Ágústa Eva Guðmundsdóttir: My Diary~! <3

[Vittoria]

Friday January 8th, 2010

Dear Diary,

I got you for Christmas this year and I really haven't been able to muster up the desire to write. Today was so strange though, I felt it might be a good day to start. Before I do that though, maybe I should introduce myself to you.

My name is Ágústa Eva Guðmundsdóttir. I am 13 years old. There is also my little brother who I swear is the spawn of the devil. He's always up to no good, whether that means pulling my hair or even spitting in it. I love my mom and my dad they are the best, well most of the time. I have a dog, her name is Laika, she's very noisy, but I love her a lot too.

Sometimes I wonder why things are the way they are? Like why do sugar beets not taste as good as sugar? Why would pepper make me sneeze? How can Dad drink so much beer? Why does Kristín like to flaunt herself? On that note just because she has bigger boobs than the rest of my class doesn't mean she's any cooler than the rest of us.

I live in Vik. I go to Jóhannes úr Kötlum School. Not much to say about school. Not yet anyway.

Vik i Mýrdal is the capital of Godthåbland. It's where I live and where things got weird. Today men and women stormed parliament with guns when I was on my way to school. It was odd I saw them take people away from Parliament in handcuffs. The news says we are now Communist. Mom and Dad said not to worry and everything will be alright. I don't understand though. The people who went into Parliament looked nice, and Communism is a bad thing, or that's what the Queen used to say. I'm rather confused.

Writing in this diary is difficult. I'll try again tomorrow.​

 

[Vittoria]

Saturday January 9th, 2010

Dear Diary,

What is a world without poor introductions? First impressions mean everything, but who ever really gives a good first impression? I mean we all try, but that cute boy who sits in front of me in math class probably things I'm psycho pathetic! "Hi, I like your shoelaces." Who says that? Maybe that positive outlook on that is that I have good attention to detail. Shoelaces are an important fashion accessory too. Think of all the opportunities to use glitter!

So while we're on the topic of something pathetic and introductions, I think it's a great time try to talk about myself more. Obviously this important because you will be reading about me and I am clearly that fascinating. If I didn't think so why would I be so conceited as in to actually write about myself? Let's not answer that!

Let's start with likes and dislikes. I like bubble gum. Who doesn't? It's soft, chewy and can have all kinds of uses. I swear I can make the biggest bubble in Vik, but I doubt they'll make a competition for me to win. I'm an excellent driver. Never-mind the fact that I'm too young to have a drivers license or actually own a car. I feel the best drivers start young. I'm pretty sure cookies are a fan favorite of everyone. If you don't like cookies are aren't human. I dislike it when your mom decides you need a haircut and decides to give you one herself. Although admittedly it's infinitely hilarious when mom gives one to my brother. I hate germs. They are so small that they could be even smaller than I actually think they are, and I hate them so much because I dislike being sick. Lastly, I dislike vomit. Have you ever noticed how it always tastes like a mix of orange juice, pizza, and sour apples?

Well today was the first impression of our so called transitional government. For some reason this has been very interesting for me. I've never cared about anything on television that isn't cartoons, and so Mama thinks that I'm growing up. She says if I keep this up I'll grow up to be a great politician. Well at least that means I don't have to do any math. Yuck!

As a first impression we new People's Transitional Army march past Parliament. We've never had an army before, but they say it is necessary to maintain our social paradise safe from those who wish to harm us. I don't know who would wish to harm us. The Queen they say, but she never wanted to harm us before. They have denounced the monarchy several times, calling them a class of elitist privilege that is outdated in our modern world. I've always wanted to be a Princess, and Papa always calls me his little Princess, so clearly monarchy works very well in our household. I refuse to be outdated, and so I told my parents we needed to be more fashionable and become and adopt some republican elements in our household. It was a funny joke, until they told me it was a good idea and to do the dishes. Apparently I'm too young to vote.

Schools are closed this week to observe the birth-date of our independence. My parents say they are worried the curriculum might change and they might try to brainwash me. They said don't believe everything you hear on the radio and television. People are always trying to trick me. My parents always said never to talk to strangers anyway, so I don't think it will be a problem. Our temporary Presidential leader, or at least that is the fancy title he has said that he will be opening a competition to the entire country for us to choose a new flag for our new country. I'm not sure what is wrong with the current one, but it does look kind of plain. They always told us at school it was cool because it was in the shape of a box. Apparently nobody does that. I don't know why, boxes are very useful.

I've told Mama that I'm going to design a flag for the competition. She said do whatever you think is right. I'm not sure what that is supposed to mean, but I think I can come up with something better than what we have right now. Dad said not to make it too complicated, because the best flags don't have too much junk on them. I understand what he means when I was looking through a book on the flags of the world at the library today. Dad was surprised the library was still open.

Good night Vik! It's time for me to go to sleep.
​

 

[Vittoria]

Wednesday January 13th, 2010

Dear Diary,

Getting busy. No, not like that. There is a lot going on and I haven't really been able to write. It's one in the morning right now!

With no school this week and things getting complex I have begun to worry. Now this isn't the same as worrying for the test in class you didn't study for. I mean there are perfectly good reasons not to want to study German. Who really likes that area of the world anyway? They just make bombs and why should I need to learn to properly spit while speaking just to make things go boom? Although I've been told Leopard tanks are the very best tanks in the world. My crazy uncle is a big tanks enthusiast, he served in the Fjäderholmarnar military for many years. Although nicknames do exist for a reason and the man surely is crazy. Don't even start with him about G3s. Papa and him talked about that all Christmas last year. It was the worst Christmas ever.

Now I sound like a butch hairy bimbo who shoots stuff with her boyfriend who drives a truck. I don't aspire to be a whore nor do I plan on ever shooting a gun. Killing people is wrong naturally. Thankfully Godthåbland isn't very good at killing people. We're not exactly the psychopathics that are in Meribia. Papa always said if you're going to do something, make sure you are the very best at it though. So if you're going to suck at life, I suppose they do a very good job. On the other hand, I think I'm good at life. I'm not so sure life is good with me though.

I haven't seen any of my friends since the revolution as they call it. It really sucks. My family from the rest of Godthåbland have come to Vik so we can all be with each other. They are all worried about what might happen next. The news programs are all on hiatus like school is. Mama and Papa keep the shades closed whenever the family gets together in the evening. They talk about things I'm not allowed to hear. You'd think that they'd know that, that would automatically make me want to know what is going on. Weren't my parents kids at one time? How do grow ups always forget what it is like to be a kid? I for one will never give up bubble gum.

So I sneak around the house always trying to hear what they are saying. They are calling themselves, uh-oh, someone's coming. Lights out! I'm supposed to be sleeping!
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