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Rheinbund

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THE NEW CHANCELLOR


12 April 2010

“Well, you’ve achieved it, Chancellor,” King Albrecht said to Von Seydewitz. “But I still have the bad feeling that I helped you with a dirty plot.”
“It is too easy to say that you can’t work in politics without getting your hands dirty, Your Majesty,” Von Seydewitz said. “Believe me if I say that I hated to do this, because if there’s one thing I hate, then it is a dirty plot. Most people carrying out dirty plots only think of themselves. I don’t want to see myself as someone who only thinks of himself. Unfortunately, I have to confirm that you can’t work in politics without getting your hands dirty. It becomes a problem if you don’t mind getting your hands dirty. You should always prevent getting dirty hands. But there are situations in which you can’t prevent that. Sometimes you have to get dirty hands to prevent something worse. This was such a case. My most important concern was the educational reforms pushed through by Jörgens and Rudersbach, and how those reforms in fact harmed the quality of our education. I already saw in advance that those reforms would kill our educational system, but I couldn’t prevent them.”
“Why didn’t you break the government earlier then?”
“It wasn’t possible to form a different coalition which would be stable enough at those times. It was only now that we could push a change through. I needed to get a majority with Kögler, both in the Staatstag and in the Staatsrat, and we regained that only recently.”
“Well, it’s still a quite small majority. You will need to be careful.”
“Majorities have been smaller in the past. The main destabilising factor would be the Staatsrat. One provincial election could make us loose our majority there. We will have to wait and see. In any case, should I have to enter a coalition with the Sociodemocrats again, then at least I have to deal with people who are more reasonable than Jörgens.”
“Indeed. That man is stranger than my father told me. It was the first time since the constitutional reforms in the 19th century that a King discharged a Government member unvoluntarily. Jörgens had a Motion of Distrust against him, but didn’t want to resign. But why?”
“He had an agenda and wanted to push that through. Mind you, the man belonged to the leftwing part of the Sociodemocrats. He didn’t want to govern with me but was forced to do so by the election results. Like it was for me.”
“How revengeful could he be?”
“I don’t know. I have to discuss that with Minister Neubauer. He knows him better than I do. He studied in Ingelheim in the same period as Jörgens did.”

After his weekly meeting with the King, Chancellor von Seydewitz went back to the chancellery while thinking about what the King had said about possibly revengeful feelings of former Chancellor Jörgens. He knew that Jörgens was very convinced of his own ideas, but how far would he go to realise them? And how insulted would he feel after the recent events?

“Glad that you could come, Philipp,” the Chancellor said to Neubauer as he showed him into what had very recently become his study. After the Cabinet Von Seydewitz I had been appointed, Von Seydewitz and his wife had moved to Schloß Bellevue, the official residence of the Eiffellandian Chancellors. When both men had seated, Neubauer asked why Von Seydewitz had asked him to visit him.
“Jörgens,” Von Seydewitz said. “What kind of person is he? Would he be capable of developing plans for revenge?”
“I don’t know. Who asked you that?”
“The King. Mind you, Jörgens even wanted to ignore the motion of distrust against himself. The King is concerned. And of course Jörgens knows some state secrets.”
“The recent events will have hurt him enormously. But I don’t know if he would be able to become angry enough to betray any state secrets. And if, then only to a country like Carentania. Do you want me to have him surveyed by the Staatsschutz?”
“Suppose we don’t do so, and then it suddenly turns out that Jörgens ran to the Carentanians with some information? Or worse, he thinks that he runs to the Carentanians but in fact runs to the Sarmatians? Then I have to face an angry King. Better safe than sorry in this case. So if you could do so, please do.”
 

Rheinbund

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THE MERCHANT


10 July 2010
Orléans, Belmont

“Eiffelland introduces same sex marriage”

“Eiffellandian prince gay”

Two quotes, one from a newspaper, the other one from the gossip magazine he read at the hairdresser’s saloon. The 47 year old Rainer Maas couldn’t get them out of his head. What was happening in his former mothercountry? He knew Eiffelland as a conservative country where you could only live freely in the major cities. How much had the country changed since he left?
Snatches of memories from his last year in Eiffelland came back. The introduction days for the new students in Weissenfels, when he as a 2nd year student showing the new 1st year students around. After that, student life in Weissenfels. Pubs and discos in Weissenfels. Parks in Weissenfels. Weekends in Danzig, Emyn Arnen, Nürnberg, Augsburg, Fond-du-Loc. Eastern in Paris. Seeing the sun rise above Paris…

Un cola light et la carte, s’il vous plaît.
Oui, monsieur.

Maas was sitting on a terrace near the beach of Orléans. It was a hot and sunny day, but less hot than it would be in Weissenfels at present. And less hot than it was on those septemberdays in Weissenfels…


6 September 1985
Weissenfels, Eiffelland

“Gentlemen, your introduction group will be a special one,” the guy of the committee organising the university introduction week said to Rainer Maas and Hanno Gaetano. “You know that Prince Philipp is going to start his studies here this year. He will be in your introduction group. Because of that, you will get some extra instructions from two men of the Königlicher Garde.”
Rainer and Hanno didn’t know what to say. On the one hand, they were proud to have the Prince in their introduction group. On the other hand, it was something that made them nervous. What kind of a person was the Prince? What kind of expectations would he have? And how would the other people in the group react on the Prince’s presence?

After they had discussed the matter with the people of the Königlicher Garde and the organising committee, Rainer and Hanno wanted to get some beers to think this over. So they went to a Biergarten in the inner city. It had been raining all week, but today the sun had begun shining again. September could still be steaming hot in Southern Eiffelland, and that was what the weather of today was promising.

“So, we’re gonna get the Prince in our group. 10,000 new first year students in Weissenfels this year. 1000 introduction groups, and of all those groups exactly our group will get that one first year student the whole city is talking about,” Rainer said.
“Indeed. It’s a pity that it’s not a Princess. I’d love to get a Princess in my bed once,” Hanno said with bravoure.
“And you think you’d get her in your bed when the Prince would have been a Princess?” Rainer teased.
“Hey! My charm is irrestistible. Especially in my role as the all-knowing guy who will lead those uncertain fresh girls through the city. And one, maybe two of them will land in my bed,” Hanno said.
“Of course, you Casanova. But is that really what you want, getting a fresh and uncertain first year girl in your bed?” Rainer asked.
“I like the idea, but I won’t go for it. First of all, we have an introduction group to give a good time. I leave it to Cupido to decide whether he’ll fire his arrows or not. And if not, my student time is still far from over. Prost,” Hanno said.
And the two guys clinked loudly with their half-liter glasses…


10 July 2010
Orléans, Belmont

Vous avez choisi, monsieur?

Maas was startled by the waiter. First he was a bit desoriented. Then he answered.

Excusez-moi. S’il vous plaît le tournedos, et une caraffe de votre vin de la maison.
Bon choix, monsieur.

Meanwhile, the terrace had become fuller with people who wanted to dine. Happy conversations were heard everywhere. Maas was sitting alone, but that was his choice now. He would meet some friends later, but now he had to think things over. Hanno Gaetano… Maas’s best friend during his years as a student. What had happened to him in the meantime? How would he live now?

___________________________________________________________


OOC: French texts:
Un cola light et la carte, s’il vous plaît = A diet coke and the menu card please.
Oui, monsieur = Yes Sir.
Vous avez choisi, monsieur? = Did you make a choice Sir?
Excusez-moi. S’il vous plaît le tournedos, et une caraffe de votre vin de la maison = Sorry. Please the tournedos and a decanter of your house wine.
Bon choix, monsieur = Good choice Sir.
 

Rheinbund

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THE MERCHANT


10 July 2010
Orléans, Belmont

Un tournedos… Et une caraffe du vin de la maison. Bon appetit, monsieur.
Merci.

Maas was a descendant of a quite rich and very devout Catholic family of winegrowers. He had a big knowledge of all sorts of grapes and all sorts of wines. He had made his job out of that after he had left Eiffelland. Now he was an experienced wine merchant who earned himself a comfortable living. After having travelled across the globe, he had settled in Orléans, although he needed to travel a lot to visit the various winegrowers in the country. Now he had one of his rare free moments in this time of the year. Time to reflect…


9 September 1985
Weissenfels, Eiffelland

Although quite rich, and although the family tree was well documented, the Maas family was not part of Eiffelland’s elite. In spite of that, Rainer went to the university where Eiffelland’s elite studied, as one of the many students who chose for Weissenfels because it was the regional university. He was the first member of the family who would study. He was studying agricultural techniques, and he would focus on wine production.
But that was not the complete story of Rainer Maas. The family pressure on him was large. He was the eldest son of the family, destined to inherit the vineyard from his father. He had a girfriend in his home-village, for whom he slinged his bag with clothes into the front boot of his old Beetle almost every weekend and who sometimes came to visit him in Weissenfels. And of course it was the family’s expectation that she would become his wife once. Rainer had managed to push through that he would marry her after he would finish his study, because taking care of children would have been difficult for him while studying.
Lisa was a nice girl with a sweet character, but Rainer was not in love with her. He let the relationship continue, but he was not in love with her. In fact, he wasn’t interested in girls in general. But he knew that he couldn’t tell that to his family. The son and heir gay? His father would explode; his grandfather even more. The whole village would explode. Rainer was extremely afraid of his family.
But he couldn’t withhold his urges. He didn’t want to be seen entering a gay bar, so he sometimes went to the cruising areas of Weissenfels. Nobody of his family or his home-village knew, and hopefully nobody of his friends here. He knew that in fact he betrayed Lisa with going to the cruising areas, and he didn’t like that at all. Lisa deserved better. But telling the truth to her would mean that he had to tell the truth to his family. And that would destroy his life.

There were no universities with campuses in Eiffelland. Eiffellandian students either lived in student homes, or lived in houses reshaped by the landlord to facilitate flat-sharing, or rented houses or apartments together with other students, or lived in houses bought by their parents, or lived with their parents. Rainer lived in a flat-sharing community in the center of one of Weissenfels’s student quarters.

Like in all university cities in Eiffelland, the introduction week for the new first year students started today. September was doing its best to make the ambiance as good as possible. Temperatures rised to 35 centigrades during day time and stayed above 25 centigrades at night. By tradition, the first year students would eat at the place of one of their introduction leaders. Rainer’s and Hanno’s group met at Rainer’s place. The new first year students dropped in one-by-one. Prince Philipp was the last one to arrive, and the first one to ease the athmosphere. “Just call me Philipp,” he said with a warm tone in his voice as one started to say “Your highness” to him. Because there weren’t enough chairs in the room, some people had to sit on the floor. Prince Philipp seated himself on the floor as well, next to Rainer.
Of course the first talkings were about the corpora and comparable student organisations. Some people didn’t want to undergo the initiation rites of a student corps, but others wanted to join one. Rainer and Hanno were no members of a corps, but were members of a student sports association. Philipp indicated that he would join the most traditional student corps of the city. “Family tradition; I have to,” he said.
After dinner, the whole group went into the city for a pub tour. It was 5 a.m. before everybody went home.


10 September 1985

Rainer and Hanno were washing the dishes of last day’s dinner, as suddenly the door bell rang. Rainer went to the front door to open it. It was Philipp.
“Hi,” he said, “I thought I would come to help you with cleaning up.”
“That’s not needed,” Rainer laughed, “but now that you’re here, come in.” And he left room for Philipp to enter the house.
With Philipp’s help, the dishes were clean soon. After that, there was some time to talk and drink a beer before going to the eatery where they would meet with the introduction group. Rainer became more and more mollified by Philipp. But as soon as he noticed that, he thought: No! Don’t! The guy is a prince!
But during that week, Philipp always tried to be by Rainer’s side. In the eateries, on the terraces, he would always sit next to Rainer. In the pubs, he would often be close to Rainer. In the discos, he would always dance next to Rainer. Rainer’s feelings were mixed. On the one hand, he was happy with Philipp by his side. But on the other hand, he always thought: No, Philipp, please don’t, or else I won’t be able to hold myself


10 July 2010
Orléans, Belmont

Le tournedos était-il à votre goût, monsieur?
Il était delicieux. S’il vous plaît un café et l’addition.

Maas paid the bill and then went to the concert hall.

___________________________________________________________


OOC: French texts:
Un tournedos… Et une caraffe du vin de la maison. Bon appetit, monsieur = A tournedos... And a decanter of house wine. Enjoy your meal Sir.
Merci = Thank you.
Le tournedos était-il à votre goût, monsieur? = Did you enjoy the tournedos, Sir?
Il était delicieux. S’il vous plaît un café et l’addition = It was delicious. Please a coffee and the bill.
 

Rheinbund

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THE MERCHANT


11 July 2010
Orléans, Belmont

“Good morning, Mr. Heuliez, how are things going?”
“…”
“Yes, it’s also fine with me. What can I do for you?”
“…”
“No, not this week, that won’t work. But I will be in the neighbourhood next week.”
“…”
“Thursday at 11 a.m.? Good. I’ll be at your vineyard then.”

Maas hung up the phone.

After Maas had left Eiffelland, he had travelled around the globe. Because of that, he not only spoke German, French and English, but Arab, Italian, Oikawan, Ratomkiran and Shinreoan as well. And so he exported Belmontien wine to Wiese, Franken, Hajr (although that market was small because of Islam), the Tiburan Empire, Talemantros and Eastern Europe. The material part of his life was good…


15 September 1985
Weissenfels, Eiffelland

Still the weather was hot. Extremely hot. And beautiful. No cloud to be seen. It was mid-September, and everybody who could wear shorts wore shorts. Even the nights were hot. Especially in the cities. Especially in Weissenfels.

Rainer had had a lot of fun last week, but also something to handle. He had fallen in love with Philipp, and he had the feeling that Philipp had fallen in love with him as well. This became a difficult situation when Lisa came over to celebrate with the group on Friday and Saturday. Rainer had the feeling that he had managed to act “normally” towards Lisa, but that cost him a lot of effort. And he saw that Philipp became sad when seeing him with Lisa. But that wasn’t his main concern. His main concern was how to hide his feelings towards Philipp before Lisa.

Because Lisa had to go back for her civil service the next day, Rainer took her to the station. As they said goodbye, Lisa said to Rainer: “You were so absent this weekend. Why?”
“Really? Was I?” Rainer asked.
“I continuously had the feeling that you weren’t completely there,” Lisa said. “Don’t get me wrong, I had a good time, and I think you did a very good job as leader of an introduction group, but I continuously had the feeling that something is bothering you.”
“Don’t worry, Lisa,” Rainer smiled, “maybe I’m a bit tired. That’s all. I have been partying all week, you know. That’s also part of such an introduction week. Hey, see you next Saturday.” And Rainer gave Lisa a kiss.

Rainer’s group had grown quite a bit during the week, despite efforts by him and Hanno to prevent that. They didn’t want their group to be filled with people who wanted to be able to say that they were a member of the Prince’s introduction group. One guy even tried to buy himself in with a couple of crates of beer, but both the guy and the crates of beer were refused. But that single guy who had lost the contact with his original introduction group was “adopted”, and some friends of people in the group joined as well.

Today was the closing party of the introduction week, in the stadium of the soccer club Borussia Weissenfels. 15,000 students would come to celebrate. The Eiffellandian rockband Silly would perform. Everybody looked forward to it. Also the people in Rainer’s group. First they went to an eatery, then they went to some pubs, and then they went to the party.

The athmosphere in the stadiumwas outstanding. People danced a lot, and again Philpp danced next to Rainer. People became even more enthousiastic when Silly performed. When the band started a slow song of its latest album, Philipp put his arm around Rainer’s shoulder, and Hanno did the same from the other side. The whole hall sang “Vögel aus Zigarettenpapier landen auf deine Haut” together with the singer of the group.
Hours later, Philipp took Rainer to a dark edge of the building, and started to kiss him passionately. Rainer was baffled, but answered the kiss. Meanwhile, Watching you by Shakatak sounded through the stadium.
After a few minutes, Rainer asked: “Philipp, is this really a good idea?”
Mensch, Rainer, es ist schon klar dass die Lisa deine Alibibraut ist. Du bist schwul, ich bin schwul, und wir sind verliebt ineinander. Also Scheiss auf die moral. You want it, I want it, let’s do it,” Philipp said…

______________________________________________________________


OOC 1: The German text is from the song Schlohweißer Tag by the East-German rockband Silly. I know the rule about the case to use after “auf” (movement towards or away from the object = accusative, otherwise dative), but it remains a philosophical question if a bird landing on something should be considered a movement towards that something or not. The text I obtained from the Internet uses the Dative, my gut-feeling says that the Accusative is better.

OOC 2: Mensch, Rainer, es ist schon klar dass die Lisa deine Alibibraut ist. Du bist schwul, ich bin schwul, und wir sind verliebt ineinander. Also Scheiss auf die moral = Oh, come on, Rainer, it’s already clear that Lisa is your alibi-girlfriend. You’re gay, I’m gay and we’re in love with each other. So fuck morale.
 

Rheinbund

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THE MERCHANT


23 July 2010
Wine regions of Belmont

The grape harvest promised to be good this year. 2010 would become a good year for Belmontien wine. Maas liked that from the point of view of his interest in wine. From a financial point of view, he was on the good track of earning enough money for the rest of his life.
Much of his work consisted of traveling. Not only visiting the vineyards in Belmont, but also traveling abroad from time to time. Because his activities in Franken and Wiese had just started, he needed to travel there a bit more than he would have to travel to Eastern Europe. He would be in Wiese next month…


30 November 1985
100 km from Weissenfels, Eiffelland

There was one difficulty in Rainer’s and Philipp’s relationship: Nobody was to know. It was of vital importance that neither of the families would find out. Both guys had a similar problem. The universities in Weissenfels had a regional function, so there was always the possibility that somebody who knew about the existence of Rainer caught up some rumours and told them further. Philipp had to fear the yellow press, not only papparazzi, but journalists catching up rumours as well.
Because Rainer lived in a flat-sharing community, it was out of the question that the two guys would meet there. Philipp had a city-house of his own, but with a butler, and with guards. Luckily, the butler had a day-off once a week. At that day, Rainer always visited Philipp. When the guards started to ask questions, Philipp just said that they practiced Judo together. That was the sport both did, so that was a good excuse.

They also went abroad for a weekend from time to time. The first time they did so was a weekend in Danzig. First they drove to Ratzeburg, a city near the border with Danzig, in Philipp’s Porsche 928. That alone was an experience to Rainer, because “flying” was a more accurate description of Philipp’s driving style than “driving”. Autumn had caught Eiffelland, so the weather had become quite a lot worse. The leaves were already falling off the trees. A thick blanket of clouds was hanging over Southern Eiffelland, making it rather dark also during the day. The forests they drove through made it even more twilight-like. Sometimes it rained a bit.
In Ratzeburg, they took the international train to Danzig. Philipp used his passport and credit cards from his second identity, so in fact he travelled incognito. Rainer had been in the City State twice before, but always via the motorway. He knew that it was impressive to approach Danzig when it was dark; he had already experienced it. The glow of Danzig’s lights was already visible from far. After the checkpoint, some grasslands and forests the city had forgotten to build on, the villa quarters, and then the skyscrapers.
Night life in Danzig was spectacular, but most important for Rainer and Philipp was that they had time for each other. Normally they only had a few hours to spend together, and only at Philipp’s house. Now they could go out together, do sightseeing and shopping together, and spend the night together. They even took their breakfast in bath.

One month later, they went to Emyn Arnen. Philipp had arranged tickets for the musical Chess there. The English crew would perform, which wasn’t a problem, because most people in Arendaal were fluent in English, like Philipp and Rainer. The musical was about a Kryobaijani chessplayer who fled to Anglyn during an international chess tournament. When Where I want to be was sung, Philipp started to sniff. Rainer noticed that, and put his arm around Philipp’s shoulder. Philipp whispered in Rainer’s ear: “The golden cage he sings about is the story of my life.” Meanwhile, the music continued.

Don't get me wrong
I'm not complaining
Times have been good
Fast, entertaining
But what's the point
If I'm concealing
Not only love
All other feeling.
Now I'm
Where I want to be and who I want to be and doing what I always said I would and yet I feel I haven't won at all
Running for my life and never looking back in case there's someone right behind to shoot me down and say he always knew I'd fall

“And also that is what I fear,” Philipp whispered in Rainer’s ear.

That was last weekend. An impressive weekend in more than one way. Not only because of the musical, but also because of the impression Emyn Arnen left behind on Philipp and Rainer. More there than everywhere else could they be themselves. People didn’t mind if they held hands in public.
Now Rainer was in his birth-village, visiting his parents and Lisa. He continuously had to think of the weekend before, and that made everything more difficult. Especially as Lisa very enthousiasticly told that her parents and her sister would be away tonight and that they had the house for themselves. He had told to his parents and Lisa that he sometimes had to follow classes during the weekend. “Also on Sunday?” his father had asked. “Also on Sunday,” he had answered.

“Rainer, you’re so silent. What’s the matter?” Lisa asked that night when Rainer was with her.
“What should be the matter?” he asked back.
“I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking you.”
“I’m just thinking about what I should give you all for Christmas.”
“Is that bothering you so much?”
“You know that I have many presents to give.”
“What will you be doing in the weekend before Christmas?”
“I thought I told you. I’ll be going to Trier with some friends.”
“Indeed, you told me. Why can’t I come with you?”
“We just plan to do some guys’s stuff. You’ll never like it.”
“How do you know?” Lisa put up a pout. Then she asked teasing: “Hey, you’re not going to Trier with your second girlfriend, are you?”
“Second girlfriend?” Rainer started to laugh. “I’ll show you that you’re my only love.” And he lifted Lisa off the couch and carried her to her bedroom, knowing that he would not go to Trier with his friends or second girfriend, but to Nürnberg with his boyfriend. His only love…

___________________________________________


OOC: Probably not needed, but I consider it better to mention the source of the songtext. That was the song Where I want to be from the musical Chess.
 

Rheinbund

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THE MERCHANT


12 February 1986
Weissenfels, Eiffelland

That looked nice. Only ones and twoos, and a single three. This meant that he had passed all the exams of the last period, and with good notes. Rainer already had a good feeling about the exams, but now he was really in a happy mood. 10 days ago, he was in Fond-du-Loc with Philipp. The first time in 2 months that they could spend a weekend together again. Both Rainer and Philipp had to spend the Christmas holidays with their families. There was no possibility to overcome that, although Rainer had taken some compact cassettes and his walkman with him, so that he could play the songs that reminded him of the happy moments he shared with Philipp. After the Christmas holidays, the exams started, so that they didn’t have much time for each other, either.

The Weihnachstmarkt in Nürnberg had been a very special experience. It was romantic. Extremely romantic. In the Eiffelland of the 1980s, the Christmas traditions were limited to the Christmas Tree, the scenery, the luxurious dinners and the presents. The Franken did much more with Christmas decorations and Christmas gadgets than the Eiffellandians. Especially with Christmas lights for outside, but the climate in Franken was perfect for that. Compared with Eiffelland, it was colder in December, and much darker. And the natural darkness made the lights even more romantic. Rainer had said to Philipp that he wanted to spend Christmas in Nürnberg with him. That was also Philipps idea.
That night, they also went out in Nürnberg. As the song Talking in your sleep by the Romantics was played in one of the pubs, Rainer said to Philipp: “You talk in your sleep as well.”
“So now you heard all my secrets,” Philipp replied.
“Indeed.”
“And? Did you like them?”
“Yes.”

Last weekend, Lisa had come over to Weissenfels. It had been a nice weekend. They went to the cinema on Friday night, and went out with some of Rainer’s friends on Saturday night. Also Lisa told that she liked it. After he had taken Lisa to the station, he came to the conclusion that he had finally managed to play the game of hide and seek correctly.

Rainer went home to call his parents about the good notes, and then he went to Hanno, with whom he had an appointment to eat together.

“Did you know that Lisa is worried about you?” Hanno asked that evening.
“Well, she asked me two times if something was bothering me. I always said no, because there is nothing that bothers me. And this weekend she didn’t ask,” Rainer said.
“She did ask me,” Hanno said.
“Why you and not me?”
“I don’t know. Maybe she didn’t get satisfactory answers from you.”
Rainer remained silent.
“There is something, isn’t there?” Hanno asked.
Rainer didn’t answer.
“Rainer, this is becoming a danger for your relationship with Lisa. You don’t need to tell me, but at least tell her and try to solve your problems. Seek help if you can’t solve them yourself,” Hanno said.
“I can only tell you what I told Lisa: There is nothing,” Rainer said.
“Don’t you realise that you have changed since last September?” Hanno asked.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Lisa says the same as I do. In fact, she considered you acting strange already during the introduction week.”
“Come on. Who is still controlling his mind completely after a week of drinking and partying?”
“It would be really strange if you’d still suffer from that after 5 months. You are still acting differently. You are dealing with something, and that costs you quite a lot of effort.”
“Well obviously not enough to influence my notes.”
“That’s correct. But there is more in your life than only your study results.”
Rainer remained silent.
“Do you have a second girlfriend here in Weissenfels?” Hanno asked.
“Lisa asked me as well once. The answer is no. Why should I betray her?” Rainer replied.
“I don’t know. But you’re never at home on Tuesday evenings, and you always try to keep those evenings free.”
“I told you, I always practice Judo with somebody on Tuesday evenings.”
“1. That is apparently not somebody of our club. Not that I consider that a problem, but then I’m wondering how and where you met the person. 2. Your Judo has not improved as much as you would expect when you practice an additional time a week with somebody else. 3. If it is only an appointment for practicing Judo, why do you always refuse to do something else on the evenings you usually practice with that someone?”
“It is somebody of my study year who also studies agricultural techniques, and Tuesday evening is the only moment he can practice.”
“But you never want to skip practicing with him, either,” Hanno said.
Rainer remained silent.
“You don’t practice Judo on Tuesday evening. You meet your second girlfriend on Tuesday evening … Or is it your boyfriend?” Hanno asked.
Rainer couldn’t hide completely that Hanno’s question shocked him.
“My goodness, that’s the problem. You have a boyfriend and want to hide that. And that’s why you don’t want to tell me, either,” Hanno said.
Rainer remained silent.
“You don’t have to tell me if this is true or not, but if it’s true, you’re effectively abusing Lisa in a worse way than if you’d have a second girlfriend,” Hanno said.
“What do you mean with that?” Rainer asked.
“Have you ever heard of AIDS?”
“Of course I heard of it. What else do you think?”
“I don’t know why you continue the relationship with Lisa while having a boyfriend as well, maybe to hide your homosexuality for your family and for whom else whatsoever, but if you caught AIDS, you will definitely pass it on to her. Furthermore, you are abusing her feelings to have her as your alibi. And suppose if you marry her. You will saddle her with a man who doesn’t like her. And you also deny her the possibility to look for a man who does.”
Rainer remained silent.
“Maybe you didn’t realise this, maybe you did. You told me once that you have an extremely religious family. Indeed then you might have a serious problem if you’re gay. But please quit with Lisa. Don’t make her a victim as well,” Hanno said.
Rainer remained silent.
“Anyway, I won’t tell anyone about this. I won’t tell Lisa, either, if she asks about it. And I don’t care if you’re gay or not. Just make the right choices so that you get a happy life,” Hanno said.

After a few minutes, Rainer said: “OK, it’s one o’ clock. I need to go home. But first I go to the toilet.”
“Well, you know where it is,” Hanno said.

As he came back from the toilet, Rainer saw Hanno taking the dishes to the kitchen. Hanno was carrying Rainer’s dish and glass to the kitchen with paper tissues around them. “Entschuldige Rainer,” Hanno said, “ich habe nie behauptet, dass ich Herr meiner Ängste bin.
Vergiß nicht, die Türknöpfe und die Toilette zu entseuchen,” Rainer said sarcasticly, while sending a withering look at Hanno.

When he was outside, Rainer cursed a few times and gave an enormous kick against one of the street lamps. As a result, the lamp went out. Rainer looked at the top of the street lamp, and cursed: “Ach du Scheiße.” Then he took his bicycle and went home.

______________________________________________________________


OOC 1: Entschuldige Rainer, ich habe nie behauptet dass ich Herr meiner Ängste bin = Sorry Rainer, I never claimed to be master over my fears.
OOC 2: Vergiß nicht, die Türknöpfe und die Toilette zu entseuchen = Don’t forget to disinfect the doorknobs and the toilet.
 

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THE MERCHANT


18 February 1986
Weissenfels, Eiffelland

“I have bad news,” Rainer said after Philipp had closed the door behind him. “Hanno found out about me.”
“What?” Philipp said frightened.
“Lisa and Hanno talked about me the last time Lisa was here. Last week I was at Hanno’s place. He said that Lisa was concerned about me, and then he figured out that I have a boyfriend. I wasn’t able to laugh that away, like I did with Lisa once as she said that I have a second girlfriend.”
“Oh, Scheiße.”
“The story goes a bit further. He didn’t dare to touch the dishes I had used. Because of AIDS.”
“That was what you call a nice evening.”
“Well, he did excuse himself. The day after, we had to train together. It appeared that he had asked information about AIDS at the public health service. Now he’s less afraid. But one other problem remained. Lisa. He wanted me to break up with her.”
“Are you going to do so?” Philipp asked.
“I did so last weekend,” Rainer said. After a pause, he continued. “We decided that I should continue the relationship with Lisa as cover-up for my family. But suppose I continue it after my discussion with Hanno. Then I will have to make quite a lot of effort to prevent Lisa and Hanno from speaking with each other. I can’t do that in a natural way. Both will start digging, and then your cover will be blown as well.”
Philipp looked at Rainer inquiringly.
“Hanno didn’t figure out that you are my boyfriend. I didn’t tell him, either. And I don’t plan to tell him, although he would be trustworthy with that information. I am the only one in the line of fire. And now that I broke up with Lisa, I can convince Hanno not to dig further. And to be very honest, after what has happened during the last 5 months, I cannot marry and pretend that I’m having a happy marriage life after that. That is simply impossible. Let’s hope for Lisa that she finds someone who can, although that will become difficult in my home-village,” Rainer said.
“Why that?”
“In my home-village, people generally get serious relationships quite early. Most people marry with the partner they have at age 17, and marry when they are 20 or 21. I’ll turn 23 next week, and Lisa is 22. That makes her too old for getting a boyfriend there. Furthermore, now she is a spurned woman. That makes it even more difficult.”
“Poor girl. I will see what I can do for her, so that she can start a new life somewhere else, if she wants to,” Philipp said.
“Aren’t you afraid of blowing up your cover then?”
“Sometimes it is advantageous to be a Prince. I can do some things anonymously. Don’t worry about that,” Philipp said while fondling Rainer on his cheek. After a pause, he added while smiling and wrapping his arms around Rainer: “There is one positive aspect of these events. Now I finally don’t have to share you with somebody else.”

“Are you afraid of AIDS?” Rainer asked while lying naked in Philipp’s arms.
“Yes, I am. I am afraid of dying, like everybody. But I don’t know what to do with my fear. This disease attacks on such a sordid place. If you would get it from drinking coffee, everybody would just stop drinking coffee and the story would have been fixed. But it is passed through by making love, the ultimate way to show and receive affection. How do you quit making love? The Church and Morale can say what it wants about that, but it is impossible on the long run to stop making love. At least for by far the most people. Should I marry a woman to avoid AIDS then? I’m awfully sorry but I am what I am. Like you, I can’t marry a woman any more and pretend to have a happy family life. AIDS is something we both have to live with I’m afraid. In any case, meanwhile we slept with each other so often, that if one of us would have been infected, the other one will have been infected as well by now,” Philipp said.
“Maybe you’re right. Anyway, I got some information as well. And I had myself tested on AIDS. I’ll hear the result next week.”
“How did you do that with your health insurance? Your family will see an invoice of it.”
“I paid it cash, from my savings. So no invoice will go to my family.”
“I will see that I do an AIDS test as well. But not here in Eiffelland. I’ll go to Danzig for that.”
“Why there?”
“I don’t have to tell you that Danzigers are only interested in one thing: Money. That also holds for Danziger doctors. Sometimes that comes in handy, especially when Eiffellandians need a discrete abortion or a discrete treatment against venereal diseases. Or in my case, a discrete AIDS test.”


6 August 2010
Augsburg, Wieserreich

Both guys got a negative test result. Years later, Maas realised that they had been extremely lucky. Before he met Prince Philipp, he had been going to cruising areas for quite a long time, and that had never been safe. Philipp hadn’t been a virgin, either.
Now Maas was in Augsburg to close some deals with wine importers. In the evenings, he had time to go out, and so he did. While he did so, he suddenly saw a blonde head he recognised from the pictures in Belmont’s yellow press a month ago and from the Internet. The blonde guy was accompanied by a guy he recognised as one of his brothers and a girl he did not recognise. Maas could see that the blonde guy had paid a lot of attention to his appearance. Because of the white shirt he was wearing (without a single wrinkle, even on the back side) Maas’s first thought was: Give him a pair of wings and he is an angel. Maas decided to follow the group.

______________________________________________________________


OOC: The idea for the following passage of this post was taken from a comic by Ralf König. The way I phrased it might differ from the way Ralf König phrased it. The German title of the comic is Superparadise. Contrary to most of his other comics, that comic book was extremely serious. The topic was, indeed, AIDS:
This disease attacks on such a sordid place. If you would get it from drinking coffee, everybody would just stop drinking coffee and the story would have been fixed. But it is passed through by making love, the ultimate way to show and receive affection. How do you quit making love?
 

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THE PRINCE


6 August 2010
Augsburg, Wieserreich

“My goodness, you two are terrible,” Prince Ludwig said with a complaining tone in his voice after a cascade of vulgar remarks about homosexuality by his brother Prince Karl and the Wieser Archduchess Eleonore. But he wasn’t mad at them. He knew the Archduchess, especially as a girl who liked to annoy just for annoying (a habit he rejected but had learned very quickly to live with). And he knew his brother as well.
Ludwig and Karl were in Augsburg for the celebration of the Wieser Emperor’s 100th birthday. The Eiffellandian Royal Family had arrived two days in advance. Ludwig and Karl had decided to go out and explore the city. While they did so, it appeared that the Wieser Archduchess had escaped from the palace once more. They met her in the center of Augsburg, and decided to go out together. Going from pub to pub, Eleonore showed them the hot spots in the city.

When walking from a pub to a karaoke bar, Ludwig focused on a group of fighting people. As he wanted to intervene, Karl stopped him: “Ludwig, no. Last time you intervened in such a situation you toppled the government, and there are no coalition alternatives left any more. Besides, there is a police patrol round the corner. They will probably solve it.”
After that, they went to a karaoke bar. It appeared that Ludwig and Eleonore had very good voices. They sang a duet together, did some solo performances, and impressed the visitors of the bar, including the Oikawans. Ludwig didn’t even need the texts on the screens, because he knew them by heart.

As Ludwig was standing in front of the bar to get a drink, a man with a glass of whisky in his hand approached him. He was in his late 40s, with black hair becoming grey near the temples and an athletic body. As he stood next to Ludwig, he asked: “Are you Prince Ludwig of Eiffelland?”
“Yes, I am,” Ludwig said, “but who are you?”
“I was the lover of your uncle.”
 

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THE MERCHANT


1 March 1986
Augsburg, Wieserreich

Rainer and Philipp had several reasons to celebrate. The results of their AIDS-tests were in: Both negative. Rainer had also talked with Hanno about the matter. He had told that he had broken up with Lisa, and had told about the negative AIDS-test. Everything was good between the two friends again. Rainer had asked Hanno not to inquire about Rainer’s boyfriend, and Hanno had agreed with that. All in all, it was not only mutual love that made this weekend special.

Rainer had seen snow a few times in his life, but he was surprised to see it in the beginning of March. But that was the case in Augsburg. In the beginning of March 1986, the snow was still lying on the streets there. Rainer was also freezing. Philipp watched that with a bit of irony, but was fast with offering body heat. Apart from the cold, Rainer enjoyed Augsburg a lot. It was a beautiful city, and there was enough to do and see. Going out was also a pleasure. The people in the bars and discos were nice, and the Wieser beers were good.


3 March 1986
Weissenfels, Eiffelland

Rainer heard the “beeeep – beeeep” through the telephone horn as he called his parents. He had seen the note on his door as he entered his room the night before, after he came back from the airport. His mother had called last Saturday, and yesterday as well. Now he was thinking up an excuse why he hadn’t called.
“Frau Maas,” he heard his mother’s voice through the horn.
“Hello Mum, it’s Rainer,” he said.
“Hello Rainer, what happened? I called you twice, last Saturday, yesterday, but you didn’t call back. I was extremely worried.”
“Sorry Mum, I haven’t seen the note until now. I don’t know why. I was so busy this weekend.”
“Where were you? Your housemate told that your car was gone as well.”
“I went to a birthday party outside Weissenfels last Saturday. And yesterday I had to get someone from the airport, so I went to class by car both days. After I took him home, he invited me in, and we talked quite a lot.”
“But you could have called yesterday morning before going to class.”
“Like I said, Mum, I hadn’t seen the note. Sorry that I made you worried.”
“Well, OK. I called for the following. Could you take your suit with you next weekend? We will visit Grandfather and Grandmother Gruber for Grandfather’s birthday.”
“OK, I will do so.”
“Thanks. Don’t forget it.”
“No I won’t.”
“Oh, it’s so pity that you broke up with Lisa. Se feels so sad about it. She is even preparing to leave from here. Why did you break up? She was the perfect match for you, and you were so happy together.”
“I told you mum, it didn’t work between us any more. Maybe now she feels sad, but it will be better for both of us on the long run.”
“How can you say that? How can you be better off alone?”
“Like I said, it didn’t work between us any more. Maybe it looked nice from the outside, but it didn’t work any more, at least not for me. Believe me, it is better for both Lisa and me. Now we can both find someone who suits us better.”
“You had been together for 6 years, and you were such a lovely pair. How can you say that it suddenly doesn’t work any more?”
“Mum, there are relationships and even marriages that don’t work any more even after a longer time. Things just go like that. And it went like that with Lisa and me.”
“I consider that weak. Do you think dad and I never had our difficult moments? But we worked on it and came out better. That is how you keep a relationship and a marriage good.”
“Mum, it won’t work with Lisa. And I don’t want to talk about it any more.”
“Weak of you, but OK. See you next Friday then.”
“See you next Friday.”

Rainer cursed after he hung up the phone. Since he broke up with Lisa, his mother just wouldn’t stop talking about her. When he was at home during the weekends, his mother continuously steered the conversation to Lisa. She just didn’t want to understand that it was over. To be honest, it had never started for Rainer. He had been playing a role for 6 years. He might have continued to play that role if Philipp wouldn’t have come into his life, but when looking at it now, he doubted very much if he would have been happy in the marriage with Lisa he would have landed in. And now it was impossible for him to marry her.


29 March 1986
Paris, Belmont

Both Philipp and Rainer had had heavy quarrels with their families as they told that they would not come home for Easter. Very heavy quarrels. But they had pushed it through, and now they were in Paris. Philipp had rented a holiday apartment for the complete Easterweekend, so now they weren’t bound to the rhythm of a hotel. They made breakfast for each other, cooked for each other and enjoyed the city. The apartment appeared to even have a whirlpool, in which the two guys enjoyed quite some hours.
Today it was Holy Saturday. The daffodils grew exuberantly, and the weather was fantastic. Philipp and Rainer walked through the city and in the parks. In the evening, they decided to go to an Easter Vigil in a local church. After that, they went out in Paris’s pubs and discos, and watched the sun rise above the city while standing in each other’s arms on the roof of an apartment building. “Happy Easter,” they said to each other, and kissed.


4 September 2010
Trier, Eiffelland

Eastern 1986 in Paris. At that time, En amour by Celine Dion was extremely popular there. It was played enormously often on the radio and in every disco, and there was always somebody who dialled the song on the jukeboxes in the pubs. Now Maas was sitting in a grand-café near the Fernsehturm in Trier, the first time in 25 years that he was back in his mothercountry. Now they were playing Running with the night by Lionel Richie. Maas still remembered the clip of that song. He had concluded out of that clip that it was about a forbidden love-affair. Like his relationship with the brother of the current King of Eiffelland.
Maas was here because he had an appointment with Prince Ludwig. As they met in Augsburg, it was a bit difficult for the Prince to talk further with him, but he insisted on meeting him again once. So Maas decided to plan a holiday week in Eiffelland. There would be enough to see for him.

Around the time they had agreed upon, Maas saw the Prince walking to the café, holding hands with a maroon-haired guy. They kissed each other on the cheeks before the Prince entered the café and went to Maas.

“The fountains in front of the Fernsehturm are still the same as when I saw them 25 years ago, but the Alexanderplatz changed a lot. And a lot of other things have changed in this country since I left,” Maas said after they had greeted each other and Prince Ludwig had ordered a capuccino. “We had to keep everything secret, and you can kiss your boyfriend in public.”
“I heard that Eiffelland was already quite tolerant to gays in the 1980s, but I know why you had to keep it secret. I know my grandfather, and I also experienced that we Royals live in a house made of glass,” Ludwig said.
“The bigger cities were indeed tolerant in those days, but the countryside still wasn’t. I was born in the countryside, in a family of wine-growers. If you were gay, you had a hard time in those societies of peasants. Plus I was born into an extremely religious family. I had a girlfriend as cover-up. You already mentioned your grandfather, so indeed Philipp had to cover it as well.”
“You just saw me enjoying my freedom, but I know how it is when you have to hide parts of yourself. I had the same fears as Uncle Philipp had. I didn’t dare to find out if I would get the support of my parents against my grandfather. Because of that, I stayed in the closet, like Uncle Philipp and you.”
“And now? How did you get out of the closet?”
“I found out that I would get my parents’ and my brothers’ support against my grandfather, so it became safe to make the step. And now my boyfriend is welcome at the palace, even at my grandfather’s palace. But when we are in my grandfather’s neighbourhood, we keep ourselves in check. It is already a big step for a man like him to tolerate my boyfriend. Why would it be needed to irritate him? To change his views? He isn’t in charge any more. His views don’t harm any more. Then it’s better to use my energy for the cases in which it matters. But now I’m talking about myself. How did you experience it all?”
“It was indeed difficult to us. You know how it feels. But it also gave us extra understanding for each other, because of the shared fate. The fact that our love was forbidden also made it extra exciting, especially when we travelled abroad so that we could occasionally spend the night together.”
“How was your life with my uncle?”
Maas started to tell.
 

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6 May 1986
Weissenfels, Eiffelland

Wenn Träume wie Lichter schweben
Wenn wir diesen Traum erleben
Wir beide, tausendmal ich, tausendmal du

Iich liebe dich, Philipp,” Rainer said while lying naked in Philipp’s arms.
Ich liebe dich auch,” Philipp said.
They were lying on Philipp’s bed and were listening to the radio. The window was open, and the evening sounds of the courtyard came in. It was a warm and cloudless evening after a warm day. Families were sitting in their gardens. The sunset had been magnificent. But Rainer and Philipp hadn’t noticed that. They had gone to the bedroom directly after Philipp had closed the door behind Rainer, and had made love until just minutes ago. When Rainer entered the house, the sun was still shining. Now it was perfectly dark. Clothing was lying all over the floor, and the sheets on the bed were a mess. A song by a Frankener band was played.

Ich schau in deine Augen
Dein Geheimnis kann nur ich verstehn
Und ich fühle die Sehnsucht in mir
So wie du

Ich spüre deine wärme
Und ich glaub, in dir zu vergehn
Und ich liebe das Fieber in mir
So wie du

Suddenly, Rainer and Philipp heard the front door of the house being opened. Foot steps sounded from the hall, and the door was closed.
“Is that your servant?” Rainer asked.
“I can’t imagine that. He never returns before midnight on Tuesdays,” Philipp answered.
“One of the guards then?”
“But why would they get in like that?”
Philipp stood up, walked to the door, and asked loudly: “Who is there?”
A voice sounded: “Philipp!”
Scheiße,” Philipp said. “Mein Vater. In den Schrank. Schnell.” And Rainer jumped into the closet.

While he stood there, he heard two voices, one angry, one nervous. The two voices neared the bedroom, and entered it.
“No, Philipp, you won’t let me believe that your ‘judopartner’ just left. Especially not because his cloths are lying here,” the angry voice said.
“What are you talking about? Those are my cloths,” Philipp’s voice said.
“You have always kept your room tidy, and now I see a messy bedroom. Furthermore, I see two pairs of pants, two pairs of socks, two pairs of trousers and two T-shirts. Two sets of cloths. I know very well what that means. Even worse, I see two sets of men cloths. I also know what that implicates. One of the worst sins we know … Sodomy … But we will talk about that later. Your ‘judopartner’ is still here. Let’s check out the closets, because those are the classic places where people jump into when they suddenly have to hide,” the angry voice said.

Closet doors were opened and closed, and then the closet door behind which Rainer hode was opened. Rainer looked into the face of Philipp’s father, the King of Eiffelland. Everybody in the room remained silent, while the King looked at Rainer, from his face to his toes and back to his face, then again to his toes and back to his face. Meanwhile, Rainer had noticed that Philipp had put on a bathrobe.

The King looked Rainer in his face for a minute. Then he said: “So this is your ‘judopartner’.” Then to Rainer: “What’s your name?”
“Rainer Maas,” Rainer answered confused.
“Rainer Maas, your Majesty. Get dressed and leave the house. If I ever see you in the neighbourhood of my son again, I will ruin your career.”

Rainer got dressed as in a trance, while the King watched him doing so. Then he left. The King even didn’t give him the opportunity to say goodbye to Philipp. But he realised that he would never see Philipp again.


8 May 1986
100 km from Weissenfels, Eiffelland

“Rainer, you are so silent. What’s wrong?” one of Rainer’s friends asked.
“Nothing. What should there be wrong?” he replied.

It was Ascension Day. Like it was tradition in the countryside of Germanic countries, the men went out into the fields while partying and drinking. Also Rainer. He had driven to his home-village to go into the fields with his friends there. Normally, he would enjoy something like that. But now he was thinking about the events of two days ago, and about the implications.
During the last year, Philipp had become the guy he lived for. But Philipp had been dragged out of his life. In the back of his head, Rainer had always known that something like that could happen. Either Philipp’s or his own family could have found out, and then it would have been over. The question was not if, but when it would become known. And if not, then it would be a matter of time before the pressure of the family to marry would become too high. It was impossible that it would last “until death us parth”. But Rainer had never really thought about it. He had enjoyed each and every moment with Philipp, never thinking about the Sword of Damocles hanging above both guys’s heads.

Actually, Rainer wanted to get drunk as hell. He wanted to pour as much beer, wine and schnaps into his mouth as he could swallow, until his bowels would rip open. But he didn’t dare to do so. He wanted to stay in control, before he would say something he didn’t want to say. It was still important to hide his homosexuality, so he also had to hide what was hurting him. And that cost him the fun of this day. Ascension Day 1986 was a torture: Pretending to have fun while your feelings had been torn apart, under a hard blue sky and a burning sun, walking through the fields, seeing the blossoms on the vines and in the trees, and the flowers in the fields. Nature did its best to make clear to Rainer how beautiful it could be. In the same way as Faith (or maybe God? The Devil) had shown him how happy life could be, just only to take the fundament of his happiness away and tell him with a grin: “But not for you.”


22 May 1986
Near Weissenfels, Eiffelland

Rainer had got a letter from Philipp:

Go to Parkplatz Marienborn at the A16 Weissenfels–Lübeck next Thursday. Be there at 19:00 hour. I don’t know how late I will be there, because I have to get rid of my guards first. If I’m not there at 20:00 hour, then leave.

Now he was standing at Parkplatz Marienborn, waiting for Philipp to come. At 7:30, he saw Philipp’s Porsche arrive. The day had been sultry hot, and the sky was cloudy. Thunderstorm weather was hanging in the air.
After Philipp had stopped his car, he got out, walked to Rainer, started to kiss him, and pulled him into the woods. “Let’s make love, now, here, on the ground,” he said…

“My father is forcing me into a marriage,” Philipp said after they had dressed again. “With an extremely dumb girl. She is unmarryable, and not without a reason.”
“And what now?” Rainer asked.
“If I don’t marry her, my father will expel me out of the family.”
“Let him do so. Then you move to me.”
“It’s not that easy. Your room will be the first place where he will look. And don’t underestimate the influence of my family. We won’t get jobs in Eiffelland, and it might become difficult outside Eiffelland as well. Fleeing is impossible. Wherever we go, our identities will be found out sooner or later. There is no way out. I have to marry the bitch. I have to say goodbye to you. I have to say goodbye to love and happiness.”
“It’s not that dramatic, Philipp. I have enough money for the two of us to flee the country, and maybe you can get some money somewhere as well. We can go everywhere we want. Maybe it will be difficult at first, but we can manage it.”
“No, Rainer. Our faces are known. In whichever way we flee the country, my father will find us. And it might become really nasty for you then, because you will be accused of having kidnapped me. And then you’ll spend the rest of your life in the coal mines for high-treason. I love you too much to let that happen. I leave you now because I love you.”

Five minutes later, Philipp’s Porsche drove away from the resting place. Rainer stayed for a while. He couldn’t drive, because of his tears. “Don’t cry for me,” Philipp had said, but Rainer couldn’t help it. After half an hour, he had himself under control again. He drove away as well.

Before the bridge over the Rhine, all traffic was directed off the right track. It appeared that a car had driven off the bridge. The next day, Rainer would learn that it had been Philipp’s car. And he would immediately realise that it was a suicide. Years later, after a cascade of broken relationships, he would realise that Philipp was his only love. And he would continue making himself reproaches about why he hadn’t tried harder to persuade Philipp to flee with him. No matter how difficult it would have become, they would have managed to get out of it.


OOC: The songtexts are from the song Tausend mal du by Münchener Freiheit.

Translation first text:
When dreams float like lights
When this dream comes true
The two of us, 1000 times me, 1000 times you

Translation second and third text:
I look into your eyes
Only I can understand your secret
And I feel the yearning in me
Like you do

I feel your warmth
And I believe to dissolve in you
And I love the fever in me
Like you do.
 

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6 September 2010
Trier, Eiffelland

Student life in Weissenfels. Pubs and discos in Weissenfels. Parks in Weissenfels. Weekends in Danzig, Emyn Arnen, Nürnberg, Augsburg, Fond-du-Loc. Eastern in Paris. Seeing the sun rise above Paris. Standing naked behind a closet door, which was pulled open by an angry man in his fifties. An enormous quarrel. The plane taking him out of Eiffelland.

Maas still thought a lot about his last year in Eiffelland. It was the best year of his life, but ended as the biggest disaster of his life. He had never planned to return to Eiffelland, but coincidence had brought him into contact with the family of the guy who turned out to be his only love. And the family who played a major role in the disasters coming over him later on. Prince Ludwig had brought him into contact with his father, the King of Eiffelland, who invited him for an audience at the Palace, in the evening of 6 September. Now he was going there.

He was also still wondering about Prinice Ludwig. Coincidence was not allowed to play a role concerning his clothes and looks, but he moved and behaved in a really natural way. He was an extremely beautiful guy (although too young for Maas’s taste), but it seemed that he didn’t realise that. Maas had the impression that Ludwig was an enormous heartbreaker without realising it. He had looked for similarities between Ludwig and his uncle. There were some, but also some clear differences. Maas had the impression that Ludwig would never approach a boy the way Philipp approached Maas 25 years ago.


31 May 1986
100km from Weissenfels, Eiffelland

Rainer was mad. Extremely mad. Mad at his mother. She had arranged a meeting with Lisa. “You are so sad since a couple of weeks. That must be because of lack of love. I told you, a man can’t live without a woman. And you are too old to be a bachelor,” she had said. And now he was on his way to Lisa. Indeed, his problems were related with love. But the fact that your lover had died 10 days ago and that you couldn’t go to the funeral was something else than missing the love of a woman. Drecksweib, he thought, while driving too fast over the countryroads. He made a detour on the way to Lisa, hoping that he would be able to calm himself down. On a certain moment, he stopped the car, stepped out, and gave an enormous kick to a wooden fence, spraining his ankle. Then he stepped back in the car, and drove to Lisa.

“Hi Rainer,” Lisa said as she opened the door.
“Hi,” Rainer replied as he walked in. “How are things going for you?”
“Well, better, but I still miss you. I haven’t seen you for a long time, and I was happy as your mother arranged this date.”

Oh no, Rainer thought, she’s still in love with me. Scheisse. How am I going to get it into her head that it won’t work?

“By the way, something so strange happened a few weeks after you quitted the relationship. I got a letter with a check worth 50,000 Mark. And it was real. I put the money on a savings account. Not here of course, people would have started to gossip about it. I went to Weissenfels for that,” Lisa continued.

Philipp had said that he would do something for her, but that’s not something any more, Rainer thought, with that money, she would have come quite far when she would want to start a new life. But why didn’t she do so? Why did she stick to this place, without a future for her? Does she think she’ll get hooked up by one of the doctors in the hospital?

“Whow, that’s an enormous amount,” Rainer said. “Use it prudently.”
“Oh, Rainer, I’m so happy that I see you again,” Lisa said while wrapping her arms around Rainer and trying to kiss him.
“Hoho, Lisa, let’s not overhurry things,” Rainer said while avoiding the kiss. “Sorry, but this all goes a bit too fast for me. My mother arranged this, but I’m not really ready for it yet.”
“Oh, I thought you wanted this as well,” Lisa said.
“We must see if it can work again,” Rainer said, “how about going to the cinema tonight? When I drove through Olpe, I saw that that new Marquetten movie is played in the cinema there. Let’s watch it.”
“OK,” Lisa said.

“You’re driving so fast,” Lisa said on the way back, “you never did so before you quitted.”
“Am I?” Rainer asked.
“It’s tempo 70 here, and you’re doing 100,” Lisa said.
“Indeed, you’re right. Scheisse!!

There was a hind on the road. Rainer kicked on the brake pedal, turned the lights of the car off and the emergency flaBaghas on, and managed to stop the car just before the hind. Then he got out of the car and chased the hind away. The smell of burned rubber was everywhere. When Rainer stepped back into the car, he noticed that Lisa’s face had turned completely pale.

“Do you remember the funeral of my uncle Martin 2 years ago? He died in a car accident. Exactly on this road,” Lisa said. After a pause, she asked: “Rainer, what’s going on with you?”
Rainer remained silent.
“You’re not yourself any more. And you’re extremely petulant. It is clear that you’re working off your emotions. Not only on the gas pedal. What-is-going on?” Lisa asked.
Rainer remained silent.
“What is so horrible that you can’t tell me or your best friend?” Lisa asked.
Then she started to fondle Rainer’s shoulder. The abrupt move by Rainer’s shoulder away from her hand frightened her. Then Rainer started to yell, which frightened her even more.
“I’m gay, for Christ’s sake. Do you know what that means, gay? That means that I fall for guys. And that’s why it won’t work between us, verdammt noch mal,” he screamed. Then he realised what he just had said. “Oh, scheisse.” After a pause, he said to Lisa: “I’ll drive you home.” Then he started to drive again.

When Lisa stepped out of the car in front of her house, Rainer said: “Don’t tell anybody about it, OK?” While knowing that the gossiptomtom would start to sound anyway. Lisa’s promise to not tell about it wasn’t worth much. Such promises were never worth much in a small village.


2 June 1986
100km from Weissenfels, Eiffelland

“1000, 2000, 3000, 4000, 5000, 6000, 7000, 8000, 9000, 10,000, 11,000, 11,200, 11,250, 11,270, 11,272, and 56 Pfennige. This is the money from your bank account: 500, 700, 800, 810, 815, 816, and 32 Pfennige. Should I put it into an envelope?”
“Yes please.”

Rainer realised very well what would await him next weekend. He also knew that his father would have his bank accounts blocked. That would have been easy in such a small village. Everybody knew everybody, and everybody was in the only skittle club in the village. So the bank director would have cooperated with pleasure, although that would have been illegal. And because of that, Rainer considered it unsafe to first open a bank account in Weissenfels and then call the bank in his home-village to have the money transferred, because the transfer could be blocked as well. Therefore, he wanted it cash. Now he was at the bank in his home village to take up all his money and close the bank accounts. He would open a new bank account in Weissenfels and put the money there.
 

Rheinbund

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THE MERCHANT


6 June 1986
Olpe, 80km from Weissenfels, Eiffelland

Rainer had expected a telephone call from his parents last week, but strangely enough they didn’t call. Meanwhile, they should have heard from the bank director that he had taken up all his money and closed all his accounts in his home village. Meanwhile, Lisa should have started talking. Meanwhile, the gossips should have reached his parents. Why didn’t they call then?
He had just left the motorway and was driving through Olpe to go to his home village. When he saw a gas station, he went there to tank.

Hey, Schwuli.

Rainer was frightened. He had just paid for the gasoline and was walking back to the car. He turned his face to the direction where the invective had come from, and saw Lisa’s brother together with two other guys.

“When looking back, we all could have known that you’re a queer. You’ve always been a pussy,” Lisa’s brother said. After a pause, he continued. “According to Lisa, you were lousy in bed.” Rainer realised that he wouldn’t be able to unlock his car and jump into it to flee on time, so he awaited the events. Lisa’s brother continued: “But worst of all, you betrayed her. You were dating her while at the same time having affairs with guys. You got AIDS and passed it on to my sister.”
“That’s a lie,” Rainer said. “I had myself tested and I’m negative.”
“Why should I believe you? You deserve to get beaten up, so we’re going to do so. But in such a way that we won’t get AIDS from you,” Lisa’s brother said while he and his mates put on rubber gloves.
OK, so after all those training fights, this one’s for real, Rainer thought when he saw the 3 guys running to him.

Rainer managed to win the fight, but broke his nose. After the fight, he licked the blood running out of his nose from his upper lip, mixed it in his mouth with some saliva, bent over to Lisa’s brother, and said: “So you are afraid of AIDS? Here. Enjoy it.” And he spit the mixture of saliva and blood into Lisa’s brother’s eye.

Rainer drove to the hospital in Olpe to have his nose treated, and then drove to his parents’ house. His mother opened the door when he arrived.
“What happened?” she asked frightened when she saw him with his nose bandaged.
“I was attacked by Lisa’s brother when I tanked in Olpe,” Rainer told. “I needed to go to the hospital to have my nose treated.”
His mother nodded her head. “Does it hurt?” she asked.
“Less than it did at first. Where are Dad and Helmut?”
“Dad is at the skittle club, together with Grandfather and Grandmother. Helmut is still underway from the military base. By the way, Grandfather and Grandmother Gruber will visit us tomorrow, and also the complete Maas family.”
How nice, I will be butchered in public, Rainer thought. He knew what his mother meant with a family meeting. He would not only have to face his parents and younger brother, but his grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins as well. The son and heir would be dethroned in the most dramatic way possible. He was the oldest person of his generation in the Maas family, and he would be judged and executed as an example so that the remainder of his generation would continue to act as was expected. Rainer felt sorry for one of his cousins. He had already sensed that the latter was gay as well.
He also knew that the skittle season was over, but he didn’t ask further. He realised that his father and grandparents didn’t want to see him now. But what was his mother’s position? Why was she here to welcome him? Was it mother love? Or had she just been chosen to do the dirty work?


7 June 1986
100km from Weissenfels, Eiffelland

The sky was clear blue, the sun was shining, and it was warm. A perfect day for a garden party. But that was not why the family gathered together in the garden. And partying was not what the family would do that day. Grandfather and Grandmother Maas sat behind the garden table. Also Rainer’s parents sat there.

Rainer’s grandfather started to talk. “Unnatural, despiccable, and against the Laws of God and the Church. That is how you behaved, Rainer. In Weissenfels, you practiced one of the worst sins possible, a sin I don’t dare to speak out. Here, in your home-village, you played the decent guy and even had a relationship with a girl to cover your sins for our eyes. You even slept with her, before your marriage. And with that, you willingly exposed her to what should be considered God’s punishment for the unspeakable sin. What do you have to say about that? How do you want to repair your deeds?”
Rainer thought about the night with Philipp, when he was chased out of the house by the King. Wenn Träume wie Lichter schweben, wenn wir diesen Traum erleben, wir beide, tausendmal ich, tausendmal du. When Philipp was still alive.
Some of the younger people started to giggle softly when Grandfather spoke about the “unspeakable sin”.
“Indeed, the way I treated, in fact used, Lisa was bad. I hope she will forgive me once. But in fact you forced me to do so. You want me to live a life that would make me sad, and you despise the life that would make me happy. I am what I am. I can’t change myself. Why do you want me to live a life that will make me sad?” Rainer replied.
“How do you know that ‘the life we want you to live’ would make you sad? You didn’t try it out. And you didn’t do anything to let it function, either. You just walked away to your sinful life,” Grandmother said. “Grandfather and I have been living with each other for 50 years. It wasn’t always easy, but we worked on it. That is why our marriage remained good.”
“And I can’t imagine that the life of sin you have in mind will make you happy,” Rainer’s mother added. “Can’t you take joy out of the fact that you live a life according to God’s design?”
“A good God will understand that a man who falls for men won’t be happy in His design, and then He will accept that such a man will live with a man,” Rainer said.
“This is almost blasphemy,” Grandfather said.
“The only way to repair what you did to Lisa, is to marry her,” Rainer’s father said.
“Do you really think she will want to marry me after I told her that I am gay?” Rainer asked. “And to be very honest, I don’t want to become family of the guy who passed me this.” And he pointed at his bandaged nose. His cousins giggled loudly after that.
“In any case, we don’t want you to live a sinful life,” Rainer’s mother said.

The discussion went on for an hour. Rainer became angrier and angrier. Just two weeks ago, his lover died. He had to follow the funeral via the television. The only way he could honour Philipp was by contributing to the memorial wreath spent by the introduction group Philipp had been part of and Rainer had led. He had burst into tears when Hanno had asked him to organise it. Hanno had comforted him, while Rainer thought if only you knew. And now he had to defend himself before his parents and grandparents, while the whole family watched.
The idea of him marrying Lisa had already been dropped, but now his grandparents and parents were forcing him to live a life in celibacy. Of course Rainer refused that. Later on, he would think that he could have agreed to that. After Philipp, he wouldn’t find the real love anyway. Then he wouldn’t have been thrown out of the family. On the other hand, Lisa’s brother’s behaviour had made him clear that he wouldn’t be able to live a normal life in his home-village any more.

“So you want to persist in your sin,” his father said after Rainer had made clear that he didn’t want to live in celibacy because the family wanted to. “Rainer, like Grandfather said, what you did, is despiccable. You destroyed our name in the village. We would want to forgive you, but you want to continue your life in sin.” He took the book with the family tree and flipped through the pages until he reached the last page with names on it. “Do what you want, but no longer as part of our family.” And he stroke Rainer’s name out of the family tree.

Rainer still had some belongings in his ancestral home. He packed them in his old Beetle together with his clothes, started the engine and drove off the family vineyard for the last time in his life. He drove through his home-village, through Olpe, and took the motorway to Weissenfels.


14 July 1986
Weissenfels, Eiffelland

Rainer considered it logical that the recent events would have an impact on his study results, but such an impact? He had failed all his exams. His work hadn’t been that bad. He decided to request insight in all his exams. But then he heard footsteps of leather shoes behind him.

“Rainer Maas,” a voice said. “What have you done?”

Rainer turned around. He saw one of the professors.

“It came from a very high level. You won’t get your graduation here. You won’t get your graduation anywhere in Eiffelland, in whichever subject. Protest as much as you want, maybe you will get justice and a graduation, but it won’t help you any further, because nobody will give you a job. The complete academic world has been closed for you.”

That night, Rainer decided to book a one-way ticket out of Eiffelland and see what he could achieve abroad.
 

Rheinbund

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THE MERCHANT


6 September 2010
Trier, Eiffelland

“Good evening, Mr. Maas,” the King said after Maas had been shown into his office and the latter had made the bow demanded by the protocol. “Have a seat. Do you want anything to drink?”
“Yes please, a red wine,” Maas said. Despite the reason why he was here, and despite the fact that he was at an audience with a King, he remained a man of his profession. Now that he was in the Royal Palace of Eiffelland, he would take the opportunity to test the Royal Wine Cellar.
The lackey pulled the cork out of the bottle, poored in a glass for Maas and the King, and left the room. Maas was a little bemused when he saw it. Among wine connaisseurs and Eiffellandians, it was widely known that the Eiffellandian wine companies never used screw caps to close their bottles; instead, they sticked to corks, although they used alternative materials for their corks more and more. Eiffellandians would never buy wine with screw caps, either. Maas had lived outside Eiffelland for 25 years, and he had witnessed that outside Eiffelland also the better winehouses were more and more using screw caps to close their bottles. Only the bottles to be exported to Eiffelland were closed with corks.

After both men had toasted, the King started to talk.
“I never thought that I would meet the boyfriend of my brother once,” he said. “I’m glad that I have the opportunity now. There are lots of things we have to discuss”
“Did you know that Philipp was gay?” Maas asked.
“Only after his death,” the King said. “Did you know that Philipp kept a diary? I found it while cleaning up his apartment,” he continued after he saw Maas’s surprised face expression.
“Did you read it?”
“Yes, I did. And so I know about your relationship. Philipp loved you dearly. I also know what my father did. Did you know that Philipp’s death was a suicide?”
“We met each other for the last time on the day he died. We even made love on that day. He didn’t tell that he wanted to commit suicide. He only told that he had been forced to marry a girl he hated. I proposed him to flee with me, but he refused. He said that I would be arrested as a kidnapper, meaning that I would be convicted for high treason. But how do you know that it was a suicide?”
“Philipp described his suicide plans in his diary.”

Maas remained silent. He had to process the things he just heard. Philipp described his suicide plans in his diary, but didn’t tell anything about it when they saw each other on that last day.

It was the King who broke the silence.

“What you tell about your last moments with Philipp, indicates that he explicitly wanted to live. What an enormous waste of a young life,” he said. “This could have been solved in such a simple way. Why didn’t he come to me? Or to my mother? My father would never have managed to overrule my mother, me and my sisters together. Philipp’s position may have seemed dramatic, but it was solvable. And maybe your parents would have been lenient to you as well, when they would realise that the boyfriend of their son was a Prince of Eiffelland.”
“Would that really have been so easy? Now you’re looking at 1986 with the ideas you have in 2010.”
“I can assure you that my sisters, my mother and I didn’t have a problem with homosexuality back then. Only my father looked at it differently.”
“And now?”
“That situation hasn’t changed much. My father still has a problem with it, but tolerates Ludwig’s homosexuality. But I must say that we never talked about homosexuality in the family. Furthermore, my father was extremely authoritarian and extremely religious. That together could have caused Philipp’s fear for a coming out in front of us.”
After a while, Maas asked: “Didn’t you really notice anything with Philipp?”
“He was a different person than I am. More rebellious, more a draufgänger. Also quite impatient from time to time. He and my father often quarreled. But to be honest, I never had the idea that he was gay. I read it in his diary, when it was too late.”
“Who else knows about it?”
“My wife and I read the diary. Ludwig as well, when he found it in the basement of Schönhausen, where we lived back then. I told my other sons and Princess Laura about it. My father told my mother.”
“You are talking about Philipp’s diary. May I read it?”
“Of course. Here it is.” And Maas started to read.

After some hours, he was ready. Then he started to tell, after the King had asked about it.

“I didn’t know about that,” the King said after Maas had told about the reason why he had left Eiffelland. “I am sorry about that. Is there anything I can do to repay the damage?”
“Money isn’t my problem, Your Majesty. My problem is that my only love has been taken away from me. I did have relationships afterwards, but it never worked. I’m still loving Philipp.”
Sie armer Mann,” the King said.

“Well, like I promised, I have investigated what happened to certain people you asked about,” the King said at the end of the audience. “First about your family. Your father bought one of the neighbouring vineyards 15 years ago, and the combination is doing extremely well. Your younger brother took over from your father 2 years ago. He married Eugenie Möncke, a girl from your village. They have a son and two daughters. The son is currently prepared to inherit the vineyard.”
Maas wasn’t surprised. His brother had always wanted to become a wine-grower himself. He would probably have welcomed the fact that his older brother had fallen off the pedestal. Eugenie Möncke was already Helmut’s girlfriend when Maas was thrown out of the family, so Helmut followed the principles of his home-village.
“Your parents are still alive, and surprisingly, your grandparents are still alive as well.”
That was indeed surprising. On the one hand. On the other hand, all his family members had died at extremely old ages. Maas was already studying when he buried his last greatgrandmother.
“Your whole family stayed in Seppenrade, or went back after service and study. Except one of your cousins, Tobias. After his civil service, he moved to Trier to study, and stayed afterwards. He is currently a barrister, and has his own practice together with a female friend of his. He and his long-year boyfriend married this year, as one of the first gay couples to marry.”
Maas wasn’t surprised. He had already sensed that Alfred was gay back then. And apparently he was right. Would the family have come to Trier to celebrate the marriage? Maas thought it had not.
“Your ex-girlfriend Lisa moved to Marburg a few months after you left Eiffelland. She started to work in a hospital there, and got a relationship with one of the assistant-doctors. After the latter obtained his licence in general surgery, they moved to the coast of Sauerland. They have three daughters. Lisa’s brother took over their father’s firm in agricultural machines. He is married, but has no children.”
Apparently that kick in his balls I passed him during that last fight had made him infertile, Maas thought.
“I have bad news about your friend Hanno Gaetano. He married his girlfriend after he finished his studies, and moved to Köln to work for a firm there. They got a daughter and a son, but Hanno died of a brain tumor 13 years ago. I’m sorry to tell you.”
Maas was shocked about this. When he left Eiffelland, he did so in silence. He didn’t say goodbye to anyone, not even to Hanno, not even to his house mates. He just cancelled the rent, sold everything he couldn’t take with him, and left. Apart from Philipp, Hanno was the most important person of his student life. Maas had always regretted that he hadn’t said goodbye to Hanno, but now he regretted that even more.
“So now all the people who were important to me in my happiest days are gone,” Maas said.

“You couldn’t be at the funeral,” the King said, “but we can go to the Royal Tomb together. Do you have any plans tomorrow evening?”
“No, not really,” Maas said.
“Then we will go to the Royal Tomb together tomorrow, if you want to.”
Maas accepted the invitation.
 
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