News from Crotobaltislavonia

[Polesia]

Ministry of External Affairs

It is this exact kind of deliberately provocative and inflammatory commentary from the Crotobaltislavonian media, clearly directed by the Crotobaltislavonian government, which has prevented any progress on bilateral cooperation on issues such as the extradition of proven criminals.

Desperate to shore up some popular support, as it lacks any genuine democratic mandate, the regime of 'Big Brother' Raoul Farrago, the autocratic 'President-for-Life', would rather scapegoat minorities than address the real societal issues Crotobaltislavonia faces such as organised criminality and widespread drug use.

The Free State is always open to negotiation and diplomacy, however we will not be taken for fools or pushovers. If Crotobaltislavonia wants to move our relationship forward, it should drop the negativity and hostility and instead focus positively on areas of shared concern.

We want a peaceful and prosperous Polesian Sea region. In our eyes, and we are sure the rest of the world agrees, the biggest obstacle to such a goal is Crotobaltislavonia, not Trivodnia.

 

[Crotobaltislavonia]

Weekend Update
Border Guards Arrested
In a joint operation, agents of the Border Control and Organized Crime Control Units, assisted by GPU special forces, arrested over thirty Border Guardsmen in their barracks on the border with Ruritania. The arrests come after an investigation uncovered links between the arrested Guardsmen and the Nekmit crime syndicate. The GPU began looking into corruption within the Border Guards after the recent liberation of girls and women being held captive by Nekmit gangsters. The Interior Ministry refused to comment.

Forecast
Tonight: partly cloudy with a low of 27. Tomorrow: patchy fog then a slight chance of rain with a high of 41. Tomorrow night: partly cloudy with a low of 28. With Christmas approaching, it is not too late to show your holiday spirit by giving to Playthings for Kids. Look for collection bins wherever toys are sold.

Other headlines:
Where Is Big Brother?
Gangster "Queen" Victoria Hiding In Elben

 

[Crotobaltislavonia]

An elegant middle-aged woman appears sitting behind a desk. She has a long dark pony tail draped over a shoulder. "I'm Maria Garva and this is CBS Noon Roundup. Our top story this midday, this morning the Dear Leader met with soldiers who participated in yesterday's coup attempt."

The screen cuts to a clip of Raoul Farrago walking down a line of young soldiers who are beaming with pride from being in Farrago's presence. Farrago stops in front of one boy, says something, pats the boy on the shoulder, and then moves on down the line.

Maria in VO: "The Dear Leader thanked the soldiers for heeding his words, disobeying their illegal orders, and laying down arms. In a short statement after the meeting, the Dear Leader stated that Crotobaltislavonia and its gallant soldiers would no longer be pawns of the Yiddish Free State's conspiracies."

Maria back in the studio: "also making news this midday, CBS News is sad to report that General Franz Grossman, the longtime Chairman of the State Political Administration, committed suicide sometime last night. He was found at his desk by an aide this morning, dead by a gunshot behind his ear. A typed suicide note was found expressing General Grossman's shame for quote not putting an end to the global Yiddish banksters unquote. The Presidential Palace expressed condolences and said a replacement would be appointed in the days ahead.

"And now, CBS Noon Roundup's first look forecast. This afternoon will be cold with a high of 5. Tonight, mostly clear with a low of minus 8. More news on the way!"

 

[Khemia]

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[Crotobaltislavonia]

Maria Garva was looking immaculate as usual. But the confidence and complete belief in what she was saying was gone.

"Ladies and gentlemen," a glance down at her paper, "this morning, the Dear Leader Raoul Farrago announced he has invited, um, Kadikistan to deploy troops to, to Crotobaltislavonia. Ohhhh."

Maria looks away to compose herself.

"The Dear Leader said in his statement that, that Crotobaltislavonia is in the crosshairs of the Global Yiddish, oh my God... no."

VO: "Maria, are you alright? Cut to commercial."

 

[Crotobaltislavonia]

Nightline Edition
The Dear Leader Speaks
In an address given to The Shining Path Troop #01 in Banja Luka, the Dear Leader announced that construction will soon begin on a military base to house incoming Kadikistani military forces up to division strength. The base is to be located in the east on the border with the Yiddish Free State. The Dear Leader had this to say, "the base is only temporary, little ones, because partition is inevitable!"

Gangster Queen Organizing Monarchist Invasion Force
Elbenese TV has recently shown pictures of Victoria Sibenik, the former foreign monarch who was deposed by CBS freedom forces, organizing troops across the border in Elben. From the pictures shown, it would appear that Elbenese authorities have raided the nursing homes and schoolyards for recruits. Luka Sibenik, Jr., Vicky's son who recently surrendered to authorities had this to say, "child soldiers are deplorable. I won't blame our Kadikistani allies when they have to mow down the poor tots."

Purge Continue
Kadikistani forces and agents continue their sweep of Banja Luka. No numbers are available, but it is estimated over a hundred monarchists, Pochenkoists, and Radek-aligned reactionaries have been rounded up in the latest dragnet. The whereabouts of the prisoners are unknown and no formal charges have been filed at this time. For more information on the definition of state treason, there will be a special call-in show this Sunday night on the Information Ministry's radio channel, KKEZ 94.5, the Guiding Light.

 

[Elben]

For more information on the definition of state treason, there will be a special call-in show this Sunday night on the Information Ministry's radio channel, KKEZ 94.5, the Guiding Light.

"Hello! Long-time listener, first-time caller. I have a question about a book. My uncle came home from a trip abroad before Christmas and he had with him a book called Big Brother Said What?! and it had some not-so-nice things about Dear Leader Farrago. Could my uncle get in trouble for that?"

 

[Crotobaltislavonia]

"Hello! Long-time listener, first-time caller. I have a question about a book. My uncle came home from a trip abroad before Christmas and he had with him a book called Big Brother Said What?! and it had some not-so-nice things about Dear Leader Farrago. Could my uncle get in trouble for that?"

"Welcome, caller! We are glad you have decided to join the conversation. You have a good question that needs to be answered. Big Brother Said What?! is perfectly legal. Everything The Dear Leader has said or written should be heard or read by all loyal citizens of Crotobaltislavonia! They would truly be enlightened by the genius and insight of The Dear Leader's mind. Caller, stay on the line to speak with our in-studio political officer about your uncle. And now, a word from our sponsor, Cadre Cola."

 

[Crotobaltislavonia]

Afternoon Edition
The Dear Leader Will Attend Peace Conference
The Presidential Palace has announced The Dear Leader will depart Crotobaltislavonia this evening to attend international peace talks. The location of the talks was not announced and it is not known how long The Dear Leader would be out of the country. Sources within the Palace reported that General Eugraf Zhivago, the newly appointed Chairman of the State Political Administration, will oversee the government while The Dear Leader is away.

Dragnet In Banja Luka Complete
Officers of the State Political Administration, along with assistance from Kadikistan, have completed their round-up of State Enemies in the capital. The names of the arrested are not immediately available and their whereabouts are unknown. However, the SPA has said collective public trials will be held in the near future. It is expected the SPA will begin to move into the countryside soon to identify and arrest Yiddish criminal agitators who have sworn allegiance to the gangster Radek.

Bomb Blast Damages Police Station
A bomb blast has partially damaged the local police station in the town of Petrovo east of Banja Luka. No officers were hurt in the attack. Police suspect the bomb was in a backpack that was seen abandoned outside of the station immediately before the explosion. Four suspects have been detained for questioning and are reportedly cooperating with detectives. More detainments are expected in the near future.

Army Drills Announced
The Defense Ministry has announced the Army's 1st and 2nd Tank Battalions will conduct training drills along the border with Elben. Trains carrying the units' men, tanks, and other equipment have begin to assemble. The units are expected to move to the frontier over the next two weeks. The actual drills are not expected to begin until mid-month.

Forecast
A wind chill warning is in effect until noon tomorrow. This afternoon: fair skies and a high of -8. Tonight: clear with a low of -21. Tomorrow: sunny with a high of 8. Remember, exposed skin can freeze in minutes. Protect yourself from frostbite this winter. To learn how, tune into the Information Ministry's radio channel, KKEZ 94.5, the Guiding Light.

 

[Crotobaltislavonia]

A woman with short blonde hair and wearing a black bandage dress cut above the knee is standing in front a map of Crotobaltislavonia.

"Good afternoon. I'm Iva Stefanovic and this is CBS News. Our top story this hour is the movement of Kadikistani forces out of Banja Luka."

The map zeroes in on the capital city and shows symbols denoting military units.

"The Kadikistani 6th Mechanized Division continues to encircle Banja Luka in an impenetrable Ring of Force. With the capital free of coup-plotters and secure from outside attack, men of Kadikistan's 17th Regiment have been spotted departing the capital on Highway One. The troops' destination is unknown, but a source within the SPA told CBS News the troops have a quote date with General Radek unquote."

Iva walks from right to left across the screen as the map flashes south to show Bergenheim.

"Also making news this hour, Foreign Minister Maximilian Jedreck has arrived in Midweis, Bergenheim."

The screen changes to a clip of Jedreck descending from a plane and being met by functionaries and an honor guard. Iva in VO: "The Foreign Minister will soon meet with representatives from across Europe to mediate the current diplomatic crisis revolving around the Yiddish Free State's depredations against its neighbors, including Crotobaltislavonia."

Back in the studio, Iva is sitting on a stool with her legs crossed. "Next up, Nikola has our forecast for this weekend. Stay tuned."

 

[Crotobaltislavonia]

"Let's head out in the field where Nazario Capitani, Chief National Security Correspondent is embedded with the Kadikistani 17th Regiment. Nazario..."

The screen changes to a green image showing a man standing in a clearing. The image is pretty poor.

"Iva, the fighting has begun. The 17th made contact with an enemy patrol earlier this evening, about twelve klicks from the border with the Free State, and followed them back to their camp. After a fierce firefight in which nineteen of the enemy were killed, the Kadikistanis captured the camp and freed a number of women being held to serve General Radek's band of renegades. A number of children were also captured. At the moment, it's unknown if the children belong to the women or if they are child soldiers from Elben."

Iva in VO: "Nazario, any sign of General Radek or his command council? Can you say if any the dead were Yid or not?"

"Iva..." there is a gunshot and Nazario glances over his shoulder. "Iva, no sign of Radek or his inner circle. Several of the enemy dead appear to be Border Guards, who we know have turned traitor and form the core of Radek's forces. And one of the dead has Nekmit mafia tattoos all over his body. No Yids yet. But several Kadikistani soldiers have told me they can smell Yid and believe they are close by. Iva?"

On Iva back in the studio: "thank you, Nazario. Stayed tuned, we'll be right back."

 

[Crotobaltislavonia]

Nightline Edition
Troops Closing In
The Presidential Palace has announced that after a fierce firefight around the eastern town of Petrovo, Kadikistani forces are closing in on General Radek and the traitor's capture is expected in the next few days. The Palace also announced that Radek will be court martialed for insubordination, sedition, and desertion upon his capture. In related news, unnamed sources within the State Political Administration have revealed that Radek maybe a Yid whose real name is Yehudah Chaim.

Refugees Slain In Bergenheim
CBS News has learned a group of refugees attempting to flee into Bergenheim were shot down by Bergenheimer border security recently. The story of the indiscriminate killings has been circulating around the refugee community for the past few days. Details of the incident, including the number of dead, their identities, and the location of the massacre are unknown. There has been no confirmation from the State.

Other Headlines
Gunnish Forces Massing In Elben
Army To Replace Border Guards Along Frontiers
The Dear Leader Speaks About Marxist-Leninovism

 

[Thaumantica]

MINTCOM
Maritime International Relations Command
Message Intended for a Public Audience​

This League of Ostrovaks is deeply concerned by these reports of refugees being slain and massacred at the Bergenheim border and calls upon the international community to investigate the allegations immediately.

 

[Crotobaltislavonia]

Afternoon Edition
Coup Plotters Dead
The Ministry of Defense has announced the plotters of the failed Christmas Coup are dead and the rebellion is at an end. The plotters were hunted down by Kadikistani special forces while they were attempting to flee to the Yiddish Free State. Reports from the final battle indicate that the coup plotters committed suicide rather than be taken alive. Sources within the Ministry of Defense denied that naval units from the Free State violated Crotobaltislavonian waters.

The Dear Leader Speaks
In a radio speech, The Dear Leader proclaimed the virtues of Marxist-Leninovism and announced plans to begin reforming the economic fabric of Crotobaltislavonia. The Dear Leader did not give any details on his plans, but said he has already authorized the creation of the State Economic Administration to bring his vision into reality. The Dear Leader encouraged all Crotobaltislavonians to embrace the changes that are coming and trust that they will usher in a new era of morality and prosperity for all. The Dear Leader's words will be rebroadcast tonight at 7:00 on the Information Ministry's radio channel, KKEZ 94.5, the Guiding Light.

Forecast
A wind chill advisory is in effect until noon tomorrow. This afternoon: isolated snow showers and patchy blowing snow with a high of 5. Tonight: a chance of snow and blustery with a low of 1. Tomorrow: a slight chance of snow and then partly sunny with a high of 14. The Dear Leader says warmer temps are on the way later this week!

Other Headlines
Refugee Crisis Easing
Crotobaltislavonia To Proposal Final Solution
"Drago Pochencho: Apology To Crotobaltislavonia" Airs Tonight On Channel One

 

[Crotobaltislavonia]

Iva is sitting behind a glass desk in the studio. Behind her a map shows the border with Gunnland and Elben. "Let's head into the field where Nazario Capitani, our Chief National Security Correspondent, is embedded with the 1st Tank Battalion near the northern town of Foca. Nazario..."

The screen changes to show Nazario standing alongside a road while a column of tanks rumbles by. The entire scene looks cold, gray, and muddy.

"Iva, we're about six kilometers away from the border with Elben, just outside of Zone Two. As you can see, the 1st Tank Battalion is conducting a road march to begin manuevers against its sister unit, the 2nd Tank Battalion. Together, the two battalions add up to over one hundred tanks. Once in position, the two units will practice attacking each other. Observers from the General Staff will be on hand as referees."

Iva in VO: "Nazario, what does the Army hope to accomplish with these maneuvers?"

"Iva, the manuevers will keep these two units sharp. This has also been a good oppurtunity," the screen cuts to footage of soldiers eating with refugees and then playing football with children, "for social outreach. Yesterday, the troops visited a number of Elbenese refugee camps and handed out nylons and chocolates."

Back on Nazario as a column of infantry marches by. A few of the soldiers flash victory signs at the camera. "Finally, the General Staff believes the manuevers will show that Crotobaltislavonia is capable of defending itself, even in these uncertain times. Iva?"

Back on Iva in the studio: "thank you, Nazario. That was Nazario Capitani in the field with the 1st Tank Battalion. This is CBS News and we'll be right back."

 

[Crotobaltislavonia]

Afternoon Edition
Dear Leader Fetes Kadikistani Troops
This morning, all of Banja Luka turned out for an awesome parade of military might as Kadikistan's 6th Mechanized Division rolled down the Mall and into the newly rechristened Red Square. Once the division was assembled, a ceremony was held where the three Heroes of the Final Battle were honored and decorated with Crotobaltislavonia's highest military honor, the Double Cross. After the ceremony, Kadikistan's troops retired to their base camps for hearty meals while the senior officers were invited to join The Dear Leader for lunch in the Presidential Palace.

Nekmit Gangsters Hijack Bus
A gang of criminals associated with the Nekmit mafia syndicate hijacked a refugee bus last night near Laktasi. Reports from the scene indicate the criminals, including two women, were posing as refugees when they brandished guns and forced the bus to a remote area. Once there, several refugees were executed to intimidate the others. Valuables were stolen, including teeth with gold fillings from an old woman. The refugees were stripped naked, bound, gagged, and left for dead. Several perished before they were discovered by hunters. Authorities believe the same gang is responsible for three other attacks in the past two weeks. If you have any information, call the State Political Administration's Hotline at 1-800-CBS-INFO. Remember, you can remain anonymous.

Other Headlines
State Announces Nationalizations
Banja Luka Suspects Charged With State Treason
Dear Leader's Girlfriend Sighted At Fete!

 

[Crotobaltislavonia]

Afternoon Edition
Blud Trafficked Through BSD Camps
A leaked memo indicates the Organized Crime Control Unit has become aware of rampant Blud trafficking through Elben's BSD refugee camps and hospitals in Crotobaltislavonia. The memo notes increasing clashes between Nekmit-aligned gangs and local Yiddish mafia over imports and distribution. A portion of the memo was redacted, but anonymous sources state the gangs are heavily armed with weapons recently smuggled into the country, possibly from Trivodnia or Bergenheim.

Nationalizations Continue
Crotobaltislavonia continues it's efforts to implement the tenets of Marxist-Leninovism. Today, the State Economic Adminstration formed the State Control Corporation to own and operate all recent and future nationalized industries. The SEA will be the sole shareholder of the new SCC. All profits will be deposited into the State treasury and be used for the public good. A board of directors to lead the SCC will be appointed by President Farrago later this week.

Other Headlines
War Games Conclude
Some Refugees Returning Home
Foreign Ministry Voices Support For Gunnland

 

[Crotobaltislavonia]

Afternoon Edition
Kadikistan Sanctions Elben
The People's Republic of Kadikistan has economically sanctioned Crotobaltislavonia's northern neighbor Elben for breaking a treaty between the two countries during the late Christmas Crisis. The sanctions include both increased import and export tariffs on goods crossing the border with Elben. Asked for comment, a spokesman for Presidential Palace would say only that The Dear Leader is committed to open borders until all refugees have returned and will watch the situation closely.

Insurgency Heats Up
Yesterday, the State Political Administration added the Twentish German group "Das Reich" to its list of active insurgencies in Crotobaltislavonia. The SPA stated it has collected literature produced by the group espousing a "revolutionary reunion" of all Gallo-Germanic peoples under a Twentish absolute monarch. Sources within the SPA state "Das Reich" has no more than a dozen followers and that Operation Gemstone has been deployed to "liquidate the problem".

Other Headlines
After Warming Trend, Winter Returning
Peace Conference Drags On In Bergenheim
Coast Guard Breaks Record For Blud Seizures
Yid Mafia Targets Refugees With Organs-For-Cash Scam
Dear Leader To Announce End Of Kadikistani Assistance

 

[Crotobaltislavonia]

An attractive germanic woman with short blonde hair and wearing a grey skirt suit sits on a stool with her legs crossed. Behind her is a live feed of Nazario waiting patiently at the Board of Trade.

"Good afternoon. I'm Iva Stefanovic and this is CBS News. Our top story this hour comes from the Banja Luka Board of Trade where commodity futures continue to spike. Let's head into the Board of Trade where Nazario Capitani, our Chief National Security Correspondent, has more on this story. Nazario..."

The screen changes to show Nazario standing amidst a frenzy of activity on the trading floor. Traders brush by, there is shouting, and the floor is covered with slips of paper.

"Iva, we're on the floor here at the Board of Trade. As you can see, traders are going wild trying to snap up as many futures contacts as they can, at any price. The Board of Trade is usually closed today, but the State Economic Administration thought it would be better to keep things open all weekend."

Iva in VO: "Nazario, why are traders so desperate to secure commodity futures?"

"Iva, traders have been spooked by the news of economic sanctions hitting both Elben and Gunnland. As you know, Banja Luka is looking to Kadikistan to be an important trading partner. Traders are afraid the cost of increased taxes on Kadikistani goods passing through Elben will trickle down to Crotobaltislavonian imports. As for Gunnland, Trivodnia has threatened trade sanctions. A lot of goods that are traded between those two countries pass through Crotobaltislavonia which creates a lot of jobs and a decent income stream for the government. Both could be disrupted if Trivodnia stops trading with Gunnland. Iva?"

Back on Iva in the studio: "thank you, Nazario. That was Nazario Capitani at the Banja Luka Board of Trade. This is CBS News and we'll be right back."

 

[Crotobaltislavonia]

Afternoon Edition
Dear Leader Visits Base Construction
During a visit to the east today, President Farrago visited the site where a military base is under construction. The President was given a tour of the site, including a recently completed underground garage and several firing rangings. After the tour, the President spoke to the construction workers and their Army overseers, thanking them for their sacrifice for the Motherland and promising their efforts will ensure security along the Trivodnian frontier.

Protests Mar Visit To Petrovo
During a visit to the east today, President Farrago visited the town of Petrovo. During the visit, the President spoke with a local Yiddish council who praised The Dear Leader for his efforts to bring refugees back from abroad. Later, several anti-M-L protestors disrupted The Dear Leader's speech in the Petrovo's main square, The protestors were shouted down by the assembled citizens before being arrested by security forces.

Trials To Begin Soon
In a joint announcement, the Ministry of Justice and the State Political Administration have announced the mass trials of suspects arrested during last year's Christmas Coup attempt will be held soon in Banja Luka. In related news, the lawyers representing the accused again complained to the Supreme Court that they have not been allowed to meet with their clients for sometime and again demanded unrestricted visitation for themselves and family members. The court declined to make a judgement on the demand and adjourned to consult with security officials.

Forecast
A winter weather advisory is in effected from 9:00 this evening until 1:00 tomorrow morning. Tonight: snow mainly after midnight with a low of 8. Tomorrow: a chance of snow early and then mostly cloudy with a high of 17. For hourly updates on changing winter weather, tune into the Information Ministry's radio channel, KKEZ 94.5, the Guiding Light.