Day of Rage (ATTN: Crotobaltislavonia)

[Kadikistani Union]

STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL COMMUNIQUÉ
FOR THE EYES OF THE PRESIDENT-FOR-LIFE ONLY
FROM: Colonel Novak Kivilev, Chairman of the Commanding Bureau of the Directorate of Intelligence, People's Federal Socialist Republic of

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TO: Raoul Farrago, President-for-Life, Free Canton of

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SUBJECT: Developing situation in Banja Luka

His Most Esteemed Excellency, President-for-Life, Raoul Farrago

It is with great regret that we must write to you again concerning the developing situation in Banja Luka. Both media and our agents on the ground have confirmed significant protests aimed against your legitimate regime. We will thoroughly exanimate the cause of these protests as well as their instigators, be they foreign or domestic. We request an immediate and detailed report on the happenings in Crotobaltislavonia and the course of action the socialist regime is taking.

For the time being we are sure the socialist Farrago regime will endure and manage the situation appropriately. Joint Kadikistani-Slavonian training programs have prepared your forces for exactly these kinds of events. Meanwhile our reduced troops in Crotobaltislavonia have been put on high alert and the gradual disbandment of our military presence is put on hold. The situation must be handled by Slavonian Security Forces for as long as Your Excellency deems their force sufficient. Kadikistani Expeditionary Forces may be deployed once the situation requires it, but not without the approval of the President-for-Life and the First Secretary.

Sincerely yours,
Colonel Novak Kirilev
Directorate of Intelligence
People's Federal Socialist Republics of Kadikistan

 

[Crotobaltislavonia]

STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL COMMUNIQUÉ
FOR THE EYES OF COLONEL NOVAK KIVILEV ONLY
FROM: Colonel Virginijus Seskus, Assistant Chairman of the State Political Administration, Free Canton of Crotobaltislavonia
TO: Colonel Novak Kivilev, Chairman of the Commanding Bureau of the Directorate of Intelligence, People's Federal Socialist Republic of

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SUBJECT: Developing situation in Banja Luka

Dear Sir,

It is my sad duty to inform you that President-for-LIfe Raoul Farrago has taken ill and his administration of the Free Canton has been suspended while he recovers. The strain was too much for The Dear Leader and his closest advisors believed his decision making was becoming . . . erratic. For the time being, my superior, General Yevgraf Kruten, has assumed The Dear Leader's duties and responsibilities.

As you say, the Free Canton's military and security forces are strong. The Army has been put on alert to protect the Free Canton from outside attack. Our security forces are monitoring the situation and are ready, willing, and able to enforce the law and restore order at a moment's notice. It is the local police that concerns the Free Canton. But they are only cops armed with revolvers and would stand no chance against our might.

At this time, the Free Canton cannot point to any outside instigation of the demonstrations plaguing its cities, Yiddish or otherwise. And to do would be irresponsible and threaten regional peace (unfortunately, a course of action The Dear Leader was falling towards). At this time, the Free Canton believes that outside intervention from our friend and ally Kadikistan would only inflame the situation and cause the 'Committee for a Free Crotobaltislavonia' to grow into a 'United Front for the Salvation of the Motherland' or some such nonsense. Rest assured, the Free Canton has long experience with dealing with such matters and this time will be no different.

I remain,

Colonel Virginijus Seskus,
Assistant Chairman, State Political Administration
Free Canton of Crotobaltislavonia

 

[Kadikistani Union]

STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL COMMUNIQUÉ
FOR THE EYES OF THE PRESIDENT-FOR-LIFE ONLY
FROM: Colonel Novak Kivilev, Chairman of the Commanding Bureau of the Directorate of Intelligence, People's Federal Socialist Republic of

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TO: Colonel Virginijus Seskus, Assistant Chairman of the State Political Administration, Free Canton of

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SUBJECT: Developing situation in Banja Luka

Colonel Virginijus Seskus

We have received your message well and wish to congratulate General Yevgraf Kruten for taking this enormous burden upon himself. We are sure a man as prestigious and committed as him will do a fine job in running the nation during Raoul Farrago's absence. As a token of friendship we would like to dispatch a team of the Union's finest medical specialists to aid in the recovery of the President-for-Life. Upon your approval we would also like to dispatch one of our elite units to aid in the personal protection of the Big Brother.

Sincerely,
Colonel Novak Kirilev
Directorate of Intelligence
People's Federal Socialist Republics of

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[Crotobaltislavonia]

STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL COMMUNIQUÉ
FOR THE EYES OF COLONEL NOVAK KIVILEV ONLY
FROM: Colonel Virginijus Seskus, Assistant Chairman of the State Political Administration, Free Canton of

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TO: Colonel Novak Kivilev, Chairman of the Commanding Bureau of the Directorate of Intelligence, People's Federal Socialist Republic of

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SUBJECT: Developing situation in Banja Luka

Dear Sir,

The Free Canton is grateful for your offer of medical assistance and security for The Dear Leader. However, we now know that he is suffering from dioxin poisoning. Unfortunately, the poison was too much. The damage has gone too far. There is nothing that can be done. The Dear Leader will die in the next 48 hours.

I say again that the Free Canton has no evidence of a foreign hand in the pending assassination of The Dear Leader. On the contrary, the State Political Administration believes there is an alignment of internal anti-Farrago forces. Pochenkoists. Royalist reactionaries. Capitalists. Even the peaceniks out in Red Square. The usual suspects. Again, rest assured they will be suppressed in good time.

When The Dear Leader finally passes, Dear Valerian Fyodorov will succeed as President-for-Life. He is a good man who was selected by The Dear Leader for his personal integrity and uncompromising devotion to the tenets of Marxism-Leninovism.

I remain,

Colonel Virginijus Seskus,
Assistant Chairman, State Political Administration
Free Canton of Crotobaltislavonia