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The Daily Gospel:
The Word of The Faithful
International Evening Edition*
The Word of The Faithful
International Evening Edition*
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Headlines!
- The Lead Story: Cardinal Adrian Verga to Assume The Papacy, As Urban III Retires in Disgrace
- The Office of The Inquisition has promised a full throated investigation into the moral practices that may have led to Urban III’s fall from moral sanctity. “Obviously, we are extremely disturbed that the leader of this nation can become addicted to pornography.” The owner of the site that Urban III was caught exploring, Wangyou.com has since been shut down and its operators arrested. Criminal charges are expected
- Citizens of Solaren praised the Grand Spiritual Council for its quick decision in naming former cardinal, Adrian Verga to the papacy in a swift and decisive manner. “I think it shows that the institution of our church, our faith is greater than any man or woman,” Said one resident of Torrence.
Torrence | The Sacred Kingdom of Solaren:
The short, but faith shaking nightmare is over as the Grand Spiritual Council announced a successor to the scandal tarred Urban III. Cardinal Adrian Verga, Head of The Inquisitorial Service was quickly selected for his immense popularity, and in recognition of the strength of his integrity bound in his devotion to The Almighty. The previous Pope was promptly arrested by agents of the Inquisition after it was discovered he had become addicted to the pornographic website “Wangyou.”
Within the days the Spiritual Council convened and its members were devoid of hesitation, selecting Cardinal Verga as the successor. Immediately, jubilant celebrations broke out all over the Sacred Kingdom. Cardinal Verga issued a brief statement to the populace before journeying to the Papal Retreat where he will begin preparations to assume the papacy. Our future spiritual father said,
“The strands of our faith have been torn apart by the ruthless disregard one man had for his God. He tarnished the beloved lineage of Holy Fathers who assumed the Urban mantle. For that reason it is my mission over the coming months to restore not just our hopes, and concrete devotion to our Church but, to restore honor and integrity to the Urban name. I will be assuming the name of Urban and I will erase from our burned memories, all that the lustful sinner wrought on our souls. You have my word, my solemn promise. May the Almighty continue to bless us all!”
The Church Office For Foreign Interaction is expected to reach out to foreign heads of states to invite them to partake in the Accession Ceremony. Naturally heretics, sinners, Islamic-whores, and the likes will be kept uninvited and outside the boundaries of the Sacred Kingdom. Many remember the attempt several decades ago by a Muslim dignitary to enter the country, forcing an entire city to be quarantined for a year. The military has promised such a scenario will not again unfold.