Thaumantic Music Festival 2018

[Natal]

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The Federation of the Natal
Corporate Sponson: Board of Culture of the Republic of Lower Natal

Northern Stage:

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Southern Stage:

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[Great Engellex]

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THAUMANTIC MUSIC FESTIVAL 2018
Elephant & Castle
Sponsored by Dog&Bone
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THE THAUMANTIC REIGNS SUPREME
Europe's True and Only All Consuming RESISTANCE

Delphini Abutor, known intergalactically as DeTor, suprememodel of Echidna, opened the Thaumantic Music Festival Twenty-Eighteen in every same way she opens most things :- in garish Southern tones and with a whole lot of shade. Step aside Europe, we're back again! So hyped, such lit, let's feel that adrenaline! Echidna's first lady and Queen of House Eloguent goaded the millions - tens - hundreds, perhaps, of millions of viewers throughout the entire evening. Never listen to the haters, we are pros! 'Cause we work our way, we pay our dues - now we have Europe screaming Engellooo! sang DeTor, who would be hosting the TMF alongside Elyssia Velour the first lady of the Thaumantic and Queen of House Tea - when it reaches day two in NoCRER. The hundreds of thousands chorused back, singsonging the affirmation that has closed every public appearance of Delphini Abutor for the past five years, no matter the politics - its catfights or catastrophe - the sashays or shade-throwing that preceded it :- ENGELLOOO!

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The liberally gifted embraces, and Yuhua Hamasaki being elected Eternal Lady of Touyou by Ockuuur (Vraguellen Council) aside, it is quite disingenuous to believe the entire purpose of the Thaumantic Music Festival is a demonstrated pride and celebration. We are consumers. Celebrate the beat, but we gotta eat! Every ticket holder - SoCRER and NoCRER - the entirety of their personal contacts list, and every online subscriber to Cessflix (international) and everyone of their contacts, will be bombarded with Europe's most anticipated and tolerated consumerist spam, courtesy of the app Fishy (found on DB Store)! One-hundred-fifty-three categories marketing culturally forward products from the First Republic to all of Europe. We can find iBone R10 smartphones, Bonet wigs, Anastasia Beaverhausen make-up and cosmetics, couture from the fashion houses of Chachki, Zahara Benet, and Sigeweard, Engiebum underwear (with Lifting, Packing, and Smart Tech ranges), limited edition stimulants from Acid Chi (an EHTC sponsored product), Coco Monteaser's every kind of chocolate orange, Southern Butter lubricants, framed clerical collars from SoCRER's numerous fictional martyrs (the millennial generation), pleasure toys and devices, automobiles, and of course the biggest catalogue of progressive and popular culture in Europe, fully available for streaming at any given time, for any given pleasure.

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Dolllaaaas - no, we use pounds, but the point is money matters. However, the hundreds of thousands attend the Thaumantic Music Festival, and tens of millions more watch it globally, for another more sober reason, too, and it is rooted in our collective, human fundamental desire to be safe, to be seen, and to be accepted, if not always understood; the back rolls of Europe, mostly unseen but you know the ugly is there - that's correct, the regressives beyond the Thaumantic, we're looking at you! Every Vraguellen house of the Thaumantic is represented and participating in one way or another. Vraguellen houses are communities established over the last two-hundred years by Europe's fleeing rainbow refugees to the nurturing embrace of the Thaumantic peoples in NoCRER and SoCRER, you know, for the willfully ignorant. Every one of those houses has a part to play, and for most of their Children it has been a lifetime's wait to participate freely and equally in a society that welcomes them. And every citizen of the Thaumantic had a message to give back to them, one of triumph, of self love, of Europe's oldest skill - transformation through fashion! authenticity through artifice! and to that, always remember, Engells only know of one direction - Forward.

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Delphini Abutor 'DeTor'
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Let's take a look at this year's participants, and remember to picture a show that refused to edit. There may be a selection of victorious and dangerously talented artists, or simply one, and remember none is not unheard of, either. Viewers will be demanded to exercise their democratic duty in voting for their favourite performance; your choice in the casting of your vote may tip a performance to be popularly selected a triumph, or we may at a later point decide to utterly disregard the democratic exercise altogether. But it is important to remember :- all votes cost £1.50, with terms and conditions applying, and each vote cast qualifies the account holder for a 1% discount on Fishy and they stack! (not exceeding 10%) Sashay, shantay! Kitty on the runway! #fishy

 

[Great Engellex]

Western and Northern Frontier Territories : Cher -

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Corporate Sponsor - Engellexic Thaumantic Company

Cher is here. She's been there, done that - she spreads Belle Air on her toast in the morning and garnishes it with a fistful of Diamond Chi and botulinum toxin. You know, she doesn't care, she's Cher bitch, and she is wearing the dollaas out of that costume, but it is acceptable, she paid a lot for it. We hope she finds what she is still looking for.
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Eiffelland : Scooter -

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Corporate Sponsor - Rathenau Musikgesellschaft GmbH

Eiffellandian superstar, Scooter. With a royal family that considers itself a top, Eiffelland appears to enjoy being on the bottom. We were promised fish. We are disappointed. There will be no scooting over for this.
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Constituent Republic of Otho-Eam : Dolly Sisters -

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Corporate Sponsor - Lady Minerva Hamilton, Marchioness of Bissee

Jolene - a delirious woman clearly possessed by a fictional book delicately tucked under her mattress. Our culture supports the destruction of this Jolene. Can you feel that heat? Sisters - you are polished, and if this man of yours is not spreading peanut butter, I am sure we can find a fictional book in his possession, too.
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Virumaa : Rasmus Rändvee -

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Corporate Sponsor - Radio Boreal International

We are left unsettled by the North. No tea, no shade.
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Loago : Miriam Makeba -

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Corporate Sponsor - Austral Airlines

Loagoooooo! Not today Commies, not today! Loagoooooo!
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Cabaon : Tony Franks & The Hippin' Souls -

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Corporate Sponsor - Secretariat of Culture of Cabaon

There is herstory here, and we're hoping it's made this night.
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Retalia : Maruv & Boosin -

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Corporate Sponsor - RIFT (Retalian Isles Feasibility & Transportation)

We have it on sound authority that the leaders of Retalia did in fact beat the face of the nation while in a drunken groove. Unfortunately for them, the Rurikgrad Pact untucked, and are now spreading that butter, girl. Don't worry Retalia, this can just stay between us squirrel friends!
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Constituent Republic of Mary-le-Bone : Celine Dion -

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Corporate Sponsor - Henrietta Shipbuilders (EHTC)

The Henriettans once again demonstrate their perceived justification for believing they are superior to all else, someone evidently informed them of Me-Donner's appearance. Glitzy, understated theatre voiced by a blue blooded woman, welcome to Mary-le-Bone. A powerful performance, but without the customary Marylian sorry at the end - Elephant and Castle was disappointed with that. Nonetheless, yassss!
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They have all performed and sashayed away. But shantay, you stay! Be back for part two.

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