The Klansman

[Catalina]

Mining Cave In

In a State run coal mine up in the Smokey Mountains, it is reported that there have been at least 300 deaths. Fortunately, all of these reported deaths are slaves. Secretary of Labor, Jackson Dawson, said the following earlier this morning;

"Luckily, we didn't lose any of the management. However, those 300 slaves are going to put us slightly behind. This is the fifth year of the five year push, and if our output of coal is going to beat last years, we are going to need some more slaves. We are expecting to get these slaves by finding the hidden Vanguardists that are operating out of the woods, and even in our cities. If you suspect any of your fellow citizens of being Vanguards in disguise, please report this to your local law enforcement."

 

[Europaland]

Europaland expresses its outrage and disgust at this vile system of slavery and the callous lack of regard for human life which is clear for everyone to see. The people of Europe cannot and will not tolerate the existence of such a system any longer and we call upon all civilised states to come together in drawing up a plan for bringing an end to slavery and ensuring regime change in the rogue state of Wasatch.

Saida Nasri,
Foreign Minister of Europaland