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El Presidente, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Conspiracy

Josepania

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Palacio Presidencial, Palmira, Isla de San José, Gran República Archipelágica de San José
12/10/2021, 1400hrs


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The gentle rocking of the chair was timed well with the rhythm of the waves crashing against the shores, a sound that never got old even after many decades of listening to what some Josefinos described as the heartbeat of San José. It could be heard over the merrymaking of tourists and natives alike, it rumbled beneath the din of commuting traffic, it was part of every aspect of the lives of Josefinos and Josefinas everywhere, even those who lived as inland as geographically possible. Even there, in the remote corners of the islands, the waves could still be heard, breathing life into San José.

Presidente José Constanza sipped on his Josefino Libre with a content smile on his face, watching the sun pass from east to west on his private balcony from the Palacio Presidencial. He had just returned from a fantastic celebratory getaway in Würzwald, Eiffelland following a successful peace deal in Chagny of the Holy Frankish Empire. It was safe to say, at least in the humble opinion of El Presidente, that he had single-handedly averted a Second Great War from consuming Gallo-Germania, and the celebration of Oktoberfest in Eiffelland was the least that could be done to thank the Josefino leader for his titanic efforts to forge peace from the blistering hot metal of war. That was the impression his hosts had given him at any rate, and the cheering crowds in Palmira when he finally returned home certainly helped with that self-perception as well.

Still, it wasn't all joyous and pleasant, the Josefino learned as a mild scowl crept across his face, which retreated when he took a light drag from a lit joint. The Archipelagic Congressmen had also greeted him and praised him for his efforts, but it was no thanks to them that San José had accomplished what it did. The Congress had, in fact, made no effort whatsoever to truly contribute to this monumental, prestigious occasion. They had instead bickered and quarreled at home, dragging their feet as much as possible to prevent San José from coming anywhere near war, even if it was forced upon them by a war-hungry Frankish Emperor, because it hurt their bottom lines with the tourist industry. It was unlike them to be so unresponsive to El Presidente and the will of the people, but it wasn't the first time they had shown such stubbornness. Presidente Constanza reflected on the delays in regards to the affordable housing project that the Natalians and Ostmarkers had tried to help with, and how they were stuck in bureaucratic hell for so long in the Archipelagic Congress before the bill finally passed. Officially, it was to ensure that environmental regulations and standardized building codes were followed to letter after agonizing letter. Unofficially, the Congressmen did their damndest to skim off the top as much as they could feasibly get away with, and they had managed to get away with much, much more than Presidente Constanza truly understood until now.

The marijuana did little to keep the scowl from returning at that thought, so a quick sip of Josefino Coffee next to El Presidente completed the infamous Josefino Cocktail of drugs now coursing through his system, which took the edge off his frustration somewhat. It was true that this was simply how business was done in San José. It's how it had always been done even before the Collectivist Revolution of 1950 led by Presidente Constanza's grandfather, which then ushered in the presidency of Constanza's father, and then Constanza himself. Corruption was just an acceptable, normal way to do politics, regardless of ideology, and allow for anything at all to get done in San José and neatly paper over the hypocrisy of a democracy without much actual democratic practice, railing against exploitation from abroad while turning a blind eye to exploitation at home. All in San José professed their undying belief in the Global Exploitation Conspiracy, to varying degrees of passion, but El Presidente was the most aware of its hypocrisy, and recent events at home and abroad had led him to reconsider the rot he had let fester at home for too long.

The success of the Anarchistisch-Kollektivistische Allianz political party in Eiffelland, jumping from three-quarters of a percentage point to nearly seven and a half percent of the vote, with a gain of seventy-six seats in the legislature, showed the true soft power of El Presidente and the ideology he spread to the international world. This on the heels of the revolution he inspired in Socialist Zara, and now with the peace he had crafted in Chagny. It was Presidente Constanza who truly embodied the will of the people, of collectivism, of freedom from the Global Exploitation Conspiracy, not these corrupt Archipelagic Congressmen and bureaucrats of the Grand Archipelagic Republic. He understood all too clearly now that the Collectivist Revolution had been stalled, perhaps for justifiable reasons back when his grandfather and father were in control, but justifiable no longer. And the hypocrisy was eating at him. It was felt in the sneers from people and governments of democratic nations in response to the genuine love El Presidente had for the people. Was it truly inconceivable that agents had not also penetrated the very heart of the Free New World itself, San José, and corrupted its revolution from within? Perhaps it wasn't so inconceivable after all.

With a sigh, Presidente Constanza took a much larger sip of the Josefino Libre, the rum coursing through his veins and enhancing the wonderful buzz from the Josefino Cocktail that took a much stronger hold of his body, bringing a wondrous tingling sensation that few could accurately (or coherently) describe. His mind remained focused though, and though the anger receded, the conclusion had not: the Global Exploitation Conspiracy was within San José, and it threatened everything El Presidente stood for, fought for, worked for throughout his term. This was not acceptable.

He had to reform the revolution, bring true power to the people, and usher in what they had waited for nearly seventy-two years to achieve: peace, prosperity, progress, and paradise which stemmed from it all. He would outshine both his grandfather and father in what he brought to San José, finally expel the Global Exploitation Conspiracy from San José, and be the most popular man on Twatter in the history of mankind. It would be glorious.

The chair rocked with the waves, never missing a beat despite the trip the Josefino leader was going through right now. He would have to begin making plans soon, but that could wait until he sobered up. For now, he rested within the embrace of the sounds of his land, his people, who he would fight so hard for. And they would love him for it.

As it should be.
 

Josepania

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Palacio Presidencial, Palmira, Isla de San José, Gran República Archipelágica de San José
13/10/2021, 0915hrs


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"Is it truly this extensive?" Presidente José Constanza asked incredulously, thumbing through the report assembled by his Foreign Minister and right-hand man Gabriel Morales.

"Si, su Excelencia. The Archipelagic Congressmen have gotten rather lazy with covering their tracks. Your grandfather and father had the foresight to set up a system for monitoring their less than legal transactions and connections to ensure their cooperation when it came to certain bills that needed passing." Ministro Morales responded, adjusting his glasses. "I was just about to use this draft report on their corruption as leverage in the event of war with the Holy Frankish Empire, but as that is no longer necessary, we can use it for more... extreme and long-term goals."

Presidente Constanza nodded as he studied the names and numbers. The report itself was essentially a ledger detailing the paper trail of money meant for various government projects relating to infrastructure, taxable income, and business subsidies that mysteriously vanished from official budgetary reports. Simple numbers and names that, when put together, painted a complex and comprehensive picture of extensive corruption. He knew that, when placed side-by-side with the Josefino Archipelagic Budget, the extent of embezzlement and money laundering would be glaringly obvious and impossible to ignore, even for the most crooked of bureaucratic officials. It included all of the Archipelagic Congressmen, various governors and mayors scattered throughout the archipelagic, many corporate executives and some convenient bureaucratic minions, even some of the Cabinet wasn't immune to this sloppy coverup. Morales was right, they had gotten lazy, complacent and confident in their theft from the Josefino people, given how apparently easy it was to compile this, and for that alone they were deserving punishment. But now they were challenging El Presidente and his will, and therefore by extension the will of the Josefino people.

That was unacceptable.

"Well done, Ministro Morales." Presidente Constanza declared, closing up the report. "I imagine it goes without saying that our own involvement in such repulsive behavior is expunged?"

A blank stare was his reply. "Obviously, su Excelencia, we and our associates know better than to steal from the people."

El Presidente smiled, that was good enough for him. "Excellent. At your convenience, please reach out to those who would be interested in removing this exploitation from our lands, accelerating the collectivization of San José, and who would be better equipped to have a more spotless record going forward."

Morales gave a curt nod and stood, "With pleasure, su Excelencia." He turned and departed the room, one copy of the ledger in tow.

Presidente Constanza's copy remained with him, and he looked at it again with a heavy sigh. He was blessed and lucky that Morales was loyal both to El Presidente and the fight against the Global Exploitation Conspiracy. Without Morales, he'd be powerless, and against him... that was a nightmare Presidente Constanza was glad would never become reality.

He could not sit and ponder this, however, he had a plane to catch for Camp Hill, @Natal, to meet with President Olivia Harper Poole and further discuss the alignment of San José and Natal going forward, not just in international affairs but internal affairs as well. From what he had heard, she was thinking about extensive reforms too, and they aligned with his nearly perfectly. Therefore, asking for a little future funding and support for what was to come couldn't hurt at all.
 
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Josepania

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Palacio Presidencial, Palmira, Isla de San José, Gran República Archipelágica de San José
14/10/2021, 1548hrs


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"Congratulations on your successful application for citizenship, General Leone. San José is honored to welcome you to your new home." Presidente José Constanza toasted with his latest glass of El Capitán rum on the rocks, a simple drink for a relatively simple yet important celebration.

The man on the receiving end of the toast and the other side of the table raised his own glass in acknowledgement, and took a sip. Il Generale was an older man than El Presidente by about 10 years, and his features were notably more chiseled, craggy, the face of a man who had seen a hard life and with it much combat. It was in stark contrast to Presidente Constanza's own smooth, youthful face, which was enhanced by the sunburn already present on the Zaran-turned-Josefino. He would tan over time, he had enough Tiburan blood in him for that to eventually happen, but the Occidentian sun near the equator was merciless to all, and always gave those who visited and those who stayed a harsh introduction to its radiance.

"Grazie, signor Presidente." Corrado Leone responded in Zaran, his gravelly voice matching his features, though there was a wistfulness that could not be hidden by the gruffness.

"Homesick, General?" Presidente Constanza inquired, cocking his head to the side with mild curiosity.

"Zara has been my home all my life, Signor Presidente. The generosity of San José in taking me will never be forgotten, and I will grow to love it... but I must first let go of that which I've held most dearly all my life, especially against my will." Leone replied, staring out one of the windows to the east in the direction of the Old World. "And please... just Mr. Leone now. I do not command Josefino soldiers, nor do I feel qualified to do so for the time being."

Clearly the collapse of the Socialist Zaran Republic was hitting the military man hard... El Presidente couldn't blame his grief, regardless of it being admirably contained. The Socialist Republic's collapse was a disaster for Josefino foreign policy and for El Presidente's prestige. It was hard to suppress the "#ZaranFolly" hashtag on Twatter, but fortunately it didn't get far on the social media platform to derail Presidente Constanza's standing too terribly. Still, it too hit the Josefino hard, and so his sympathy for the Zaran General was genuine, albeit slightly selfish.

"My apologies, Señor Leone, old habits. But the people know you as Il Generale for a reason, and that popularity has not abated, at least here in San José. You are a military man, and though a foreigner, an adopted Josefino now, and thus a trusted military man. That is a power that cannot easily be ignored, Señor Leone. I certainly will not." Presidente Constanza began, taking a sip during his pause, "Especially because I may require use of your services in the near future."

The wistfulness evaporated surprisingly quickly, as the Zaran looked to El Presidente with the focused attention of that stereotypical military man the Josefino expected. "My services, Signor Presidente?"

Presidente Constanza smiled softly, "Indeed, Señor Leone. I have come to learn that the same corruption that plagued Socialist Zara despite your best efforts to combat it and eradicate it has begun to fester here, in San José, and it is becoming a problem I can no longer ignore." That got Il Generale's attention. From the Congress of Eugenia to the other generals and military officers underneath Leone, Zara had unfortunately been drowning in corruption from its very birth months ago, and was partly the reason Leone felt compelled to sign away Zaran lands and exile himself, for his safety and the safety of the people. It of course did not work out, and so the grudge the Zaran undoubtedly felt towards those who were not patriotically devoted to their lands was immense.

El Presidente continued, "That corruption unfortunately extends to certain senior officers in the military, and I grow increasingly concerned that San José will become less and less able to fight the war against the Global Exploitation Conspiracy when it has these vultures and leeches silently draining its economic lifeblood in the process, for their own gain and the gain of potential outside supporters." He set the glass down and stood to look out one of the windows overlooking Palmira. "This is unacceptable. As you learned all too well, allowing such corruption to take root and not be eliminated immediately can have... disastrous consequences."

There was silence from Il Generale, a silence that seemed to drag on for eternity, but in reality only lasted a minute. Presidente Constanza waited all the while, nonchalantly, allowing the events in Socialist Zara to replay again and again in the Zaran's mind before he finally asked, "What would you have me do, Signor Presidente?"

El Presidente allowed himself a small, unseen smile that was wiped away before he turned back to Leone with a gravely serious gaze, "There is a cleansing coming soon, a purge of those who would hamper the will of the people and steal from them for the agents of the Global Exploitation Conspiracy. I need loyal men by my side to step into the inevitable power vacuums that will appear as a consequence of this, especially in the military so that this cleansing of San José from the exploiters and corrupt can be enforced. With these loyal men, we will be able to bring true, actual socialism to San José, and be better able to take the fight to the Corrupt Old World in the future and liberate those oppressed by their tyranny."

He crossed the distance between himself and
Il Generale to come face to face with the military man. Though he was physically shorter, he could sense the power and confidence emanating from himself that made him seem at least a meter taller. "I promised you that I would help you as best I could in Gonzaga. I did my best to keep that promise, but because of corruption at home and abroad, I failed. I ask for your forgiveness, Il Generale, and hope that you can come to my aid in my time of need." He extended his hand, and waited.

Seconds passed, a stillness settling in the room as the Zaran thought about what was to come.

He grabbed El Presidente's hand and shook it. "I am yours to command, El Presidente." Leone declared, a new iron emerging from the rolling gravel of his voice.

Presidente Constanza nodded, maintaining his grave gaze while inwardly beaming with glee. The people and, more importantly, the soldiers among the rank and file, would flock to this foreign hero-turned Josefino comrade. Along with Morales' efforts to secure the loyalty of certain other general officers, the military was his and, therefore, the people's.

Reform was coming, by the barrel of a gun if needed, and San José would be great again.
 

Josepania

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Charleroi, The Federation of Westernesse
18/10/2021, 1206hrs


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The applause of Westermen citizens nearly drowned out the steady beat of marching soldiers on the pavement, the military band that was belting out one of many patriotic songs providing what was essentially background noise to the whole affair. It reminded El Presidente as the parade continued, who himself was clapping with dignified enthusiasm by the otherwise outrageous standards of the bombastic Head of State, of some of the military parades San José put on during their own independence day. The difference was, though, most of the time the sun was still shining and the air was warm, lovely, and slightly humid.

In contrast, Charleroi was bitterly cold to the Josefino, who had wrapped himself up in a thick coat to ward off some of the chill. How these Westermen dealt with such cold weather on a daily basis was beyond him, but he nonetheless admired their enthusiasm for the Federation and all it stood for: democracy, liberty, freedom, and a complete rejection of intervention from the Global Exploitation Conspiracy. There were minor quibbles about certain economic thinking, but otherwise San José and the Federation were on the same page when it came to politics. If anything the Federation was more able to actually practice what it preached with its democratic ideals, and that was something Presidente Constanza hoped he would have San José match soon.

Over the weekend he had been making progress alongside Minister Foreign Morales, who was sitting next to him with a blank smile and the mildest of clapping to the festivities around them, in assembling a damning report of all the corruption present in the Josefino government. Most of the focus was on the Archipelagic Congress, where every member was guilty of some form of embezzlement, illegal holdings in non-governmental organizations, and various other crude and despicable acts they used in taking advantage of the system that trusted them to be representatives of the Josefino people. Combined with a select few leaders of large business organizations and a handful of military officers and some mid-level bureaucrats, it was a comprehensive cross-section of Josefino authority that was or had the potential to stymie the will of El Presidente and, through him, the people. Morales had made subtle contact to several mid-level bureaucrats, as well as business and union leaders, who could step into the void created by this purge, while Corrado Leone was spreading his popularity among the rank and file of the Josefino soldiers and drumming up their support of him as a leader. The somewhat exaggerated tales of his time as Il Generale in Socialist Zara and his close friendship with El Presidente did wonders in that regard.

Still, there was always a question of timing: when to break the news of this terrible corruption that Presidente Constanza only just now learned of? It was easy to state that he had secretly suspected it for some time, and with loyal governmental and military aides had done some investigation and took notes of all the corruption that was found, but what would the catalyst be, the event that would set the whole thing in motion? It turned out that it was, fortunately, another Westernesse nation that would providing such an opportunity for this event. Even Morales was impressed by the cleverness of the plan when El Presidente first proposed it.

He looked to his right, and there was the Natalian delegation led by President Olivia Harper Poole, who seemed a bit more at home in the cold weather than he did. She had recently sent a confidential diplomatic message proposing the creation of a formal alliance between Natal and San José: the Westernesse-Occidential Treaty Organization, that would take the brainchild of their foreign minister, Pedro Herrera and El Presidente himself, the Herrera-Constanza Doctrine, and enshrine it into a military alliance that would soon grow to encompass the whole Free New World. It was something Presidente Constanza had been slowly working towards for some time now, seemingly an eternity, and it was almost in his grasp. However, WOTO would need to be ratified by the Archipelagic Congress first, and given they were the catalyst behind this whole effort by him to erase them from relevance in Josefino politics, he knew that they would drag their feet with this potential alliance as well, attempting to extract as much as they could personally from Natalian financial aid to line their pockets before they could sign off on it.

But that would be used to his advantage. He would lay a trap for them to blissfully walk into, too fat and greedy from prior embezzlement and confident from their latest victories to be careful with their intentions. He could record conversations, spy on emails, document every step of the way in their efforts to steal from the Josefino people and stall efforts to bring down their true masters, the Global Exploitation Conspiracy. And then he would expose them for the snakes and rats they were, arrest them, and damn them for eternity with the other evidence he had already collected that would be utterly irrefutable.

The people would be outraged, and they would demand justice, likely through blood. But they would also demand that the one who exposed the corruption be given a mandate to remake the nation as they saw fit: El Presidente. He could then ratify WOTO and secure Josefino international security, which would be needed soon given the impending Sankt Katharina expedition that was put on hold to ensure no further snags in the Bourdignie Confederate peace process. He could reform the electoral system to more closely resemble a direct democracy like the Federation, implement the e-government system Natal was putting together, reform the economy to more closely follow the Cayabocani model of unions and trade organizations, and follow in the footsteps of the Caudillo of Gran-Occidentia in removing prior corruption and showing he was a leader of reform, of true democracy and liberty and freedom.

He would, especially after the awarding of the Queen Louise Peace Prize, be utterly untouchable in popularity at home and abroad.

He couldn't wait to get back home and get the plan rolling, but for now, he had to focus his attention back on the celebration at hand. His would come soon enough.
 

Josepania

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Palacio Presidencial, Palmira, Isla de San José, Gran República Archipelágica de San José
19/10/2021, 1455hrs


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"Señores, have you seen the headline from Tiempos Archipelágicos today?" Presidente José Constanza asked, casually scrolling through his phone while the twelve Archipelagic Congressmen settled into their seats at the briefing table, the idle chatter between them dying down as they processed his question.

"No, su Excelencia. Is something wrong?" replied one of the Congressmen, Raul Montes, who represented the Costa Ron area and, surely by pure coincidence, happened to have a large stake in the Josefino rum company El Capitán. It helped his brother Juan was the Master Distiller at the distillery there.

El Presidente glanced up from his phone with visible, mild confusion. "'Something wrong?' Why, Congresista Montes, I was hoping you could tell me that today." He placed his phone on the table, and from the right angle one could see a recent headline via Tidningarnas Telegrambyrå. "Apparently the mood of the Archipelagic Congress was reported to be... 'hesitant' by the Tiempos Archipelágicos." To their credit, the Congressmen did not squirm at that observation, but their demeanor began to shift from relaxed to slightly on edge. "I must admit I am confused by this. I thought that the potential of a firm alliance with la República Occidental de Natal could only be a good thing for San José. Beyond the military support for our fight against the Global Exploitation Conspiracy, the people could reap economic benefits from the common development aid fund and further spread the prestige of la Gran República Archipelágica. Tell me, am I mistaken in my assessment?"

There was a mild pause, before another Congressman, Manuel Santander of the Puerto Café region, and incidentally someone whose bank account swelled from profits made by the coffee industry in San José, decided to reply. "Su Excelencia, you are not mistaken, far from it! We all agree that stronger relations with Natal is vital to Josefino interests. We simply have... questions regarding some of the details of this treaty."

Presidente Constanza raised an eyebrow, "Questions? Congresista Santander, I believe the draft treaty I have presented you all is rather comprehensive and should be fairly clear from a quick glance."

A third Congressman, Oscar Vargas, the representative of Las Venturas and father of the manager of a prominent chain of Josefino hotels in the area, stepped into the discussion, "It is, su Excelencia, but our questions primarily revolve around the common development aid fund. Given the recent threat of war, which mercifully passed thanks to your superior negotiating skills, income for major industries in San José have unfortunately reported some instability, especially in tourism. The damage could have been much worse, but we've received reports from industry leaders throughout the Archipelago that the scare still caused a hit, and they're not pleased in getting involved in further potential international conflict without securing their assets first. We must take these complaints seriously, and so we are wondering if further negotiations with Natal can take place, ensuring this development aid can be directed towards recouping some of the potential losses these critical industries have suffered."

There was a murmur of general agreement among the Congressmen, and El Presidente paused before responding, "Congresista Vargas, leaving aside your detailed knowledge of the state of business in San José, that developmental aid is for the people, for those who still suffer from homelessness despite our promises, my promise, months earlier to eradicate it from our Grand Archipelagic Republic. They are our constituents, our voters, and it is my understanding that they have recently been favoring increased relations and, thus, economic aid from our richer neighbors. Shouldn't their needs come first?"

Congressman Montes stepped back in, "Of course, su Excelencia, but they are not the only ones who get a say in this discussion. We have to take the industrial leaders into consideration as well as the people in such an important debate, and if the industries as a whole are not doing well, the people will suffer as a result, so it is best to ensure that help to these industries is guaranteed, and prosperity for the people is sure to follow."

"Exactly, su Excelencia!" Congressman Santander interjected. "We must ensure all levels of Josefino society get an equal share of aid. Sure, this will mean less for the people initially, but that is an investment into further personal prosperity in the future when the industries are successful. You understand that we in the Archipelagic Congress must take these other constituencies into account as well..."

"We must indeed, for they are the backbone of our current strength to take on potential international causes." Congressman Vargas concurred. "And furthermore..."

The discussion continued, the Congressmen going on and on about how every constituent needed a voice, how Archipelagic economic security was at stake, how passionate they were about every Josefino regardless of their success or connections in wealth needed a say, all while dancing around the truth of their corruption. Always hinting at it, never quite saying it out loud, but getting closer the longer they droned on and on.

At one point El Presidente sighed and picked up his phone again while yet another Congressman was blathering about his 'concerns,' closing the news app and switching to another, unseen by the Congressmen. He had to check and make sure the phone was still recording, and sure enough, every minute thus far had been captured. He'd review the audio later to make sure the quality was clear, but Presidente Constanza had made sure to have the latest, best phone he possibly could. Not just for ease of Twatting, but also for moments like these when he needed... 'evidence' he could use against potential rivals.

Satisfied with the recording thus far, he switched to Twatter and listened as the Congressmen continued to blissfully dig their own graves.
 

Josepania

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Palacio Presidencial, Palmira, Isla de San José, Gran República Archipelágica de San José
21/10/2021, 1140hrs


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Even in the relative isolation of the Palacio Presidencial, the chants of angry protesters could be heard filling the air, along with the honking of horns from automobiles with a scattering of patriotic songs trying to give some form of rhythm to the chaotic mobs. Sirens of police cars could also be heard as the metropolitan police kept the crowds under control, but otherwise let them express their rage by decree of Presidente José Constanza. He would not let Palmira turn into another Petrovgrad, as that would not only be rather embarrassing, it'd take away from the real story.

Twatter was blowing up on his phone, Josefinos and foreigners were retwatting his own statement surrounding the Palmira Papers, bringing more attention to who was implicated in the ledger and, more importantly, who wasn't. El Presidente was not implicated in this horrendous scandal that was plaguing San José, and to the public he was just as shocked as his people, and was committed to getting to the bottom of things. He was indeed in close contact with Seguridad Interna Josefino as they verified the ledger Foreign Minister Gabriel Morales had put together and anonymously leaked to Tiempos Archipelágicos, but it was also Minister Morales who was actually directing the investigation, alongside Il Generale working alongside Defense Minister Vasquez within the Fuerzas Armadas Archipelágicas, especially after one of the head investigators of the SIJ found himself suspended following his outing in the Palmira Papers and therefore removed as a potential obstacle. The airports and ports were also being watched closely, in case anyone decided to try and escape the trap they had blundered into.

The accused would be arrested, one by one, their assets confiscated, and their bank accounts frozen by orders of Minister Belmonte so that no more Josefino wealth could be funneled away from the treasury. At least, wealth funneled towards those who were caught. The bank accounts of El Presidente and his loyal associates were obviously spotless and not implicated in this ledger, and any of the accused who attempted to drag Presidente Constanza or Minister Morales into the muck of corruption would have no evidence to back up their obviously desperate flailing and deflection.

His phone rang, distracting El Presidente from his thoughts. It was Il Generale, a call he absolutely had to take. "Si?" he asked. Presidente Constanza listened for a minute, then replied, "Bueno." and hung up the phone. Nothing more needed to be said.

The first Congresista Archipelágico had been arrested, and it happened at the airport as he was conveniently going on vacation to Puerto Angeles in Gran-Occidentia. Even better, it was Congresista Raul Montes, who was present in the meeting El Presidente recorded two days ago, a recording that would soon be turned over to SIJ investigators as further damning evidence. The look for the Congresista was embarrassing, to say the least.

The chants outside seemed to be getting louder as the news of the arrests broke. "¡Traidores al colectivismo!" and "¡Agentes de la conspiración!" grew more intense, more passionate. The people were upset, and rightfully so, they were demanding justice.

Justice would soon be granted to them... but on El Presidente's terms.
 

Josepania

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Palacio Presidencial, Palmira, Isla de San José, Gran República Archipelágica de San José
23/10/2021, 1517hrs


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"Mis amigos, hijos e hijas de San José, I will not lie to you. Although this is a great day in our war against the Conspiración de Explotación Global, where we have exposed systemic and terrible corruption, and have begun to remove it one agent at a time, it is also a tragic day. The corruption was not found abroad in a nation of the Viejo Mundo Corrompido, nor was it found in a neighboring nation in the Nuevo Mundo Libre. It was found here, in San José." Presidente José Constanza began his speech from the balcony of the Palacio Presidencial, the assembled crowd below protesters who had been demonstrating for the past few days demanding justice and answers to the corruption uncovered by the Palmira Papers. After letting the anger simmer, El Presidente decided now was the time to step in.

"Thanks to the anonymous whistleblower, a true patriot and loyal comrade of the Collectivist Revolution who leaked the Palmira Papers to Tiempos Archipelágicos, confirming my suspicions that had been growing for months, and to the Seguridad Interna Josefino for arresting and detaining each and every individual accused of embezzlement and corruption before they could escape righteous justice, we have uprooted this plague from our soil and quarantined it before its poisonous roots could spread further, hollowing us from the inside like a cancerous disease, and weakening us, the vanguard of the war against the Conspiración de Explotación Global. It is horrifying and terrible to see, however, just how deep this corruption ran. All twelve of our Congresistas Archipelágicos have turned out to be sleeper agents of the Conspiración de Explotación Global, and their associates in the Fuerzas Armadas Archipelágicas and our industries their fellow agents or willing minions. Rank greed overcame noble patriotism and righteous idealism, and they stole from us, stole from you, to take advantage of the sacrifices we have been willing to make to counter the Conspiración de Explotación Global wherever they extended their influence in the international world."

"But something else troubles me, mis amigos. We have been complacent. And I have been complacent. The Palmira Papers have also shown that this corruption began decades ago, well before my Presidency, or the Presidency of my father, even stemming all the way back to the early days of my grandfather's administration shortly following the Collectivist Revolution of 1950. We have been so focused on the enemy abroad, that we neglected the enemy at home, and it nearly ruined us. We have lost sight of the ideals set forth by those brave revolutionaries over six decades ago, content to believe the work was already done by them and by the generation that came after. We believed our only mandate was to bring the message of paz, prosperidad, y progreso to the exploited masses of Europe, resulting in paraíso for all. That was wrong, and I was wrong for believing that throughout my short, but eventful Presidency thus far."

"With this sobering reflection, though, I find that there is hope in this dark time. No, it is not because of what I said earlier, that we have struck a critical blow against the agents of the Conspiración de Explotación Global, though that is certainly true. It is because the moment you, the people, realized what had happened, you understood we needed to change our mandate. You knew we could no longer rest on our laurels, believe we have achieved paraíso when the work is far from done, and we could no longer fall short of the ideals and expectations of our abuelos y padres. You called for, no, you demanded reform, Revolutionary Reform, to fulfill the promise of the Collectivist Revolution, and you are right to do so! This is why we shall win our war against the Conspiración de Explotación Global, because you will never give up, never submit, and never surrender to their promises, their lies, their greed, and their warmongering. You shall stand strong and be the generation that brought about a Second Collectivist Revolution!"

"Therefore, though I too played a role in neglecting this cancerous corruption until it was nearly too late, although I myself was complacent until now about the work that still needs to be done, I am humbled by your continued faith in me, and resolved as such to not make this mistake again, but learn from it and be better for it. I accept your mandate to reform San José, to prevent this corruption from ever taking root again, and to fulfill the mandate of our ancestors to bring paz, prosperidad, progreso, y paraíso to San José! I will not fail you, because you did not fail San José!"

"Lastly, I hear your righteous cries for justice, to make these criminals, these traitors, these agents of the
Conspiración de Explotación Global pay for the injustice, humiliation, and pain they have caused us. And they will indeed face justice, but a civilized, fair justice, not a brutal, barbaric one. We are not them, we are better than them, and we must always remember that even in our darkest moments. Remember, mis amigos, that it is Christian to forgive, and that we should not stoop to the level of monsters to fight and punish monsters. Remember also, though, that although we may eventually forgive, we will never forget. They will not be able to exploit us ever again regardless of their punishment. They will not fool us again with their lies and their sweet words professing loyalty to San José. We shall never lose vigilance again!"

"So, mis amigos, wipe the tears of sorrow and rage from your eyes, straighten yourselves up and square your shoulders, and prepare to move forward! The task is immense, it shall be long, and it shall be hard, but we shall prevail! By your strength and trust in me and in San José, we shall prevail! By your commitment to paz, prosperidad, progreso, y paraíso, we, shall, prevail!"

The roar of the crowd swept over the Palacio Presidencial like a wave on the shores of Palmira, swallowing him whole in renewed jubilation and excitement over the future. El Presidente had given San José hope again, and in turn, San José had given El Presidente a mandate to do whatever he wished to reform San José. As he beamed with pride and waved to the crowd, he knew his Cabinet was waiting behind him, hidden in the briefing room, arms full of plans and proposals for reforms and ideas.

He had work to do, but it could wait. For the drug that was the love of the people, it could always wait.
 

Josepania

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Palacio Presidencial, Palmira, Distrito Capital, la Gran República Popular Plurinacional de San José
15/02/2022, 1517hrs


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El Presidente José David Constanza sighed in contentment as he placed his phone on his desk and propped his feet up next to his metaphorical megaphone to the world, hands behind his head and leaning back into his comfy chair. This new arrangement of government was much, much more to his liking going forward, where the de facto became de jure. Gabriel Morales had always been the one who made El Presidente's vision a reality within San José and, as Foreign Minister outside of it as well. He did the hard work, while Constanza focused on ensuring the populace was on his side and the attention was focused solely on him. Now, with Secretario General Morales heading the Grand People's Committee, the official executive branch of the government, El Presidente could focus on doing what he did best: Twatting, directing public attention, and bringing a lot of attention to San José.

He also had a much freer schedule going forward, and in a wise move to prevent the shadow-presidential-dictator from getting bored, Morales suggested that the "Symbol of the People" should go on an international tour, visiting the countries who either loved, hated, or had a love-hate relationship with San José, meeting and greeting world leaders, spreading Josefino fame or infamy with the people, and overall just getting him out of Palmira and keeping him busy. Constanza was all for it. He was not a lazy man by any means, and he loved to be active and have fun while pushing forward the war against the Conspiración de Explotación Global, and this seemed like an excellent new avenue to do so.

Therefore he directed the restructured Oficina del Departamento de Relaciones Exteriores under the newly promoted, and much happier, Secretario Demetrio Verdugo to send out a public message to the world: El Presidente was going on vacation, all who wanted to receive him should begin booking speaking appointments now. It did not take long for the foreign ministry of @Beira to respond and, beyond inviting him to the Palacio Verde of Ribamar, they also invited him to make a speech in front of their legislature, the Cortes Gerais. The Beirans knew exactly what El Presidente wanted, and he would not disappoint.

Further, he was looking forward to the food, drink, and women he'd sample during his excursion. He couldn't wait for the plane to take off tomorrow and take him on the first step of a hopefully very long, exciting, and memorable adventure...
 

Josepania

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Aeroporto Internacional Roberto Delgado, Ribamar, Reino Unido da Beira
16/02/2022, 1029hrs


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The wheels of the executive jet squealed in protest, throwing up a plume of white smoke, as the plane touched down on the runway and began slowing down to a taxi. Inside, lounging in his seat, El Presidente José David Constanza lazily sipped on the remainder of his Josefino Libre, a drink he had been regularly consuming for the long, Trans-Thaumantic flight from Palmira to Ribamar. He'd never gotten fully used to flying, the noise and confined space made rest difficult despite the best efforts of aeronautical engineers to cram luxury into his executive jet aircraft. So where engineering failed, alcohol stepped in to provide some relaxation.

He made sure to dress the part for his upcoming state visit: a blinding white suit with the presidential sash draped over one shoulder, and a matching white fedora to complete the stereotypical Occidentian look. Not exactly practical for weather purposes, but that wasn't the point. Appearances were everything when it came to this fast-paced, social media hungry world, and what would grab the attention of the masses in the most efficient way tended to be the headline. In this case, how utterly different El Presidente looked compared to most other leaders, who would otherwise likely be subdued in their appearance to mask their power. By displaying it so ostentatiously like a peacock, attention was drawn to him, and thus San José, despite knowing he'd only spend a brief amount of time waving and smiling to reporters, supporters, and protestors alike before being whisked away to the Palacio Verde, where the real work would begin.

The plane taxied to a halt in its designated place, and the Josefino President downed the rest of his drink before standing and straightening out his suit, to ensure not one unnecessary wrinkle remained. With the rest of his diplomatic delegation behind him, he waited at the entrance until it opened, and he stepped outside, a smile as blinding as his suit on display, cheerfully waving to those in attendance as he stepped down to the tarmac.

El Presidente had arrived in Ribamar, and he'd be sure those present would remember every detail.
 

Natal

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Aeroporto Internacional Roberto Delgado, Ribamar, Reino Unido da Beira
16/02/2022, 1032hrs

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The plane landed with a thump and then slowly taxied up on the tarmac, where the welcoming committee was situated. The Diplomatic Terminal was microscopic compared to the civilian ones and the military one, further afield, but this morning it was probably one of the most crowded. The welcoming committee, made out of a bunch of delegates and other nameless bureaucrats, was headed by Prime Minister Oscar Agustinho Passos, and by the minister of foreign affairs, Lisandro Campos de Sá. They were joined by General Fernando Maia, the commander of the Ribamar Garrison of the Royal Armed Forces, who was heading the military honour guard standing at attention.

As the plane stopped its movement, the photographers started flooding the environment with the sounds of the snapped photos, with blitzes being seen from time to time. Both Passos and de Sá were used to it but they knew that San Jose, even if it was a nation that spawned from the ancient Sollegan colonial empire, unlike the Andros Isles or Natal, which were born out of good old Beiran imperialism, was a friendly nation, and probably in its history, Palmira and Ribamar were the closest ever, both in the past and in the present.

Aides from the guard came forward and prepared the red carpet, from where the plane's stairs will land, and the honour guard has lined up, in its traditional uniform. A military band started singing a welcoming march, as the plane's doors opened and El Presidente made its appearance in his pure white suite, with only the sash being the colourful element on him. Prime Minister Passos and Foreign Minister de Sá came out to welcome him, and after some hand shakes, and some group photos, the ministers took El Presidente and his delegation through the airport terminal and into a motorcade, with the destination Palacio Verde, in central Ribamar, about 30 kilometres away, if not further. Passos used his time to talk with El Presidente as he knew that everything needed to be done as quickly as possible, for they had a quick and late addition to the program.

"Your excellency, it is an honour to have you again in Ribamar. The United Kingdom has always been a close friend, a cousin, if not a brother to the Grand Plurinational People's Republic. Especially now, as international relations are bocoming more and more tense, with the imperialist forces always preying on the innocent, as you say, the Global Exploitation Conspiracy, works at its highest productivity and efficiency to see the free peoples of the world subjugated," he said as the motorcade started its drive, and an aide in the limousine offered each of the men a glass of Cachaça, for the discussion to have a better flow.

"I know you and I met during the Pannonian Crisis," Passos continued as he took a glass and he toasted it with the others. "But this time, its not about them, it's about us, San Jose and Beira, working together, and celebrating our ancient collaboration and our great friendship, which became a tradition. That is why, I know that this is a very... unorthodox space to do this, as we are moving, in a motorcade, not in an office, but there have been some changes to the program. As you know, you have been invited to hold a speech in the Cortes Gerais and that will be the main event of the visit, but a recent addition simply had to be added up. His majesty, King Manuel insisted that he wants you to visit the Royal Palace, which is part of the same complex as the Palacio Verde, for lunch. I know it hasn't been planned, and talked about before, but his majesty insisted and we hoped that you and your delegation will be open for it," he said.

"But regarding the proposition... I know Beira, San Jose, Gran Occidentia, the Scanians, maybe even Tianlong and Luzaide are working together in... pretty much reacting to what is happening in Gallo-Germanian. What me and his excellency, senhor de Sa here are proposing, is that at least, before the others fully join, that Beira and San Jose should sign a Friendship Treaty. I am ready to propose an ease of commerce tariffs, as I know that the Josefino government is quite protectionist, hence why the easening, not the complete disbandment, but also there will be more to that, such as experience exchanges both within the military, with common drills, and within the universities, so that our peoples can end up working together more and more. The idea isn't that as to showing the world, that while Gallo-Germania might be a powderkeg, the nations around the Thaumantic are always open to cooperation, friendship, solidarity and peace," he said, waiting for the Josefinian reply.
 
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Josepania

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Executive Motorcade, Ribamar, Reino Unido da Beira
16/02/2022, 1040hrs


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El Presidente José David Constanza sipped on his Cachaça and listened intently to Prime Minister Passos, all the while appreciating the sweet taste of the Beiran liquor. It reminded him of Josefino rum, and although he would always proclaim his country's famous alcohol as the superior drink, this was giving a very respectable showing on his taste palate. That was partly why, when Prime Minister Passos mentioned the last-minute change in plans, the Josefino statesmen responded with delight rather than annoyance. Even without a pleasant drink in hand, his spontaneity and impulsiveness would've made him agreeable to such changes, but now this was further enhanced.

"Primer Ministro Passos, I would be delighted and honored to lunch with Su Majestad King Manuel! For the time I've been able to observe him as a Head of State, he has consistently shown himself to be superior to the crowned heads of Europe in his genuine love and respect for democracy and the people. I must admit, many times I've been concerned he would feel himself incorrectly lumped into my irritation and frustration with the rest of the oppressive monarchies. I am relieved to see, once again, he understands his uniqueness and holds no hard feelings, just as Beira has shown its own uniqueness. Please relay to him my enthusiastic acceptance and gratitude he can spare time for me."

"As for the other matters, you are right: el Nuevo Mundo Libre too often finds itself reacting to the shenanigans, destabilization, and aggression from el Viejo Mundo Corrupto, specifically Gallo-Germania and the autocratic imperialist agents of the Global Exploitation Conspiracy that dominate that unfortunate region. But Ribamar and Palmira especially have a special, familial bond between us, one of cousins that hold the light of liberty in one hand and shield it from the forces of darkness with the other." He paused to take another sip of his drink. "Therefore I personally am open to a firmer Treaty of Friendship between el Reino Unido y la República Popular Plurinacional, though alas it is not solely up to me anymore. My powers are officially abdicated to the Josefino people."

He then swiftly held up a reassuring hand, "However, I can pledge to you that I shall do all I can to encourage the people to endorse such a common sense treaty of further military cooperation and cultural exchange, including the easement of tariffs between our great people. Such restrictions, as you surely know and understand, are meant to shield the people from exploitation by imperialists who will use any and every trick in the book to plunder that which rightfully belongs to us, but among trustworthy friends such as yourselves, these restrictions are, I concur, unnecessary."

He then eased back into the cushy leather of his seat, appreciating the comfort and luxury provided to him, "I trust that, likewise, Beira will continue to be more willing to openly rebuke and reproach these autocratic monarchies in their efforts to turn the clock back centuries to the time of imperialism and exploitation, not just of foreign peoples but of their very own. There are two separate evils to be found in this world: that of active harm done towards the innocent, and that of passive acceptance of such harm. Beira is off to an excellent start with their initiative towards legalizing gay marriage, an initiative I pray passes the Cortes Gerais, but more must be done to show the forces of evil that they cannot, and will not, succeed. Not while we draw breath and call ourselves a free people."
 

Josepania

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Fehrbellin, Rheinbund
02/03/2022, 1529hrs


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El Presidente José David Constanza gazed outside as the Josefino executive jet began to descend to the runway, catching up to the sun that was slowly setting on the horizon. Behind him was Ribamar, a place that had a passing resemblance to home given the cultural similarities in food, drink, and women, and lingual similarities that made interaction with each of the three far easier and in some ways more interesting. Below him was a place that was much more different: Rheinbund. The people, he had heard, also loved good food, good drink, and good company, but were a little bit more reserved about it than the more openly hedonistic Josefinos, to say nothing of the bombastic and flamboyant El Presidente. In Ribamar, he had a little bit more freedom to be himself, as he and the Beirans were essentially cousins but in Fehrbellin he had to behave himself a bit more, as he was a truly foreign guest.

He still dressed the part of course: stark white suit with white fedora, black shoes and belt providing a notable contrast, with the colorful presidential sash draped over his shoulder. Like before, he intended on making a splash and an impression with the Rheinians, because firstly it was simply his personality and default mode of operation, but secondly and deliberately he intended to lean into being a foreign guest, an object of fascination for citizen and government official alike. He was a walking meme, as the kids tended to say on Twatter and DagerroGram, and he'd be damned if he'd go against what the people loved to see from El Presidente regardless of their political inclinations.

As the plane taxied to a halt, he stood, took a final shot of his Josefino Libre, and plastered his most dazzling and charming smile on his face as the plane doors opened and he stepped onto the stairway heading down, smiling and waving at the assembled crowds and media regardless if they were cheering, booing, or simply observing in silence. He was the center of attention regardless, and that's always how he liked it.
 

Rheinbund

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Fehrbellin, Rheinbund

Chancellor Hans-Georg Lauritzen was 62 years old, and in some perspective that was visible. His hair used to be black, but now it was white. There were also some wrinkles in his face. But his black eyes and his way of walking clearly showed energy. He was 1.95 meters tall and quite musculous, and he stood dead straight. One hour fitness training was part of his daily routine, and was only skipped in the case of emergencies.
Two years ago, he succeeded the 74 year old Chancellor Dr. Stephan Röpke, who was more or less an intermediate figure who had to stabilise the Christiandemocrats after a dramatic loss of seats in parliament in 2018.

Lauritzen waited for the Josefino plane to arrive, together with Minister of Foreign Affairs Gustav Kohlschreiber. The latter was quite a bit younger: 52 years. His hair was still black, but started to grey. He was 1.80 meters tall, and also he spent one hour a day in the gym.
Both wore anthracite grey suits, white shirts, black shoes and plain-coloured ties. They knew that El Presidente would suck up all the attention, but they were prepared for that.

President Constanza walked down the stairs in an energetic pace and was greeted by the Chancellor and the Minister of Foreign Affairs.

"Good afternoon, Mr. President," Chancellor Lauritzen said with a smile. "Welcome to the Rheinbund."
 

Josepania

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Fehrbellin, Rheinbund
02/03/2022, 1538hrs


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El Presidente was a youthful man, thirty-seven years of age, and this combined with his attire presented a very stark contrast with the Rheinian dignitaries that stood at the bottom of the stairway waiting for him. The Chancellor himself was nearly twice the Josefino's age, and the Foreign Minister was almost old enough to be his father, although the resemblance would've been nonexistent. With a cheery smile he approached the Rheinians and, his translator in tow, reached out to shake their hands.

"My friends, thank you for inviting me to your lovely country. I've little doubt I will enjoy my far too brief stay here." he declared in passable Rhenian German. His Josefino accent still showed, and the vocabulary was somewhat halting and hesitant, as though his command over the language was still shaky, but nonetheless he was able to declare it confidently enough to satisfy all but the pickiest and stingiest of the assembled.

A brief exchange of pleasantries led the statesmen to the executive motorcade, where El Presidente would be escorted to his residences, his luggage and aides close behind him. Nonetheless, aside from a translator he was the only Josefino allowed to be in the same car as the Chancellor and the Foreign Minister. "My, how events escalate beyond our wildest dreams sometimes... the Tarusans stir and threaten God knows what in the European Forum again, and here we are trying to enjoy a moment of peace and relaxation. Tell me, mi amigos," President Constanza began, his Josefino slipping out for the briefest moment in a vain bid of comfort before settling back to his Rheinian, "How do the Rhenians do it? How do they manage to weather the seemingly constant storms in Gallo-Germania like we Occidentians must in the face of a hurricane? How do you stay sane when warmongers, imperialists, and otherwise cranky nations stir up trouble in the rhetoircal neighborhood?"

As he asked his question, his eyes darted around the interior of the car looking for a drink he could help himself to. One could never be sure if El Presidente was one-hundred percent sober at any moment, though the way he was in public one could scarcely believe the man could be truly intoxicated. He was a walking paradox, and he loved it.
 

Rheinbund

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Fehrbellin, Rheinbund
02MAR2022, 15:39


"Well, Mr. President, it was rather strainful during the Pannonian civil war. We received one million refugees last year due to the war actions, and nowadays people are still fleeing from Former Pannonia to us, mainly from Csengia, but also from the Patois Republic. We kept the war efforts themselves out, however. The reason why we did not intervene is, that the situation was very unclear from the beginning. It was not clear who the good guy was and who the bad guy. Furthermore, both Leuthonia-Thüringäu and Tarusa jumped into the conflict very quickly. Soon it was a mess that we could not clean up on our own. At this moment, we have the 'luck' that the conflict is taking place higher up north, but even then we are concerned," Chancellor Lauritzen said while the motorcade drove towards the city centre of Fehrbellin and the government quarter.
"As it stands now, the Rheinbund itself does not have to fear from Tarusa and its allies, but we do have an opinion on the current behaviour of Tarusa and the HFE. We don't think that those two countries went to the EF to solve the matter, but just to be able to say after a possible intervention against Leuthonien-Thüringäu that they did put their case forward at the EF, but that the EF did not reach a consensus (ignoring the fact that they themselves prevented the consensus to emerge)."
 

Josepania

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Fehrbellin, Rheinbund
02MAR2022, 15:39


"Well, Mr. President, it was rather strainful during the Pannonian civil war. We received one million refugees last year due to the war actions, and nowadays people are still fleeing from Former Pannonia to us, mainly from Csengia, but also from the Patois Republic. We kept the war efforts themselves out, however. The reason why we did not intervene is, that the situation was very unclear from the beginning. It was not clear who the good guy was and who the bad guy. Furthermore, both Leuthonia-Thüringäu and Tarusa jumped into the conflict very quickly. Soon it was a mess that we could not clean up on our own. At this moment, we have the 'luck' that the conflict is taking place higher up north, but even then we are concerned," Chancellor Lauritzen said while the motorcade drove towards the city centre of Fehrbellin and the government quarter.
"As it stands now, the Rheinbund itself does not have to fear from Tarusa and its allies, but we do have an opinion on the current behaviour of Tarusa and the HFE. We don't think that those two countries went to the EF to solve the matter, but just to be able to say after a possible intervention against Leuthonien-Thüringäu that they did put their case forward at the EF, but that the EF did not reach a consensus (ignoring the fact that they themselves prevented the consensus to emerge)."

Fehrbellin, Rheinbund
02/03/2022, 1541hrs


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El Presidente found himself half-listening to Chancellor Lauritzen as he explained Rheinbund's noble efforts to stay out of the quagmire that was Gallo-Germania, and especially the former Pannonian region. He could feel the buzz from the Josefino Libre he had sipped on the plane starting to wear off, and no drinks appeared to be in sight within the car, something unheard of for the hedonistic Josefino statesman. He obviously didn't want to be rude, or at least too rude, in asking where the booze was kept in the car, but he was starting to have trouble concentrating, even when the Chancellor pointed out that Tarusan and Frankish antics in the European Forum were at best an excuse for an upcoming invasion, a sentiment President Constanza otherwise agreed with. Or, at least, he would if he didn't have more pressing matters on his mind.

"I fear you are right." He started, still trying to semi-subtly search for any source of liquor in the car, even a wine cooler would've done the job at this point. "The Tarusans and Franks have a history of using sweet diplomatic words and love of peaceful negotiations as an excuse to gaslight the world into believing that they are not at fault for being imperialistic warmongers. We've seen it in Pannonia, we saw it again in Bourdignie, and we're seeing it now in Lethonia. I'm hopeful our representatives can avert war at the last minute, but we must be ready for the nonsense these agents of the Global Exploitation Conspiracy are about to unleash..."

Finally, he couldn't take it anymore, "Mi amigos, please excuse me, but do you happen to know of the best beer hall in Fehrbellin we could stop off in? I find myself parched, and have been looking forward to meeting the Rheinian people and sampling your world famous cerveza for the entire flight over. I know it's a bit of a breach in protocol, but I'm certain the Fehrbelliners would love the surprise visit."

Really, he was just looking for any excuse to keep the buzz going. He was on vacation, he might as well act like it as much as his statesman aura (for what it was anyway) would allow.

OOC: I'm intending on using Time Warp Shenanigans © to be able to keep El Presidente in Rheinbund and get into some mischief while also having him move onto Pelasgia and get involved in even MORE mischief. Keep your eyes on the dates and fasten your seatbelts kiddos.
 

Josepania

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Propontis, @Pelasgia
11/03/2022, 0945hrs


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Most of the time for flights, El Presidente José David Constanza was not a fan, to say the least. Beyond simply wanting to have a perpetual buzz, he never fully got used to the idea of flying around in a loud, metal tube tens of thousands of meters in the air going who knew how many kilometres an hour. It was confining, and especially during moments of turbulence that claustrophobia seemed to creep in ever so subtly to make the experience all the more jarring, literally and figuratively. This morning was different, however, as he was giddy with excitement.

Thus far the trip had been relatively mild. He had behaved himself thoroughly in Beira and relatively speaking compared to what he was capable of in Rheinbund. It was unusual for El Presidente to behave himself, and though he was setting a good, respectable example for himself and for his people, it was boring beyond belief and almost as stifling as flying on a damned airplane. However, through his secretarial staff he was able to pick up rumors that Proponts would be different, and more specifically Chairman Ioannis Drakos was different. The public persona of Comrade Drakos was one of a brutal dictator, at least according to his detractors, who was too serious for his own good and too dangerous to relax around. In private, however? The gossip painted a far, far different picture, one that El Presidente could not help but be intrigued and overwhelmed with curiosity by.

Beyond establishing closer informal relations with the Pelasgians that could, in theory, lead to more official ties between the two socialist states, President Constanza was hopeful that he was finally, at last, have a chance to truly unwind and bring some of that full and unashamed Josefino hedonism to Pelasgia and see what delights, legal and illegal alike, they could offer him. So when the plane touched down and he began straightening out his now iconic blinding white, stereotypical Occidentian suit, he did so with a genuine, anticipatory smile on his face.

This, was going to be fun. By god he'd make sure of it.
 

Pelasgia

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Propontis, Pelasgia
11/03/2022 | 09:45

Comrade Marshal Ioannis Markou Drakos, Chairman of the Council of State, General Secretary of the Socialist Workers' Party, and Chairman of the Supreme Military Council of the Pelasgian People's Republic was a stern man. He had spent some the last forty years holding the reins of a state unlike any other in the world; many had died trying to climb the horse of Pelasgian statecraft--but Drakos had tamed it, made it his own, and remade it in his image for some four decades. Of course, such a man was ruthless, for he could not afford weakness. Everything, from his ultra-traditional and formal display of his relations with his family--particularly since his wife's passing--down to his usual choice of attire (the Generalissimo's dress uniform) was not one bit inviting or relaxed. He was the rock upon which all Pelasgians could lay the foundations of their lives, in stability and security, and against which the efforts of all those assailing the People's Republic would fail.

Yet, it was precisely because he had led such a life that Drakos was eager to meet El Presidente: the one other strongman in the world to start with nothing and rise to making the presidency of a mighty nation into his personal mount. Underneath the fanfare of marching bands and honour guards, underneath the stern handshakes and official greetings, behind all the official welcoming ceremonies, which exuded the same air of officialdom and severity that tended to characterise all Pelasgian ceremonies, there was this lingering feeling of excitement. As soon as the two men found themselves at the back of a luxurious limousine, Drakos could finally reciprocate his counterpart's smile.

"So, Comrade Constanza," he started, his elderly face gleaming for the first time since his second great-grandson had been born some five years ago. "I hear that you are a man who appreciates the pleasures of life. Is that true? For, if so, Pelasgia has much in the way of pleasure--and we Pelasgians love enjoying ourselves while we work."

The motorcade carrying the two men sped past the main highway exit to downtown Propontis, instead heading for the Palace of Selymbria--the old imperial summer residence a couple dozen kilometers outside the city, which had been converted into an official working retreat for the leadership of the People's Republic. There, much fun awaited the two men.

"I heard, for instance," Drakos explained, "that San José boasts some of the finest cannabis on Europe. Yet, we in Pelasgia always boast of the hemp and hashish of the Archipelago--banned on penalty of death, of course, but still widely produced by our islanders, and very much in demand, I assure you. As for alcohol, Pelasgia's territory north of the Propontine straits is the home of malvasia grapes, the ancestor of most white wines in Gallo-Germania. And, of course, let us not forget life's greatest pleasure: women. Plenty of beauties of all kinds, since we're at the crossroads of two oceans and two continents. Most importantly, perhaps, they can be motivated to grant us their youth and beauty without need of commitment. Prostitution is legal in our fair country, after all. Legal and regulated, since ancient times." He paused to offer his counterpart a cigar, made from western Pelasgia's finest tobacco, before continuing in a snarky tone. "I guess you could say that I am Pelasgia's pimp-in-chief."
 

Josepania

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Jose
Propontis, Pelasgia
11/03/2022, 0947hrs


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El Presidente laughed at the self-deprecating joke, and accepted the offered cigar, his smile now positively beaming with unabashed anticipation, like a child seeing all the gifts stacked next to a birthday cake. "You have heard correctly, Camarada Proxeneta en Jefe, and I am delighted to learn that you are a man of the people with similar tastes."

Taking in the scent of the cigar with visible appreciation, he leaned forward to accept the lighting of his cigar, inhaling the smoke and enjoying an immediate rush of pleasure that rivaled the same which came from the tobacco of the Frankish Queen Emma Isles. "You, more than any other leader I have met so far on this journey, be they a monarch, a prime minister, a chancellor, or a foreign minister, understand exactly why I am here. If your weed, wine, and women are anything like this cigar, you will have already convinced me that Pelasgia must stand beside San José as equally important purveyors of paradise."

He took another drag and let out the smoke with an appreciative sigh as the motorcade sped down the highway to the den of debauchery that awaited both leaders. "Do you believe in God, Camarada Drakos?" President Constanza asked, somewhat rhetorically as he continued, "Some prophets of socialism proclaim religion to be an opiate of the masses, and therefore something to be regarded as an addiction that distracts the people from the plight of the working class. They become militant atheists as an over-correction to the exploitation of the faithful by the church and follow Marx as their god instead."

El Presidente paused to ponder his words, then continued, "I have a different view: God created gifts such as the marijuana plant, the ripened grape, the pleasing form of a human regardless of gender, and many other pleasures on this earth. And He created these gifts for mankind, all of mankind, not just the privileged and noble elite who exploit others, to enjoy and through such, worship His Glory in allowing us heaven on earth. Do we socialists not fight agents of the Global Exploitation Conspiracy to ensure everyone can enjoy the fruits of their labors, the paradise we create on earth?"

He smiled and held back some laughter as he could feel stirrings of anticipatory pleasure within him, thinking of all of these pleasurable things, unashamed of how it may have begun to look. "Just as you should be regarded as Pelasgia's Pimp-in-Chief, perhaps I should be proclaimed San José's Priest of Pleasure?"
 

Pelasgia

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Propontis, Pelasgia
11/03/2022 | 10:00

Drakos laughed heartily, roaring like an elderly boar. It had been long since he had met a man of such homour and intellect at once. "Oh, but I agree, my dear friend, I agree. As an Orthodox Christian, I am expected to prepare for death; and as a Pelasgian, I am expected to love life. Who gave me life? God, of course. God, who wishes me to enjoy all the pleasures He put on this earth. As I always say, God is a master architect and a master comedian."

The car passed a small chapel, once used by the servants of the imperial family in Selymbria, and now serving the local townsfolk. "Say, for instance, why tear that down? Every summer, the locals come here to celebrate the feast of Saint Phanourios--their dances, their drinks, their wares, their foods, their... youthful love. They all fill this place with excitement. The same occurs in every Pelasgian town at midsummer. Are we truly freeing these people if we ban such things? Nay, we must indulge them! We are fighting precisely to preserve this way of life from the capitalists and the imperialists."

The motorcade pulled into the palace's inner courtyard, allowing the two leaders to exit their vehicles and enter straight into the palace's core. Almost instantly, they found themselves the palace's banquet hall--"converted for our use" as Drakos explained to El Presidente as he opened the door. "I thought we could clear our minds while working--mix our enjoyment of the world's fruits, while doing the work ordained for us by His providence."

A scantily clad maiden, some twenty or so years old and most likely drawn from one of Propontis' finest modelling agencies, greeting the two leaders at the door, with a tray of wine glasses in hand. "Welcome, Comrades," she said. "Would you like a drink to quench your thirst?"

"It's an original Malvasian white," Drakos pointed out. "My personal favourite, especially if resinated as is the custom here." He offered his guest a toast: "To further integration between our Great Revolutionary Nations! May we enjoy gifts such as these forever--together!"

As the maiden handed El Presidente his drink she started taking off her clothes.

"Say, Comrade Pleasurer," asked Drakos, himself taking another drink from the tray the woman had set aside. "What would you say Pelasgia sold you its oil at a premium--in exchange for an exclusive supply contract and some preferential trade treatment? On the side, I can have my men work out a smuggling deal for different kinds of weed with yours. With all those ships going back and forth, who would notice? I really need to try the stuff you make at San José."
 
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