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Anna's Diary

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Jun 13, 2007
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My name is Anna Hoshina and I’ve decided to keep a diary.

I came to this decision whilst sitting in a private hospital ward, waiting for my grandfather to die. If you’ve ever waited for someone to die, then you’ll appreciate that it can be an extremely tedious process, particularly when you’re almost totally indifferent to the person doing the dying. The reason for my indifference is complicated and not something that I’m keen to share at this particular moment, but I may well return to it on a later occasion.

I suppose I should begin by telling you a little about myself, enough so that you can at least picture me. I’m a tall, charismatic man in military uniform, an ancient Oikawan sword at my hip. It belonged to the last Shogun of Oikawa, a distant relative of mine, and I wear it with pride...a true leader of men, confident that the spirits of my illustrious ancestors are gazing down upon me approvingly.

Just don’t bother looking for someone answering that description here! Most people have an idea of themselves that doesn’t quite match what others see and I’m no exception…the gap between self-image and reality is just a little wider than usual in my case.

I’m actually the little girl in the old-fashioned black dress…yes, the one that isn’t wearing a samurai sword but does have ribbons in her hair. The older man sitting beside me, whose hand I’m holding, is the president of Walstadt, Karl Drosselmeyer…my Uncle Karl. He’s not really my uncle though; he’s actually my mother’s cousin. He’s also my husband, but before you get the wrong idea, I should point out that I’m actually rather older than I look. I was already nineteen when I learned that my condition has a name- growth hormone deficiency- and is relatively straightforward to treat. Unfortunately for me, my insane grandfather (the other one) would never let me see a doctor and so for most of my life I genuinely believed that I was cursed to remain a child forever. Of course, none of this explains what dear ‘Uncle Karl’ sees in me...!

Poor Uncle Karl…he has the head for politics but not the stomach for it. He once admitted to me that he had always wanted to write children’s stories, but his uncle, my grandfather, insisted that he enter public life instead. It’s difficult to believe that he’s survived as president for over a decade, but then again grandfather was always the one pulling the strings.

Now he has to face a future without grandfather’s hand on his shoulder and frankly, it terrifies him. Uncle Karl is desperate for a way out but his colleagues won’t let him resign because after the fiasco of 1988-92, no one wants to rock the boat. And that’s where I come in. Fortunately for everyone concerned, I’m made of sterner stuff…and so when grandfather finally decides to leave us, there are going to be some changes around here!
 
Joined
Jun 13, 2007
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Grandfather died at a quarter-to-eleven in the evening.

I have my first real inkling of the difficulties ahead only a couple of hours later, on our way home from the hospital. Although we are both tired out Uncle Karl has managed to maintain his composure this far, but the moment the car door closes behind us the floodgates open and he breaks down completely on the back seat.

Fortunately our regular driver has the presence of mind to pull away before anyone can see what is going on, which is just as well as Uncle Karl is sobbing uncontrollably on my shoulder! I try to comfort him but I’m not the most sympathetic of people at the best of times and at half-passed-one in the morning I’m rarely at my best, particularly when I’m slowly being crushed. By now he is clutching me so tightly that it is beginning to hurt and is too busy whimpering to hear my complaints, so eventually I punch him in the nose. “Annichen!” he exclaims in a hurt voice, releasing my arm at last, but my patience is utterly exhausted so just I throw my handkerchief in his face and tell him to clean himself up in case there are any reporters waiting outside our home.

I realise then that Uncle Karl is a broken reed and may have to be replaced sooner than anticipated.
 
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After a few meagre hours sleep, we’re back in the Rathaus. Uncle Karl has gone off to chair an emergency meeting of the cabinet, whilst I’m forced to listen to the other delegates take it in turns to drone on and on about grandfather. It’s so unspeakably tedious that I’m finding it hard to concentrate and if it wasn’t for the fact that I’m on edge worrying about Uncle Karl, I would probably be unconscious by now.

I’m roused from my stupor by an aide summoning me upstairs; apparently the interior minister wants to see me urgently. I can feel my stomach sink as I leave the parliament chamber and the long faces waiting for me inside the cabinet room only confirm my fears. Uncle Karl, I quickly note, is nowhere to be seen.

“Thank God you’re here!” exclaims the interior minister, rising to greet me. He looks very concerned indeed.

“Whatever’s wrong, Konrad?” I enquire, smiling faintly.

“Anna, Karl has just resigned.” As if I hadn’t already guessed! “We…were hoping that you could talk to him. Perhaps persuade him to stay on, at least until the next election.”

“I’ll try to buy us some time,” I reply softly, biting my lip. “But if I were you, I would start making plans for a transition of power...sooner, rather than later.”

There is a collective murmur from around the table but the interior minister seems more resigned than surprised; he just closes his eyes and nods. “Thank you, Anna…he’s in his office.”

I nod back and set off in search of Uncle Karl, already considering how to turn this latest development to my advantage.
 
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Uncle Karl is slumped in his leather swivel-chair and when I enter he turns away. But I’m not having any of this so I walk over and sit on the desk, using my foot to rotate his chair back around to face me. I don’t say anything; I’m letting my expression do the talking.

“I’m sorry, Annichen,” he blurts out after a few moments. “But I just can’t take it any more.”

“I’m sorry too,” I reply, coldly. “I’ve spent the last hour listening to our parliament elevate Maximilian Schreck to a level one step below divinity. What do you think will happen when they hear that you, his nephew, have turned your back on his legacy? At the very least, the government will collapse…perhaps the state will too. We’ll be lucky to get out of here alive. Is that what you really want?”

“But I can’t do this anymore! All I ever wanted was to write stories for children…I never wanted to be like Uncle Max…” He looks up at me with large, pleading eyes. “Tell me what to do, Annichen…please!”

My expression softens; there’s no use beating a man when he’s already in pieces. “Tell the people a story, my love…give them something to believe in.”

He stares at me, uncomprehending. “A story…?”

“A story,” I repeat softly, “because that’s all this is…a fairytale. The people don’t really care about elections and presidents; they just want someone who will rule over them and look after them. Yesterday they lost their wise old king and they’re afraid and desperate for someone to replace him. Now it’s up to you to write a happy ending for them. So after they’ve buried their king, give them a fairytale prince…or princess.”

I see the light slowly return to Uncle Karl’s eyes. This is a challenge he understands. No longer the unwilling leader of a broken republic, he is now the narrator, the fairy godmother, who will weave his wonderful magic and bring fresh hope to the kingdom.

I just pray that I end up as the princess, not the frog!!
 
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It’s Monday morning and I’ve been asked to attend today’s meeting of the cabinet. I’d like to see this as a positive development but I’m in no position to judge as Uncle Karl is being uncharacteristically unforthcoming. “Wait and see, Annichen,” is all he will answer to my repeated enquiries. I do hope I haven’t misjudged him.

There are long queues of people waiting to pay their respects to grandfather, so it takes us some time to make our way into the Rathaus. Normally this would really annoy me, as I hate being held up, but I’m actually rather pleased by the turnout as any demonstrable public support for the Schreck family can only help my cause.

Everyone is waiting for us in the cabinet room and I’m immediately struck by the curious atmosphere, heavy with tension and expectation. I also notice that an extra chair has been produced for me, immediately beside Uncle Karl at the head of the table.

A hush descends over the room as we take our seats. After calling the meeting to order, Uncle Karl launches straight into business, with little preamble.

“Upon reflection, I have decided to…reconsider…my offer of resignation,” he begins, slowly, and I can see people around the table start to relax. But their relief is short-lived. “However, my remaining in office is subject to certain…conditions.”

“Conditions, President?” enquiries the interior minister, worry returning to his face.

“For eleven years, I have had the honour of leading this government,” replies Uncle Karl, taking his time. “But I was never your president in anything but name. My late uncle, Maximilian Schreck, was our uncrowned monarch for the last forty-seven years; he inherited this position from his father, my grandfather, who ruled for a further twelve! This is not democracy, as I understand it…and I am no longer prepared to pretend that it is. So…if I am to continue leading this government, then I want to see the Basic Law amended to establish Walstadt as a constitutional monarchy in law as well as fact, with the office of president replaced by an elected prime minister and a hereditary prince...or princess.”

Utter silence. This really is explosive stuff and most of those present are visibly stunned. A few exchange furtive glances but no-one wants to be the first to speak. Even I’m left speechless!

After what feels like an age, the interior minister finally takes the plunge. “There will have to be a referendum,” is all he says.

In that moment, I know that my gamble has paid off. Interior minister Konrad Schmidt, the only other individual with enough support to make a credible bid for the leadership, has just declared his support for our little coup. He hasn’t said ‘yes’, but then he doesn’t need to because with that one, brief statement, he has pushed the debate past the tricky questions of ‘why’, ‘whether’ and even ‘who’…now it’s just a matter of ‘how’.

“Have you seen the crowds outside, waiting to pay their respects to my uncle?” replies Uncle Karl, with a gleam in his eye that tells me he’s far from finished. “There is your referendum. In fifty-nine years, a Schreck has never been passed over to lead this country…our family has become a symbol of national stability. But with my uncle’s passing, for the first time in nearly six decades that stability is threatened. That is why I feel we cannot wait for a referendum; the time to act is now. Think about it: on Saturday we commemorate the life of my uncle and then on Sunday we usher in a new era.

He gestures in my direction and soon everyone is looking at me.

“I can think of no one more suitable to be the face of that new era,” he continues. “With Anna as head of state, the stability of this country is assured for another generation."

A moment’s hesitation and then we get the all-important nod from Konrad; where he leads, the others will follow, if only because they know they don’t have a viable alternative. “Perhaps we could have a show of hands at this point, President?”

Magically, everyone is suddenly in favour.

Now we just need Parliament to pass our little amendment…
 
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Thursday. Konrad Schimdt has just presented a bill to amend the Basic Law and now Parliament is busy debating whether or not to make me a princess. I’ve been getting some odd looks from a few of the delegates, but most seem supportive and the early signs are encouraging.

There is an expectant murmur as Walstadt’s leading socialist, Erich Krenz, stands. So far no-one has dared to speak against the amendment but I have a feeling that is about to change. I’m not wrong. Krenz immediately launches into a spirited denunciation of the ‘despotic rule of the Schreck family’ and a government that is ‘single-handedly subverting the democracy it claims to serve’. It’s actually quite a good speech- by far the best I’ve heard today- but sadly for Krenz, I’m probably the only person here who is actually listening. He struggles on for several minutes against a rising tide of jeers and heckles, before finally bowing to the inevitable. Poor old Krenz looks so tired and defeated as he slumps back into his seat that I find myself feeling rather sorry for him; I may not agree with his politics but I have to admire his integrity and strength of character, which is so completely out of place here.

Besides, he’s actually done me a favour. By criticising the Schrecks, Krenz has all but ensured that the bill will pass. In fact, there are already calls for an immediate vote…

It passes by eight-six to one. Only Krenz votes against; the other socialists (worthless cowards, the lot of them) merely abstain. I can barely manage to keep my smugness from showing.

I have achieved my goal. Like some bizarre inversion of Cinderella, at the stroke of midnight I will become Princess of Walstadt!!!
 
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My first day as a princess…but the euphoria doesn’t last much beyond lunchtime. I feel like a spoilt child with a new toy; it’s enthralling for the first five minutes, but it soon becomes apparent that the reality of possession cannot hope to match the sheer weight of prior expectation. It’s the wanting, not the having, that really matters.

Still…it’s early days. All anyone wants to talk about is the preparations for grandfather’s funeral, so I’ll just focus on getting that out of the way. Hopefully things will be better next week, once we return to a semblance of normality.

***

I’ve just returned home from burying grandfather. Everything seemed to go well and I delivered what I thought was a good eulogy. Finally I can breathe again!

At least I have tomorrow to recover before the real work begins on Monday.

***

I may have miscalculated…badly.

There’s been a subtle shift in people’s attitudes towards me. Before last Friday, I was an elected Member of Parliament; my opinions may not have counted for much, but they counted for something. But as Princess of Walstadt, I’m not supposed to have opinions…I’m just supposed to look pretty (or at least cute, as I don’t really do pretty) and spout whatever nonsense ‘my’ government wants me to recite, much like a parrot!

How could I have been so stupid!!!

Schimdt, of course, is laughing…because with me as a politically-toothless head of state, he can now safely ease Uncle Karl out of office without fear of rocking the boat.

Well done, Anna!
 
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I’ve come to the conclusion that Schimdt is cunning, but not actually clever. I say this because he’s already managed to get himself into hot water over the sensitive issue of defence.

It all started with a series of incidents abroad: a kidnapping in Nicosia, a separatist attack in Serbovia and a thwarted terrorist plot in Cantigny. In short, nothing that should greatly concern us here. But Schmidt has suddenly started worrying about national security. He’s just revealed the existence of a ‘special police unit’ and is now fussing about expanding the Home Guard…which is all very well, were it not for the fact that both the police and the Home Guard are controlled by Schmidt’s ministry.

And that has got a lot of people questioning his motives.

His increasingly high-handed attitude towards Uncle Karl isn’t helping his position either. Uncle Karl may be ‘yesterday’s man’ (he’s certainly done nothing to dispel that image since the funeral), but he’s still the prime minister and many feel that Schmidt is being a little too forceful in his dealings with him.

Could it be that Konrad Schmidt has overreached himself already?!
 
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What a day!!!

Uncle Karl never ceases to amaze me. Earlier this week I was just about ready to write him off; but then today he goes and proves me wrong with a totally unexpected political masterstroke!

Basically, Konrad Schmidt wants five billion Thalers to raise three new brigades for the Home Guard, but Parliament isn’t at all happy about giving the good minister any more armed men to play with and keeps saying no. Parliament won’t budge but Schmidt can’t back down because his credibility is on the line. So he keeps on pushing, which loses him even more support…

Anyway this has been going on since Monday with no end in sight…until today, when out of the blue, Uncle Karl steps in with a compromise.

Yes, says Uncle Karl, something needs to be done about the Home Guard, which is woefully under-equipped by contemporary standards. But at the same time, it’s bad for democracy if any one organisation is able to exercise a monopoly over the means of coercion. So let’s have the new brigades…but instead of putting all three under the control of the Interior Ministry, why not make one of them a separate princely guard responsible directly to the monarch?

I really, really wish I could say that the idea was mine. Naturally, everybody jumps at the chance to save face and before the session is out, Parliament has voted not five, but six billion Thalers to fund the project!

All in all, a very successful day…Schmidt’s wings have been well and truly clipped and as icing on the cake, I get to have my own private regiment! Muahahaha!!
 
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Now, that I didn’t expect.

The Kyivan foreign ministry has released a statement protesting our “unilateral, unprovoked, militaristic arms build-up”. Or, to put it another way, the country with an estimated 27,000 tanks is complaining that we’re trying to buy 270!

I’m not the only one who didn’t see this coming; Kyiv’s little bombshell has taken a lot of people here by surprise. The cabinet is cloistered away drafting a formal response and there have been endless speeches in Parliament asserting Walstadt’s ‘sovereign right to defend itself’…all of which rather misses the point. Kyiv doesn’t actually care about our military plans; it’s simply indulging in a little light bullying and will soon go back to ignoring us provided we don’t make an issue of it.

Sometimes I despair of those around me!

***

Sigh...

The Exterior Ministry has responded to Kyiv’s protest and now Touzen has joined the fray. Grateful as I am for Nokanawa’s support, I really don’t want this nonsense to escalate so I’ve decided to be a little naughty and conduct some secret diplomacy of my own.

As I see it, we need tanks and Kyiv has them…so why not offer to buy from them? It’s certainly worth a try. After all, one of the new brigades is for me, so surely I should have some say how it's equipped?

Well I think I should.
 
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Jun 13, 2007
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I love shopping!

I’ve just ordered some military equipment from Kyiv, which is a new departure for me. Before this week I didn’t know much about armoured fighting vehicles, but I’ve since developed quite an appetite for them. After all, a girl only needs so many pairs of shoes but one can never have too many tanks!!

I’ve been rather naughty, though. Instead of ordering sufficient materiel to equip a brigade, I’ve bought enough for four! Schmidt will probably burst a blood-vessel when he finds out what I’ve done, not that he’ll have any grounds for complaint as I was careful to restrict my spending to the two billion Thalers already budgeted for my guard.

In fact…it’s just occurred to me that I might be able to use this to bury Schmidt once and for all. The Interior Ministry has spent untold millions on procurement studies without receiving any bids, much less functioning weapon systems; so imagine the public outcry that would ensue when it emerges that the princely household has already managed to equip a full guard division for the price of a single brigade. Schmidt’s credibility is already in tatters; I reckon a revelation like that would be enough to finish him.

Let’s find out.
 
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