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News from Crotobaltislavonia

Gunnland

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Foreign Office + Regnum Marpesiae

The Foreign Office is beginning the process of transitioning into imperial service. However Gunnland's treaty commitments, the commitments of the Council of the North, and our friendly diplomatic relations with our neighbors will not change.

S. G. Larkin
Foreign Secretary
 

Crotobaltislavonia

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A Information Ministry News graphic appears on screen with brass fanfare. The graphic fades to reveal a young Slavonian woman seated at a desk. Behind her is a live shot of Red Square in Banja Luka. The gypsies are still there, but now divided in half and the two halves separated by riot police. In the studio, the woman wears her blond hair in a braid over the crown of her head, a sleeveless black blouse, and a gold necklace. When the Information Ministry News theme concludes, she looks up from arranging her papers, smiles, and begins speaking.

"Good afternoon, Comrades! It is eighty-nine degrees and fair in Banja Luka. I'm Ajda Resnik and this is Information Ministry News Afternoon Report."

The camera shifts to the right. Over Ajda's shoulder appears a gypsies in aggressive demonstration.

"Banja Luka is seeing continued fallout from Grand Duchess Isabella's interference in the ongoing Crotian Gypsy Crisis one week ago. Last night saw a break down of talks between Assemblywoman Kincső Róza Veres, the leader of mainstream gypsies, and Crotian Peace, the faction of gypsies who are demanding an end to hardline demands. Immediately after the breakdown, supporters of both sides began demonstrating again each other. Banja Luka riot police were called in to separate the groups before the demonstrations became violent.

"Today, President Hodiah visited Assemblywoman Veres and representatives of Crotian Peace. Afterwards, she spoke to reporters."

Cut to footage of President Hodiah backed by police and security men. "Crotian Peace is saying the Grand Duchess of Lars promised new lives for the gypsies if the Three Gorges High Dam is completed. That is why they want to end this crisis immediately. Assemblywoman Veres is denying that any such promise was made and are adamant that the gypsies must make their own way. Neither side is giving much ground. I will speak to the Grand Duchess and meet with the gypsies again later today."

Back on Ajda in the studio: "In other news, the National Assembly has approved the revision of the Law of Return to include Slavonians in Bourgogne. Support for the revision gained steam in the last week as the situation in Neustria-Bourgogne deteriorated. Neustria is the home of a large population of Slavonian guest workers. Passage of the revision is seen as a victory for Pochenkoist party leader Boban Gavrilovic who recently began championing the cause of quote Slavonian rights unquote.

"Coming up next, Milica Živkovic, Grandmaster of the Banja Luka Chess League and CEO of CBS Chess joins me live to discuss her epic match taking place in Elben, the growing interest in chess her match has inspired, and her opinion on the Crotian Gypsy Crisis. I'll be back in one hundred and eighty seconds."
 

Crotobaltislavonia

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CBS News Special Report
BREAKING: Eduard Frei Found Dead

The Office of the Prime Minister is now confirming that the bodies of Eduard Frei, Assemblyman and party leader of The T Alliance - Twentes for Crotobaltislavonia, and his wife Sophia, were discovered overnight in their mangled vehicle in the ditch of a backroad between Banja Luka and Mrekt, a rural village eleven kilometers south of the capital. Investigation of the accident has been handed to Banja Luka Police. Police officials are not divulging any details, but capital district first responders have told CBS News that Assemblyman Frei may have been intoxicated at the time of the crash.

News of Eduard Frei's death has left Crotobaltislavonian Twentes, The T-Alliance and its allies in the National Assembly, and the Government in sadness and turmoil. President Hodiah has declared a weeklong state of mourning in the Crotobaltislavonia to begun tomorrow at dawn. Prime Minister Sobel has suspended activity in the Assembly until the ruling coaltion can take stock of the leadership vacuum left by Frei's death. Twentish Catholic Bishop Urban Dreschner has announced a nondenominational service will be held in Chodov, Sokolov District, tonight to honor Frei and his wife.
 

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CBS News Special Report
BREAKING: Eduard Frei Found Dead

The Office of the Prime Minister is now confirming that the bodies of Eduard Frei, Assemblyman and party leader of The T Alliance - Twentes for Crotobaltislavonia, and his wife Sophia, were discovered overnight in their mangled vehicle in the ditch of a backroad between Banja Luka and Mrekt, a rural village eleven kilometers south of the capital. Investigation of the accident has been handed to Banja Luka Police. Police officials are not divulging any details, but capital district first responders have told CBS News that Assemblyman Frei may have been intoxicated at the time of the crash.

News of Eduard Frei's death has left Crotobaltislavonian Twentes, The T-Alliance and its allies in the National Assembly, and the Government in sadness and turmoil. President Hodiah has declared a weeklong state of mourning in the Crotobaltislavonia to begun tomorrow at dawn. Prime Minister Sobel has suspended activity in the Assembly until the ruling coaltion can take stock of the leadership vacuum left by Frei's death. Twentish Catholic Bishop Urban Dreschner has announced a nondenominational service will be held in Chodov, Sokolov District, tonight to honor Frei and his wife.

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Ministry for Good Relations between Lars and
Granducato di Lars, Lars 15072019
Public Communication
The Grand Duchy of Lars expresses its closeness to the relatives of Frei and his wife. The ministry offers its moral and economic support for the ceremony to family members due to unexpected loss. Throughout the week of mourning, the flag of the Lars Embassy in Banja Luka will be a half-staff. Minister Orlando, participates directly in the funeral ceremony as representative of the state together with the Grand Duchess Isabella I of Lars, already present in the capital for several days.
 
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Crotobaltislavonia

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A Information Ministry News graphic appears on screen with brass fanfare. The graphic fades to reveal a young Slavonian woman seated at a desk. Behind her is a live shot of a pubic fountain brimming with teenagers standing in ankle-deep water. In the studio, the woman wears her blond hair in a ponytail, a black blazer and nothing underneath, and a gold necklace. When the Information Ministry News theme concludes, she looks up from arranging her papers, smiles, and begins speaking.

"Good afternoon, Comrades! It is ninety-six degrees and fair in Banja Luka. I'm Ajda Resnik and this is Information Ministry News Afternoon Report."

The camera shifts to the right. Over Ajda's shoulder appears a still of the sun.

"Our top story, Banja Luka is enduring one more day of heat. The State Electrical Authority has announced that brownouts are expected again this afternoon as cooling systems put strain on Banja Luka's electrical grid. Interior Ministry volunteers are going door-to-door in the city to make sure everyone is prepared to bear one more day of rising temperatures. Banja Luka Police is handing out free water bottles to the Crotian gypsies in Red Square. At her morning press conference, Chief Cabinet Secretary Stojanović stated that Banja Luka will have more than enough power to keep the city cool when the Three Gorges High Dam is completed.

"Forecasters predict that a cold front will arrive this evening and that temperatures tomorrow should be fifteen degrees cooler."

The still over Ajda's shoulder disappears and the camera centers on her.

"Also making news this afternoon, Banja Luka Police has announced that the investigation into the murder of Army Chief of Staff General Gašper Križ has been closed. Police sources are saying that General Križ's death is an open-and-shut case of violent mugging made easier by the fact the mugger died of Blud overdose less than an hour after and only meters away from the crime.

"In response to an email from Information Ministry News, Ministry of Defense Spokeswoman Veronica Renate Anselmetti replied that a short list of officers to replace General Križ as Chief of Staff is being finalized and should be delivered to the Presidential Palace and the White House by the end of the weekend.

"Coming up next, a new peace initiative for Germania is being proposed. Doctor Elizar Montepelier of the European International School of Thought joins me in the studio to discuss if the Free Canton would benefit from participating. I'll be back in one hundred and eighty seconds."
 

Crotobaltislavonia

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A Information Ministry News graphic appears on screen with brass fanfare. The graphic fades to reveal a young Slavonian woman seated at a desk. Behind her footage of emergency services bandaging the head of a gypsy child. In the studio, the woman wears her blond hair in a ponytail, a blue blouse, and a gold necklace. When the Information Ministry News theme concludes, she looks up from arranging her papers, frowns, and begins speaking somberly.

"Hello, Comrades. It is eighty-three degrees and fair in Banja Luka. I'm Ajda Resnik and this is an Information Ministry News Update.

"Banja Luka is still reeling from the the outbreak of violence in Red Square last night. Banja Luka Police is now saying that a flash mob of Slavonian partisans quickly descended on the square and began attacking Gypsy protestors at random with sharp and heavy objects. The attack lasted less than five minutes and injured over a dozen, most of whom were taken to municipal hospitals, treated, and released. Banja Luka's riot police unit responded to the violence; no arrests have been made.

"Today, the League of Farragoists claimed responsibility for the attack and warned of future violence against minorities that quote stand in the way of Slavonian progress unquote. Speaking to the National Assembly moments ago, Crotian-Gypsy representative Kincső Róza Veres condemned the attack and called for more police protection for the gypsies. There has been no comment from either President Hodiah or Prime Minister Sobel.

"Stay tuned for Afternoon Report when I'll speak with former prime minister Yevheniy Musayev about the Crotian-Gypsies and protest fatigue setting in across the Free Canton. I'm Ajda Resnik."
 

Crotobaltislavonia

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CBS News Friday News Dump
New Chief of Staff On The Way?
Sources are now telling CBS News that Colonel Ratko Milovic is in line to be next Army Chief of Staff. The move comes soon after the murder of incumbant Chief of Staff General Gašper Križ. Sources are also saying that there is some disquiet in the Army that such a young officer will be promoted over several senior generals. Under questioning at her morning new conference, Defense Minister spokeswoman Veronica Renate Anselmetti refused to confirm the appointment, saying only that Colonel Milovic is a well-trained officer and a decorated veteran.

Police Face Political Blowback From Investigation
Earlier today, the the Joint Task Force raided an apartment block in central Banja Luka. Masked Border Guard and Banja Luka Police operators arrested eight individuals and seized unspecified amounts of the illegal drugs Blud and Bliss. The raid comes after an anonymous tipster reported the presence of Slavonian militants. The raid immediately elicited response from Farragoist leader Zdravko Henrik Korošec who condemned the raid as an illegal sham meant to placate Prime Minister Sobel's Larsian masters. Prime Minister Sobel declined to comment on the accusation.

Emergency Negotiations Underway

President Hodiah, Assemblywoman Veres, and members of Crotian Peace are meeting inside the Presidential Palace in the wake of the Slavonian attack on the gypsy protesters in Red Square. A press conference is expected when the talks conclude.

Other Headlines
:exclaim: "FREE GENERAL KRUTEN" Graffiti Appears Across Crotobltislavonia
:exclaim: Hate Crimes Against Yiddish Community Leaders Reported In Krasrilevke
:exclaim: Energoprojekt Says Three Gorges Preparations On-Time And On-Budget
 

Crotobaltislavonia

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CBS News Weekend Update
First Steps In Dam Compromise
Energoprojekt has announced it is now forming the team of experts and technicians that will scour the lower Slava valley for Crotian-gypsy relics during construction of the Three Gorges High Dam. The team and it's mission to collect and save the Crotian heritage for display at a site to be chosen is apart of the deal made last month between the government and the Crotian minority to end their months-long protest in Banja Luka. The deal also mandates that traditional gypsy camping sites around the Free Canton be made official reservations.
 
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Crotobaltislavonia

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A Information Ministry News graphic appears on screen with brass fanfare. The graphic fades to reveal a young Slavonian woman seated at a desk. Behind her is a live shot of the White House from afar. In the studio, the woman wears her blond hair in a ponytail over the crown of her head, a black sweater, and a gold necklace. When the Information Ministry News theme concludes, she looks up from arranging her papers, and begins speaking.

"Good afternoon, Comrades. It is seventy-one degrees and sunny in Banja Luka. I'm Ajda Resnik and this is Information Ministry News Afternoon Report."

The camera shifts to the right. Over Ajda's shoulder appears a still of Rachel Sobel.

"Our top story, Prime Minister Sobel's health continues to decline. At his now daily press conference, Doctor Miloje Mlakar, Chief of Staff of Municipal Hospital Number One, said that the Prime Minister remains in critical condition after undergoing two episodes of life-saving measures last night. Besides keeping the Prime Minister alive, Doctor Mlakar said his staff, and medical personnel seconded from the Army, are doing everything they can to formulate an antidote for the poison that is killing the Prime Minister. But Doctor Mlakar confessed he was not confident they would succeed in time.

"With Prime Minister Sobel's health compromised, President Hodiah, the National Assembly, and Otpor have been in crisis negotiations over who will succeed as head of government. Sources tell IMN that Chief Cabinet Secretary Radomira Kristina Stojanović has the most support and could be appointed Prime Minster by President Hodiah as soon as today.

"Also making news today, Zdravko Henrik Korošec, the longtime underground leader of the League of Farragoists, held a rally in Red Square. Surrounded by several dozen supports, Korošec called for Crotobaltislavonia to dissolve the armed forces and become a protectorate of Kadikistan. No sooner than party leader Korošec had given his speech, a Farragoist deputy in the National Assembly submitted a bill ending all funding for the Army and the Air Force.

"Coming up next, comrades across the Free Canton are reporting bouts of disorientation. Our health correspondent weights in. I'll be back in one hundred and eighty seconds."
 

Imimoya

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A Information Ministry News graphic appears on screen with brass fanfare. The graphic fades to reveal a young Slavonian woman seated at a desk. Behind her is a live shot of the White House from afar. In the studio, the woman wears her blond hair in a ponytail over the crown of her head, a black sweater, and a gold necklace. When the Information Ministry News theme concludes, she looks up from arranging her papers, and begins speaking.

"Good afternoon, Comrades. It is seventy-one degrees and sunny in Banja Luka. I'm Ajda Resnik and this is Information Ministry News Afternoon Report."

The camera shifts to the right. Over Ajda's shoulder appears a still of Rachel Sobel.

"Our top story, Prime Minister Sobel's health continues to decline. At his now daily press conference, Doctor Miloje Mlakar, Chief of Staff of Municipal Hospital Number One, said that the Prime Minister remains in critical condition after undergoing two episodes of life-saving measures last night. Besides keeping the Prime Minister alive, Doctor Mlakar said his staff, and medical personnel seconded from the Army, are doing everything they can to formulate an antidote for the poison that is killing the Prime Minister. But Doctor Mlakar confessed he was not confident they would succeed in time.

"With Prime Minister Sobel's health compromised, President Hodiah, the National Assembly, and Otpor have been in crisis negotiations over who will succeed as head of government. Sources tell IMN that Chief Cabinet Secretary Radomira Kristina Stojanović has the most support and could be appointed Prime Minster by President Hodiah as soon as today.

"Also making news today, Zdravko Henrik Korošec, the longtime underground leader of the League of Farragoists, held a rally in Red Square. Surrounded by several dozen supports, Korošec called for Crotobaltislavonia to dissolve the armed forces and become a protectorate of Kadikistan. No sooner than party leader Korošec had given his speech, a Farragoist deputy in the National Assembly submitted a bill ending all funding for the Army and the Air Force.

"Coming up next, comrades across the Free Canton are reporting bouts of disorientation. Our health correspondent weights in. I'll be back in one hundred and eighty seconds."
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Ministry of Foreign Affairs
Granducato di Lars, Lars 09102019
PC-Public Communication

The Grand Duchy of Lars,
through his diplomatic staff, he invites the most sincere wishes for healing to Prime Minister Sobel's.
Furthermore, Lars is willing to make its own medical and military equipment and staff available to assist the neighboring nation of Crotobaltislavonia in the creation of an antidote, as well as to conduct transparent investigations into the case.

Best regards, Grand Duchy of Lars.
 

Crotobaltislavonia

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A Information Ministry News graphic appears on screen with brass fanfare. The graphic fades to reveal a young Slavonian woman seated at a desk. Behind her is a live shot of a furiously burning car from afar. In the studio, the woman wears her blond hair in a ponytail over the crown of her head, a royal blue blouse with a plunging neckline, and a gold necklace. When the Information Ministry News theme concludes, she looks up from arranging her papers, and begins speaking.

"Good afternoon, Comrades. It is forty-seven degrees, overcast, and windy in Banja Luka. I'm Ajda Resnik and this is Information Ministry News Midday Report."

The camera shifts to the right. Over Ajda's shoulder appears the badge of the Banja Luka Police with a black band across it.

"Our top story this midday, the Yiddish Blud cartel is claiming responsiblity for the wave of narco-violence that swept Banja Luka last night that saw a dozen police stations car-bombed. In a statement to IMN, the narco-insurgents say the new offensive against the state's security forces is punishment for the recent breakdown in peace talks and will continue until President Hodiah is ready to make concrete concessions.

"At a press conference, Banja Luka Police Commissioner Perko announced the car-bombs killed and wounded forty-seven policemen and over a hundred civilians.

"And now, a minute of silence for our dead comrades."

Ajda bows her head as the lights in the studio dim.
 

Kadikistani Union

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People's Commissariat for External Affairs
International Building, 103132, Rurik Square, Ivar

As always we stand in full solidarity with our friends and allies in Banja Luka and offer our most sincere condolences to the families and friends of the victims of this horrible crime. To symbolize our sympathies we will fly all State flags half-mast for the remainder of the month. Words can not describe the grief caused by these cowards whom act only for the sake of their own greed. Know that we will assist in any way possible manner should our Crotobaltislavonian friends request it.

Signed,

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Annaguly Oghankanev
People's Commissar for External Affairs
People's Federal Socialist Republics of Kadikistan
 

Crotobaltislavonia

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CBS News Monday News Dump
Farragoist Power Struggle Continues
A public debate was held in Red Square last night between Zdravko Henrik Korošec and Ilija Tomcic, who are contesting for leadership of the League of Farragoists. Up for debate was the national relationship with Kadikistan, the treaties with Gunnland and Lars, and the "Yiddish Problem". Banja Luka Police was on hand, though no violence and arrests were reported.

Three Gorges High Dam Is On Time And On Budget

Energoprojekt, the state corporation tasked with constructing the Three Gorges High Dam, has announced the project is on time and on budget and the preparation phase has been completed. Manpower has been assembled and trained by overseas experts. Tools and equipment has been purchased and staged. And Crotian Gypsy graves and relics have been carefully removed from the expected flood zone. Construction is scheduled to begin next month.

Other Headlines
:exclaim: Construction To Begin On Gunn Superhighway This Summer
:exclaim: Army Announces Retooling At Tank Plant #1 Completed
:exclaim: President Hodiah To Pardon Marko Radana Zima And Nazario Capitani?
:exclaim: Whatever Happened To The Alliance With Lars; Treaty Languishes In The National Assembly
:exclaim: New Labor Shortages Feared As Megaprojects To Begin This Summer
 

Rheinbund

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Aussenministerium — Ministero degli Esteri — Ministère des Affaires Étrangères
Trier, Eiffelland-Retalien — Treviri, Eiffellandia-Retalia — Trèves, Eiffellande-Rétalie


We strongly condemn the wave of terrorist assaults committed by the Yiddish Blud Cartel, and offer our condolences to families and friends of the deceased. We wish the injured police officers a speedy recovery. The flags at the Eiffelloretalian Embassy in Banja Luka as well as the Eiffelloretalian consulates will be flown half-mast for three days. We will put the Yiddish Blud Cartel on the list of terrorist organisations, which means that their assets in Eiffelland-Retalia will be confiscated. The financial benefits of these confiscations will be transferred to the Government of Crotobaltislavonia. We offer our assistance in tracking down the members of the Yiddish Blud Cartel.

Gianluigi di Gravesano-Carone, Minister of Foreign Affairs and Extraordinary Ambassador of the Italophone minority in Eiffelland-Retalia
 

Crotobaltislavonia

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An Information Ministry News graphic appears on screen with brass fanfare. The graphic fades to reveal a young Slavonian woman seated at a desk. Behind her is a live shot of a Kincső Róza Veres giving a fiery speech to the National Assembly. In the studio, the woman wears her blond hair neatly parted down the middle, a black turtlneck sweater, and a gold necklace. When the Information Ministry News theme concludes, she looks up from arranging her papers, and begins speaking.

"Good afternoon, Comrades. It is fifty-one degrees and overcast in Banja Luka. I'm Ajda Resnik and this is Information Ministry News Midday Report."

The camera shifts to the right. Over Ajda's shoulder appears a picture of President Hodiah.

"Our top story this midday, President Hodiah is drawing fire from the National Assembly for her failure to appoint a new prime minister. The criticism is ranging from complaints of neglect to outright accusations of malfeasance. There is even grumbling from the President's own party, the Free Jewish Coalition, with one party insider telling IMN that quote we will not support another Pochenko or Farrago, even a Yiddish one unquote."

The graphic over Ajda's shoulder changes to a picture of crosshairs and blood.

"Also making news this midday, the Banja Luka Police held a press conference this morning. Commander Dubravka Goranka Tomić of Special Branch announced that new raids by the Joint Task Force over the weekend resulted in the arrest of almost a dozen mid-level Blud Cartel members, including suspected Free State mercenaries, and the seizure of over ten million dinaris in cash. Commander Tomić had this to say."

The picture changes to a tall and muscular Slavonian woman in a Police uniform. She has a wide peasant face and her hair is cut close to her scalp. "Trivodnian mercenaries are concerning. Though its violence is nowhere as near as brutal as Nekmet's, the Cartel seems intent on making war against the State."

Back on Ajda in the studio, "up next, the Free State is at it again. There is word this midday that the Polesian has its eyes on Crotobaltislavonia. IMN will speak with Army Chief of Staff General Ratko Milovic about the threat-level in the east as well as the Army's new line of armored fighting vehicles. I'll be back in one hundred and eighty seconds."
 

Crotobaltislavonia

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Official Announcement
Ministry of Foreign Affairs
Banja Luka


The Ministry of Foreign Affairs advises CAUTION to all Crotobaltislavonian nationals travelling to Eiffelland-Retalia. Folxmashin-manufactured automobiles entering that country will be confiscated and the drivers will be heavily fined.
 

Crotobaltislavonia

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A Breaking News graphic appears on screen with dramatic brass fanfare. The graphic and music fades to reveal a young Slavonian woman standing on stage. Behind her is a live shot of Red Square filled with wheeled armored vehicles and troops milling around. In the studio, the woman wears her blond hair in a ponytail, a black button-down, a gold necklace, and black slacks. When the Breaking News theme concludes, she looks up from her papers, and begins speaking.

"Good evening, Comrades. I'm Ajda Resnik and this is IMN Breaking News.

"IMN has just been informed that effective immediately, there will be a dusk-to-down curfew in Banja Luka, Foca, Bublava, Krasrilevke, Novi Grad, Beltizni, Hartem, and Olnitz. Security in the Zones of Control is being tightened. Citizens travelling across the free border into Lars will now require an exit visa from Banja Luka Police's Special Branch.

"Comrades, there will be an announcement regarding a matter of national importance tomorrow at at nineteen hundred Banja Luka Time.

"More information is being broadcast on the Information Ministry's radio channel, KKEZ 94.5, the Guiding Light. Stay tuned to IMN for further updates as we get them."
 

Crotobaltislavonia

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CBS News Morning Edition
Opposition Alliance Forming

Political fallout from the military takeover of the government following President Hodiah's assassination continues. This morning, Crotian National Assemblywoman Kincső Róza Veres announced she has agreed with leaders of the Free Jewish Coalition and the T Alliance to form a united opposition against General Ratko Milovic's junta.

Assemblywoman Veres had this to say, "we will take the political steps to stand up for our rights and liberties. I pray that will be enough."

Superprojects To Continue
At this morning's daily press conference, Ministry of Defense Spokeswoman Veronica Renate Anselmetti promised that there will be no interruption of the Three Gorges High Dam or the Transnational Superhighway projects.

Spokeswoman Anselmetti had this to say, "our national protectors have taken control to stabilize the Homeland, not disrupt it. These projects are essential to our national well-being. They will be completed on time and on budget."
 

Crotobaltislavonia

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An Information Ministry News graphic appears on screen with brass fanfare. The graphic fades to reveal a young Slavonian woman seated at a desk. Behind her is a live shot of Alexander Radek inspecting a platoon of the 1st Cuirassiers in their ceremonial uniforms. In the studio, the woman wears her blond hair braided and hung over the crown of her head, a sleeveless sky blue top, and a gold necklace. When the Information Ministry News theme concludes, she looks up from arranging her papers, and begins speaking.

"Good evening, Comrades. It is seventy-three degrees with fair skies in Banja Luka. I'm Ajda Resnik and this is Information Ministry News Evening Report."

The camera shifts to the right and zooms in. Over Ajda's shoulder appears a picture of Radek.

"We begin this evening with continuing coverage of our late breaking story, the surprise return of Alexander Radek to service as the new Supreme Commander of the Joint High Command and de facto leader of the military administration. No sooner was it announced that Radek had returned, that he appeared on the balcony of the Presidential Palace overlooking Red Square, looking resplendent in the uniform of a Generalissimo of the Armed Forces. A crowd immediately assembled and Generalissimo Radek spoke for over twenty minutes, his fiery oration stirring the crowd to cheers and tears of joy. One woman who saw the speech had this say."

A handsome middle-aged Slavonian woman appears on screen. "Uncle Radek, he was right all along. And now we're in more dangerous than ever. It's been too long since the Homeland has had a good strong Slavonian man in charge of things. I'll sleep safer tonight."

Back in the studio on Ajda. "Our other top story this evening, sources within the Banja Luka Police have revealed to IMN that detectives have linked the death of President Lihi Hodiah to a call-girl who died of massive organ failure at Municipal Hospital Number One earlier this week. The sources confirmed that President Hodiah was in fact a sexual-deviant and that detectives believe she frequently consorted with prostitutes in high-risk behavior. The sources concluded by saying that detectives are now unsure if President Hodiah's death was in fact an assassination or a sex-game gone bad. President Hodiah's family remains in seclusion and refused to comment when contacted by IMN.

"Coming up next, IMN speaks with Doctor Elizar Montepelier, a specialist on Crotobaltislavonia at the European International School of Thought. We'll discuss the pros and cons of Generalissimo Radek's return and the prospects for a return to democracy as long as the Blud Cartel remains a threat to public security. I'll be back in one hundred and eighty seconds."
 
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