Off the record (ATTN: Ashkelon)

[Pelasgia]

DIPLOMATIC DISPATCH
***TOP SECRET***
​

Date: 2 December 1956
From: Embassy of the Pelasgian Empire in Hebron, Principal District
To: Ministry of Foreign Affairs of the Combined Anointed Realms of [MENTION=620]Ashkelon[/MENTION]
Subject: Amelioration of economic and diplomatic ties
Classification: Α1 - Top Secret

To the attention of the Right Honourable Minister of Foreign Affairs of Ashkelon.

Honourable Sir,

I have been instructed by His Imperial Majesty's Government, to invite a delegation from your government to the embassy at a previously arranged date and time. The purpose of our meeting would be the discussion of ways to enhance economic, diplomatic, cultural and other relations between our two nations, as well as any other matters that might be of concern. Understandably, it is our side's belief that maintaining secrecy of this meeting and its proceedings both in advance of, during, and after its taking place is most important so as to achieve progress without external pressure. If your side is in agreement, we would be more than willing to host such a meeting.

Yours sincerely,

Anaxandros Nikolaou Dytikos

Ambassador of the Pelasgian Empire in Hebron, P.D.

ΤΟΥΤΩΙ ΝΙΚΑ

*** THIS MESSAGE IS THE PROPERTY OF THE GOVERNMENT OF THE PELASGIAN EMPIRE - ILLEGAL POSSESSION, DISTRIBUTION, OR OTHER USE OF THIS MESSAGE IS ILLEGAL UNDER IMPERIAL LAW AND IS HARSHLY PUNISHED ***
*** ΤΟ ΠΑΡΟΝ ΜΗΝΥΜΑ ΕΙΝΑΙ ΙΔΙΟΚΤΗΣΙΑ ΤΗΣ ΚΥΒΕΡΝΗΣΗΣ ΤΗΣ ΒΑΣΙΛΕΙΑΣ ΤΩΝ ΠΕΛΑΣΓΩΝ - ΟΠΟΙΑΔΗΠΟΤΕ ΠΑΡΑΝΟΜΗ ΚΑΤΟΧΗ, ΔΙΑΝΟΜΗ, Ή ΛΟΙΠΗ ΧΡΗΣΗ ΑΥΤΟΥ ΑΠΑΓΟΡΕΥΤΑΙ ΚΑΤΑ ΒΑΣΙΛΙΚΟ ΝΟΜΟ ΚΑΙ ΤΙΜΩΡΕΙΤΑΙ ΑΥΣΤΗΡΑ ***
​

 

[Ashkelon]

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Department of Relations
מסווג : כֶּתֶר‎
CLASSIFIED: KETER

TO HIS EXCELLENCY ANAXANDROS NIKOLAOU DYTIKOS, AMBASSADOR OF THE EMPIRE OF [MENTION=1774]Pelasgia[/MENTION]

Your Excellency,

We are honoured to receive this invitation from His Imperial Majesty's government. It has been forwarded to Principal Brüche and Chancellor ben David, who have reviewed the proposal and deemed that a clandestine meeting, free from coercive outside influence, is the best way to approach the crucial matter of improving the relations between our two nations. The Principal and Chancellor have assembled a delegation, and we are ready to meet with your representatives at the appointed time and venue.

We look forward to a future of stronger ties and cooperation with our neighbours in the Pelasgian Empire.

Respectfully yours,

Debora MacAvay (nee Abramski)
Secretary of Relations

 

[Pelasgia]

[FONT=&amp] Embassy of the Pelasgian Empire, Hebron P.D., Combined Anointed Realms of [MENTION=620]Ashkelon[/MENTION][/FONT]

Ambassador Dytikos was staring at the corner formed by the beige-coloured walls of his office. That sharp corner had once been the humble domicile of a creature which his son had called a “six-legged monster,” commonly known as the household spider to most people. Other than that little instance, on a day when the cleaner happened to call in sick and the Ambassador’s wife had come to the embassy with their son for a social event, that corner was otherwise insignificant. Of course, it had gained some sort of significance in that the ambassador would always stare at that exact same spot when he dozed off before some important meeting.

His first name, Anaxander, was that of the man who had first brought Hierosolyma and all of Philistaea to Pelasgian rule, and his son’s, Cassander, was that of the man who established the Pelasgistic Empire against which the Jews revolted. That second development was the source of Hanukah, the holiday which the Jewry of Ashkelon, Pelasgia, and all of Europe were celebrating at the moment. As the Jews celebrated their victory over the Pelasgians, and the Pelasgians prepared for the celebration of Christmas in the great Cathedral of the Holy Triad, which stood on top of the Temple Mount in Hierosolyma, friendship between the children of Pelasgus and the offspring of Abraham seemed as unlikely as ever.

Yet, it was the duty of the Ambassador to ensure that these talks would take place and that the best effort for a successful agreement to be reached would be put in by the Pelasgian side, even if nothing came out the discussion. After all, these talks were secret, so neither side risked losing face or feeling bitter if they failed; that, along with the Pelasgians’ refusal to even discuss the possibility of ceding territory in public under the current precarious circumstances, was the main cause for the talks’ clandestine nature in the first place.

Ambassador Dytikos’s long, empty stare and silent pondering were suddenly cut short by the sound of his secretary’s footsteps. The tall, olive-skinned man, whose features were indicative of his combined Urudoah-Aethiopan heritage, was a bit startled, but quickly collected himself, before speaking.

«Περάστε, κυρία Λαζαρίδου.»
“Come in, Ms. Lazaridou”

«Κύρια Πρεσβευτά, οἱ Ἀσκελώνιοι ἀπεσταλμένοι εἶναι ἐδῶ.»
“Mr. Ambassador, the Ashkelonian delegates have arrived.”

«Σᾶς εὐχαριστῶ. Μὲ συγχωρεῖτε, πρέπει νὰ πάω να τοὺς καλοσορίσω.»
“Thank you. Excuse me, I need to go and welcome them.”

 

[Ashkelon]

The black unmarked car parked out the front of the Pelasgian Embassy building, one of several effigies that lined the length of Garden Ave, commonly known as "Embassy Lane" to the locals, who pointed out the obvious fact that there were a lot of foreign embassies on this road. The Pelasgian Embassy sat just across the street from the combined Tiburan-Warreic Embassy, a holdover from those olden times when the Warreic Guard served to protect the Pope.

Three men wearing rather large hats stepped out of the car, the driver taking the vehicle to parking after the third one shut the door. They ascended the steps into the building.

Principal Brüche was the first to remove his hat once inside. "Okay. Whoever nixed my bright idea of wearing trench coats to go with the hats should get a commendation," he pointed out as they approached the counter.

"Those would have only called attention to us, Mr. Principal," said Majority Leader Owain MacCarrain as he removed his own hat. "Can you imagine the headlines? 'Suspected Communist Spies Spotted Entering Pelasgian Embassy'. It would cause an outrage."

"Oh please." Brüche waved it off. "You people watch too many spy movies. No spy actually wears trench coats and big hats. It's too obvious!"

"Precisely why we aren't wearing trench coats, Mr. Principal," MacCarrain countered. "It's too obvious."

"Gentlemen, I suggest we get on with our business," said the third delegate, an Urodah man in a kippah and tzitzit protruding from his shirt. "The day is short."

"Congressman Anwar is right," MacCarrain said. "We should get going, Mr. Principal."

"Fine, fine." Brüche led the group to the desk officer, who greeted them with the rehearsed sort of smile you expected most people with such a job to be trained in.

"And how may I help you this fine day, Mr. Principal?"

"We have an appointment with the ambassador," the Principal answered, clearing his throat. "We're expected."

"Ah yes, of course." The desk officer took a brief moment to double check on the printed schedule, before speaking into the intercomm, possibly with the ambassador's personal assistant. "Down the hallway on the right, please."

"Tizki lemitzvot," said the Principal, as he went along with the directions. "This way, boys!"

 

[Pelasgia]

[FONT=&amp] [/FONT]Ambassador Dytikos, along with Lochagos (Captain) Periandros Cydreliotes, the military attaché, Nikolaos Papatheodorou, the embassy's economic specialist, and Theochares Akroteriotes, the embassy's chief intelligence officer, who represented the Imperial Intelligence Agency (VIP)'s voice in the negotiations, awaited the arrival of the Ashkelonian delegates in the embassy's meeting room. Upon the entry of the three men, the Pelasgian delegates stood up, and shook hands, welcoming them.

"Welcome to our humble embassy," the Ambassador said, half jokingly, "we hope it is up to your standards."

After the formalities of greeting eachother were done, the Ambassador presented the three Ashkelonians with a Plyrexousion Chrysoboulon signed and sealed by the Emperor himself, granting the Pelasgian delegates full negotiating power on the Pelasgian Empire's behalf, in their respective fields, with the Ambassador having the final word over the Empire's position. The document was among a stuck of papers that the Pelasgian delegates had been provided with, though there was hardly any chance the Pelasgians would show their Ashkelonian counterparts any of those anytime soon. Having presented the Imperial Decree, Ambassador Dytikos sat back down, along with the other delegates, and placed it in his folder.

"Please take a seat," he said; "Would you like something to eat or drink?"

There already was some water, along with some some Pelasgian treats, Christmas sweets such as Melomakarona, Diples, and Kourampiedes, which, in traditional Pelasgian fashion, focused on honey and nuts as their source of flavour instead of sugar, on the table, but the Ambassador thought that the Ashkelonians would like something else to eat, before the dinner that was to follow of course.

 

[Ashkelon]

MacCarrain followed as Büche led the delegation into the room and the two groups exchanged courtesies. It was the sort of thing that everybody did these days. Simple formalities that to the congressman, had become just another decoration on the game of politics.

"Oh yes, it's definitely up to spec!" the Principal responded enthusiastically. "Love what you've done with the place!"

Büche certainly was an amicable man. Perhaps too amicable, sometimes. But he had won on a platform of free market policies and increased states' rights for the realms. In this age where socialism and federal overreach appeared to be growing more popular throughout Europe, he won the hearts of the people by going in the opposite direction. Of course, this was Ashkelon. The people of the Combine held this international stereotype of bitterly clinging to their freedoms. Their "Guns and Tanakhs", as Congresswoman Rothschild had once dismissively called it.

That was a big mistake.

The three men obliged to the offer of having a seat. The reactions to the offer of food was a bit more mixed than that, however.

Büche was quick to voice his thanks, picking up one of the golden brown egg-shaped cookies and popping it into his mouth. His satisfaction was soon on display. MacCarrain was slower to choose, his hand hovering over the serving plates like an undecided claw crane game before he finally settled on the rolled dough pastry.

Anwar played it safest, and answered with a question of his own. "Are these kosher?"

Never mind that he looked more like a person who would shout 'Allahu Akbar!' than a person who would ask such a question.

 

[Pelasgia]

The somewhat overly familiar tone of Büche made Captain Cydreliotes and Akroteriotes quickly look at eachother, though the ambassador smiled pretended it was nothing extraordinary.

"Haha, indeed, we did our best."

Papatheodorou had no observable reaction, until the kosher question came up, leaving the three other men with no answer, for, though they knew the criteria for a food to be kosher, as part of their briefing before coming the Ashkelon, they weren't exactly sure what the traditional candy had in it; they usually left such matters to the women of the house, coming from Kyparrissia, Aethyia, and Euxenia, which were far from the most egalitarian of places, at least in matters of gender.

Captain Cydreliotes in particular was rather comically annoyed, to the point of blushing, for, having an enormous ego like most Pelasgian military men, he wasn't accustomed to being embarrassed in front of others. Why does that Jihadi-looking fellow even care? Is he wondering if we keep any goats around, too? The economic specialist, whose hobby was baking, an otherwise hilarious fact for the other Pelasgians, happily proclaimed that they were, in fact, kosher.

After the three Ashkelonians had tasted their treats, the ambassador spoke again.

"Well, I hope the treats were enjoyable. In any case, we will have a more complete dinner later. Now," he said, "being our guests, what is the first matter you would like to discuss? I am certain there's quite a few on everyone's mind."