News from Crotobaltislavonia

[Crotobaltislavonia]

Overnight News Dump
Red Square Protest Enters Fifth Day
As security forces encircle Banja Luka, the capital is holding fast and is more devoted than ever to effect regime change. Red Square and surrounding streets have become like a massive gypsy camp with protesters living out of tents, vehicles, and even cardboard boxes. Denizens of Banja Luka have come out to support the protesters by building privies, donating food, and offering medical care to keep the men, women, and children in Red Square going for as long as possible. Committee for a Free Crotobaltislavonia members regularly wander around the city with bullhorns to give speeches featuring the day's slogan. A young mother in Red Square, nursing her infant son, told this reporter, "my husband and I would sacrifice anything for a better future for our child and for all of Crotobaltislaovnia's children."

Farrago Regime Soldiers On
In a brief statement to reporters, a spokeswoman for the Presidential Palace said that though President Farrago is ill, he remains in control of the administration. The spokeswoman reported that Farrago does not agree with the protesters, but he is deeply moved by and shares their love for the Motherland. The spokeswoman also said the security cordon around Banja Luka was put in place for humanitarian reasons as the capital is simply unable to support the thousands of citizens who were travelling from across Crotobaltislavonia to join the protest.

Violence Mars Protest
Earlier yesterday afternoon, an unidentified man was beaten to death by a mob of protesters in Red Square. Banja Luka riot police, on-hand to monitor and regulate the over one hundred thousand men, women, and children that are camped in the square, immediately responded and dispersed the crowd. The man was taken to Municipal Hospital #1 where he was declared dead-on-arrival. CBS News has learned from witnesses that the mob believed the man to be the Reservior Killer that is terrorizing the capital. Police are investigating. There have been no arrests so far.

 

[Crotobaltislavonia]

A Breaking News graphic news appears and dissolves, replaced with the image of a young and attractive Germanic woman with shoulder-length blonde hair and wearing a blue blouse and black skirt cut above he knee. She stands in high heels with her legs crossed at the ankles.

"Good evening. I'm Iva Stefanovic and this is CBS News Special Report. We go live to the Presidential Palace for a short statement from President Raoul Farrago."

Iva is replaced by two men sitting at a desk. One is Raoul Farrago. The Dear Leader's face is jaundiced, bloated, and pockmarked. He is clearly muddleheaded and is saying something unintelligible. Seated next to him is a man wearing the uniform of the State Political Administration with the rank insignia of a colonel and a grave expression on his face. Farrago continues to mutter something as the colonel looks at the camera and begins reading from a sheaf of papers.

"Comrade citizens, these words were dictated to me by The Dear Leader over several hours this morning before he lost his powers of speech. Quote . . . citizens of Crotobaltislavonia. The last several days have been a trial for us all. As have the last six months. So much pain. So much suffering. So many threats to the safety and prosperity of the Motherland. And now at last, our enemies have succeeded where they failed so many times before. You can see the effects of the poison in my body. Soon I will be dead. But the dream of a Marxist-Leninovist Crotobaltislavonia must not die with me."

The colonel looks up as he folds a sheet back to read from the next.

"Therefore, I, Raoul Farrago, The Dear Leader and President-for-Life of Crotobaltislavonia, name Valerian Fyodorov as my successor. Dear Fyodorov is a good man who has my full confidence. He will continue 'The Resistance' against foreign interventionalists who meddle in our affairs for their own ends, against economic gangsters who seek to steal our capital and our resources to line their own pockets, against all those who wish the annihilation of Crotobaltislavonia and it's people for their ideological gratification. Comrades, I implore you, obey Dear Fyodorov as you would me. End the protests that only weaken the Motherland. And do not lose faith in our Marxist-Leninovist way of life. For your children. And your children's children."

The colonel looks up again, tears streaming down his cheeks, before reading the last page.

"President-for-Life, my comrades. It has been my honor to serve the Motherland in war and in peace. And soon I make the ultimate sacrifice for Crotobaltislavonia. Good-bye my comrades, my friends. And good luck. . . . unquote."

A male choir in voice-over begins belting out the Crotobaltislavonian national anthem in Old Slavonian as the picture of Farrago and the colonel fades to the Crotobaltislavonian flag taut in a strong wind.

 

[Crotobaltislavonia]

An elegant middle-aged woman appears standing in front of the wall screen. She has close cropped dark hair and wears a green dress, sleeveless, low-cut in front, and cut below the knee. The woman gives the camera a stern expression. Behind her is a live feed of Nazario a dramatically less crowded Red Square.

"I'm Maria Garva and this is CBS Noon Roundup's continuing coverage of the protests in Red Square. We go live to Chief National Security Correspondent Nazario Capitani with an update." Maria turns to look at the screen. "Nazario, what's happening."

The screen changes to show Nazario standing in Red Square. In the distance is the Presidential Palace surrounded by barbed wire. Trash is strewn everyone. Young people with rifles can be seen standing in the background. One young man grins broadly and flashes a V sign at the camera.

"Maria, it has been a dramatic night and morning here in the city center of Banja Luka. President Farrago's announcement of his impending death was met with genuine shock and confusion from the protesters. Indeed, item number one on the Committee's manifesto is that Raoul Farrago must step down from power. And now that that appears to be happening, a wave of doubt and uncertainly swept through Red Square.

"This morning, the more casual protesters, the families, the children, the older folks, they started returning to their homes. The police, on and off-duty, have also gone. The only protesters remaining in the square are the core of university students who began the protests six days ago. Their first demand has been met. But the death of Raoul Farrago is a long way from a democratic Crotobaltislavonia and the students are adamant that the State accept the entire manifesto. Maria, I'm told that weapons started being delivered to the Committee for a Free Crotobaltislavonia last night. Not only semi-auto rifles and shotguns taken from police stocks, but also sophisticated weapons that were brought into the country from abroad during the Christmas Coup. And as you can see," Nazario motions towards the crowd of well armed young people who have gathered around him, "the weapons have been distributed to the students. It looks like the 'Day of Rage' just might happen for real. Maria?"

Back on Maria in the studio looking concerned. "Thank you, Nazario. That was Nazario Capitani with an update live from Red Square in Banja Luka where a showdown appears to be brewing. More news on the way!"

 

[Crotobaltislavonia]

Afternoon Edition
President-for-Life Farrago Has Died
The Presidential Palace has announced that The Dear Leader Raoul Farrago has succumbed to the poison in his body after a valiant effort. The Dear Leader slipped into a coma earlier last night and his passing was peaceful. Time of death is reported to be just after one AM CST. Per The Dear Leader's final instructions, the remains were immediately destroyed to avoid further contamination and to prevent his most ardent supporters from making a shrine of a gravesite. Dear Valerian Fyodorov was sworn in a short time later.

SPA Issues Ultimatum
Along with the news that The Dear Leader had died, the State Political Administration announced the security cordon around Banja Luka has been tightened to enforce a total blockade of all non-official travel to the capital. The State has now issued an ultimatum to the Committee for a Free Crotobaltislavonia demanding the protesters disperse by midnight tonight.

Reservoir Killer Strikes Again
Four bodies, two male and two female, were discovered by Committee members yesterday afternoon in an abandoned van near the center of Red Square after complaints of a bad odor. Banja Luka Police was quickly notified and is now investigating. There is no official word yet about the state of the bodies, but a male protester who saw the grisly scene told this reporter, "they were naked. There was so much blood. They were all cut up. And you could see some of their innards were gone."

Other Headlines
Royalists Preparing For Return Of Queen Victoria?
Metropolitan Damjan Milivoj Davidović Warns CBS Catholics: Obey The State
Armored Vehicles Seen Blocking H-3 Runways

 

[Polesia]

Ministry of External Affairs

The Free State of Trivodnia hopes the passing of Raoul Farrago will pave the way for a speedy and wide-ranging normalisation of relations with the Free Canton of Crotobaltislavonia.

 

[Crotobaltislavonia]

"This is Pirate Radio Free CBS. This hour we have reports that the security forces that moved into Banja Luka overnight are in position to assault Red Square. . . . CBS News remains off-air and off-line. . . . There are rumors that Raoul Farrago may have been supplanted by agents of the Otpor League, a radical Marxist-Leninovist splinter faction formed last December with foreign assistance. . . . Tune in for the latest every half-hour."

 

[Kadikistani Union]

Office of the People's Commissariat for External Affairs
People's Federal Socialist Republics of

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​

The various people's of the Kadikistani Union grieved across our massive nation upon hearing the deeply sad news that the greatest modern Slavonian statesman has passed away. As a great example of our increased ties and intelligence sharing we were well-informed about the situation by our Slavonian allies as these terrible events progressed. The Kadikistani State has sworn to aid the Slavonian people in every way they can to help find those responsible for this great tragedy. All State and Party flags will be flown half-mast throughout the Union for the remainder of the week to remember and mourn the death of the great Raoul Farrago. A man that will go down in the history books as the statesman who kept his country safe by fending off foreign invaders and Trier Concord-backed instigators while also returning it to the people.

But besides mourn the loss of a glorious man, we must also rejoice as despite heavy reactionary attacks the socialist people's government of Crotobaltislavonia has stood vast under the provisional leadership of the much esteemed General Yevgraf Kruten. For this we congratulate the popular General, who could not have done this without the support of the people, the true Slavonians. We would also like to formally congratulate the newly appointed President Valerian Fyodorov, a long-time friend of the Union, for taking this great burden upon himself in service of the people. We believe that under Comrade Fyodorov's leadership stability will soon return to the region, but as always we must remain vigilant and weary of our neighbours.

Signed,
Petar Kujundzic
People's Commissar for External Affairs
Democratic Socialist Republic of

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[Natal]

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Ministreileachd Gnothaichean Cèin​

The High Kingdom of Caledonia wishes to call the people and the authorities of Crotobaltislavonia to refrain from violence and to make an effort to keep the country stable. The death of Raoul Farrago was received with ambivalence in Dun Eidyn from one part as a reason to celebrate as a dictator and tyrant of the Slavonian people disappeared but on the other side, it is concerning to see a head of state and government being openly poisoned by political enemies. This shows that the struggle for power in CBS has reach such an intensity that its actors simply don't care anymore to hide their rivalries and battle in the open. We are concerned for the Slavonian people and for the countries neighbouring CBS, especially now when as of yet, the struggle seems to continue.

The High Kingdom is ready to help the people of Slavonia by organising an aid fund and to send basic produce like oil, salt and flour to help the people, should this struggle prove to be only at the beginning. We would also like to open a series of distribution centres so that the aid we would donate would reach the people directly.

Signed
on behalf of
HRH Mael Coluim V
Coll MacFhilib
Minister of Foreign Affairs

 

[Crotobaltislavonia]

Afternoon Edition
Crisis Talks Reach Compromise
This morning, a compromise was reached among the participants of the crisis talks in Banja Luka. The Otpor League has agreed to unblock the Banja Luka international airport so that the negotiations can move to Kadikistan and proceed under a news blackout. This comes after the crisis talks almost collapsed when news of the battle at the H-3 airfield reached the capital.

Pirate Radio Free CBS Sunk In Polesian
The outlaw radio station broadcasting from a ship in the Polesian Sea ceased transmission Tuesday night. And now there is a leaked report indicating that a Crotobaltislavonian Coast Guard ship may have violated Trivodnian territory in order to silence the pirates. The report, obtained from a source within the Polesian Flotilla, indicates that when the pirate boat was intercepted, it fled towards Trivodnian waters. The Coast Guard fired numerous shots that sunk the pirate while it was still in international waters. But the Coast Guard believes several shots that missed may have crossed into Trivodnia. An investigation is underway.

Other Headlines
CBS Catholic Leaders Meet In Chodov
Reservoir Killer Sent Letter To Police
Otpor: Caledonian Supplies Can Cross Northern Border

 

[Polesia]

Ministry of National Defence

The Free State Naval Self-Defence Force is not aware of any recent violation of Trivodnia's territorial waters but will increase regular patrols in response to yesterday's events in the Polesian Sea.

 

[Crotobaltislavonia]

An elegant middle-aged woman appears sitting at a glass table with her ankles crossed. She has short dark hair and wears a black dress with a modest v-neckline and a hemline at the knee. The woman gives the camera a warm smile before starting to the read the news.

"I'm Maria Garva and this is a CBS News Update. Making news this hour, from Kadikistan, a communique has been issued by President Valerian Fyodorov in the name of the All Parties Conference for Crotobaltislavonian Unity. The communique says in part that quote . . . the parties at the crisis talks will not allow it's honest disagreements to be used against Crotobaltislavonian interests . . . unquote and that quote . . . because of recent unprovoked aggression against the Free Canton, we have agreed to set aside our differences and stand against those who would do Crotobaltislavonia harm . . . unquote.

"The communique comes in the wake of Trivodnia announcing a bilateral pact with Elben to jointly claim sovereignty over the entire Lake Elbe, including Crotobaltislavonian waters and undersea resources. This morning, the Coast Guard's Northern Flotilla is on alert but continues normal patrol operations. To allay any concern of travel disruption, the Border Guard has announced all crossings with Elben and Trivodnia are open and air links are unrestricted.

"More news on the way at noon!"

 

[Polesia]

Ministry of External Affairs

The so-called 'All Parties Conference for Crotobaltislavonian Unity' has either misunderstood or deliberately misinterpreted the bilateral agreement between the Kingdom of Elben and Free State of Trivodnia.

The draft document makes clear that both parties recognise Crotobaltislavonian claims to a share of Lake Elbe and full jurisdiction will be granted to Banja Luka over its share once it has returned to responsible and normal governance. Clearly given the ongoing internal conflict, Crotobaltislavonia is not capable of managing its maritime territories.

There will be no interference in Crotobaltislavonian waters unless naval forces - state-backed or otherwise - operating from there pose a threat to Elbener and Trivodnian interests in the lake.

Similarly there will be no exploitation of Crotobaltoslavonian underseas resources by Elbener and Trivodnian firms without explicit authorisation from the next legitimate Crotobaltislavonian government. The focus of both Elben and Trivodnia is environmental protection.

Rather than seeing the temporary condominium over Lake Elbe as a danger to Crotobaltislavonian sovereignty, the various armed factions vying for control should be grateful Crotobaltislavonia's neighbours are willing to step in and demonstrate responsibility.

 

[Khemia]

外交部，Ministry of Foreign Affairs
新海人民共和国，People's Republic of Xinhai
////
涂彩兰，Tú Cǎilán，Comrade-Minister of Foreign Affairs

The People's Republic of Xinhai hails news of talks to be held in Kadikistan concerning the fate of Crotobaltislavonia. Great concern has been expressed by our government at news of increased instability within CBS, however the Otpor government has the full backing of the People's Republic in their efforts to suppress counter-revolutionary forces and bolster their security in the face of Trivodnian aggression. The People's Republic of Xinhai further condemns without reservation the violation of Crotobaltislavonian sovereignty by the Trivodnian and Elbener regimes; the fate and future of the Crotobaltislavonian people are the determination of its people alone, and not the arbitrary judgement of their stability by foreign interests. We fully expect that the opportunistic Trivodnian government will continue to cower behind claims of environmental protection while moving to plunder the natural resources of Crotobaltislavlonia without compensation or permit.

@Kadikistan @Crotobaltislavonia @Trivodnia @Elben

 

[Kadikistani Union]

Office of the People's Commissariat for External Affairs
People's Federal Socialist Republics of

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​

The Kadikistani Union reiterates the words from our esteemed comrades in the People's Republic of Xinhai. We share their concerns and condemn in the most severe way the bilateral seizing of Crotobaltislavonian territorial waters by Trivodnia and Elben. Once again these reckless regimes stand defiant against the regional status quo, attempting to tip the fragile balance in their favour. But those who play with fire should prepare to get burned. Should the Slavonian Marxist-Leninovist regime desire assistance we stand ready to aid our allies in accordance with the Mutual Defence Agreement signed between Ivar and Banja Luka, activated by the imperialist aggression of the increasingly irresponsible Amstov and the treacherous Linz elite. As we guarantee and recognize the sovereignty of Crotobaltislavonia, we also guarantee their territorial waters and do not recognize the bilateral agreement between Trivodnia and Elben that carves up Lake Elbe amongst the two of them for their own politcal and economic greed.

Signed,
Petar Kujundzic
People's Commissar for External Affairs
People's Federal Socialist Republics of

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[Crotobaltislavonia]

An attractive germanic woman with shoulder-length blonde hair and wearing a black blazer and trousers stands in black high heels with her legs crossed at the ankles. Behind her on the wall screens is a live feed of Nazario standing on a beach in front of the waters of the Northern Sea.

"Good day. I'm Iva Stefanovic and this is a CBS News Update. Our top story this hour comes from the shores of the Northern Sea where coastal defense units are being deployed. Let's head out to the Northern Sea where Nazario Capitani, our Chief National Security Correspondent, has more on this story. Nazario . . ."

The image cuts to Nazario standing on the beach. In the background, waves of the Northern Sea roll in and crash.

"Iva, we're on the coast of the Northern Sea, just over a kilometer from the frontier with Trivodnia. As you can see behind, all looks peaceful. But . . ."

The image pans right until it is looking inland at a newly dug-in artillery piece and it's crew. One artilleryman flashes a V sign. A second is holding a mini assault rifle and mimes blazing away. A third smiles broadly and holds up a sign saying 'hi mom'.

". . . tube and rocket artillery is being deployed all along Crotobaltislavonia's nothern shore today. Officially mum is the word. But scuttlebutt says live ammunition will arrive later this afternoon and the order will be 'shoot to kill' anything flying the Elbenese or Trivodnian colors."

The image pans back around to Nazario.

Iva in VO: "Nazario, have you seen any other troops besides the artillery? Anything offensive?"

"Nothing offensive, Iva. No tanks. No infantry. I'm told the Coast and Border Guards are keeping an eye out for enemy spies and saboteurs. And there is a commando unit on stand-by, but that's quote just in case unquote. Iva?"

Back in the studio, Iva is seated on a stool with her legs crossed. "Thank you, Nazario. That was Nazario Capitani live from the Northern Sea. This is CBS News and we'll be right back."

 

[Remuria]

HOST BROADCASTING SERVICES

Host Broadcasting Services, Retalia's main broadcasting corporation, offers CBS News Update and its relevant broadcasting rights holders a mutually beneficial contract for exclusive broadcasting rights of the border build ups between Crotobaltislavonia and Trivodnia, to be broadcast to the viewers within the Grand Duchy of Retalia.

Should such rights be granted, Mister Nazario Capitani, who by his name seems to have some form of Retalian ethnic and cultural background or ancestry, is also invited to broadcast live to the Retalian News Network on the prime time Evening News Summary program.

 

[Rheinbund]

Aussenministerium
Trier, Eiffelland

We have the impression that the intentions of Trivodnia and Elben with Lake Elbe / The Inner Sea / The Northern Sea are not completely clear to large parts of the world. We call upon the Governments of Elben and Trivodnia to give more clarity on this matter.

Rudolph Kögler, Demissionary Minister for Foreign Affairs and Demissionary Vice-Chancellor

 

[Polesia]

Ministry of External Affairs

We urge the international community and ordinary Crotobaltislavonians to ignore the inflammatory statements being carelessly thrown around by propagandists in Banja Luka, Ivar and beyond.

Contrary to some of the wilder claims being issued, there are no plans to exploit Crotobaltislavonian natural resources in Lake Elbe - in fact the Lenz Agreement focuses largely on environmental protection. Similarly, Crotobaltislavonian territorial waters in Lake Elbe will continue to be respected by Elbener and Trivodnian vessels.

However should Trivodnian naval craft - military or civilian - be attacked by Crotobaltislavonian forces - pro-government or rebel - we will not hesitate to respond using any means at our disposal.

 

[Crotobaltislavonia]

Nightline Edition
Trivodnia: "We Can Wipe Out CBS Anytime!"
Under questioning by the Committee on External Affairs, Trivodnian Chancellor Alexander Kahnemann boasted that the Free State is ready, willing, and able to annihilate Crotobaltislavonian military forces in a pre-emptive first strike. The Chancellor's inflammatory words were made at a public hearing and were reported on disfavorably by Trivodnian media. Even President Meier Lauterpacht reproached the Chancellor, calling the remarks "the insane words of a suicidal madman." There is no comment from the coalition in Banja Luka.

Peaceful Elben Sends Boats To Test CBS Waters
This morning, two fishing trawlers were sighted in CBS territorial waters by coastal defense units. The trawlers were intercepted and boarded by Coast Guard personnel who found only friendly crews, hippie scientists, and non-threatening environmental testing equipment. All aboard the trawlers identified themselves as Elbenese and said they were there to test the water for sewage. The Coast Guard, seeing no danger, let the Elbenese complete their mission of mercy and return to their home port.

 

[Crotobaltislavonia]

Afternoon Edition
Coalition Government Formed
After tense debate over the last week, the Otpor League, the Committee for a Free Crotobaltislavonia, Farrago loyalists, and others have come together and agreed on a power-sharing coalition. Valerian Fyodorov will remain President of Crotobaltislavonia for the time being. Various government positions have been handed out to the factions. Rumors abound of purges behind the scenes, but no evidence of mass casualties have been found.

Reservior Killer Burial Ground Discovered
Last night, acting on an anonymous tip to its information hotline, the State Political Administration raided an abandoned farm outside the capital. After a thorough search of the property, human remains were discovered buried in a crawlspace under the main house. At the time of this report, the SPA had recovered over a dozen bodies. Asked what indications have been found that these are victims of the Reservior Killer, a spokeswoman said, "they match the MO: gunshots to the head, teeth destroyed, identifying marks burned away with acid. It's him alright." Banja Luka Police was unavailible for comment.

Other Headlines
Northern Sea Remains Quiet
"Slavs Unite" Hold Sympathy Rally
Miss CBS To Introduce Nude Competition?