Asterian Newsmedia

[Khemia]

Welcome to Cariano

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Tired of the hustle of city life, need to escape from the stress? Looking to explore some place new, delve into the places where civilization and the wild live together in harmony? Seeking to find your roots and cultivate a deeper sense of self? Discover Cariano, the beautiful community center of Valvobicolla, the refined communal wine estates of Asteria. Partake in the artisan craft wines produced by hundreds of families, in distilling techniques passed down since antiquity through the generations, and sample the tastes of Valvobicolla's finest. From novella Valvobicolla Classico, to the bold Amarone, and ending with the eloquent finish of recioto, you can enjoy the pleasures of ancient Asterian lifestyles dating back to Tiburan antiquity from the comfort of our traditional vineyard inns.

Partake in horseback tours, stride the parapets of centuries old castles, sample traditional eats and live in rustic yet accommodating villas while experiencing the courtesy of the past, or enjoy the luxury of our volcanic spa's and hot springs while immersing yourself in our cherished culture. Finally, seek the path of adventure in Valvobicolla's Volcanic Reserve, travelling through the dagalas, 'islands of life,' some of Gallia's last remaining primeval forest growth amid the black sea of lava beds, or hike through the blasted remnants of Ganiki Chasma's calderas.

We are sure you will create cherished memories of our home, making it a part of your own. Welcome to Cariano.

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[Khemia]

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PENITENZIAGITE​

"No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money."
- Matthew 6:24

A concerning trend is rising in Europe, practiced by the pretenders of faith, as stones of judgement are cast upon the paupers. Such steadfast lust for wealth and the accumulation of wealth has, in recent years, subjected the morally impoverished nations of Madurja and Nedernesie to a discourse focused entirely on the drive for an expansion of mundane possessions. The love of money, as the Bible teaches us, is the source of all evil. The marks of these evils is the reorientation of social relationships, redefining status in terms of a development narrative focused around wealth, property, education, and the arbitrary creation and imposition of worth.

A new era of imperialism dawns in Himyar, put forward by these wayward sheep, with the resurgence of the so-called Himyari Development Fund, the dictates of which have yet to be enumerated yet which can be relied on to ignore the values of morality, justice, righteousness, upbringing, faith, and pious cultivation of God's bountiful Earth.

Nay, in truth, the Development Fund exists purely to reappropriate the wealth of Himyar and her people. The Capitalists would argue that they seek to uplift Himyar by generating wealth therein, yet the communal and social costs of the production of this wealth are conveniently without measure.

"The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to till it and nourish it."
- Genesis 2:15

Waiver not from His guidance, maintain traditional and righteous relations with His bountiful gift, cherish and nourish it. Europe, our Eden, was not bestowed upon us for wanton and savage plunder; the rape of the Earth cannot be undone. Be as brothers with your neighbor, without consideration for wealth, and keep each other well and in trust. Be guided by the actions of Christ, cleanse your temples of the moneylenders and thieves that steal from the paupers and trade their worth for petty, ephemeral coin.

 

[Serenierre]

Office of the Archbishopric of Villesen
A recent publication in the Asterian news media has arrived at my table and I am most impressed by the writer. I would like to meet the writer of the publication someday and hope that my Asterian counterparts recognise the merit of their stance.

~ Dominique Hippolyte
Archbishop of Villesen

 

[Holy Frankish Empire]

Unified Republic of Madurja

Considering that we have one of the most active church-going populations globally; we find this news article to be rather curious and amusing.

 

[Khemia]

Unified Republic of Madurja

Considering that we have one of the most active church-going populations globally; we find this news article to be rather curious and amusing.

To whom it may concern,

The Bible teaches us that there will be those who claim to be persons of good faith, yet have deviated to beliefs that align with their sinful natures. 2 Timothy 4:3-4, Matthew 7:15-21. There are those among us Christians who are faithless, and believe in salvation by association rather than by righteous practice and action, and certainly there are those among such people who treasure wealth above all other things, and go against His word and treat their fellows as other than kin. Keep trust in the guidance and principles taught by Jesus Christ, our savior and liberator, and go forth to spread His word and encourage sacred and brotherly relations among all men.

May the Lord bless thee and keep thee,
Bernabas Caroldo
Editor-in-Chief of Penitenziagite

 

[Vrijpoort]

Random Nedernesians at their bank's canteen in between mouthfuls of Kadikistani caviar and Gallian champagne

'Isn't, like, Asteria super poor and sad? Like it's all dirt roads and stuff.'

'Yeah, dude. That's the place. What a pity that they all just waste their time in those musty churches instead of going out to work hard and prosper.'

Munch munch - sip sip

'Wait, dude, stop everything. Idea: we open churches in Asteria and we charge people money for blessings from the priest. It's probably never been done before!'

'Duuuude...you're a genius. Let's go tell the Asterian Desk...oh wait, we don't have one!'

Both men cackle in laughter and nearly choke on their caviar as a group of female bankers walk by and roll their eyes, 'Banker bros...' *sigh*