*ring, ring*
Dale Emerick - Liberty Online Bunker LIVE
- Thread starter Thaumantica
- Start date
*He beats the war drum for the march of liberty, he’s Dale Emerick, the West Engell Wildman!*
“Now I don’t usually go to callers outside of the Engellsphere, not that I have a problem with them, because if you hate the globalists and eat Cussian barbecue like me I’ll talk to you. Doesn’t matter if you’re white, Himyari, Aurarian and you know what, or whatever . . Anyways I’ll take your call.
First caller, now I don’t screen calls, so this is a wildcard. Caller you’re from Toe-Sun, or Toyou or somewhere, go ahead and tell me what you think about Hiyaboosa as he enters the world arena as a warrior for freedom? I’ve got more questions, but go ahead and tell me who you are and why you’re calling first?”
“Now I don’t usually go to callers outside of the Engellsphere, not that I have a problem with them, because if you hate the globalists and eat Cussian barbecue like me I’ll talk to you. Doesn’t matter if you’re white, Himyari, Aurarian and you know what, or whatever . . Anyways I’ll take your call.
First caller, now I don’t screen calls, so this is a wildcard. Caller you’re from Toe-Sun, or Toyou or somewhere, go ahead and tell me what you think about Hiyaboosa as he enters the world arena as a warrior for freedom? I’ve got more questions, but go ahead and tell me who you are and why you’re calling first?”
*Phoneline disconnect tone plays over live air*
Dale Emerick: “You know what?
*Emerick sighs and stares intensely into camera for live-stream audience*
“I could sit here and talk about the well oiled rifles we sell, or the vitamins and pharmaceuticals that could save your life, and I’ll get to that and the other products we sell as loss leaders. But I need to speak from the heart here, this has to be the time . . Pull up an image of Serenierre . . Yeahhh . . .
*Images of invasion & occupation of Occitania*
“These communists must think we are dumb as dog crap, huh? Memory too short to register their boot heels stomping and kicking us around. Not me, no way.
Everyone in the dying mainstream wants to point at Pohjanmaa, a Commonwealth and democracy which never hurt a horsefly. Hell, I’ll tell you the truth, that’s why I broadcast, but I’d spend a life with a Pohjan wife before sitting down for lunch for a single damn minute with a man from Serenierre. I won’t split a baguette with a Communist, don’t even ask.
Look at me Pierre . . .
*Emerick grinds his teeth, turning red and staring again into the camera*
“We’re on to you, Serenierre, just stick a finger in your Aurarian boyfriend’s butt and take a whiff. Yeah we know how you’re slithering around, the Engells know, we always know. Heheh heheh yesss.
*Break Stinger: Cub’s Home Improvement has a special offering for patriot homeowners, now and for a limited time only we are offer select tools and hardware at a special 20% off. Improve your homestead today for
a summer to remember!*
Dale Emerick: “You know what?
*Emerick sighs and stares intensely into camera for live-stream audience*
“I could sit here and talk about the well oiled rifles we sell, or the vitamins and pharmaceuticals that could save your life, and I’ll get to that and the other products we sell as loss leaders. But I need to speak from the heart here, this has to be the time . . Pull up an image of Serenierre . . Yeahhh . . .
*Images of invasion & occupation of Occitania*
“These communists must think we are dumb as dog crap, huh? Memory too short to register their boot heels stomping and kicking us around. Not me, no way.
Everyone in the dying mainstream wants to point at Pohjanmaa, a Commonwealth and democracy which never hurt a horsefly. Hell, I’ll tell you the truth, that’s why I broadcast, but I’d spend a life with a Pohjan wife before sitting down for lunch for a single damn minute with a man from Serenierre. I won’t split a baguette with a Communist, don’t even ask.
Look at me Pierre . . .
*Emerick grinds his teeth, turning red and staring again into the camera*
“We’re on to you, Serenierre, just stick a finger in your Aurarian boyfriend’s butt and take a whiff. Yeah we know how you’re slithering around, the Engells know, we always know. Heheh heheh yesss.
*Break Stinger: Cub’s Home Improvement has a special offering for patriot homeowners, now and for a limited time only we are offer select tools and hardware at a special 20% off. Improve your homestead today for
a summer to remember!*
*Smashing through deception like a runaway freight train. It's Dale Emerick, the West Engell Wildman, broadcasting live from the Liberty Online Bunker in Engellachia!*
Dale Emerick: “Over the last week or so this program has received a lot of international attention, and that’s not why I do this, but you see a show with someone who loves the truth and wants to fight for liberty and people want to watch. I’m not in this for the celebrity aspect of it all, and I may be getting a bunch of nude photos and risqué requests over Triangle; but this is about the liberty movement worldwide, not any of that.
I have on the phoneline now a true son of the revolution, a Mister Ricky Libby, and the way I understand it you’ve been selected by popular demand to lead the Red Oyster Rifle Regiment after . . Well I don’t want to get into it, you go ahead.”
Richard Libby: “Thank you Dale, you’re a great Engell and I love your products. So yes, after the event I would rather not address any more I joined the remaining 315 militiamen out of an original 1500, in a Liberty Council to select a new leader. We are now of the belief that the Regiment should be managed democratically as our forefathers intended . .”
Dale Emerick interrupting: “We can move on and get into the future, I want to know your battle plan for liberty, but before we move on I just gotta ask: Robert Cargoe was leading the militia, and Arnold Burr was his right hand man, but Burr found Cargoe with his wife in coitus in a tent right there on the Sylvanian border?”
Richard Libby: “Well Dale, that’s all right, but I really do want to get us past this stain on our . .”
Dale Emerick interrupts: “And Mrs. Burr was actually Mister Cargoe’s cousin, is that right? That’s an Engellachian love triangle if I ever heard of one, and I may have seen a few, or been in one, but I want to move on and get into what your plans are now.
You’re still on the West Engell side of the border, straddling that little land bridge by Vesper like a wildcat, where does the regiment go now?”
Richard Libby: “Well for me this has always been about the freedom of movement, the right to bear arms, and the duty of Free Engells to form and stand up in a militia. All of these rights and responsibilities we both hold dear are under attack these days whether it’s in Charleroi or the Long Sea.
The Oyster Regiment of Rifles is a fraction of its former size, but those of us that are still here are believers in liberty. We are here with our own equipment and are simply waiting for Sylvanian Militias to link up with us, but maybe they never will, and maybe we will start needing to look abroad for applications for our skill and motivation?”
Dale Emerick: “Or within! Peacefully and legally of course. I just need to hit a break now, it’s the listeners and patriots like you who buy the products and fight for their freedoms that keeps this show going!
*Are you tired of the globalist mind control, tired of the lies of the mainstream media, or just tired because you can’t fall asleep knowing your freedoms are under attack? Try MyBlanket, a revolutionary new product by me Dale Emerick, an Engellachia native who knows the importance of a warm night’s sleep. Don’t trust the general store’s Two-You synthetic nonsense disease blankets, buy my natural wool blankets made here in the West Engell Republic*
Dale Emerick: “Over the last week or so this program has received a lot of international attention, and that’s not why I do this, but you see a show with someone who loves the truth and wants to fight for liberty and people want to watch. I’m not in this for the celebrity aspect of it all, and I may be getting a bunch of nude photos and risqué requests over Triangle; but this is about the liberty movement worldwide, not any of that.
I have on the phoneline now a true son of the revolution, a Mister Ricky Libby, and the way I understand it you’ve been selected by popular demand to lead the Red Oyster Rifle Regiment after . . Well I don’t want to get into it, you go ahead.”
Richard Libby: “Thank you Dale, you’re a great Engell and I love your products. So yes, after the event I would rather not address any more I joined the remaining 315 militiamen out of an original 1500, in a Liberty Council to select a new leader. We are now of the belief that the Regiment should be managed democratically as our forefathers intended . .”
Dale Emerick interrupting: “We can move on and get into the future, I want to know your battle plan for liberty, but before we move on I just gotta ask: Robert Cargoe was leading the militia, and Arnold Burr was his right hand man, but Burr found Cargoe with his wife in coitus in a tent right there on the Sylvanian border?”
Richard Libby: “Well Dale, that’s all right, but I really do want to get us past this stain on our . .”
Dale Emerick interrupts: “And Mrs. Burr was actually Mister Cargoe’s cousin, is that right? That’s an Engellachian love triangle if I ever heard of one, and I may have seen a few, or been in one, but I want to move on and get into what your plans are now.
You’re still on the West Engell side of the border, straddling that little land bridge by Vesper like a wildcat, where does the regiment go now?”
Richard Libby: “Well for me this has always been about the freedom of movement, the right to bear arms, and the duty of Free Engells to form and stand up in a militia. All of these rights and responsibilities we both hold dear are under attack these days whether it’s in Charleroi or the Long Sea.
The Oyster Regiment of Rifles is a fraction of its former size, but those of us that are still here are believers in liberty. We are here with our own equipment and are simply waiting for Sylvanian Militias to link up with us, but maybe they never will, and maybe we will start needing to look abroad for applications for our skill and motivation?”
Dale Emerick: “Or within! Peacefully and legally of course. I just need to hit a break now, it’s the listeners and patriots like you who buy the products and fight for their freedoms that keeps this show going!
*Are you tired of the globalist mind control, tired of the lies of the mainstream media, or just tired because you can’t fall asleep knowing your freedoms are under attack? Try MyBlanket, a revolutionary new product by me Dale Emerick, an Engellachia native who knows the importance of a warm night’s sleep. Don’t trust the general store’s Two-You synthetic nonsense disease blankets, buy my natural wool blankets made here in the West Engell Republic*
*He’s the monster under the bed of new world order lies. It's Dale Emerick, the West Engell Wildman, broadcasting live from the Liberty Online Bunker in Engellachia!*
Dale Emerick: “When you take the first step into the eternal Labyrinth that is finding personal and communal liberty: don’t expect an easy journey. I am sitting here with a half eaten bucket of Chicoree Fried Chicken, which I’ll get to here in a minute, but I want to talk here first a bit about how the Labyrinth will test you.
On this fury road to freedom you’ll want to put your pedal to the metal, because here be monsters that’ll throw themselves in front of you, and tempting exits that will try to wrestle you from the righteous path that our ancestors tread before us on horseback.
I’m talking about a man sitting across the table from me at a barbecue joint with a suitcase of cash saying: “C’mon Dale, wouldn’t it just be easier to take this money and stop talking about the globalists?”, and sure maybe it would, but I have an audience here that can support the program by buying the products we sell or small money donations. Or what about the time an oil man’s wife spread her legs and let me look down her skirt sayin’, “Dale, just lay off the New World Order, just lay into me and enjoy the pleasures of the elite”. Well I looked in there for a minute and considered, I’m weak when it comes to women what can I say, but I looked between those legs and I swear I saw a cockroach or two scurry out that looked like an Eiffelander and Nicosian.
Heh, well anyways: the point is that the path to liberty has many detours. A communist will offer you solidarity, but what he means is you will be the same as the other 100 starving fools in your block tower. A monarch may offer you protection and purpose, but what he means by that is you’re like to die in a mass formation by a volley from those hungry commie boys I just mentioned.
Why am I talking about all of these temptations and tribulations today? Well it’s not because I’ve found Jesus or some other continental desert magician, no, it’s because recently I had the opportunity to visit the Cussian Commonwealth, Chicoree to be specific. These people offered only the finest hospitality I’ve ever experienced outside a Vesper brothel, not that I’ve been to one recently or anything, but these people in Chicoree have souls. Сall me fictional, but maybe I lived in their fiction for a few days and I liked it. I sat there with the Cussian Chicoree and ate the finest fried chicken with the all the fixin’s and sweet tea . . But uhh, that’s not really what this is all about.
These Cussians took me to an active volcano. Yes, I stood there at the mouth of the dragon, the eye of the caldera, and felt the heat and stench of his belching breath. I could tell you the science makings and facts, but I’ll cut to the straight shit: that mother is gonna blow, and any cotton pickin’ year now . Millions are gonna die, and our world will never be the same. Sure I sell products like survival mre stockpiles, gas masks and their canisters, or the best air filters money can buy, but when I get back from this short ad break that keeps the show alive I’ll tell you the real truth - raw and unedited.”
*For a limited time only Dale Emerick the Engallachian Wildman is offering MRE buckets that could mean your survival in a catastrophic event or a delicious camping meal supplement. Comprised of Ostmark styled gruel for breakfast, Vaquero corn puffs for lunch, and Aurarian bull testicles for dinner you will not be disappointed by the tasty varieties. Stock up now before it’s too late!*
Dale Emerick: “I’ve studied the globalists for a lifetime, but let me tell you it doesn’t take a secret recipe of herbs and spices or a University of Zaros recital exam for me to know what these people are up to. Do you think it’s a coincidence that the world merchants, commies, PD boots are all on the ground in Loago? Himyar?
These governments and militaries aren’t there to keep peace or even force some pie in the sky ideology, no this little competition for Himyar is about prime real estate for catastrophe. These elites want to clear the land of its natural inhabitants to build luxury bomb survival bunkers to live out the coming collapse where they might have some arable land to rise up to like cockroaches some years later.
The lying lame stream media is gonna tell you this is just a humanitarian crisis, or some joust of military might, and for the cameras it’ll be all of that. But the real inside baseball on all of this is that the elites are setting up a little insurance police in case the caldera blows, a mass solar wave hits and knows out Europe’s electrify, or one of their wars ends this world as we know it.
They don’t want me telling y’all about all of this, in fact they’ll probably come after me to shut up about it sooner than later. Let me tell you something crystal and clear: I love life and love living. If I turn up in the press as a suicide with two gunshots to the back of the head don’t believe the lie.
I want to hear from you the audience though, go ahead and call in and share your stories from the Labyrinth of Liberty, or tell me what you think about the clear as day plan of the globalists to take over Himyar for their survival bunkers . . .”
Dale Emerick: “When you take the first step into the eternal Labyrinth that is finding personal and communal liberty: don’t expect an easy journey. I am sitting here with a half eaten bucket of Chicoree Fried Chicken, which I’ll get to here in a minute, but I want to talk here first a bit about how the Labyrinth will test you.
On this fury road to freedom you’ll want to put your pedal to the metal, because here be monsters that’ll throw themselves in front of you, and tempting exits that will try to wrestle you from the righteous path that our ancestors tread before us on horseback.
I’m talking about a man sitting across the table from me at a barbecue joint with a suitcase of cash saying: “C’mon Dale, wouldn’t it just be easier to take this money and stop talking about the globalists?”, and sure maybe it would, but I have an audience here that can support the program by buying the products we sell or small money donations. Or what about the time an oil man’s wife spread her legs and let me look down her skirt sayin’, “Dale, just lay off the New World Order, just lay into me and enjoy the pleasures of the elite”. Well I looked in there for a minute and considered, I’m weak when it comes to women what can I say, but I looked between those legs and I swear I saw a cockroach or two scurry out that looked like an Eiffelander and Nicosian.
Heh, well anyways: the point is that the path to liberty has many detours. A communist will offer you solidarity, but what he means is you will be the same as the other 100 starving fools in your block tower. A monarch may offer you protection and purpose, but what he means by that is you’re like to die in a mass formation by a volley from those hungry commie boys I just mentioned.
Why am I talking about all of these temptations and tribulations today? Well it’s not because I’ve found Jesus or some other continental desert magician, no, it’s because recently I had the opportunity to visit the Cussian Commonwealth, Chicoree to be specific. These people offered only the finest hospitality I’ve ever experienced outside a Vesper brothel, not that I’ve been to one recently or anything, but these people in Chicoree have souls. Сall me fictional, but maybe I lived in their fiction for a few days and I liked it. I sat there with the Cussian Chicoree and ate the finest fried chicken with the all the fixin’s and sweet tea . . But uhh, that’s not really what this is all about.
These Cussians took me to an active volcano. Yes, I stood there at the mouth of the dragon, the eye of the caldera, and felt the heat and stench of his belching breath. I could tell you the science makings and facts, but I’ll cut to the straight shit: that mother is gonna blow, and any cotton pickin’ year now . Millions are gonna die, and our world will never be the same. Sure I sell products like survival mre stockpiles, gas masks and their canisters, or the best air filters money can buy, but when I get back from this short ad break that keeps the show alive I’ll tell you the real truth - raw and unedited.”
*For a limited time only Dale Emerick the Engallachian Wildman is offering MRE buckets that could mean your survival in a catastrophic event or a delicious camping meal supplement. Comprised of Ostmark styled gruel for breakfast, Vaquero corn puffs for lunch, and Aurarian bull testicles for dinner you will not be disappointed by the tasty varieties. Stock up now before it’s too late!*
Dale Emerick: “I’ve studied the globalists for a lifetime, but let me tell you it doesn’t take a secret recipe of herbs and spices or a University of Zaros recital exam for me to know what these people are up to. Do you think it’s a coincidence that the world merchants, commies, PD boots are all on the ground in Loago? Himyar?
These governments and militaries aren’t there to keep peace or even force some pie in the sky ideology, no this little competition for Himyar is about prime real estate for catastrophe. These elites want to clear the land of its natural inhabitants to build luxury bomb survival bunkers to live out the coming collapse where they might have some arable land to rise up to like cockroaches some years later.
The lying lame stream media is gonna tell you this is just a humanitarian crisis, or some joust of military might, and for the cameras it’ll be all of that. But the real inside baseball on all of this is that the elites are setting up a little insurance police in case the caldera blows, a mass solar wave hits and knows out Europe’s electrify, or one of their wars ends this world as we know it.
They don’t want me telling y’all about all of this, in fact they’ll probably come after me to shut up about it sooner than later. Let me tell you something crystal and clear: I love life and love living. If I turn up in the press as a suicide with two gunshots to the back of the head don’t believe the lie.
I want to hear from you the audience though, go ahead and call in and share your stories from the Labyrinth of Liberty, or tell me what you think about the clear as day plan of the globalists to take over Himyar for their survival bunkers . . .”
Great Engellex
Established Nation
*ring, ring*
Dale Emerick: “Let’s get right to our first caller on the international line, I don’t screen calls - because listen to me when I say that this program is based on the bedrock of free speech passed down to us by the progenitors of liberty: the First Republic.
So tell me, and you can say anything you need to get off your chest, but where do you see the globalists, communists, and all around violators of my freedoms going next? I’ll tell y’all in the next hour, because I’ve got the documents, but you go ahead!”
OOC: in the future if anyone wants to “call in”, feel free to just start your caller’s statement or question right away without ringing in.
So tell me, and you can say anything you need to get off your chest, but where do you see the globalists, communists, and all around violators of my freedoms going next? I’ll tell y’all in the next hour, because I’ve got the documents, but you go ahead!”
OOC: in the future if anyone wants to “call in”, feel free to just start your caller’s statement or question right away without ringing in.
Great Engellex
Established Nation
Are you still there?
Good.
I will say whoever is trying to destroy Loago, perversely, it is the first sign of real respect the Engellkin have gotten in many decades.
Good.
I will say whoever is trying to destroy Loago, perversely, it is the first sign of real respect the Engellkin have gotten in many decades.
Gunnland
FTR
"David Gunn Campbell, Ayr. Long time listener, first time caller. I want you to know I speak for many of us in Gunnland, well in Ayr and Arundel anyway, who admire our liberty-loving Engellkin cousins. Anyway, I heard your comment and I wonder what angle you think the Markanese might have had in bumping off Alejo Pelagio in the harbor last week."
Dale Emerick: “Was that? . . Seems like she hung up already, sounded a bit like Southern President Underwood, unlikely as that is - caller didn’t give a name did she?
Well m’lady caller, I’d like to agree with that, but I lack the understanding and insight on why that may be. Perhaps when the greater Engellkin or Thaumantican race comes together and starts sharing their freedom and civilization with the world - maybe respect won’t look as perverse as several thousand dead Loagoans.
But uhh: thanks Sara? Next caller go ahead . .”
“Thanks David, I’m glad you’re listening to the program and I hope the products are shipping safely to Gunnland.
As I look at the Guow’s, the Mark’s, the Alej’s, and the Mary’s - and I’m speaking now to you, the Gunn’s and the David’s - I’m starting to see that that the only thing more complicated than a communist’s checkbook is a Countess’s love life. My condolences go uhh, to Mister Blackthorn, wow.
But before I get into it let me keep this program alive with a short commercial break and I’ll get back to you on the other side, David!”
*”Mein Undies” is a realization of modern style and fabrics designed by Ostmarkiche West Engells in Eisgarten. The Days of Tight Uncomfortable Undergarments are Over with Mein Undies”*
Dale Emerick: “David are ya still there? Did you happen to catch that baseball game in Ayr earlier in the week, it was the Ayr Highlanders sticking it to the Holiday Ducklings, what a pile of hot garbage that pitcher the Ducks have - Mickey Allan or something? They ought to shoot him and throw him into the harbor, figuratively of course, I’d never advocate violence on this program.
Anyways, Alejandro the Borobanger as I like to call him. I don’t know everything about what he was into, could have been drugs, a land deal we are seeing leaked now, and maybe it wasn’t the Markians at all, all I’m reporting on with the cold hard facts as they become available is that these Markians were operating some sort of international death ring that knocked off the Two Kingdoms PM and may have sent a message in Gunnland.
I’m just an Engellachian Wild man though, Westernesse is my wheelhouse, so what do you see as the reason someone would want to take out Borobanger?”
*ring ring*
"Hi, My name is Jaak Maimu, I cone from Sakala up in the northernmost coast of Virumaa amd my family have been whalers for quite a long time. I have heard of this abomination that the Justosoan navy is using whales as targets for their submarines and are testing weapons on the wildlife.
The North have provided us with the most important things in a man's life, freedom and beautiful nature, butwe still need to keep our livelihood to be enjoying life in such a harsh environment. That is why, Dale, I want to ask you opinion on this. Is Justosia killing whales out of their hate of nature or are they doing it as part of a conspiracy to bankrupt whalers?"
"Hi, My name is Jaak Maimu, I cone from Sakala up in the northernmost coast of Virumaa amd my family have been whalers for quite a long time. I have heard of this abomination that the Justosoan navy is using whales as targets for their submarines and are testing weapons on the wildlife.
The North have provided us with the most important things in a man's life, freedom and beautiful nature, butwe still need to keep our livelihood to be enjoying life in such a harsh environment. That is why, Dale, I want to ask you opinion on this. Is Justosia killing whales out of their hate of nature or are they doing it as part of a conspiracy to bankrupt whalers?"
Justosia
Established Nation
- Joined
- Sep 8, 2018
- Messages
- 2,515
- Capital
- Avalon
- Nick
- Los
-RING RING-
"Am I on the air? Shhh. Man shut up I'm doing this! I'm on leave let em yell at me later.
Hello? Yea I'm Hermin Tiesto. I'm the Justosian Royal Navy Submarine Captain in question. Tell that eco hippy to shove it. She doesn't serve. I made a split second decision. It was either this uhhh, unfortunate collateral damage, or the sinking of one of our trade liners. Which would have been mission failed. They dunno what it's like down there in the depths man! "
"Am I on the air? Shhh. Man shut up I'm doing this! I'm on leave let em yell at me later.
Hello? Yea I'm Hermin Tiesto. I'm the Justosian Royal Navy Submarine Captain in question. Tell that eco hippy to shove it. She doesn't serve. I made a split second decision. It was either this uhhh, unfortunate collateral damage, or the sinking of one of our trade liners. Which would have been mission failed. They dunno what it's like down there in the depths man! "
Dale Emerick: “I first just want to start off by saying that you are speaking directly to my heart right now. Here talking about a hard working and enterprising family run business, freedom and values on the seas, that’s pure Thaumanticana!
And another thing is that some have compared me to a whale, perhaps because of my majestic and gargantuan spirit . . Or perhaps it’s my waist size . . But if I had imagine myself as an animal it’d be a wild boar, or an escaped pig that’s skin has gotten tougher, big tusks peeking out, and a bunch of wild hair is growing where it wasn’t before . . But uhh, that’s not why you called did you, excuse me.
When I examine this story I just have to be honest and say it reminds me of last autumn when that young lady said a pack of wolves came to drag away her kid, and it turned out a few days later she admits that she sold the kid for a bag of meth. See, sometimes people will blame the animal kingdom for their own foibles.
So when I look at this one I see a false flag, a false whale if you will. Ah I see here we have another caller:
Dale Emerick: “I may be mistaken, but I think the other caller was a male, but I don’t want to be on here misgendering anyone or anything. Tell me, and I’ll take your word as a listener and lover of freedom, was the whale a boy or a girl by your approximation, and if it was a lady do you think it was pregnant.
Again, I want to thank you for calling in and being a part of the liberty movement worldwide . . But could you tell me at which point you were intimidated by the she-whale so much you had to torpedo her to death?”
The Federation
Established Nation
*ring* *ring*
yea, is anyone gonna sit here and believe that a submarine captain called into inbred radio. liberty movement? more like liberty movement to shag your sister. haaa hahaha- *click*
yea, is anyone gonna sit here and believe that a submarine captain called into inbred radio. liberty movement? more like liberty movement to shag your sister. haaa hahaha- *click*
Dale Emerick: “That’s a low blow, sir! You don’t hear me calling into your five listener kiddy diddlying Sylvanian sucking f#%king radio shows!
I ought to cross that bridge and sock you in the jaw you little, uhh, I mean I’d punch you politically and metaphorically of course . . In other words f#%k you! Loser.
We’ve got more listeners than you do, more morals, and our products are pure ya idiot. Enough with these Sylvanians I’d have picked up my rifle, politically, and shot that Snyder bit€¥ in that nose of hers by now!
I’m sorry folks, this is an eternal struggle against the forces of tyranny, and I’m just fired up to win!
Fu%#!”
Oneida
Established Nation
*ring* *ring*
Is this all you Engells do is sit here on radio shows and talk about blowing up pregnant whales? You inbreds are so backward you still think there's only two genders.
You fucking sexist fascist pigs.
*click*
Is this all you Engells do is sit here on radio shows and talk about blowing up pregnant whales? You inbreds are so backward you still think there's only two genders.
You fucking sexist fascist pigs.
*click*
*This is an EMERGENCY BROADCAST from the most censored man in Westernesse. He’s Dale Emerick, the West Engell Wildman broadcasting live from the Liberty Online Bunker in Engellachia!*
Dale Emerick: “They want me to get on here again to scream and cuss about the tyrants, they want another .gif of me slamming the table or tearing my shirt off crying for blood. Sure I could do all of that, and maybe I will by end of this emergency broadcast.
With one snap of her long crooked fingers, President Jillian Snyder took down the 20 million listener strong radio fleet of Sylvanian broadcast radio. But look at me, I’m not mad, I’m not sad, I’m happy. Snyder has struck a blow in a political and metaphorical dogfight, a microcosm in the eternal cosmic war for liberty. Sure she sunk our Sylvanian fleet, and sure it was our largest audience anywhere in the galaxy, but again: look at me! This is the flagship, like it or not Jillian I am still broadcasting live from the Liberty Online Bunker in Engellachia!
What’s more sweetie, honey, lady love: do you think having the largest radio audience in Westernesse matters to me? Not one bit at all, dearest, because I’ve been speaking my truth since I could put two words together to my Mama, or when I learned to regale my brothers, sisters, and kin around a campfire in the deep woods. This is just a show, a manifestation of what every Engell man, woman, and child already knows to be true.
Do you think hundreds of radio stations and millions of listeners mattered to Wilbur Rydell when he sat down with the first Sylvanian Federalists to plot the first shot of the greatest revolution for liberty and independence this world has ever seen? Twenty million Sylvanian Patriots don’t need to hear my voice six days of week to know what they know deeply in their bones. Freedom and the spirit of this revolution that intertwined Engellachian and Sylvanian forever runs through our blood today as it spilled on the battlefield of a decades long struggle for the founding fathers.
Look at me Jillian, do I look scared to you. Let me show you my wallet, here it is, I’ll just tear up these Engellmarks here that you think means a damn to me. I don’t do this for the money, honey. I’m here every day in the arena because I need to be, and I’m serious when I say I’ll keep shouting about your evils until my only listeners are homeless folks and cats! It’s not about money, my ego or even yours you nasty bag, this is about doing right by our ancestors and standing up to tyranny!
Somewhere along the line the Federalists let their guards down, thought that if they just remained polite and reserved that no one would come after them. But guess what, and if one damn Sylvanian hears this it’ll be enough, Jillian Snyder came for your guns, she’s coming after free speech’n enterprise, and if that wasn’t enough she came after your damn kids! I’ve got the documents right here, an investigation by the Cussians, statements from retired officers in Sylvania, when are you people gonna wake the hell up? You know, I thin it’s gonna take no more than a hundred patriots with the spirit of 1808, I’m talking about the Sylvanian Minuteman, busting down the doors of one of these sick pedophile soirées with a video camera and showing the whole damn world once and for all!
No Todd I won’t go to a commercial break damn it, this is the real thing! I’m not on here talking about little green men, or pregnant torpedoed whales, I’m talking about a corporeal monster who has her minions hanging on to every word I say, hoping to spin or morph it into something crazy. Snyder wants you to abort your kids! That’s not crazy, that’s her policy! Snyder wants to kidnap your kids! That’s not a conspiracy theory, there’s evidence, witnesses, victims damn it!
We let these globalist tyrants on to our continent because we wanted to be nice, into our governments because we wanted to be nice, but you know what nice actually means? It means your a damn happy fool, smiling for no good reason because your happy to just do drugs and watch the lying television!
I know what you are Jillian Snyder, my ancestors have fought your ancestors spiritually for millennia. You’ve won this round, and I want you to smile and be proud, but there’s a war coming baby, politically and metaphorically, and this radio program will be the vanguard against your cabal. If folks want to listen to this show they don’t need a radio signal, they can just go online, they can call in and listen on hold over the phone, and what I tell you earlier sweetheart?
Sylvanians don’t need to listen to me to know your evil, that you want to own or kill their kids, they know it in their heart - those that still have one at least. So sit back and smile, this is your day, but tomorrow belongs to the patriots and liberty movement worldwide who will wreak their revenge, politically, upon your pitiful empty soul!
No commercials, we’re taking the fight to the globalists off the air, raise the crimson flag and let loose the hounds of liberty! LIBERTY! LIBERTYYYYY!!!”
Dale Emerick: “They want me to get on here again to scream and cuss about the tyrants, they want another .gif of me slamming the table or tearing my shirt off crying for blood. Sure I could do all of that, and maybe I will by end of this emergency broadcast.
With one snap of her long crooked fingers, President Jillian Snyder took down the 20 million listener strong radio fleet of Sylvanian broadcast radio. But look at me, I’m not mad, I’m not sad, I’m happy. Snyder has struck a blow in a political and metaphorical dogfight, a microcosm in the eternal cosmic war for liberty. Sure she sunk our Sylvanian fleet, and sure it was our largest audience anywhere in the galaxy, but again: look at me! This is the flagship, like it or not Jillian I am still broadcasting live from the Liberty Online Bunker in Engellachia!
What’s more sweetie, honey, lady love: do you think having the largest radio audience in Westernesse matters to me? Not one bit at all, dearest, because I’ve been speaking my truth since I could put two words together to my Mama, or when I learned to regale my brothers, sisters, and kin around a campfire in the deep woods. This is just a show, a manifestation of what every Engell man, woman, and child already knows to be true.
Do you think hundreds of radio stations and millions of listeners mattered to Wilbur Rydell when he sat down with the first Sylvanian Federalists to plot the first shot of the greatest revolution for liberty and independence this world has ever seen? Twenty million Sylvanian Patriots don’t need to hear my voice six days of week to know what they know deeply in their bones. Freedom and the spirit of this revolution that intertwined Engellachian and Sylvanian forever runs through our blood today as it spilled on the battlefield of a decades long struggle for the founding fathers.
Look at me Jillian, do I look scared to you. Let me show you my wallet, here it is, I’ll just tear up these Engellmarks here that you think means a damn to me. I don’t do this for the money, honey. I’m here every day in the arena because I need to be, and I’m serious when I say I’ll keep shouting about your evils until my only listeners are homeless folks and cats! It’s not about money, my ego or even yours you nasty bag, this is about doing right by our ancestors and standing up to tyranny!
Somewhere along the line the Federalists let their guards down, thought that if they just remained polite and reserved that no one would come after them. But guess what, and if one damn Sylvanian hears this it’ll be enough, Jillian Snyder came for your guns, she’s coming after free speech’n enterprise, and if that wasn’t enough she came after your damn kids! I’ve got the documents right here, an investigation by the Cussians, statements from retired officers in Sylvania, when are you people gonna wake the hell up? You know, I thin it’s gonna take no more than a hundred patriots with the spirit of 1808, I’m talking about the Sylvanian Minuteman, busting down the doors of one of these sick pedophile soirées with a video camera and showing the whole damn world once and for all!
No Todd I won’t go to a commercial break damn it, this is the real thing! I’m not on here talking about little green men, or pregnant torpedoed whales, I’m talking about a corporeal monster who has her minions hanging on to every word I say, hoping to spin or morph it into something crazy. Snyder wants you to abort your kids! That’s not crazy, that’s her policy! Snyder wants to kidnap your kids! That’s not a conspiracy theory, there’s evidence, witnesses, victims damn it!
We let these globalist tyrants on to our continent because we wanted to be nice, into our governments because we wanted to be nice, but you know what nice actually means? It means your a damn happy fool, smiling for no good reason because your happy to just do drugs and watch the lying television!
I know what you are Jillian Snyder, my ancestors have fought your ancestors spiritually for millennia. You’ve won this round, and I want you to smile and be proud, but there’s a war coming baby, politically and metaphorically, and this radio program will be the vanguard against your cabal. If folks want to listen to this show they don’t need a radio signal, they can just go online, they can call in and listen on hold over the phone, and what I tell you earlier sweetheart?
Sylvanians don’t need to listen to me to know your evil, that you want to own or kill their kids, they know it in their heart - those that still have one at least. So sit back and smile, this is your day, but tomorrow belongs to the patriots and liberty movement worldwide who will wreak their revenge, politically, upon your pitiful empty soul!
No commercials, we’re taking the fight to the globalists off the air, raise the crimson flag and let loose the hounds of liberty! LIBERTY! LIBERTYYYYY!!!”
Vesper 24
@Vesper24
*Swirling Vesper 24 graphics transition to a studio where a male and female host stand before an active screen portraying an eternal flame. The man, Lincoln Shepherd begins the broadcast*
“This afternoon we go live to Queensland in the Two Kingdoms where the Engellachian Prime Minister is exiting a black sedan. Edwin Grafton can be seen in black suit, tie, and top hat as he climbs the steps towards the ‘Lord and Lady of Peace Obelisk’. He joins the Jysk-Austwegian host who is said to have assisted intimately in arranging this event of reconciliation and remembrance.
Appearing now are two cars carrying Lady Presidents Anne Siward and Sarah Underwood of the Constituent Republics of North and South respectively. The Lady Presidents also present conservatively dressed in mourning wear, perhaps also to mark the recent passing of Lord Protector Drake.
It should be noted that this event takes place not quite a year since the tragic events memorialized, yet many months after the completion of the obelisk as well. We now see the Lady Presidents of the First Republic taking positions across from the Engellachian Minister, an Austwegian dignitary stands between them.
*Somber drum taps begin from a band at the ceremony, and the female broadcaster continues narration*
Prime Minister Grafton is holding two bouquets of roses, which he carefully hands to the Austwegian intermediary who then places them in the arms of each Lady President. The Lady Presidents reciprocate with the presentation of a wreath to the intermediary, who forwards it into the open arms of the Prime Minister.
The three are now turning towards the obelisk, and . . and excuse me but this is a very emotional moment, so many millions watching, the thousands dead or affected, I lost a few dear friends that weekend and please excuse me for crying. Please continue Mister Shepherd . .”
*Lincoln Shepherd resumes narration*
“The President Anne Siward of the Northern Constituent Republic kneels to place roses near the eternal flame, President Sara Underwood of the South kneels to place her bouquet, and finally West Engell Minister Grafton kneels to place the wreath. A somber moment of silence as we remember the fallen, not only during this catastrophe that divided us, but the many struggles shared together before that.
As one they rise again together, for the first time I see they may be exchanging words though we may never know which. A short secular memorial ceremony for those of rational heart and mind, solidifying a memory that should not be repeated, and indicating that in the future these kindred people stand and walk together.”
*Without sound the three are shown joining the Jysk-Austwegian intermediary, continuing to speak until a Vesper 24 graphic transitions away to a Thaumantic Weather overview*
You must be registered for see images
@Vesper24
*Swirling Vesper 24 graphics transition to a studio where a male and female host stand before an active screen portraying an eternal flame. The man, Lincoln Shepherd begins the broadcast*
“This afternoon we go live to Queensland in the Two Kingdoms where the Engellachian Prime Minister is exiting a black sedan. Edwin Grafton can be seen in black suit, tie, and top hat as he climbs the steps towards the ‘Lord and Lady of Peace Obelisk’. He joins the Jysk-Austwegian host who is said to have assisted intimately in arranging this event of reconciliation and remembrance.
Appearing now are two cars carrying Lady Presidents Anne Siward and Sarah Underwood of the Constituent Republics of North and South respectively. The Lady Presidents also present conservatively dressed in mourning wear, perhaps also to mark the recent passing of Lord Protector Drake.
It should be noted that this event takes place not quite a year since the tragic events memorialized, yet many months after the completion of the obelisk as well. We now see the Lady Presidents of the First Republic taking positions across from the Engellachian Minister, an Austwegian dignitary stands between them.
*Somber drum taps begin from a band at the ceremony, and the female broadcaster continues narration*
Prime Minister Grafton is holding two bouquets of roses, which he carefully hands to the Austwegian intermediary who then places them in the arms of each Lady President. The Lady Presidents reciprocate with the presentation of a wreath to the intermediary, who forwards it into the open arms of the Prime Minister.
The three are now turning towards the obelisk, and . . and excuse me but this is a very emotional moment, so many millions watching, the thousands dead or affected, I lost a few dear friends that weekend and please excuse me for crying. Please continue Mister Shepherd . .”
*Lincoln Shepherd resumes narration*
“The President Anne Siward of the Northern Constituent Republic kneels to place roses near the eternal flame, President Sara Underwood of the South kneels to place her bouquet, and finally West Engell Minister Grafton kneels to place the wreath. A somber moment of silence as we remember the fallen, not only during this catastrophe that divided us, but the many struggles shared together before that.
As one they rise again together, for the first time I see they may be exchanging words though we may never know which. A short secular memorial ceremony for those of rational heart and mind, solidifying a memory that should not be repeated, and indicating that in the future these kindred people stand and walk together.”
*Without sound the three are shown joining the Jysk-Austwegian intermediary, continuing to speak until a Vesper 24 graphic transitions away to a Thaumantic Weather overview*
the Engeallachian
Professor Bruce Steinvasser:
"Free market or bloody die,
it's the Thaumantican way."
Professor Bruce Steinvasser:
"Free market or bloody die,
it's the Thaumantican way."
You must be registered for see images
"How does Engellachia even function at this point?" - @PajeetPierre, Twatter user.
As I set out to solve this greasy man's riddle, I must first acknowledge that Engellachia, the West Engell Republic is on auto-pilot of economic planning set out by the 2018 Summer Midterm Budget that managed to balance revenue from far north natural resource revenue with the horrendous costs of Vesperian welfare. Year in, year out, the W. Engells of Engellachia have eked out puny surpluses here, and minor deficits there with a finely tuned economic strategy that thrives under stability.
But before the ink was dry in the Lodge of Legislators in 2018, a group of Frontier Party conspirators were throwing excrement at their previous First Republic allies in an attempt to cover up monstrous crimes I am not at this time at liberty to describe in full. Within this scuffle the West Engell Republic accrued several enemies; first, foremost, and undeniably the Lord Protector Drake, who under the guiding and of wise mercantile lords and ladies, would soon deliver justice to Vesper through martial means. In this chaos Engellachia also sacrificed all economic ties with Eiffelland and Justosia, severely damaged relations with Sylvania and Beautancus, but most importantly ended a more that century spanning tradition of free and uninhibited trade with the First Republic, Engellex.
Later blanket breakdowns across the international economic community would also seal our fate, which I must remind is coming this winter as sure as ice and snow. Ostmark, the Fatherland to Eisgarten our most economically rounded state, announced the freeze and seizure of foreign accounts and assets that critically included Eisgarten Ostmarkische. Not long after that, Pohjanmaa announced a border shutdown with Engellachia, then the Anti-State declared economic war with the world by banning import and export with most of the world including Engellachia, once again critically. If this Republic and Economy intends to survive into 2020, we must embrace the free market, or bloody die, it's the Thaumantican way. There is an economic cost to putting one's money where his mouth is when that mouth has insulted nearly every nation or leader in the world, and placed so many barriers to the free market that sane investors steer clear of his frozen backyard.
We are staring down an Engellachian bear market that may smash our skull in, eat our guts, and go sniffing around for our children for generations if we do not snap out of the quasi-socialist and protectionist stupor twenty years of 'Ilchester's Frontierism' brought us. Are you ready to lose your job this winter? How much money have you put away for when the Engellachia Permanent Fund fails to yield from cratered oil and mineral industries? I have a tip for you: Engellachia ain't the only shithole with oil to sell, and it surely ain't the friendliest to mercantile interests. This my friends, all of this, has to change.
The honest truth is that seeds and feed from the south in Beautancus and Sylvania are not coming this Spring or Summer. We could have leaned on the First Republic, and the great mercantile free market tradition therein, but why would they have confidence in us? We could have leaned on relations with our neighbors, Sylvania or Pohjanmaa, but have you notice a pattern here? Our Foreign Office likes to throw up every imaginable social barrier, and our Economic Office never saw a sanction or tarriff they didn't like. Am I getting through to you? Imagine walking to the corner store in Vesper, or trading post in Bearskull Junction, and the propietor charges you an Engellmark for entering the store, an Engellmark for bringing your money in, a tax on the product you buy, and a mark on leaving the store. This is what it's like to move basic economic items like food into our country, I am entirely serious.
There are free market solutions, Thaumantic solutions, to all of our ailments. Take a look at our defense situation - this government and its failing tax system cannot pay for the defense of our nation from Serenniere, Pohjanmaa, or a natural disaster that wrecks within. I know that Engellex, Beautancus, Natalia, and even the bloody Two Kingdoms have hundreds of ships, tanks, thousands of rifles, sitting in mothball. They want to modernize, jump to the next level, and we need to leverage our private military contractors on a Thaumantic scale with the ability to purchase this equipment at a discount price to serve governments and companies that are modernizing beyond those technology levels. Next I want you to look at the Engallachian AutoCruiser, a failure of a car that can hardly get from point A to lower case 'a'. Engellachian motorists pay an exorbitant tax for imported vehicles. Imagine we open the market to Gunnish truck makers, or even Toyou engineers, could we save the commuter or construction worker hundreds in fuel or repair?
I am developing a relationship with Prime Minister Edwin Grafton, and I know he shares my view on Thaumantic Mercantilism and Free Enterprise, and that we in Engellachia have a rubber band effect to suffer through. We are stretched behind Engellkind, and the Thaumantic as a whole, but listen - if we embrace these free market values and policies we have the opportunity shoot out ahead of everyone else. It is simple, we worship at the foot of the Thaumantic Trade Tower as it is erected in Eisgarten, my home, or starve and devolve into civil war only to be picked off by the SRN. This country needs intelligent foreign investment from trusted banks and merchants, and let the free market reign, but the current order has us clawing to the edge of a cliff.
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HYENAS CACKLING SFX; Honored and revered by patriots worldwide as a voice for for freedom, one of Natalia’s Golden Hyena Medal recipients, he’s Dale Emerick!
Dale Emerick: “Some of the callers seem to think I have a problem with women, or a psychological bugaboo concerning female leaders, but that couldn’t be further from the truth when you look at the fact that I have a mother, a wife, daughters, sisters, and cousins who I love and treasure greater than all of the gold looted from those Occitanian barons. Hell, I recently had to put down a bitch, a dog that is, but you know what? She had about a million pups before that. That’s the magic of life that women hold, dog and human alike, to give birth and feed their young. I’m not gonna rehash biology though, or natural orders.
Or a better example might be Siward or Underwood, who I look at . . And I look at Underwood, and Siward, then I look at Underwood again and I think: wow, I’m grateful to be a Thaumantican man surrounded by brave and beautiful Thaumantican women and leaders who know how to wield their words a helluva lot better than I could ever dream to. You see, this wouldn’t be the most censored broadcast in Westernesse, and someday soon the world if I learned to measure my words like these ladies do.
These women were raised right though, went to school and learned their manners, whereas I dropped out of Vestefjor or Vesper University during year one . . Or technically expelled, but I don’t need to get into that, basically those blue bloods didn’t like me swooping in and stealing their girlfriends, and wanted to call the Metro Police after I’d finish a fight they’d started . . But that’s not what I’m here to talk about, or maybe it is, that I not only have the ability but the genetic need you could say to finish the fight others are starting with me and mine.
I had a Professor there though, and now you’ve all heard of him, but back then he was new Economics Professor who pulled me aside and said: ‘Dale, you have the gift of Engellachian gab. Outside of our country that’s not a compliment probably, but you could be bloody rich without attending another semester of college as soon as you get on the air and start spitting that fire!’
That was Bruce Steinvasser, and little to my surprise Prime Minister Grafton brought him on to be his Chief Advisor last week. Steinvasser isn’t an Engell, not an Ostmarkian either though; he’s from there I know with parents who escaped, but I will say he’s the most Thaumantican man I’ve ever met. He not only believes in free enterprise and wants to go to the stars, but he has a pragmatic plan and way to go about it that folks like Grafton are finally catching on to, and I think others are too.
This isn’t an ad for Steinvasser, I have my own ads which I need to go to now, but what I’m trying to say is: Bruce Steinvasser is my guest up next, where he and I will step in to the war room and
”You’ve tried the stimulants, you’ve tried the tranquilizers, but have you tried our libido elixirs? This ain’t some snake oil that’ll make your poker shrivel up and fall off, or some little blue pill that’ll give you an erection for eight hours, as much as we’d all want that . . But we have scavenged the world and consulted with top physicians to create a libido enhancing elixir made from organic and natural compounds that you want in your body before your next opportunity to perform!
Dale Emerick: “The Bruce, Professor Steinvasser, Chief Advisor to the Prime Minister. You’re on the front page of the Engellachian, I’ve never had the pleasure, not that I’m jealous or anything, but thanks for joining me by phone down in the liberty bunker!”
Bruce Steinvasser:“Yes, Dale Emerick? It’s been over twenty years since I’ve seen you, and yet I hear the same energy and vigor as then. There are certain students I encounter from time to time who I feel the need to tap on the shoulder and say: ‘you know the game already, it’s in your bones, stop paying me to teach you and go make some money for yourself.’ You had to do this either way as I recall, and it does seem like I was right, but you know: I just knew you’d be a rich man in your hometown, your state, I could have never imagined your potential to rattle two Presidents, or go around the Engellsphere collecting awards and medals. Wow, Dale!”
Dale Emerick: “Bruce, I think you understand this, but this is a pitched battle for the future of Thaumantican Civilization and a humanity’s potential to reach the cosmos, and perhaps even the inter-dimensional event horizon of liberty. We will get there if we summon within ourselves the will to see it through, but when I look at the tyrants around the world like your Snyder’s or Martinique’s, you know I begin to fear the battle is lost and the war is over. What’s your take from inside the bullpen?”
Bruce Steinvasser: “Our Foreign Office lost a battle, make no mistake about that Dale. When we saw that Auraria, prior the human rights beacon, who chose to wholesale ignore SRN’s use of weapons of mass destruction - I advised the Prime Minister to reel in that line and move on. We have told anyone that would listen about Martinique, the Serazine Days War, and everyone of value to us as Thaumanticans listened. We are pivoting to economic development now, military coordination, and frankly looking for ways to end the animus that Post-Delegationists have towards our interpretations of freedom. I don’t expect you to stay quiet about these things, Dale, I’m not your boss or advisor. But I thought I’d tell you that this government will not waste its time condemning President Martinique, who feels no remorse for what the SRN did, or further waste our time shaming the quivering cowards who refuse to speak out against them.”
Dale Emerick: “You’re in the cockpit right now, not me, but I’ll tell you I can’t stop condemning these vile creatures. They make me SICK! They make me want to VOMIT! And I won’t shut up about the gassed kids, the burned children, and I’m not sorry!”
Bruce Steinvasser: “That’s fine, anyhow: you can expect some big meetings coming up. We need to start meeting with our Thaumantican allies, leaders of the free world, to start putting things right. I’ve enjoyed this short segment, and I hope you will have me back on the air in a few weeks.”
Dale Emerick:”Indeed, we’ll have you back in the bunker any time. This is the staging point for the great clash of civilizations, Thaumantic liberty is on the rise, and communism preparing for the final battle of wills!”
Dale Emerick: “Some of the callers seem to think I have a problem with women, or a psychological bugaboo concerning female leaders, but that couldn’t be further from the truth when you look at the fact that I have a mother, a wife, daughters, sisters, and cousins who I love and treasure greater than all of the gold looted from those Occitanian barons. Hell, I recently had to put down a bitch, a dog that is, but you know what? She had about a million pups before that. That’s the magic of life that women hold, dog and human alike, to give birth and feed their young. I’m not gonna rehash biology though, or natural orders.
Or a better example might be Siward or Underwood, who I look at . . And I look at Underwood, and Siward, then I look at Underwood again and I think: wow, I’m grateful to be a Thaumantican man surrounded by brave and beautiful Thaumantican women and leaders who know how to wield their words a helluva lot better than I could ever dream to. You see, this wouldn’t be the most censored broadcast in Westernesse, and someday soon the world if I learned to measure my words like these ladies do.
These women were raised right though, went to school and learned their manners, whereas I dropped out of Vestefjor or Vesper University during year one . . Or technically expelled, but I don’t need to get into that, basically those blue bloods didn’t like me swooping in and stealing their girlfriends, and wanted to call the Metro Police after I’d finish a fight they’d started . . But that’s not what I’m here to talk about, or maybe it is, that I not only have the ability but the genetic need you could say to finish the fight others are starting with me and mine.
I had a Professor there though, and now you’ve all heard of him, but back then he was new Economics Professor who pulled me aside and said: ‘Dale, you have the gift of Engellachian gab. Outside of our country that’s not a compliment probably, but you could be bloody rich without attending another semester of college as soon as you get on the air and start spitting that fire!’
That was Bruce Steinvasser, and little to my surprise Prime Minister Grafton brought him on to be his Chief Advisor last week. Steinvasser isn’t an Engell, not an Ostmarkian either though; he’s from there I know with parents who escaped, but I will say he’s the most Thaumantican man I’ve ever met. He not only believes in free enterprise and wants to go to the stars, but he has a pragmatic plan and way to go about it that folks like Grafton are finally catching on to, and I think others are too.
This isn’t an ad for Steinvasser, I have my own ads which I need to go to now, but what I’m trying to say is: Bruce Steinvasser is my guest up next, where he and I will step in to the war room and
”You’ve tried the stimulants, you’ve tried the tranquilizers, but have you tried our libido elixirs? This ain’t some snake oil that’ll make your poker shrivel up and fall off, or some little blue pill that’ll give you an erection for eight hours, as much as we’d all want that . . But we have scavenged the world and consulted with top physicians to create a libido enhancing elixir made from organic and natural compounds that you want in your body before your next opportunity to perform!
Dale Emerick: “The Bruce, Professor Steinvasser, Chief Advisor to the Prime Minister. You’re on the front page of the Engellachian, I’ve never had the pleasure, not that I’m jealous or anything, but thanks for joining me by phone down in the liberty bunker!”
Bruce Steinvasser:“Yes, Dale Emerick? It’s been over twenty years since I’ve seen you, and yet I hear the same energy and vigor as then. There are certain students I encounter from time to time who I feel the need to tap on the shoulder and say: ‘you know the game already, it’s in your bones, stop paying me to teach you and go make some money for yourself.’ You had to do this either way as I recall, and it does seem like I was right, but you know: I just knew you’d be a rich man in your hometown, your state, I could have never imagined your potential to rattle two Presidents, or go around the Engellsphere collecting awards and medals. Wow, Dale!”
Dale Emerick: “Bruce, I think you understand this, but this is a pitched battle for the future of Thaumantican Civilization and a humanity’s potential to reach the cosmos, and perhaps even the inter-dimensional event horizon of liberty. We will get there if we summon within ourselves the will to see it through, but when I look at the tyrants around the world like your Snyder’s or Martinique’s, you know I begin to fear the battle is lost and the war is over. What’s your take from inside the bullpen?”
Bruce Steinvasser: “Our Foreign Office lost a battle, make no mistake about that Dale. When we saw that Auraria, prior the human rights beacon, who chose to wholesale ignore SRN’s use of weapons of mass destruction - I advised the Prime Minister to reel in that line and move on. We have told anyone that would listen about Martinique, the Serazine Days War, and everyone of value to us as Thaumanticans listened. We are pivoting to economic development now, military coordination, and frankly looking for ways to end the animus that Post-Delegationists have towards our interpretations of freedom. I don’t expect you to stay quiet about these things, Dale, I’m not your boss or advisor. But I thought I’d tell you that this government will not waste its time condemning President Martinique, who feels no remorse for what the SRN did, or further waste our time shaming the quivering cowards who refuse to speak out against them.”
Dale Emerick: “You’re in the cockpit right now, not me, but I’ll tell you I can’t stop condemning these vile creatures. They make me SICK! They make me want to VOMIT! And I won’t shut up about the gassed kids, the burned children, and I’m not sorry!”
Bruce Steinvasser: “That’s fine, anyhow: you can expect some big meetings coming up. We need to start meeting with our Thaumantican allies, leaders of the free world, to start putting things right. I’ve enjoyed this short segment, and I hope you will have me back on the air in a few weeks.”
Dale Emerick:”Indeed, we’ll have you back in the bunker any time. This is the staging point for the great clash of civilizations, Thaumantic liberty is on the rise, and communism preparing for the final battle of wills!”