WOW WOW WEEWA- Dohva Souvenir Shop

[Dohva]

DOHVA NATIONAL SOUVENIRS

Ripping off ideas like crazy!

Take home your own Dohvan Keepsakes!

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Gypsy Tears

Prevent sickness, bad luck, and Gypsy spells with your own collection of 100% Genuine Dohvan Gypsy Tears*.
Price: t44

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Fake Money

Keep the Jew distracted!
Price: t11 for package of 25 bills

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Dohvan Handmade Crucifix

Built from only the best of slightly radioactive wood, this crucifix keeps away Jews, Gypsy, and people named Bush! Order Now!

Price: t32

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Dohvan Farm Whip

Wife not moving fast enough in the field? Not pulling the plow hard enough? Wife try to escape? You need the Dohvan Farm Whip!

Price: t69, made from 100% genuine Dohvan leather.

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Preisdent Borat Cut Out!

Impress your friends by taking pictures of the Most Glorious leader! Supplies are limited!

Price: t45

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President Borat Costume



Europe's most popular costume! Officially sanctioned by Dohva's Most Glorious leader! GYPSY PUBIC HAIR MUSTACHE INCLUDED!

Price: t120

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Dohva's Greatest Hits

Included on the album are some of the nations most glorious hits including:

Bing Bong By GORKY BUCZEK
Woman on the Plow
Gypsy Hair
Throw the Jew Down the Well
Vagine Magnet

Here is a sample of one song, performed by the President himself:

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*Note, these are probably not real gypsy tears.

 

[Mergogne]

Kryobaijani National Souvenir Industry

The millions of hardworking Kryobaijanis who strive every day to provide delightful and memorable keepsakes and novelties for the European community are very upset to see the rise of this cheap knockoff. The shoddy imitation of Kryobaijani marketing techniques and home-style, artisan crafts is a tragedy that will surely make any discriminating connoisseur of homey tchotchkes turn to KNSI.

We therefore make this solemn swear to the European consumer: from now on, all items purchased at KNSI will contain 50% fewer carcinogens. This is a great burden that KNSI is taking on, be we are sure that our products will stand out as a bright glowing beacon of high quality and excellent craftsmanship, among the other knickknacks peddled across the globe (such as those found in Dohva).

 

[Dohva]

We are shock and anger by the response of the Kryobaijani. We merely try to share Dohvan treasures with the world. President Borat sends his personal apologies if you are offended. We offer 20 female worker for your factory. They are strong like ox and good on plow.