Republique Umbazi Nouvelles

[Umbazi]

GREAT PRESIDENT DIARRA PROUDLY APPOINTS GRANDSON AS NEW MINISTER FOR NATURAL GAS!

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Ministry for Natural Gas Conference

A proud day for our Great Nation, as the New Minister for Natural Gas was announced to be Kwame Diarra, the eldest Grandson of our own Magnificent President. Truly the Diarran line has produced only the worthiest of sons, as Kwame has proven himself to the satisfaction of not only our President, but the Estates General, that, despite being only twenty-three years of age, he is the right man for the arduous job.

The Ministry for Natural Gas has grown in prominence of late due to the incompetence of the Talamantrine Christian Empire in its attempted invasion of fellow Himyar nation Jurzan, causing a Global Fuel Crisis. Although our Natural Gas output has been relatively minor, in his Wisdom our Magnificent President decreed that "As it is with gold, so shall we become ever more prosperous through the burning air that the white man covets so much."

Truer words have never been spoken! We here at RUN wish Kwame Diarra the best of luck in this most formidable task, of expanding the production of Natural Gas in the troublesome Uroduah Provinces(where God has seen fit to put all the burning air) by an astonishing 30% in the next five years!

In Other News, rumours of frailty on the part of Our Magnificient President were completely quashed today, with the execution of the poisontongued snake, the master of lies, the Dr.Toure who also claimed that the Gay Plague AIDS was blighting our noble citizens! His trial was concluded three weeks ago, but it had taken this long to exhaust his pitiful last-ditch attempt to appeal to Higher Authority!

Other Headlines:
Contracts on control of Aurum Umbazi Inc. are soon to be up for sale for foreign competitors.

Islamists call for the banning of pork sausage vendors in streets, citing poor public hygiene aswell as religious considerations.

Electricity restored to Northeastern Quarter after six weeks in the dark. Neglectful technicians imprisoned for their anti-patriotic sloth.

 

[Umbazi]

ASCALON THREATENS WAR WITH JURZAN!

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Ascaloni ADA on Border with Jurzan


The Assassination of a Prominent Ascalon Minister by Unknown Islamist Terrorists has led to a state of great hostile tension between the Christian State and the Islamist Warrior-State of Jurzan. Such is their weakness that, without a Woman to guide them, they must vote on who will now lead them, with the leading candidate wishing for peace!

Had such a grave act been committed against Umbazi, those believed responsible would have felt a terrible weight of Justice pressing down on them from Heaven, and they and all their families would have been squashed!
However, Jurzan is a Friend Nation to Umbazi, being a Native Himyarite state, which, whilst largely Uroduah, nonetheless shares the blood of Himyar, and has but recently shaken the tyranny of the Akhaltsikhe half-whites from the Mountains. Akhaltsikhe was also a Close Friend of Umbazi, but in these difficult and complex times, Umbazi must look to herself, and though her former friend is suffering and threatened with War by the weakling Ascaloni, it has friends enough that Umbazi need not exert itself against a bothersome mosquito.

In the words of a wise government official, "If a Neighbour's House is on Fire, but somebody else has a bucket of water, do you get out of bed? No! Of course not." The Sultanate of Hajr, mighty warriors and brothers to Umbazi through centuries of gold, gemstones and salt-trade, has pledged to aid Jurzan in its ongoing struggle for sovereignty. To this jumble of nations, we say only, "Keep it out of our house, and we will not unleash the Wilderbeast in yours."


Other Headlines:
Aurum Umbazi bidding reaches a feverpitch. Will crazy Wiesans win, or will there be a last-minute bid from a 3rd party? -Economics

Filed Complaints about poor maintenance of roads have recently been compiled into one gigantic pile that is roughly 20 foot high. The Pile has been set alight, and the spirits implored to fix the roads. -Domestic

Rumours of Mighty Arms Shipments soon to be arriving in Umbazi! -Secrets

 

[Umbazi]

INVESTMENT IN GOLD FLOODS IN TO UMBAZI ONCE AGAIN!

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Aurum Umbazi production line

The purchase of a controlling share in Aurum Umbazi is nothing new, and is a ritual that has been preserved in Umbazi for the last 40 years, with the company passing from state hands to private hands to state hands like the ebb and flow of gold prices itself. But recently a more comprehensive sale was made of shares in the legendary Gold company, and soon hundreds of multinational businessmen eager to invest in Umbazi will be buying shares Aurum Umbazi, with the majority share held by the German Empire of Wiese.

"I think this can only be a good thing for Umbazi. Wiese is one of the few White Nations that has not got a history of exploiting Black Himyar, and has shown no interest in Imperialism, Communism or Islamism. The investment of multiple other companies also ensures there is plenty of input and nobody gets too greedy." stated the Minister for Commerce.

The purchase of Umbazi in real terms means that new jobs will almost certainly be created at the Mineheads in Koulikoro and Sikasso. A Third minehead, long abandoned, may also be re-opened in the ghost-town of Kita, allowing for prosperity to return to that corner of Umbazi once again. Truly our Glorious President's wisdom knows no bounds!

In other News, funds from the sale of Aurum Umbazi shares are to go towards "Government Works Projects" of unspecified scale and ambition. It has been confirmed however, that Jophet Diarra has been buying tractors in Kyiv, and we can only hope that this windfall will benefit all the farmers of Great Umbazi!

Other headlines:
Mudfloods in the Bafouable Province sweep away 60. Presence of Catholic Missionaries blamed. -Domestic

Situation in Jurzan worsens under weight of Talemantine Imperialist Aggression. -Foreign Affairs

Pope dead, New Pope to be chosen. Umbazi Bishop set to vote for Wiesan candidate. -Other

 

[Umbazi]

CRACKDOWN ON CRIME IN ASH SHARQI PROVINCES!

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Lieutenant General Selek Diarra surveys his troops

Responding to the arrogant allegations of the Ascaloni, Our Great President has responded with thunderbolt swiftness to the news that illegal gangs of gun and drug-smugglers have been operating in the Ash Sharqi Provinces in the Northeast of Umbazi. These quiet backwaters, famed for their goatherding, rugged terrain, and historical trade in fine honeys and beads, have become a battleground, as opportunistic and greedy Gangsters have, in terror of the Righteous fury about to descend on them, begun to murder each other, hoping perhaps to cover their own tracks with blood!

Commenting on the outbreak of violence and murder in a previously quiet area of Umbazi, Lieutenant General Selek Diarra had this to say to the National Press: "Our President takes avery dim view of evil criminals. Any who seek to trade illegally, within or across our borders, in prohibited fire-arms, drugs, or child-slaves, will be punished appropriately, as will all those who shelter such evil in their hearts and homes. If you know of Criminals near your town, report this immediately to your nearest authority figure."

Describing the use of over 20,000 army soldiers and the mobilisation of the local Millita, Selek was quick to assure us all that this is a "Police Action only" and that, whilst the treacherous Ascaloni have threatened to enforce their crazy religious justice on our citizens themselves, they will not make so bold a move when it is seen that not only are we taking this matter very seriously, but we have a strong Army to defend ourselves, no matter the threat!

Other Headlines:
Roadworks re-opening the borders with Kugela completed after nearly 10 years of frosty relations. -Domestic

Kituba FC defeats the Taoudenni Leopards 2-1 in National Leagues. -Sports

Mudfloods continue as heavy rains threaten the already poor harvest in the Bafouable Province. -Weather

 

[Umbazi]

COMMITTEE AGAINST CORRUPTION FORMED!

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Estates-General meeting calls for CAC

With violence increasing in the Ash Sharqi Provinces, the esteemed Estates-General have vowed to draft a Bill towards the creation of a Committee Against Corruption, an independent body whose mandate will be the investigation of the smuggling and criminal networks that have penetrated throughout Umbazi's heartland, and to follow the flow of money to the highest ranks if need be.

"This CAC will be the Sword of the Voice of Umbazi." announced influential speaker and Chancellor of the Treasury, Khouana Diarra. "With it, at last, Justice can be seen to be done in Umbazi. We will find and destroy the smugglers and all their accomplices, and show once and for all to those who doubt that Umbazi is a secure state."

Such noble sentiments have meant with almost unanimous approval by the Estates General, who are determined to demonstrate that the Police Action in the Ash Sharqi Province is one that will go hand in hand with civillian, executive and judicial operations to truly cleanse Umbazi of the taint of crime.

It is extremely evident, however, that without the input of Son of Our Great Father, Khouana Diarra, in a position of power, this Committee might never have happened, and the Corruption infecting Umbazi might have been ignored or worse by the Estates General without his clear and resounding call for Justice.

It remains to be seen how far this Call will be taken up, although reports from the Ash Sharqi Provinces suggest that more resistance has been encountered by the Army and Millita, and they are moving to crush utterly those who would oppose Umbazi's Will.

Other Headlines:
Umbazi rejects the SEEDF as "an ill-concieved attempt to unify Himyar's disparate economies, for uncertain capitalist purposes." -International

Jobs to be created as KIW continues its surveying and auditing of Aurum Umbazi Inc. -Domestic

Are the Borean and Europan Powers inherently racist and imperialist? Bold calls to chastise the racist imperialists come from the most racist imperialists themselves, the monkeylike Oikawans. -Other

 

[Umbazi]

EXTRADITION DEMANDED FOR UMBAZI TEENAGERS!

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President Diarra demanding extradition


The Arrogance of the Ascaloni exceeded itself with the arrest earlier yesterday of two teenagers, accused of attempting to sell Poppy to Ascaloni Border Guards. These accusations have no proof beyond the word of Army personnel who not so long ago were known as the ADA, the fanatics who wanted to occupy our territory, believing Umbazi cannot protect itself.

This arrest further confirms that the Ascalon have no respect for Umbazi sovereignty, and President Diarra has demanded the immediate extradition of the Teenagers back to Umbazi, or else he will be forced to take punitive counter-measures.

"If the teenagers are guilty, they are involved in the very trade we are seeking to exterminate within our country. They must be repatriated to us, and be subject to our Justice." stated the President in no uncertain terms.

This news comes as reports have begun to filter through that the Police Action in the Ash Sharqi Province has begun to take effect, with the execution of hundreds of criminals being carried out in the field, as per Umbazi millitary law.

With the Committee Against Corruption to meet early next week, we have been permitted to reveal the first area of investigation will be the Umbazi Republican Millita, which at 850,000 strong consists of nearly 2% of the entire population of Umbazi. Those who are innocent have been instructed not to be apprehensive, as the Committee seeks only those guilty of participating in the illicit criminal networks that sell illicit booze, drugs, guns and whores to countries like Ascalon, Hajr and beyond.

How far and how deep the criminal conspiracy reaches is unknown, but the strength of response shows once again how committed our Glorious President is to our dear country.

Other Headlines:
Archbishop of the Catholic Church in Umbazi attends Conclave. -Foreign Affairs

Umbazi Air Force conducts "surgical" strikes on suspected Poppy Fields in Taoudenni Province. -Domestic

SEEDF begins millitary conference to unify its armies "like the EDF." Imperialist models of exploitation are as such confirmed. -Editorial

 

[Danmark]

Foreign Office

Recent interceptions by the Danish coastguard of numerous attempts smuggle items such as weapons and precious stones into Danmark have revealed a clear connection to Umbazi.

We believe that the trade is being used by extremist elements to fund their aim to destabilise the country.

Accordingly, we have had to take steps to increase our naval presence on the length of the Vesthavet (or Danish Gulf).

We urge Umbazi to do more to clamp down on this trade and be more tough on the perpetrators with urgency.

 

[Sheridan]

Ministry of Foreign Affairs

We regret to inform the Umbazi media, and government, that the boys previously arrested attacked military personnel with make shift knives, one soldier was wounded, and the boys were shot.

Sincerely,
Dominic Basil

 

[Socialist Commonwealth]

Commissariate for Foreign Affairs

Due to the potential of these events to upset regional stability, we urge Ascalon to allow independent investigations into the affair. Carentania would be willing to carry out such investigations.

 

[Sheridan]

Ministry of Foreign Affairs

The military prison in which the boys were being held in may contain sensitive information. We will inquire the Defense Ministry about this and get back to you.*

*OOC: I wouldn't expect a reply... ever.

 

[Confederal Republics]

Ministry of External Affairs
Commonwealth of Cornavia

Owing to the obviously high potential of this incident increasing international discord and tensions in the Himyari region, the Commonwealth government suggests that an international specialist team empowered by the Council of Nations would be allowed to inspect the prison where the said incident took place and to investigate the incident in full.

Regards,
Mr. William Fenner,
Minister of External Affairs

 

[Sheridan]

Ministry of Defense

Unfortunately we cannot allow foreign investigators in at this time. We can assure the international community that we have already investigated this event in full, and the bodies of the three boys will be sent back to their families inside Umbazi.

 

[Umbazi]

BORDERS CLOSED IN FACE OF ASCALONI INSULTS!

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New Border Patrols are inspected

The Deadline set by the Umbazi Ministry of Foreign Affairs has passed. Having allowed the death of 3 Umbazi teenagers in their captivity, their refusal to extradite, investigate or provide reparations for the families of the boys incarcerated and killed, the President has had no choice but to close all Borders with Ascalon, and has delegated another 15,000 Umbazi Army personnel and 22,000 Republican Millita to the task.

Lieutenant General Selek Diarra, speaking from the increasingly fortified Ash Sharqi Borders, has stated that though the border is long and porous, regular mounted and motorised patrols will be conducted along its length, and construction of barbed wire fences has begun, in order to impede efforts to infiltrate or defy the law set down by Umbazi.

"The arrogance of the Ascaloni is in seeking to usurp the right of the Umbazi people to deal with its own. We are an independent nation, with independent courts and an independent legislature. We are not and never have been under the jurisdiction of Ascaloni law. Their efforts to usurp our most sovereign right to self-determination has led to the death of 3 fine young men, and it will not be allowed to persist." he further stated.

In addition to the increased Border presence, all Ascaloni citizens, aid workers and missionaries are being deported from Umbazi, and any who remain a Week from now who have not declared for Umbazi citizenship will be treated as Infiltrators and punished accordingly.

The Umbazi Catholic Church has criticised this move, claiming that Ascaloni Missionaries are sorely needed to run religious schools, maintain AIDS programmes, and provide training to Umbazi clergy. The Government has refused to respond to these criticisms, petty as they are.

Other Headlines:
Crazy Del Surians reset calendar and pretend they are cavemen. -Foreign Affairs

Envoys dispatched to Wiesan Knightly Orders by Umbazi Catholic Church. -Domestic

Arrests have begun along the Kugelan Border at the behest of the Committee Against Corruption. -Other

 

[Fulanistan]

Foreign Affairs Ministry

The punishment of the 3 Umbazi teenagers was well within Ascaloni law, and we percieve the closing of the Umbazi-Ascaloni border as well as other anti-Ascaloni acts to be done to seek revenge and intimidate the Ascaloni government. As Ascalon is a SEEDTO member, SEEDTO takes these acts very seriously, and further actions against Ascaloni people will result in actions against Umbazi from SEEDTO.

 

[Umbazi]

We are saddened at the response of fellow Himyari nation Fulanistan. We ask that they reconsider their position, considering the Teenagers were neither tried or punished under Ascaloni or Umbazi Law, but instead shot whilst allegedly trying to attack people in Prison. We have seen absolutely no evidence of any of this, and for all we know they may simply have been executed in Prison. No further escalation is planned at this time, unless Ascalon initiates it. If Fulanistan would defend such aggression, then we must regrettably withdraw our friendship from Fulanistan.

-Ministry of Foreign Affairs,
Republique la'Umbazi

 

[Papal States]

Congregation for the Clergy

The Holy See asks the President of Umbazi to reconsider his decision about the aid workers and missionaries, as they are not involved in the recent developments. Their presence in Umbazi, sometimes for years, proves their fidelity towards the prosperity of Umbazi.

The Holy See stresses that the missionaries are de facto working under jurisdiction of the Catholic Church in Umbazi, lead by Umbazi citizens, and as well are they members of the worldwide Church.

The Holy See would not forget to express its gratitude towards the president if he reconsiders the statute of our missionaries.

 

[Taley]

Secretariat of State

We stand with Umbazi and their decision to protect their citizens. The empire has approved a humanitarian aid package for Umbazi to help alleviate the burdens placed upon Umbazi society by the deportation of Ascaloni citizens.

 

[Touzen]

Imperial Ministry of War and Foreign Affairs

The Empire expresses its concerns about sentiments amongst regional actors that could potentially escalate this incident - the first and foremost goal of all parties should be to strive to avoid further negative impact on the region of Himyar. As such, the Empire will be willing to offer assistance to the Umbazi government - where requested - to fill the vacuum that has been created as of late. At the same time we urge all involved parties to show restrain and respect for the national self-determination and integrity of all other involved parties.

 

[Fulanistan]

Foreign Affairs Ministry

Upon further inquiry, The previous statement made by the Foreign Affairs Ministry has been redacted until further investigation is completed to ensure our opinion on the topic is factual and justified.

 

[Frescania]

Foreign Ministry

We call on all sides to take any disagreements into a forum where these issues can be solved diplomatically. The last thing Himyar needs is another war. Frescania will be more than happy to provide a forum for such talks. We also ditto the calls by the Oikawan government regarding national self-determination and integrity.