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Elbener Zeitung -- Online Edition

Elben

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Elbener Zeitung, the newspaper of record of the Kingdom of Elben.

A CONTROVERSIAL WOMAN
Lotti Degurechaff describes a woman's rise through the ranks

Military editor Erwin Holst interviewed controversial Bergenheimer General Lotti Degurechaff at her headquarters in Midweis to discuss her thoughts on women in the armed forces of her country.

Erwin Holst: Thank you for receiving me today, General Degurechaff. Elben is a country with universal conscription for all physically able men with women able enlist in non-combat auxiliary services. What kind of role do you see for women in the military? Support roles? Roles in combat that do not demand brute strength such as pilots?

Lotti Degurechaff: Mmm, I have never identified myself as a feminist. I think anyone who can achieve what the role demands should have that role. Your will is more important than your junk. As the first woman to join the Jagdkommando, I can confirm that brute strength is not the sole qualifier of a combat role. If you think of yourself as a woman you’ll always fail. You have to exceed all limitations and expectations, and believe you are more than human. A smile.

EH: Would you describe your philosophy in life is purely one of a will to power? Do you read philosophy? Any preferred reading?

LD: My favorite philosophy book is 7 Highly Effective Habits. I am aware of more… esoteric material on the subject, but I have seen little cause to believe there is anything mystical about the universe; they say there's no atheists in foxholes, but what kind of god puts men there in the first place?

EH: Circling back to the role of women, have you ever found yourself in a situation where you felt unable to fulfill your role as a soldier? In combat, there are always tricks one can use when against someone bigger and stronger, but in other jobs of the infantry, not so much. Lugging gear? Carrying wounded? Long term endurance where studies have shown women's bodies are just not as able to keep going as men's?

LD: It is true, that there is an upper limit that a frail female body simply cannot reach, a height at the absolute maximum that a prime male might reach. In such situations, I have found it helpful to rely on performance enhancers to push beyond natural limitations when necessary. Of course, that is only in the extremes. Most men can't even reach that situation, let alone women.

EH: How have you worked to overcome male instincts to protect women and promote good order in the ranks?

LD: A little laugh. I have not experienced much in the way of any male instinct to protect women, my dear. I have found that it was easy enough to present as a sort of weaker male, and when challenged, to hold my own in such a situation. I have been fortunate to have understanding officers who have respected my achievements, and to have a precedent that I followed. The first female general in Bergenheim was not me, but Andrea Grossman in 1972.

EH: General, we appreciate your time. Thank you.
 

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Elbener Zeitung, the newspaper of record of the Kingdom of Elben.

JUSTOSIA LEGALIZES HOMO UNIONS
Families in peril as rogue kingdom upends natural order

In a whirlwind legislative session, the Kingdom of Justosia's senate has passed a so-called "equality" bill granting homosexuals the ability to form legal unions while "leaving marriage alone." Legislator Felipe Gaul has promised not the raise the issue again for four years. Father Pawel Jablonski of the Elbener Institute of Christian Family Life in an email interview declared that any move to create "civil unions" for homosexuals was an attack on marriage, regardless of the sophistry used.

"Marriage is precisely a civil union, it is the way society has for millennia provided for a man and a woman to come together to build a family, create and raise children, and pass on their goods to the next generations. Pretending that civil unions are something less than marriage is an exercise in cognitive dissonance. Mark my words, the progressives of Justosia will be beating on doors every day over the next four years saying there's no difference between civil unions and marriage, so why not just let homosexuals get married."
 

Elben

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Elbener Zeitung, the newspaper of record of the Kingdom of Elben.

SUPERSONIC TRANSPORT SYMPOSIUM HELD
Gathering at Royal Institute discusses SSTs in light of new techologies

A symposium wrapped up today at the Royal Institute of Advanced Engineering in Krawcow that discussed supersonic transports in light of new technological breakthroughs in computing and aerodynamics. A series of top experts submitted papers, including how computer control would allow for unconventional designs that would be beyond human control to now be considered for the advantages they offer in speed and fuel efficiency.

Elben's nascent aerospace industry began around work done by independent researchers under the aegis of the Royal Institute and has made use of the computer technology resources found there, including the huge supercomputers that allow for designing computer modeling, eliminating the need for wind tunnels and expensive prototypes. The symposium was held to bring together researchers and industry leaders to help further growth and work towards Elben's first indigenously designed aircraft.
 

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Solaire Airspace would be interested in working with Elbener companies to further develop supersonic transport, in particular perhaps a new kind of passenger vehicle that could allow for supersonic and rapid travel between Bergenheim and Elbe. Midweis to Krackow in an hour...we'd enjoy developing such an opportunity.

-Ari Solaire, CEO
Solaire Airspace
 

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Raimer und Rathenau Flugzeugwerke would also be interested in a cooperation to develop supersonic transport further. The possibilities are huge and should be explored.

Joachim Rieger, CEO of Raimer und Rathenau Flugzeugwerke
 

Elben

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Elbener Zeitung, the newspaper of record of the Kingdom of Elben.

AUGUSTINE ISLANDS COOPERATIVE ANNOUNCES NEW INITIATIVE
Co-op seeks bids for efficient transport of products to Gallogermania

In a letter sent to various shipping concerns, the Augustine Islands Cooperative, a union of plantations that seeks to secure low-cost ways of exporting its members' products, announced it is seeking bids for new, more efficient ways of transporting goods from the islands to Gallogermania.

Franz Manstein, governor of the Islands and owner of a member-plantation of the cooperative, told Elbener Zeitung in a telephone interview that "current contracts are coming up for renegotiation and we think it is time to see if we can get a better deal and help our economy."

Plantations in the Augustine Islands grow a significant amount of tropical agrocultural products that are consumed by Gallogermania including spices, natural rubber, and palm oil.
 

Elben

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Royal Institute of Advanced Engineering
Aerospace Division
Krawcow, Elben

On behalf of the Elbenese aerospace industry, we wish to thank those who have expressed interest in collaborating with our industry leaders in furthering development of a supersonic transport concept. We encourage them to arrange to send representatives to the Royal Institute. There they may enter into discussions with representatives of Elben's aerospace industry in order to reach some kind of formal understanding.

CC: Solaire Airspace, Raimer und Rathenau Flugzeugwerke
@Bergenheim @Eiffelland
 

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Lübecker Getreidegesellschaft mbH.
Lübeck, Eiffelland-Retalia


We are specialised in transporting and trading agricultural products all over the world. We would like to bid on contracts for transporting agricultural products from the Augustine Islands as well. We can offer you a highly reliable service and the best possible care for your products. We understand the demands of the people who will buy your products. We think that we will be the best partner in your export of agricultural products, rubber and palm oil.


Raimer und Rathenau Flugzeugwerke
Trier, Eiffelland-Retalia


We thank the Royal Institute of Advanced Engineering for offering us this opportunity. A team of scientists and engineers is on its way to Elben to discuss the development of supersonic transport.

Joachim Rieger, CEO of Raimer und Rathenau Flugzeugwerke
 

Elben

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Elbener Zeitung, the newspaper of record of the Kingdom of Elben.

FLASH: BLAST IN NEUBATTENBERG, CAUSE UNKNOWN!
At least 15 dead, 7 critically wounded; search underway for more victims

Earlier today there was a blast at a house in Neubattenberg. Police sources say that at least fifteen are dead. An unknown number of wounded have been taken to local hospitals. Emergency officials confirmed they are tending to seven criticals. At this time police continue to search the ruins of the house and the surrounding area for victims amid the debris. Police spokesmen refused to comment on the source of the blast. Early reports from the site indicate that it was possibly some kind of car bomb. Reporters, before being escorted from the scene, were able to see that the house had been almost completely destroyed. Surrounding structures had been severely damaged.
 

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Government Royale de Justosia
We send our heartfelt condolences to the good people of Elben. May Yahweh bless their souls. May these probable domestic terrorists be brought to justice.

Felipe Alejandro
Royal Palace Foreign Ministry Liaison Department
 

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A pair of Jews living in a ghetto in eastern Elben upon reading the message from Justosia:

"Disgusting how they keep using His name that way. It is blasphemy to try to pronounce Y-H-W-H!"

"Pretenders, goyim who think they are special!"
 

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Elbener Zeitung, the newspaper of record of the Kingdom of Elben.

BLAST IN NEUBATTENBERG CONFIRMED AS BOMB
Forensics specialists determine bomb was inside a car beside the house

Police spokesmen at the interior ministry confirmed that the blast in Neubattenberg was the result of a car bomb. The car was located beside the main house of an estate in a residential district on the outskirts of town. Police had arrived at that location for reasons that remain unknown. The spokemen did confirm that two of the deceased were civilians and the rest were police officers killed in the line of duty. All told, twenty-three are now listed as dead, two remain in critical condition, five are stable, and several others were treated for minor wounds and released. Sources close to the investigation have indicated the bomb bears all the hallmarks of Nekmet involvement. Security around the investigation remains tight due to the "high value" of the civilians who were killed. Their identities remain unknown at this time.
 

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Elbener Zeitung, the newspaper of record of the Kingdom of Elben.

SHIPPING URGED TO CHANGE ROUTES AS OUTBREAK GROWS
Main routes from Augustines to Elben across Thaumantic in danger

As ports in Occidentia and Engellex continue to fester with outbreaks of the so-called Engellpox, maritime authorities in Elben have issued warnings to Elben shipping interests to avoid those ports. It is possible that should the outbreak become worse, shipping may be encouraged to change direction and make the journey by way of the Long Sea and the Kalahari Sea.

The foreign ministry has also issued travel advisories for a host of countries in Occidentia, urging Elbeners to defer travel until the health crisis is over.
 
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Elbener Zeitung, the newspaper of record of the Kingdom of Elben.

BERGENHEIMER MOVIE PROVES TO BE A HIT IN ELBEN
Farmer Johan Saves Christmas says more about Bergenheim than Elben

Though Advent hasn't even arrived yet, Bergenheim's latest contribution to world cinema, Farmer Johan Saves Christmas, is proving to be a hit in Elben. The movie's hero finds a way to save the holiday in his local village while navigating a series of crises at different points, including on his farm, at the local beer hall, and finally at Midnight Mass. The movie is not finding its audience in its home country, where according The Bergen Times, "Its heavy reliance on slapstick and grossly offensive national stereotyping of Elbeners is simply no longer to moviegoer's [sic] tastes."

Elbeners though have flocked to see the movie. Audiences have found the movie to be charming and critics have been eager to point out that the display of what Bergenheimers see as Elbeners' main traits is a fascinating look into how provincial Bergenheim itself is.
 

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Elbener Zeitung, the newspaper of record of the Kingdom of Elben.

ELBENER VOLUNTEERS TRAVEL TO FIGHT COMMUNISTS
Organized in Caledonia, the Elbener Brigade will soon travel to Loago to join the fight

Over the past few weeks, men have been traveling to Caledonia to join the ranks of the Elbener Brigade, a German-language unit forming a part of a Caledonian task force that will soon travel south to fight the LLC in Loago. Composed of army veterans who have fulfilled their duty to His Majesty and are now free to do so, the brigade's mission is to take the fight to the communists and bring justice to those who would kill innocent civilians such as the Lerner family who died aboard an airliner flying out of Maseru Airport this summer.

"Let's go get those bastards and give them a good pounding." Young Hans, a few years out of the army, has traveled to Caledonia on his own initiative after hearing about the need for volunteers from his buddies from his time in the service. "Commies, atheists. No value for human life."

Amid the volunteers is Father Georg of the Elbener Brothers of St. Dumas. Having received permission from his superiors, he is going along to serve the young men's spiritual needs. "These brave men, they're going to need all the help they can get. Once the fighting starts, the spiritual element, faith in their Church and their God, will sustain them during the hard times. Communion, Confession, Last Rites, these things will see them through in this life and on into the next if it comes to that."
 

Elben

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Elbener Zeitung, the newspaper of record of the Kingdom of Elben.

OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
By order of His Majesty the King, Fidei defensor:

Having admitted without repentance before the Court of Inquisition to spreading heresy, allegiance to the proscribed Masonic Lodge, and conspiracy to undermine the Kingdom of Elben,
And turned over to the secular arm for the administration of justice,
On the Aschefeld beyond the City Gate of Eschenbach one Johan Rosencranz shall be burned at the stake in one week's time.
May God have mercy on his soul.
 
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Oneida

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9 Ningemes CXCIX | 24 November 2018
His Majesty King Friedrich Maria IX
The Kingdom of Elben
Eschenbach, Elben

Dear King Friedrich Maria IX,

A guiding principle of any civilized society must include holding the value of human life in high esteem. It is the right to life that is the most fundamental right to be guaranteed to man either by their creator or the society in which they take part. There can be justified, civilized way to deny a human being their most basic, fundamental right. In Auraria, the right to life is enshrined in our founding principles and has guided the Republic ever since.

It is in such light that the Aurarian Government must condemn the actions of the Kingdom of Elben in the decision to execute Johan Rosencranz in a method as barbaric as being burnt at the stake in a public setting.

There can be no just, righteous Court that would hand such a sentence under any crime. We implore that your Majesty commute Rosencranz’s sentence to something more befitting the modern era. I implore that your Majesty live closer to your God and save this man’s life.

All the best,

Manuel Sanabria
President of the Republic
 

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Government Royale de Justosia
The Holy Kingdom of Justosia fully condemns this barbaric, archaic form of Capital Punishment. It is entirely possible for a nation to deal humane execution whilst keeping its footing in faith. We urge Elben to step out of the Dark Ages.

Felipe Alejandro
Royal Palace Foreign Ministry Liaison Department
 

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Ministreileachd Gnothaichean Cèin

The High Kingdom of Caledonia is appalled by this condemnation to death through a method so savage and archaic as burning at the stake. While we understand and are actively fighting to ensure that the influences of the Freemasons are limited or outright absent from the shores of Caledonia, we do believe that burning at stake a mason is a very dystopian
exaggeration that very much strays from the original teachings of our lord and saviour.

The High Kingdom, as a fellow Catholic monarchy urges the Kingdom of Elben to switch the condemnation from capital punishment to something more lenient. We believe that a fine and reeducation would be more acceptable and home that Elben does not forget that God is also merciful, not only just.

Signed,
on behalf of His Apostolic Majesty, High King Mael Coluim V
and the people of Caledonia, and Cabaon,
Lùcas Ròs
Minister of Foreign Affairs
 

Warre

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We would never expect the great Kingdom of Elben to be so irrational to jump immediately to death as the punishment for these charges. You are a great nation and people who have followed the will of god for so long that it is surprising you would refuse more compassionate punishments for a christian man. We didn't bat an eye when Justosia threatened to execute communists for their beliefs, because it is a rogue government at best, but Elben can agree surely a life sentence, reeducation, or exile to a country which will offer Mr. Rosenkranz asylum (such as we will), are more reasonable responses.

May god, jesus, and all the saints guide you in this endeavor:
Signed: Edward MacArthur, Chief Assistant to the High King of Warre
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Non Serimus, Metimus.
Ní Dhéanaimid, Buanann Sibh.
 
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