National News Eiffelland (from 2009 until 31 July 2020)

[Serenierre]

Commissariat for External Relations
The People's Republic welcomes the new outreach efforts by the Eiffellander government. The Francophone community is a vibrant presence across the world and we welcome the proposed constitutional recognition of the Francophone community.

 

[Rheinbund]

"I don't think I have accomplished enough for such an honour"
King refuses honorary doctorate from Serenien university

After the announcement by the Serenien Université de Villesen that it bestowes an honorary doctorate on King Albrecht, the press office of the Royal Palace announced that the King will refuse the honorary doctorate. The press release indicated that the King "thanks the Université de Villesen" and "feels honoured to a high extent by the gesture of the Université de Villesen" but "does not think that he has accomplished enough to receive such an honour".


Car licence plate structure in Eiffelland, Helgoland and Rügen changed to Retalian format

Per the first of April, the car licence plate structure will change for cars sold in Eiffelland, Helgoland or Rügen. Before the union, the licence plates on Eiffellandian cars were issued by the municipalities. The first one, two or three characters always indicated the municipality where the owner of the car lived. Cars registered in Trier had the T as first capital, cars from Bremen the B, cars from Ingelheim the I, cars from Lübeck the L etc. Smaller municipalities used two or even three characters to indicate the municipality.
In Retalia, the car licence plates were issued by the provinces. The first two characters indicated the province, and then followed combinations of two characters and six numbers.
These practices continued after the union, but the national government and the governments of Helgoland and Rügen decided to adopt the Retalian format. The car licence plates will be replaced at the first annual inspection checking after 1 April 2020, and this will be done for free.
The Helgolander licence plates will start with HL. The Rügener licence plates will start with RG. The following character combinations will be used in the provinces of Eiffelland:
Harz: HZ.
Rheinland: RH.
Obereiffel: OE.
Niedereiffel: NE.
Sauerland: SL.
Emsland: EM.

The following character combinations are currently used and will remain in use in the provinces of Retalia:
Tacino: TC.
Graubund: GB.
Föhr: FR.
Vallese/Vallèse: VL.
Wurano: WR.
Razzoli: RZ.
Lipari: LP.

The spokespersons of the national governments and the governments of Helgoland and Rügen reassured us that this will not be an April fool.

 

[Justosia]

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The Milenio Imperio Palace
Government Quarter
Avalon
​

February 4, 2020
5:40 PM Justosian Time

TO: HRM King Albrecht von Dietz-Hadamar
FROM: H.I.H.

Your Majesty,

I have received your sincere communique. It warms my heart. I know that you know my father. He sends you his love as a friend during his convalescence. Indeed our family & royal house are going through significant change. The timing of this change though isn't what pains me. Frankly my sexuality was Avalon's worst kept secret.

I am pained to, by laws of our national church, which none can wear the crown without being anointed by, having to forfeit my claim to the Throne of Falcons. I remain a Christian. I will pray much on my path forward as I labour to be myself. Thank you for your well wishes.

Sincerely,

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Carlos Luis Francisco III
Prince of Justosia

 

[Rheinbund]

Proposal for constitutional change submitted to Unionstag and Landestage Retalia, Helgoland and Rügen

The government presented the proposal for a large constitutional change to the Unionstag and the Landestage of Retalia, Helgoland and Rügen. The reason for this constitutional change is to give the people of Retalia, Helgoland and Rügen more direct influence on national politics. Currently the parliament chosen by the people of Continental Eiffelland functions as the national parliament. Furthermore, the Chancellor and the ministers are mostly from Continental Eiffelland; the only reason why there are two ministers from Retalia in the cabinet, is that they are on two of the four offices of ministers which have to be approved by all the five parliaments. The plan is to change this situation by giving Continental Eiffelland its own Landestag and by having the Unionstag elected by all the citizens of Eiffelland-Retalia.
The new construction of the parliaments will look like the following:

1. Each Land, also Continental Eiffelland, will get its own Landestag, with competences assigned to the Länder. The Landestage from Helgoland and Rügen will consist of 100 members each (like already the case), the ones from Retalia and Continental Eiffelland will consist of 200 members each (like already the case in Retalia.
2. The Landestage will be elected by means of a 100% proportional representation system. This was already the case in Helgoland and Rügen, but this means a fundamental change in Retalia, because that will be the end of the district system there.
3. The current division in provinces of Retalia and Continental Eiffelland will remain in effect, with the exception of the Retalian province Vallese, which will be divided into the provinces Valèse Charente and Vallese Limate. Each province will get a provincial parliament consisting of 100 members, chosen by means of 100% proportional representation. This is a change for Retalia, because previously the members of parliament from districts of the same province also acted as the provincial parliament.
4. The Unionstag will consist of 800 members. Fifty members will be elected by the citizens of Helgoland, 50 members will be elected by the citizens of Rügen, and the remainder will be elected by the citizens of Retalia and Continental Eiffelland. The members of parliament for Helgoland and Rügen will be elected by proportional representation. The members of parliament for Retalia and Continental Eiffelland will be elected by proportional representation per province, where the number of seats a province gets will depend on the number of valid votes casted in that province compared with the total number of valid votes casted in Retalia and Continental Eiffelland together.
5. The Unionsrat will consist of the ministers of the national government and the ministers of the governments of the Länder. The national budget as well as matters concerning defence, foreign affairs and the structure of the educational system will have to be voted on in both the Unionstag and the Unionsrat; all other national matters only need to be voted on in the Unionstag.

The new province Valèse Charente will get the character combination VC as the first two characters on the car licence plates, and the new province Vallese Limate will have the character combination VL as the first two characters on the car licence plates.

An interesting question is, how this reform will work out when rolled out in regions with a different structure in the political movements. Where there are eight political movements in Helgoland, Rügen and Continental Eiffelland, there are only five in Retalia. All four Länder have sociodemocratic and environmentalist parties, and the connection between the far-right Volksunion and the Retalische Volkspartei are clear as well, but how to couple the economicly centrist and socially extremely progressive LDP, the economicly centrist and socially very conservative PCL, the economicly centre-right and socially slightly conservative CDV and the economicly rightwing and socially progressive FDV with the centrist Liberale Reformpartei and the economicly rightwing and socially conservative Democatische Union?
Three things could happen here: Either the members of the LDP, CDV, FDV and PCL split up and join the Retalian Liberale Reformpartei and Democratische Union, or the members of the Retalian Liberale Reformpartei and Democratische Union join the LDP, CDV, FDV and PCL according to their preferences, or nothing happens at all and all six parties are going to run for seats all over Eiffelland-Retalia.
Representants of all the centrist, centre-right and righwing parties are discussing with each other on how to move forward. It is not clear yet what is going to happen.

 

[Furlanìe]

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Office of the Confenonîr
To the attention of the Eiffello-Retalian Government​

We welcome the Government attempts to better include our Tuburian brothers into the union political scene, and we hope these changes will find enough support to be enacted.

Confenonîr
Prime Minister

Cosàn Bernars​

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[/div]

​

 

[Rheinbund]

Aussenministerium — Ministero degli Esteri — Ministère des Affaires Étrangères
Trier, Eiffelland-Retalien — Treviri, Eiffellandia-Retalia — Trèves, Eiffellande-Rétalie

We thank you for the compliments. We do everything we can to make sure that each Eiffelloretalian counts.

Gianluigi di Gravesano-Carone, Minister of Foreign Affairs and Extraordinary Ambassador of the Italophone minority in Eiffelland-Retalia

 

[Rheinbund]

Proposal for constitutional change approved by all parliaments after amendment

The proposal for the constitutional change has been approved by all the parliaments after the algorithm for the number of seats per province in Continental Eiffelland and Retalia was amended. In the original proposal, the province with the smallest number of inhabitants would get only 11 seats in the Unionstag. Because this was considered very low, it was decided to grant each province minimally 30 seats.


Schwarzenberg, Pietas and Universität der Stadt Trier use artificial intelligence to develop new medication

Artificial intelligence is already in use for diagnosing patients and scanning through lab data, but up to now it has not been used for developing new medications. The Eiffelloretalian company Schwarzenberg and the Universität der Stadt Trier are the first ones to achieve this task: They used artificial intellingence to develop a new medication against obsessive-compulsive-disorder. Normally the process from laboratory to clinical trial lasts five years, but Schwarzenberg and the Universität der Stadt Trier managed to do this in 12 months by using algorithms that checked a number of possible compounds against an enormous database of medical data.
Dr. Med. Walter Peters from the Pietas indicated: “We used these algorithms for a psychiatric disease, but in fact it can be used for any other kind of disease.”
The first Phase I study with the new medication will be conducted in Eiffelland-Retalia. Meanwhile, Schwarzenberg, the Pietas and the Universität der Stadt Trier are working on medications to treat cancer and cardiovascular diseases by using these new alrogirthms. Peters: “Artificial intelligence will have the potential to enhance and speed up the process of the development of new medications. It could very well be that by the end of this decade all the new medications will be developed with artificial intelligence.”


Medictronics and Université d’Etat de Lausanne working on implantable artificial kidney

End-stage kidney disease is a medical condition that has a large impact on the patients involved. Apart from the lucky ones who get kindey transplants, they are forced to go to the hospital every two days to undergo a dialysis. As of today, there is an enormous shortage in transplant kidneys.
The Eiffelloretalian company Medictronics and the Université d’Etat de Lausanne announced that they are cooperating for the development of an implantable bio-artificial kidney. They already managed to implant kidney bioreactors containing functional human kidney cells into pigs. Still a lot of research needs to be conducted, but Medictronics and Université d’Etat de Lausanne consider this a large step forward.


OOC: Sources:

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[Rheinbund]

Researchers Université de Lausanne develop new group of antibiotics

Resistance to antibiotics is a growing problem that becomes more and more acute. As a result, research groups all over the world are looking for new groups of antibiotics. The research group around Jean-Luc Roux at the Université de Lausanne announced the development of such a new group.
The first class of antibiotics, the Penicillins, worked by preventing bacteria from building up cell walls. This made the bacteria physically weaker, leading to the death of the cell. Roux and his research group went the opposite way and developed an antibiotic that blocks bacteria to break down their cell walls. As a result, these bacteria cannot grow and cannot divide; actually they are locked up in their cell walls. This effectively stops cell growth.
Trials in mice revealed that this new class of antibiotics are effective against mutlresistant Staphylococcus aureus bacteria. It is not known yet when the tests in humans will start.


Helau or Alaaf? What is correct? Carnival in Eiffelland

Carnival in Eiffelland is a fest with many rules and many traditions. Many things are the same throughout Continental Eiffelland, Helgoland and Rügen. The Büttereden (humoristic verses exclaimed by a person standing in a tub), dressing up, the Sitzungen, the cavalcades, they are all the same. But there are also differences.
First the name of the fest. Is it Karneval, Fasching, Fastnacht or Fastelovend? It depends on the location. In Köln, basically the Capital of Carnival in Eiffelland-Retalia, it is called Fastelovend, like everywhere in the southern half of the province Rheinland, where the people speak a minority language called Ripuarisch. In the northern half of Rheinland, the province Harz and the parts of the Retalian province Graubund where the people celebrate carnival, it is called Fasching. The people in Obereiffel and Niedereiffel call it Karneval, and the people in Sauerland, Emsland, Helgoland and Rügen call it Fastnacht.
Then the carnival greet. Alaaf or helau? In principle, the carnival greet is helau, unless in Southern Rheinland, where it is alaaf.
And of course the cavalcades. On which day do they take place? In many cities, like in Köln, it is on Monday (Rosenmontag). Other cities organise it on Sundays. But maybe things are about to change here. This year, it was doubtful in some cities whether the cavalcade could take place due to bad weather conditions. In the end, the cavalcades could take place, but the authorities are already planning for next year. It could very well be, that the cavalcades will always take place on Sundays, so that it will be possible to postpnone it to the Monday or even the Tuesday when needed.
One tradition is the same throughout Eiffelland: Making fun of the authorities. The Royal Family, the Government, the local goverrnments, they are the victims. Also recent events are made fun of. On top of that, foreign nations and foreign rulers are not safe, either. Gunnishmen, Kadikistani, Sylvanians, Polesians, Sereniens, everybody is made subjects of the jokes. Especially the rulers of communist and socialist countries are made fun of.
Carnival will end in the night between Tuesday and Wednesday, at midnight. Then on Ash Wednesday, all Eiffeloretalians will go to Church to get an ash cross. In Eiffelland, Helgoland and Rügen, but also in the part of Eiffelland-Retalia that does not celebrate Carnival: Retalia.

 

[Rheinbund]

20-25 February 2020

Fragments of a couple of Sitzungen from carnival associations throughout Eiffelland, Helgoland and Rügen

“The Polesians. Of course we know them for their drugs, and for the prostitutes with fake breasts they trade all over the world. But they also have an artistic side. Believe me, they are real artists. What they get out of their photocopiers, it’s real art. Phantastic drawings, exactly like the original. But that’s not the only thing they get out of the photocopier; it’s also money. Most Polesian banknotes do not come from the Polesian Central Bank but from everybody’s photocopiers. Every Polesian has a photocopier at home. And they not only copy their own money, but foreign money as well. But that is not where their copy-mania ends. As you know, they also copy cars. Even their photocopiers are copies. Buying a Folxsmashin copy car with copied money from a photocopier that in itself is a copy, can it be more Polesian? Nobody knows where their copy-mania will end. Don’t be surprised if Moravchik himself returns as a Polesian copy.”

“So according to the government of Calidia, countries do not become observer states of the ODS out of free will. But what else is it if a country like Pelasgia asks to become an observer of the ODS? Do the Calidians think that we hypnotise the countries around us so that they want to become observers?”

“Ostmark. How does it really go there? Grasser intends and attempts to feed the people. But don’t dare to voice criticism. Don’t dare to indicate that the people in Eiffelland-Retalia are better off than the people in Ostmark. Don’t dare to listen to other music than Grasser likes. Don’t point at environmental problems. And don’t say that things can be done better in a different way than Grasser dictates. And so the country stumbles to the next crisis. The perfect example of everything going wrong in Ostmark is the OMW‑19. It is equipped with a motorcycle engine from the 1950s that can’t even fulfil the environmental regulations from the 1970s, but Grasser puts it on the streets in Ostmark. And don’t say that all those OMW‑19s pollute the inner cities and cause all kinds of lung diseases. The days of sorrow are over, but the days of terror started when Grasser rose to power.”

A man dressed up as a Kadikistani officer marches on stage. He speaks German with a fake Kadikistani accent, and he smokes a cigarette. An older man runs to him, clearly agitated.
Older man: “Können Sie die Zigarette ausmachen? Hier ist Rauchverbot!” [Can you put out that cigarette? Smoking is prohibited here!]
Kadikistani: “Was?”
Older man, angrily shouting: “Machen Sie die Zigarette aus! Rauchverbot!” [Put that cigarette out! No smoking!]
Kadikistani: “Rauchverbot …” He puts the cigarette out. “Blyad!!! The first German word I learned in this country was Rauchverbot! The first Tiburan phrase I learned in this country was vietato fumare! The first French phrase I learned in this country was défense de fumer! Whereever I come, I see the word Rauchverbot! In the Trierer underground: Rauchverbot! In the S-Bahn: Rauchverbot! In the train: Rauchverbot! In government buildings: Rauchverbot! In stadiums: Rauchverbot! In theatres, cinemas, pubs, cafés and restaurants: Rauchverbot! Sometimes even on the street: Rauchverbot! … Rauchverbot Rauchverbot Rauchverbot! Everywhere Rauchverbot! And then a package of cigarettes costs 10 Mark! Ten Mark! Ten times as much as in Kadikistan! And then you are even planning to increase the price to 12 Mark! And for what? For taxes! But not only there! You’re even going to increase the sin taxes on sugar, meat and fats! You Eiffelloretalians have a health fetish! You all try to turn 100 years old, but for that you are taking away everything for which you want to turn 100 years old! And then the alcohol! Beer, wine, heavy taxed gin, korn and whisky, but no proper Kadikistani vodka! Not even the Polesian copy of it, only some Ostmarker vodka! Blyad!!!”

“How do you like my newest puppet ensemble?” The man upholds a puppet with many threads on its hands; the threats lead to 50 smaller puppets.
“Whow, this must have been a huge job.”
“Indeed, it was. I tried to turn Mladzic, the Kadikistani, the Crotobaltislavonians, the Polesians and the Ostmarkers into one ensemble.”
“Whow, that is a job to do!”
“It is. But I have come very far. Of course this here …” he holds the main puppet “… Is Mladzic. These twenty puppets …” he holds twenty small puppets which are attached to the hands of Mladzic “… are the Kadikistani. These 10 puppets are the Crotobaltislavonians, these 10 puppets the Polesians and these puppets the people from the People’s Republic of Bourgogne.”
“Then you are already very far.”
“But not ready yet. Whatever I do, I can’t attach the Ostmarkers to Mladzic.”
“And I know why. Let me show you how to do this. Here is a puppet of Grasser. What you need to do, is attaching the puppets representing the Ostmarkers to the threads coming from Grasser’s hands. Then you attach Grasser to one of Mladzic’s threads, but in a special way. You have to grab Mladzic’s thread with Grasser’s right hand, and then you have to attach it to Grasser’s left hand, then the same procedure again for the threads to Grasser’s feet, and then attach the last thread with Grasser’s left hand to his right hand.”
“But why in this way?”
“Because that is how it went in reality as well. First Grasser turned the Ostmarkers into his puppets, and then he made himself a puppet of Kadikistan.”


OOC 1: Yebat is the Russian word for f*ck according to this website:

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.
Rauchverbot, vietato fumare and défense de fumer are respectively the German, Italian and French phrases to indicate that smoking is forbidden.

OOC 2: Post changed on 27FEB2020 23:17 CET: "Yebat" replaced with "Blyad".

 

[Remuria]

OOC: Yebat is a verb.

You'd better off with blyad, pizdets, da nu nakhui which are disapproving exclamations.

 

[Rheinbund]

OOC: Thanks. I adapted it.

 

[Rheinbund]

29 February 2020

RETALIA OGGI

When ratio clashes with machismo

After his conflict with the Eiffelloretalian minister of foreign affairs Di Gravesano-Carone, President Breckenridge of Sylvania is not a popular man in Eiffelland-Retalia. The harsh jokes on him during Carnival clearly indicate that. But what is it that makes the man so unpopular in Eiffelland-Retalia? More in general, why do urban Eiffelloretalians have such an issue with the kind of man that President Breckenridge is? In order to answer this question, it would be good to look at the differences between Eiffelloretalians and the Sylvanian president.

One of the main differences between people like Breckenridge and Eiffelloretalians on the other hand is the attitude towards physical violence. Continental Eiffellandians consider it an evil that should only be applied when there is no other option. Retalians, Helgolanders and Rügeners are more lenient towards violence, but they share the following thought about physical violence with the Continental Eiffellandians: When you start with violence, you admit that the arguments supporting your case are worse than the arguments against your case. From that perspective, physical violence is the tool of people without arguments. Quite a lot of people with higher education degrees are also of the opinion that it is the tool of stupid people; some, mainly students and scholars following the highest level of secondary education, even say that loudly.

Associated with that attitude towards physical violence is the thought that physical violence is usually used for imposing bad ideas. Such ideas may be beneficial to the people imposing them, but are mostly harmful to society as a whole, or at least to large parts of society.
Physical violence is not rejected in general, however. It is accepted as a reaction to physical violence; furthermore, Eiffelloretalians do realise that sometimes there is no other option than physical violence. A revolt against a bad government is acceptable, and people in a hopeless situation getting angry are understood. For instance, the Eiffelloretalians understand the fact that the Ostmarkers revolted in October 2018, and also understand the fact that Volkskanzler Grasser tries to build a society where the people have their basic needs like food, a proper housing, education and health care. What they reject, however, is the oppression of people and the lack of democracy in Ostmark.

Another difference between President Breckenridge and the governing people of Eiffelland-Retalia on the other hand, is a result from the previous career. Breckenridge spent a large part of his career in the armed forces. The vast majority of the Eiffelloretalian governing people first went to university or followed a different kind of higher education, and then worked in trade, industry or healthcare, for the government or non-governmental institutions, or as lawyers or other kinds of free‑lance academics. This kind of careers require and result in different kinds of skills and mindset than a career in the armed forces: There is more focus on negotiational and analytical skills in business and the government than in the hierarchical structures of the armed forces. As a result, Eiffelloretalian politicians are different kinds of people than President Breckenridge and Kadikistani politicians.

It is not the case that people with military careers can’t go into politics in Eiffelland-Retalia. Examples are the Eiffellandian Minister Jung, who used to be a submarine captain before he became state secretary of defence in 2014, General Aliswiller who was the governor of Retalia for a couple of months after the Seven Days War, or currently Minister General a.D. Kranzer who is currently minister of Defence. Breckenridge and most Kadikistani politicians would never obtain leading positions in Eiffelland-Retalia, however. “Fighting for your country” gives you respect in Eiffelland-Retalia, but is in itself not enough evidence to an Eiffelloretalian that you have the skills to be a good politician. In Breckenridge’s case, his crude behaviour would also be a large hurdle to take. On top of that, his verbal attack against Minister Di Gravesano-Carone feeds the suspicion that he does not think about the people he killed during the intervention in Ulster but is only proud of having served in that intervention. Of course that would make him impossible as a politician. Maybe he could ground his own political party and gain a lot of seats, but given the proportional vote system that already governs Eiffelland, Helgoland and Rügen and will soon govern Retalia as well, he would never obtain an absolute majority and would always be held out of the coalition negotiations.

In any case, President Breckenridge’s verbal attack against Minister Di Gravesano-Carone shows that he does not understand the notion that a war can have been fought for nothing if the aftermath of the war is handled in the wrong way. That disqualifies him as head of state, because his neglect for the aftermath of the war could make him spoil the opportunities after a won war to create a peaceful situation and in that way sow the seeds of the next war. Then you loose the peace after having won the war, and the soliders who died in that war died in vain.

His verbal attack against Minister Di Gravesano-Carone did gain President Breckenridge some popularity in Eiffelland: As object of mockery. He was depicted as an aggressive gorilla and an operetta general in many cavalcades, and was put on stage during several Carnival Sitzungen as a clueless operetta general who continuously shows his war scars to make clear what a tough guy he is, and who is only interested in killing enemies and obtaining medals.

 

[The Federation]

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THE OFFICE OF THE DIRECTOR OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS
DEPARTMENT OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS, 122 KARLSTAD STREET,
Charleroi, Clarion, C.R.S., 35322-2334​

Normally a response to an such article would not be warranted, but it I think it's important to correct the record on a few statements and defend my President and a good friend. First and foremost this publication is incorrect in stating there was a war of words between the President and Minister Di Gravesano-Carone. No such things happened, the President simply sent out a general social media statement regretting that such comments had been made by the minister. If anything the minister's gripes should be with myself, Katalin Faraday, as it was I that took it upon myself as allowed by my station as Director of Foreign Affairs here in Sylvania. However I understand that perhaps Eiffellanders are so foolish as to believe the propaganda that the news media puts out within its own borders.

Another thing to dispute is that the President relishes violence and is some sort of brutish uneducated man who has only a love for war and force of arms. This is also untrue. President Breckenridge flew an F-21 Super Longsword during his service in the Continental Navy, he retired with twenty years at the rank of Rear Admiral (RDML/O-7), his rank could have been higher if he had not put off promotion to keep flying fighters with his men as squadron commander.

Prior to entering the navy the President attended the University of Charleroi at the age of 18 where he spent four years earning a Bachelors degree in electrical engineering before being selected by the Naval War Academy in Baldwin having been endorsed by his congressman back in his hometown of Twin Echo. During his time in the Navy after the war in Strathclyde the President continued his education to earn his masters degree. To compare him to the politicians of Eiffelland who spent their adult years learning in their ivory towers is the height of arrogance. After his service time President Breckinridge served his community in the Continental Congress and was elected by his fellow congressman as President of the Continental Congress before his presidential career was launched by the succession crisis that struck our nation last year.

We assume that this will not mean much to the leadership or people of Eiffelland-Retalia who in their own ignorance must resort to childish effigies of those they dislike to distract them from the failures of their own leaders and to turn their minds away from the weakness that Eiffelland has shown in the face of the growing communist threat that lies upon their borders. Indeed we see this weakness through the author of this article who would excoriate a man who has served his country and yet praise the virtues of communist Horst Grasser who's only quality is that he happens to be slightly more competent than the leaders of the Ostmark that preceded him.

In the end it will be the lack of self awareness and general weakness in character of the typical Eiffellander government official that will lead to the death of Eiffelland-Retalia as a country. You can attempt to play both sides, broker deals, backstab your own allies, run away in the face of conflict to save your own skin, and grovel with those who are stronger than you for only so long before you are snuffed out. So we shall take your insults and your childish antics, because you have been reduced to chattering, servile little creatures, not fit to breath the same air as the brave men and women who stand up for themselves and their people.

May God have mercy on your souls,

Katalin Faraday
Director of Foreign Affairs

RENDER NOT UNTO TYRANTS
THE CONTINENTAL REPUBLIC OF SYLVANIA​

 

[Rheinbund]

RETALIA OGGI

Retraction of opinion article “When ratio clashes with machismo” published on 29 February 2020

On 29 February 2020, we published the opinion article “When ratio clashes with machismo” in our newspaper. Unfortunately, this opinion article was based on the false presumption that the twatter messages it was based upon had been published by President Breckenridge of Sylvania, while in fact they had been published by Director of Foreign Affairs of Sylvania Katalin Faraday. This is a grave mistake that should not have happened. As a result, we retract this opinion article.



Open letter to President Breckenridge of Sylvania

Dear President Breckenridge,

Upon the letter from you Director of Foreign Affairs Katalin Faraday, we checked Twatter, Indeed, the dispute was not between you and Minister Di Gravesano-Carone, but between Director Faraday and Minister Di Gravesano-Carone. It is a grave mistake on our side that we did not check Twatter thoroughly enough before publishing our opinion piece. This should not have happened. Our apologies to you for this.

Best regards,

On behalf of the Board of Editors

Lorenzo Berini, Editor in Chief



Open letter to Director of Foreign Affairs Katalin Faraday

Dear Director Faraday,

Please. You are the Director of Foreign Affairs of a prominent democratic country. In such a position, you should show good manners and polite language. Please leave the scolding and screaming to the fishwives on Charleroi’s fish market, because that bad language doesn’t become you.

Furthermore, why the remark on ivory towers concerning people who went to university to study instead of choosing for a military career? Twice even, once on Twatter and now a second time. This sounds like the jealousy of somebody who didn’t have the capacities to follow a university study.

You are also complaining about the way we described President Breckenridge. That was the result of not having checked Twatter thoroughly enough. That is a mistake we should not have made. We were wrong about that, for which our apologies.

However, we also have to conclude that our description of President Breckenridge’s character applies to you instead of him. Apparently it is you who are the brute, and apparently it is you who prefer physical violence above intellect. Also this you phrased twice. Both your spat on twatter and your letter to Retalia Oggi are a glorification of physical violence and a condemnation of intellect.

By the way, strange that you consider people who prefer to solve conflicts with words instead of violence childish. Apparently, you think that adults should solve their conflicts with their fists and not with words. A remarkable view on the world.

Regarding your remark on government propaganda, we do realise that it is busy around the politically centrist position in Eiffelland-Retalia: The Social-Liberals are centrist, the Sociodemocrats and the Greens are centre‑left, the Christiandemocrats and Market Liberals are centre‑right, and the Conservative Christians are slightly left of the centre when you only look at their economic stances. And indeed, also most newspapers are centrist, centre‑left or centre‑right. But suggesting that Eiffelloretalian news sources only spread government propaganda is based on false presumptions. We do point at governmental mistakes and corruption by government officials. It would have been good if you would have checked that.
We will refrain from discussing your unconditional devotion to President Breckenridge in the light of the definition of democracy — Two democracies bickering about which of the two is more democratic, well that would really be childish.

But in order to make you a better Director of Foreign Affairs, let us introduce you to the phenomenon nuance. You prefer to separate the world into black and white, but the world is not that dichotomous. There are many distinct tones of grey between black and white. Classifying all those tones of grey as either black or white may seem to make the world easier to understand, but makes things more complex from the moment that you can’t ignore the fact that that black is not 100% black and that white is not 100% white.
As an example, you say that we “praised the virtues of communist Horst Grasser”, but in fact we described the reasoning behind his deeds. That is something completely different from praising him. That is a nuance that a Director of Foreign Affairs should understand.

Finally, where do you base your claim on that Eiffelland and Retalia left their allies behind? Trivodnia was not a member of the Trier Concord, i.e. not an ally. What did happen, was the fact that the second Von Seydewitz administration made promises about the safety of Trivodnia that it could not hold without getting right of passage from our neighbourcountries. When Kadikistan invaded Trivodnia, that right of passage was not granted to us, and the Röpke Administration decided not to attack our neighbourcountries in order to reach and liberate Trivodnia. Furthermore, it decided not to conduct an amphibious assault on Kadikistan’s coast due to lack of equipment. In your book, that was cowardice; in our book (and in the books of our neighbourcountries), that was respecting the sovereignty of our neighbours and not loosing soldiers by sending them on a mission with a 100% chance to fail. This is a nuance that every politician should understand.
We do see that the governments of Eiffelland and Retalia made mistakes though, because they were totally unprepared for a war. The current government of Eiffelland-Retalia is correcting that mistake though. We will be better prepared for the next war.

For us not being “fit to breathe the same air as the brave men and women who stand up for themselves and their people”, we prefer to breathe fresh air anyway, so we don’t consider that a problem.

Sincerely yours,

Gianni Marcolli, member of the board of editors of Retalia Oggi




OOC 1: Please note that the Occitanian part of the seven days war was scrapped from the forum’s IC history.

OOC 2: The notification of retraction and the open letter to President Breckenridge were printed on the front page, and are shown prominently on the website of Retalia Oggi.

 

[Rheinbund]

Sylvanian and Pohjanmaan naval vessels gather together south of Morsum

On an extra press conference at the Chancellery, Chancellor Rheinfeld announced that there are a total of eight military vessels from Sylvania and Pohjanmaa south of the Eiffeloretalian island Morsum (south of Helgoland). The ships are in international waters, but the government is "puzzled about the reason why the Sylvanian and Pohjanmaan Navy decide to let their ships gather together in the middle of the world's most important sea trade route". "It is really not needed for the Navies of Sylvania and Pohjanmaa to place such a presence in the Claret Sea. The navies of Eiffelland-Retalia, Pelasgia and Ostmark are perfectly capable to keep the eastern part of the Claret Sea and the western part of the Hamar Sea safe," said Chancellor Rheinfeld.
The ambassadors of Pohjanmaa and Sylvania have been invited with emphasis to a meeting with Minister of Foreign Affairs Di Gravesano-Carone. Duriing that meeting, the importance of the Claret Sea as the most important sea trade route will be emphasized, as well as the need to keep that sea calm. It will also be emphasized that military actions like the one carried out by the navies of Pohjanmaa and Sylvania n the middle of the world's busiest sea strait is not a good idea.

 

[The Federation]

Private comments made by Director Faraday at the end of a classified cabinet meeting:

"Have you seen the latest news out of Eiffelland? They fret over a few ships while Kadikistan mobilizes its Hamar sea fleet. A press conference over a few ships! Can you believe it?!"

Director Faraday held her hand in front of her face as she laughed. "...No worries, I've instructed Ambassador Tomlinson to give the usual line. He'll listen to what they have to say and we will just continue ignoring it."

 

[Justosia]

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Office of the Foreign Minister
Government Quarter
Avalon
​

Sunday, March 15, 2020
5:40 AM Justosian Time

The Government of the Continental Empire is keeping a very close eye on this needless situation. There are few governments, nations in Europe that have earned the right to call themselves our ally. Even fewer our friend. We consider Eiffelland our friend still & express our solidarity at this time. God bless you. Viva Justosia.

Sergio Montez
Foreign Minister

 

[Rheinbund]

Aussenministerium — Ministero degli Esteri — Ministère des Affaires Étrangères
Trier, Eiffelland-Retalien — Treviri, Eiffellandia-Retalia — Trèves, Eiffellande-Rétalie

We thank the government of Justosia for its support and its kind words in this situation. We emphasize that the actions by the Sylvanian and Pohjanmaan Navies south of Morsum are unwise and destabilising. Furthermore, they have a negative impact on trade in general. The most important sea strait in the world is something to be kept stable. That is a task for the countries bordering it. Of course also military vessels have the right of free travel in international waters, but currently the Sylvanian and Pohjanmaan Navies are overusing and abusing that right.

Gianluigi di Gravesano-Carone, Minister of Foreign Affairs and Extraordinary Ambassador of the Italophone minority in Eiffelland-Retalia

 

[The Federation]

DEPARTMENT OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS - STATEMENT

Eiffelland has no right to tell other nations who is using and abusing a body of water, especially if these ships are in international waters. We condemn the Eiffellander government for manufacturing a panic over the affect that our ships have on trade in the Long Sea, which I might add is nil. Our ships will continue to use the Long Sea as we see fit in accordance with international maritime law. We have broken no laws and demand that the Eiffellander government stop acting like an overly excited child at the mere sight of a foreign warship.

What Eiffelland should be worried about is right now, Kadikistan is mobilizing their Harmar Sea fleet and is threatening Serenierre over a diplomatic spat, yet we do not see any panicked news releases or claims that the economies and trade of Eiffelland and other Long Sea nations are negatively affected with their ship movements. What is unwise is to lie to the world and your own people about the destabilizing affect of PEACEFUL movements through the seas of our world. Shame on you.

Katalin Faraday
Director of Foreign Affairs

 

[Imimoya]

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Secretary-General of the Organisation of Democratic States
Public Communication​

Dear Ministro degli Esteri Gianluigi di Gravesano-Carone and
Director of Foreign Affairs Katalin Faraday,

I wish I had written a different letter, but the situation bothered me to restore order in a sea full of confusion. It is my intention, since it is not necessary to continue with this escalescence, to invite the two sides to the dialogue as this escaletion is nothing but a great communication error. I am sure that neither the Organization of Democratic States nor the respectable Democratic Defense Initiative are eager to create a climate of instability and fear, and both promote in their own way, dialogue and good neighborly politics.

The United Kingdom of Eiffilland-Retalia, much less ODS promote the idea of having the right to the exclusive use of international waters. We recognize the right of all nations to use them in the same way, with the same rights and above all, duties. Duties that are often overlooked by non-transparent operators, who certainly are not the respectable DDI colleagues.

It hurts me, in my humble role, to remember that a clear communication would have prevented such an accident from occurring. A clear communication of intent is fundamental in these times, and allows us to warn and signal to civilian sailors the presence of exercises or military operations, in order to allow port authorities to establish new safe routes.

These are difficult times, times in which our neighbors threaten our existence every day with worrying military actions on our borders. For this reason, which is not an excuse or an admission of guilt, which does not exist because our member has not posed any threat to the safety of your vessels, he has acted only more energetically than usual.

Certain that the lack of communication of these maneuvers in peacetime is only a forgetting and not a show of force outside the territorial waters of the ODS, we invite you to continue your activities in respect of all the naval operators in the area , whether they are civil or not.

With best regards, we wish you a good navigation.

His Excellency the Secretary-General
Alfia Vepunia

​

@Sylvania @Eiffelland