*Whenever a free man owns a gun, a tyrant is on the run. It's Dale Emerick, the West Engell Wildman, broadcasting live from the Liberty Online Bunker in Engellachia!*
Dale Emerick: “Ripped from the headlines: Vesper 24 says Prime Minister Grafton’s approval rating has slipped under forty percent. Aren’t these the same people who offered me five million Engellmarks a year to wear a suit and be their little you know what puppet boy? Oh but maybe I should tell the audience how these Capital Metropolitan slimeballs not only rig the opinion polls, but nearly stole the whole damn election in the winter? Now they want to drag out old lecher Ilchester, and the damn Queen of Corruption Veronica North to challenge our champion . . More after the break, I’m pissed!
*papers shuffling and crunching noise*
*”The purest iodine can’t be found anywhere other than in genuine Thaumantic deep sea crystals. You’re a human, and you need iodine for your body to operate at its optimum level. Now you’re a Thaumantican too, or hell you wish you were, and that’s why you need our deep sea crystal formula to provide your body with the right stuff to go to the next level, fight back the communists, and go to the stars”*
Dale Emerick: “You know who owns Vesper 24 anyways? Or do you just take every little damn thing those liars print or broadcast as truth? Let’s see, Vesper 24 is owned by Victor and Melinda Tidewell, under Tidewell Media Trust, how sweet . . Except Victor has been accused of groping and sexually assaulting employees, a few have been settled out of court, and darling Melinda was removed from three charity boards by the Republican Security Bureau after she was found embezzling donated funds.
Maybe I’m not supposed to say all that, because maybe I was told these things from a source inside the PM’s office who maybe doesn’t want to bring this shadow civil war into the light. Well you know what, Victor and Melinda, I’ve got my own pills and polls, and the polls give Grafton and his New Republicans an 80% approval rating!
Folks, of course Edwin Grafton isn’t as popular as Veronica North or Felix Ilchester in Vesper, where if you read the fine print is the only sample population they drew from. Vesper is a cesspool of organized crime, it’s the dumping ground for Westernesse and Engellachia for every Tom and Susie who couldn’t hack it as a worker or a farmer - so now they want to live in cubes stacked on top of each other, turn in their guns, all to elect kiddy diddling socialist weirdos to serve the globalists!
Well Grafton isn’t one of these types, I’ve spoken to him before and to folks around him, and I have sources inside of the RSB - the Republican Security Bureau who are patriots that understand what needs to be done to keep liberty alive in this country for the common Engellachian like you and me. I didn’t get into any of this stuff, talking to spooks or having my house stalked by socialist assassins, because I wanted to live in a spy movie or sound cool on the radio. This is a battle for my future, my children’s future, their children’s future, and these Metropolitans in Vesper are willing to do whatever it takes to win.
Hahah, well guess what Vera, guess what Felix-boy, Grafton is too. Bruce Steinvasser knows what it takes to win this war, and damn it so do I! They want you to think that they simply want a fair vote, a recall election in midsummer, but we all know what they are up to! Dirty tricks! Ballot tampering, this time without screw ups in the Port District, and you know what else I see on social media? These criminals are putting their war chest on the table to hire folks to protest. They’re gonna use the same tactics or worse they used during the Catastrophe last year, they’re gonna borrow tactics from Sylvania’s little leftist twat President Snyder, excuse me to the female audience but c’mon!
You see, I’m not angry because of the personal attacks they use on me or our Prime Minister, they can say whatever they want and I will too! I’m mad because they’re coming after our rights to speak, our rights to bear arms, and our rights to form together as Free Engellkind in a Militia! It ain’t about how ‘Dale’s so fat and stupid, even though he’s probably stealing my wife’, or ‘oh PM Grafton is a bald loser, and he’s a Cussian buttboy’. Fine, even if all of that’s true it doesn’t mean we want to steal your freedom or make you some sort of Communist!
But I said I’d go to your calls, or maybe I didn’t, or maybe I did so we will:”
Dale Emerick: “Ripped from the headlines: Vesper 24 says Prime Minister Grafton’s approval rating has slipped under forty percent. Aren’t these the same people who offered me five million Engellmarks a year to wear a suit and be their little you know what puppet boy? Oh but maybe I should tell the audience how these Capital Metropolitan slimeballs not only rig the opinion polls, but nearly stole the whole damn election in the winter? Now they want to drag out old lecher Ilchester, and the damn Queen of Corruption Veronica North to challenge our champion . . More after the break, I’m pissed!
*papers shuffling and crunching noise*
*”The purest iodine can’t be found anywhere other than in genuine Thaumantic deep sea crystals. You’re a human, and you need iodine for your body to operate at its optimum level. Now you’re a Thaumantican too, or hell you wish you were, and that’s why you need our deep sea crystal formula to provide your body with the right stuff to go to the next level, fight back the communists, and go to the stars”*
Dale Emerick: “You know who owns Vesper 24 anyways? Or do you just take every little damn thing those liars print or broadcast as truth? Let’s see, Vesper 24 is owned by Victor and Melinda Tidewell, under Tidewell Media Trust, how sweet . . Except Victor has been accused of groping and sexually assaulting employees, a few have been settled out of court, and darling Melinda was removed from three charity boards by the Republican Security Bureau after she was found embezzling donated funds.
Maybe I’m not supposed to say all that, because maybe I was told these things from a source inside the PM’s office who maybe doesn’t want to bring this shadow civil war into the light. Well you know what, Victor and Melinda, I’ve got my own pills and polls, and the polls give Grafton and his New Republicans an 80% approval rating!
Folks, of course Edwin Grafton isn’t as popular as Veronica North or Felix Ilchester in Vesper, where if you read the fine print is the only sample population they drew from. Vesper is a cesspool of organized crime, it’s the dumping ground for Westernesse and Engellachia for every Tom and Susie who couldn’t hack it as a worker or a farmer - so now they want to live in cubes stacked on top of each other, turn in their guns, all to elect kiddy diddling socialist weirdos to serve the globalists!
Well Grafton isn’t one of these types, I’ve spoken to him before and to folks around him, and I have sources inside of the RSB - the Republican Security Bureau who are patriots that understand what needs to be done to keep liberty alive in this country for the common Engellachian like you and me. I didn’t get into any of this stuff, talking to spooks or having my house stalked by socialist assassins, because I wanted to live in a spy movie or sound cool on the radio. This is a battle for my future, my children’s future, their children’s future, and these Metropolitans in Vesper are willing to do whatever it takes to win.
Hahah, well guess what Vera, guess what Felix-boy, Grafton is too. Bruce Steinvasser knows what it takes to win this war, and damn it so do I! They want you to think that they simply want a fair vote, a recall election in midsummer, but we all know what they are up to! Dirty tricks! Ballot tampering, this time without screw ups in the Port District, and you know what else I see on social media? These criminals are putting their war chest on the table to hire folks to protest. They’re gonna use the same tactics or worse they used during the Catastrophe last year, they’re gonna borrow tactics from Sylvania’s little leftist twat President Snyder, excuse me to the female audience but c’mon!
You see, I’m not angry because of the personal attacks they use on me or our Prime Minister, they can say whatever they want and I will too! I’m mad because they’re coming after our rights to speak, our rights to bear arms, and our rights to form together as Free Engellkind in a Militia! It ain’t about how ‘Dale’s so fat and stupid, even though he’s probably stealing my wife’, or ‘oh PM Grafton is a bald loser, and he’s a Cussian buttboy’. Fine, even if all of that’s true it doesn’t mean we want to steal your freedom or make you some sort of Communist!
But I said I’d go to your calls, or maybe I didn’t, or maybe I did so we will:”