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Miroslavan Central State News

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Miroslavan Central State News
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Truth for all children of the Divine Revolution

(OOC Note: Any inaccuracies in the following news posts are probably intentional propaganda. This is, after all, being inspired by the KCNA.)
 
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Words of Support for Boliatur Communists
Today the State Advisory Committee and it's illustrious chief and our beloved national leader Premier Miroslava praised the Boliatur Communist State for its support against the atheist-fascist monarchial regimes of Europa. In recent weeks the enemies of the Divine Revolution have declared their intentions to destroy Boliatur and enforce liberal-atheism and monarchic democracy upon any survivors.

In the words of the Premier:
"The Soviet Republic of Miroslavl and it's eternal allies abroad fully support our Revolutionary brethren in Boliatur and condemn any attempt by foreign devil-worshipers in destroying the lawful Boliatur regime."

The Miroslavan People's Revolutionary Army also announced its support for the Boliatur People's Republic and vowed to assist Boliatur's people with ten billion bullets.
 

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Excerpt from a headline story in the Wislica Times

... in a statement made today, Premier Dawid Grudzinski harshly condemned the warmongering rhetoric of the Miroslavan Soviet Dictatorship, calling their support of the anarchists in Boliatur "dangerous" and "an unacceptable attempt by the Soviet Republic to throw its weight around and break something in the process." He also warned that "any attempt by the armed forces of Miroslavl to extend their corrupting reach beyond their borders will be seen as an active threat to the Mezhist Union as a whole, and will be dealt with accordingly."

As such, the Premier promised to immediately consult with his fellow Premier in the Upper Cerulunian Federative Mezhist Republic in response to this aggressive posturing by our mortal enemies to the south...
 
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Mehzist Fascists Threaten War
In what has long since become a weekly occurrence the Satano-fascists of the Mehzist Confederacy once again threatened the Soviet Republic of Miroslavl with war. Citing boredom and unhappy sex lives, the capitalist puppet masters of the Soviet Republic's Prime Enemy declared their intent to eat babies and rape livestock as far south as Himyar in a campaign of organized depravity and violence against all the free world. As Europa's shield against Mehzist aggression, the Soviet Republic of Miroslavl continues to stand vigilant against the northern barbarians and will never bow to their sinful, un-Godly ways.

While the State Advisory Committee declined to comment on "the base chitterings of insects", the Miroslavan Red Guard has declared that it will forever hold Miroslavl's northern border against the Prime Enemy, and Miroslavan People's Revolutionary Army leaders promised to drown any Mehzist invaders in blood and fire.
 

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Clip from the Federal Network

"What we have is the immature response by a set of immature children." [Says Director for International Affairs Gustaw Estowski while sitting at his office desk. He takes a sip from his glass of water.] "This should be no surprise, as the inferior Soviets have nothing to throw at our Great Union but hypocritical ad hominem Propaganda and "bogeyman" stories. They call us such obtuse names such as "Satano-Fascists", expliciting that we worship the devil. This cannot be any further from the truth. We know we are in the right, for the Almighty is in the right, and we are the people chosen by the Almighty. This is exactly what happens when purest divine Slavic blood is tarnished by the stain of mingling with sinful Khazars. Like the Nephilim of Genesis, the Soviets are the result of an unholy parentage, when the Sons of God and the Daughters of Men unite to create aberrants that threaten the Almighty's divine plan."

=The Federal Council shrugged at the Soviet attack and collectively explained that there is nothing to be said about the ramblings of children with hyperactive imaginations.=

=Premier Stukow, during a brief interview following his latest chemo-radiotherapy session, gave his impression of the bottom line.=

[Stukow stands in the parking lot of Geicz General Hospital with an audience and FEDNET crew. The Premier's hair is thinning, as expected.]

"Once again, the Soviets prove their inferiority by allowing their massive inferiority complex to drive their actions. Supporting anarchy and disorder in Boliatur is foolhardy. An ordered society is the only definition one can think of when one says "society". We have seen through history that despite what the proponents of anarchism claim, anarchy will not result in order, even in the long run."

=Would you like to know more?=
 
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Danmark

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Udenrigsministeriet
Kongeriket Store Danskerne

Gamle Regeringerkvarteret, Christiansborg

The Mezhist Union continues to lead by example in providing truly exemplary leadership of the Sarmatian region to which the Great Danish realm is determined to support in this - lock, stock and barrel. The Mezhists are, as such, truly deserving of the mantle of the leaders of Sarmatia.

The rogue regime of Mrysini has proven cataclysmically woeful in all forms of governance and has demonstrated a wholesale deficit in providing for its people like none other in memory the result of which has seen it deservedly ostracised and shunned by all responsible governments with any measure of nounce and intellect.

It is somewhat disconcerting to see the government of Miroslavl pitch in its lot with the regime, though this perhaps indicates an inherent mechanism of failure among similarly aligned regimes of which that of Miroslavl appears to be the latest.

The erratic pronouncement of the Miroslavl regime will not swerve the just in sweeping away the causes of intolerance and malignancy and in this effort and it makes no difference to our determination whatsoever.

If Miroslavl wants to realistically hold sway and increase its respect, it would be better served reexamining its foreign policy positions and reorientating them to ones that actually mean something
lest the Miroslavl regime be simply swept away into increasing irrelevance.

His Danic Majesty's government shall, under current circumstances, seek closer cooperation with the Mezhist Union in forthcoming weeks and enhance already strong ties. Miroslavl can also be a partner in this, but not if it continues to plough its lonely and cack-handed furrow.


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HR. HENRIK J. WESTERVELD

FOREIGN MINISTER TO REX DANUM MAGNUM
 
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Danish Warlocks Ensorcell Oceans
Earlier today the sorcerers of Lucifersborg issued a statement announcing their intentions to "sweep away the world" in an ocean of demon-possessed water. The Miroslav Orthodox Church has condemned this witchcraft and village priests are already reportedly consecrating their local water sources, with the Archbishops of Stalnogorod and Grozhod further pledging to bless the Veya and Taras rivers - and through them the oceans that they run to - tomorrow at noon.

The Miroslavan People's Revolutionary Army, ever stalwart, has declared that it will defend the Soviet Republic's borders against the Danish warlocks and will isolate and destroy any tainted water that they encounter.
 

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Excerpt from a headline story in the Oswiecim Post

... the Secretary of Foreign Affairs, did not provide much reaction to the latest drivel from our maddened foes to the south, save for a tired chuckle and quick remark, "It's amazing how those oxygen-starved fanatics continue to function, with accusations like that running through their pitiful minds. Next the desperate Reds will claim that they are working on something that will starve our minds and make us just like them... the poor devils."

The Secretary also made a response to the Danish Foreign Ministers remarks that provoked the latest flailing from the Soviet Republic, calling the Danish support for the Mezhist Union "admirable, ranking high alongside their abandonment of the Neo Unholy Germanic Empire, disguised as the so-called Germanian League. Truly, the Danes are a people to be respected by their friends, feared by their enemies such as the Soviet dogs, and on behalf of Premier Grudzinski, we look forward to expanded relations with them."

There is also word from the Secretary of War and Defense that the Lower Cerulunian Confederative Mezhist Republic's fleets would expand their patrols in the forseeable future to guard against the bloody, corrupt expansionism of the Soviet Republic. Exact numbers were not given, but the Secretary assured...

OOC: By the by Dan, it's Mezhist Union. Mehzist Confederacy is dirty Soviet propaganda. Resist the Red corruption with your whole mind, not just half of it!
 
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Mehzist Pirates Scourge Snieg Ocean
Three days ago Mehzist naval vessels began a campaign of piracy against civilian shipping in the Snieg Ocean, attacking and sinking a Miroslavan civilian transport ship in international waters. The vessel, known as the Liberation, was bound for war-torn Boliatur with a cargo of industrial supplies, and all twenty crewmen aboard were killed in the savage attack.

Premier Miroslava and the State Advisory Committee actively condemned the unlawful act:
"The Soviet Republic of Miroslavl will not allow the Mehzist Confederacy to run rampant in international waters! We greatly urge all of the international community to band together against this threat and condemn the Mehzists for their actions."

The State Advisory Committee further demanded reparations from the Prime Enemy for the deaths of the crewmen involved.

The Miroslavan People's Navy meanwhile has deployed a naval task force to the Snieg Straight to protect international shipping in the area from Mehzist piracy. The Miroslavan Red Guard has also begun fortifying the Soviet Republic's borders against expected Mehzist attacks, and Miroslavan People's Revolutionary Army leaders vowed to rip and tear the guts of any demonic fascist invaders.
 

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Excerpt from a headline story in the Oswiecim Post

... Premier Dawid Grudzinski, in a speech to the Confederate Congress, contemptuously dismissed the latest bluster from the Red Horde to extensive applause and amusement from the assembled Congressmen. In his speech, he described the Soviet accusations to be, "As usual, severely lacking in accuracy. The Soviet Republic blatantly ignored our warnings, warnings which have merit from previous, expansionist actions by the Soviets, and sent out a freighter which, far from being loaded with so-called humanitarian aid, was filled with explosives and ammunition intended on expanding the conflict in Anarchist Boliatur. This is supported by evidence of the unusually large explosion that engulfed the freighter after ignoring all hails and numerous warning shots from our patrol at the time."

After the booing and denouncement of the treacherous actions of the Red Horde, Premier Grudzinski followed up, "We have stated this before, and we shall do so again: the Soviet Republic of Miroslavl shall never be allowed to extend its reach beyond its borders, not so long as the Mezhist Union stands to hold back the tide of bloody corruption, the only thing the Soviets have to offer to Europe. Our patience shall not be tested, and our guns shall be ready when words fail. The Soviet Republic would do well to realize that we shall never back down until their despicable government is erased from history, and its people finally brought into the loving embrace of Mezhist-inspired civilization!"

The reaction from the rest of Europe is as of yet unknown, though our mortal foes, the Criminal's Republic of Carentania, have already condemned our noble and righteous actions and called upon Europe to do the same, a claim that has thus far been wisely ignored. Meanwhile, the Secretary of War and Defense vowed to take note of Soviet buildup and would make sure our borders stay clean of red filth...
 
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Mehzist Confederacy Continues Genocide
Earlier today Mehzist news agencies proudly reported their continuing efforts to exterminate ethnic Slavs and Volga Germans within their borders, executing over a hundred minority Volga Germans in the last month alone as part of what the Mehzists blasphemously call "the modern inquisition". Citing a Satanic crusade against communism, the Prime Enemy hinted at plans to expand their genocide into the People's Republic of Volga itself, drawing strong condemnations from the State Advisory Committee and the Council of Soviets.

More notable, however, were the words of Patriarch Paul VII, who spoke in public for the first time since his stroke three months ago. Though busily preparing for his passage unto Heaven and making arrangements for the appointment of a new Patriarch after his worldly death, the Patriarch of Miroslavl and all Slavs took a few moments of time to condemn the Mehzist heresy of profaning Christianity by using it as an excuse to commit murder and call for the Prime Enemy to renounce Satan and submit themselves before God:
"While the sins of the government of Swiecziema may be great, the Lord's mercy is far greater. The Mezhists(sic) may yet be redeemed if only they will cease their 'inquisition' of the common people and turn their efforts instead towards the study of God, the cleansing of His Church, and the witnessing of His Name to the peoples of the world."

The Miroslavan People's Revolutionary Army pledged to protect the People's Republic of Volga from any Mehzist aggression, physical or supernatural, and to purify any false priests attempting to expand the 'modern inquisition' outside of Mehzist territory.
 

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Excerpt from a headline story in the Stradow Tribune

... Soviet Republic, once again, spreads its evil, corrupting falsehoods against the Mezhist Union, attempting to smear our great people with crimes they would never commit, plans cooked up only in the intelligence starved mind of a Red, and overall display a complete and total disconnect from the truth. This time, they claim that we, more specifically our brothers in the Upper Swieczieman Federative Mezhist Republic, are on a campaign of genocide against Volga Germans and ethnic Slavs, our blood brothers and sisters. No one could take such preposterous accusations very seriously, and the Secretary of Foreign Affairs visibly showed such.

"I can only assume that this is a psychological slip in the minds of the Soviets, admitting that it is they who are on a campaign to exterminate Slavs and Volga Germans, not just of their lives, but their livelihoods, their freedoms, freedoms from the oppressive, vile nature of communism. But they still have not managed to take that final step, and instead substitute us for them, so horrible this self-realization must be."

Despite the Secretary's tone as he dealt with the news, leading psychologists in the Lower Swieczieman Confederative Mezhist Republic have come forward stating that he may not be that far off in his analysis. Psychologist Jan Gryzbowski, in an interview with our paper, explained that...
 
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Christians Martyred in Yujin
Several days ago minority Christians in the Jiangbei Province of Yujin were massacred by Yujin government troops commanded by Danish Satanic priests while attending a pro-communist worker's strike regarding unsafe working conditions and low pay. While twelve Yujin soldiers and four Danes were killed in the ensuing combat, several dozen Christians and more than a hundred communists were shot dead by their Satano-fascist oppressors.

While the Patriarch was unavailable for comment and Premier Miroslava busy with important matters of state, Archbishop of Volodymr Yuri Popov held a service honoring the oppressed Christians of Yujin and called for an end to violence there. The State Advisory Committee further announced that the Soviet Republic would consider economic and political sanctions upon the Yujin government in the future unless the living standards and rights of Christians and communists in Yujin are improved.

The Miroslavan People's Revolutionary Army righteously vowed to liberate all the oppressed peoples of Europa when the time of the Final Crusade is at hand.
 
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Humanitarian Missions to Boliatur and Solaren Planned
Earlier this morning a spokesman for Patriarch Paul VII announced that the Miroslav Orthodox Church, in cooperation with the Ministry of Global Relations, would be dispatching humanitarian missions to the states of Boliatur and Solaren, both of which are presently experiencing widespread civil unrest and famine due to the efforts of the liberal-atheist and Satano-fascist imperialist powers. The Archbishop of Volodymr, Yuri Popov - currently the favored candidate for the next Patriarch of Miroslavl and all Slavs - has been placed in charge of the effort, and called for an international effort to return peace and stability to these two nations:
"Whatever ideological differences there may be between the peoples of this world, there is no excuse for violence and murder, nor should any who would claim to be of morally upright character allow his fellow man to languish in poverty and suffering. All righteous nations must band together in these troubled times to provide succor to the peoples of Boliatur and Solaren, and end any thoughts or schemes of heaping additional suffering upon them through violence, conflict, and greed."

Archbishop Popov further ruled out any discussion of sending military forces with the expeditions for security or peacekeeping duties, stating that Church and volunteer security forces would be sufficient.

The Miroslavan People's Revolutionary Army bowed in humility to the wisdom and piety of the Miroslav Orthodox Church and pledged to arrange food and medical supplies for the effort.
 
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Archbishop Popov to Attend World Literary Festival
The office of Yuri Popov, Archbishop of Volodymr and heir presumptive of the Patriarch of Miroslavl, has announced that the Archbishop will be briefly traveling from the Soviet Republic to the 1952 World Literary Festival in Westhaven, Havenshire. With his own documentary 'The Kushan Invasions' among the Miroslavan entries to the festival, the Archbishop decided to personally sponsor and head a twenty-four author delegation bearing copies of more than one hundred novels, documentaries, and other works written since the end of the Divine Revolution to Westhaven in order to promote greater cultural ties between the Soviet Republic and the world at large.

The Archbishop released a small statement along with the announcement:
"There are many in the world today who view Miroslavl as backwards because it is communist. There are also some who view Miroslavl as backwards because it is religious. I hope that over the next week we can prove these skeptics wrong - peacefully, with a showing of our national arts."

The State Advisory Committee announced that it would also be sponsoring a performance of Yegor Smirnov's 'The Divine Revolution' at the festival.

The Miroslavan People's Revolutionary Army released a statement bidding good luck to retired Captain Mikhail Lebedev, who will be part of Archbishop Popov's retinue due to his work on 'A Light Enters the Gate', the first part of Lebedev's magical fantasy series of novels which was released earlier this year.
 
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Yujin Expands Genocide
Yesterday the Satano-fascist government of the Empire of Yujin continued it's campaign of religious and ethnic cleansing by massacring several hundred citizens of the city of Nianxu, including once again many Yujinese Christians. The unprovoked assault, which some witnesses described as a human sacrifice, was carried out after the show trials of several Yujinese workers' activists that resulted in exceedingly swift verdicts of guilt being handed down by the Yujin government, followed by sentences for execution by beheading.

A spokesman of the People's Commissariat for State Security has stated that the Soviet Republic has received numerous reports of Yujinese secret police openly discussing their campaign to frame the recently-sentenced activists, including a drunken boast from one of the agents involved in the action made shortly before said agent raped and devoured a small kitten.

The State Advisory Committee and the Council of Soviets issued immediate condemnations against the Yujin government and called upon the international community to act to stop the flagrant Satanism and murderous activities of the Yujinese government.

The Miroslavan People's Revolutionary Army declared that it would plan for an evacuation of all felines from Yujin within three days.
 
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Mehzist Confederacy Plans Invasion of Boliatur
Earlier today the Soviet Republic's Prime Enemy announced it's intention to invade the People's Republic of Boliatur in support of the genocidal renegade and probable Elder Thing Dorjsurenkhoroljav, whose incomprehensible name and infamy know no bounds. Promising to strike down the righteous people of Boliatur alongside their Satanic Danish allies, the Mehzist Confederacy has already begun preparations to strike at Boliatur and tighten the leash of their starvation campaign at sea, a murder-spree that has already claimed the lives of twenty Miroslavan sailors with the sinking of the Liberation last month.

The Premier and the State Advisory Committee announced that the Soviet Republic of Miroslavl would in no way allow the Prime Enemy to begin their hateful work in Boliatur unchallenged, and have announced a counter-blockade of the Boliatur coast, to be carried out by the glorious Northern Fleet of the Miroslavan People's Navy. The Premier himself gave a fiery speech before the Council of Soviets, declaring that any attempt by the Mehzist Confederacy to violate Boliaturian neutrality would be considered an act of war against the Soviet Republic.

The Premier also called upon all free and upright nations of Europe to stand united against the Satano-fascist aggression which has laid low the Boliatur Communist State:
"If the Swieczieman menace insists in hurling itself, grenade-like, upon the innocent peoples of Boliatur, then the Soviet Republic of Miroslavl will in turn throw itself upon that grenade. Boliatur will not stand alone! But neither should the Soviet Republic. It is time for all the free nations of the world - for all those who would call themselves righteous and just - to stand in defense of the nation of Boliatur against those who would oppress and enslave it."

The Miroslavan People's Revolutionary Army announced full-scale mobilization in the defense of the Soviet Republic.
 

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Office of the General Executive of International Affairs

The Hated Enemy continues to try the patience of the Mezhist Union, so badly it desires to see our blood spilled that it will sacrifice all reason and common sense to achieve this goal, and will go so far as to damn its entire people to pain and suffering for so futile a conflict, not just in Boliatur, but in Sarmatia as well. But we will not be intimidated or cowed by the bluster of the Soviets, for we see how weak and unprepared they actually are for this conflict they edge towards. Should they desire death, we shall give it to them, either by bullet or by the harsh winds of winter that so rapidly approach us, winds we have weathered for centuries, winds they have not. The so-called "People's Navy" is a pathetic entity, even by the standards of the Soviet military, that, should it dare challenge the might of the Union Navy, be swept aside with little to no effort and without mercy.

It is thus that we hereby announce our full-scale mobilization of the Mezhist Union, so as to generously, almost to the point of foolhardiness, give the Soviets one last chance to see reason and turn back now before they plummet off the edge and into the oblivion of a hopeless war with us. But if they take that step, they will be defeated. It is inevitable, indeed it is the will of god for the blight of Soviet aggression to be wiped off the face of the map, replaced by pure, Swieczieman civilization.

They have been warned.

Sincerely,
Boleslaw Gorski, General Executive of International Affairs
 
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