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HEADLINE: El Presidente addresses unruliness of students at La Jolla University
La JOLLA: In response to several illegal and immoral protests by unruly and misguided students at La Jolla University, El Presidente has announced a temporary closure of the school and investigations into possible subversive elements "eating away at the moral core of our intellectual institutions". So far, several professors in residence have been arrested in connection to rebellious and illicit acts against the state.
Students were amassed at a rally supposedly denouncing the rule of the benevolent Presidente, crying out lies and spreading corruption. El Presidente says he "does not blame the youths, who are still growing and impressionable. They are merely misguided, but will one day be the leaders of our fair country. It is our responsibility to see that they are capable in this effort. Not to fill their heads with lies and deceit in an effort to destroy our way of life."
No students have been arrested, but the Federal Police are now protecting the school in its intercession from potential vandals. There is no word on when the school will be re-opened.
WEEKLY HIGHLIGHTS:
-Levantine mining corporation prospects a new silver vein in the interior mountains. Men and women looking for work are notified that they should head to Oaja to see if they qualify for a job
-Bananas reported to have done "very well" in the fall harvest. Experienced planters are sought to reseed new fields. Contact your local labor organizer.
-A new movie "Soledad y Prosperidad", the tale of our Presidente growing up with the country, is in theatres. Critics say it is a "smash hit".
-Several books have been added to the ban list. Check your local library for details.
-Need work? Want to be a professional in a career your family can be proud of? Join the Army! Contact your local recruiter today!