APwire ~ Affiliated Press News Agency

[Danmark]

Clean bottoms all round as Danes make bidets compulsory
AP Elsinore


The Danish Folkehuset has voted to introduce the controversial 'Bidet Bill' into law making it compulsory that all new and existing homes and premises install bidets within the next decade with those on low incomes eligible for a grant to cover the cost. The law will also mean the gradual phasing out of lavatory paper throughout the country as part of concerted environmental agenda to use less paper and also as part of a public hygiene initiative.

The bill was surrounded in controversy since it was first mooted, with rival camps pitched in a public relations battle involving a proliferation of TV, radio, and internet advertisements and petitions. It also became a favourite topic of conversation on day-time chat shows and amongst comedians, and many seem split on whether the country is a laughing stock or blazing a trail.

Opponents say the bill is 'political correctness gone mad' and that it's 'fascist'. They say installing bidets should be left to individuals to decide, not the state; that they're too expensive; and that they take up too much space. Mrs Dummere, a housewife from Yngby, was incredulous. "This house hardly has any room to swing a cat, never mind shove a bidet in it! Plus, I haven't the time to sit there all day washing my backside, I've got things to do. It'll be of no use to me whatever, it's just like an extra lavatory. I might just use it to wash my socks in or put a house plant in it".

However, supporters of the law have welcomed it as a sign of civilised progress.

Jan Kristofferson, a public hygiene specialist, said "We spend millions every year clearing out blockages after people have used too much lavatory paper, our sewerage system can't cope with the onslaught. On top of that, using tissue paper is hardly '21st century' now is it? The advent of the bidet is a sign of modernity and civility, and is an apt replacement for the inferior tissue paper and it's inability to provide decent hygiene."

Although the bill provides for enforcement with special officers on the nicknamed 'bidet beat', supporters have voiced concerns of the difficulty of enforcing the law, and fears of a black market in lavatory paper with criminals smuggling it in from abroad and charging extortionate prices.

 

[Cidonia]

Cidonian Genocide
AP New Cidia

The Cidonian News Network is quieter than usual these days, mostly reporting about benign topics of mild interest and the countries current foreign policy extends itself only to the nearby nation of Talemantros, a supporter of current Supreme Leader Viktor Nazar in the bloody revolution a few months ago. As such, international interest of Cidonian internal or foreign politics are limited as the nation is currently rebuilding itself after decades of mismanagement and corruption.

Viktor Nazar, a militaristic hardliner, is supported without the shadow of a doubt by the entire country and this is not an exaggeration. But these includes only the citizens of the dictatorship of Cidonia, as there are many displaced people in Cidonia that are not accounted for as citizens and lead lives as slaves of Cidonian citizens and are prone to being outcast if they do not become a Cidonian slave.

As such many of these non-citizens, mostly from nomadic tribes or simply tribes within the Cidonian forests, hide out in the lands of their forefathers. This worked up until the reign of Viktor Nazar. "They come to our villages and round up all the men and women and take them away. The children are shot on the spot and those who resist are killed as well." says one of the tribal leaders from a village 500km north of New Cidia. "It is genocide."

Along the coast all the tribal villages have been dispersed in an effort to improve the regional infrastructure, economy as well as promote sea trade. As such there are thousands, perhaps even millions, of dispersed tribes wandering to the north into death traps. Promises of humanitarian aid from "kind Cidonian citizens" turn out to be traps as well as the people who go to the shelters for food and a place to rest are captured and sent to the cities to work as slaves.

"We need help from outside, another country has to get us out of this hell or all the tribes will die out. We can not be forgotten."

Trudy Ila, associated Press.

 

[Cakchiquel]

Imperial Army launches fresh "white terror" in light of Europalander violence against Danizgers
AP, Mayapan

The recent "terrorist" incident in Europa City which resulted in the lost of Danziger property and life set ripples through the vehemently anti-Communist military regime in Cakchiquel which was on the fourth of its five year term of self proclaimed office. A large percentage of military officials, a majority of the entire office class since the launch of the violence abroad weeks ago have been subjected to inquiry under the Consulate of State Security and the newly formed Consulate of Mayan Revolutionary Solidarity Security. Communist opposition showed its vitality as a form of philosophical expression in the oppositional democratic movement within protest ensignia and democratic opposition activism. Activists have been pushed into a new scale of activity with the formal end of political jurisprudential procedures following the end of the state of emergency.

Activists hope to engage the Military-Imperial state in forming a representative democracy. Official prohibitions against the Communist Party of Cakchiquel worry outsiders as anti-democratic in nature. Even more unsettling for international academics, is the support of violence within far-right circles for a government backed crackdown on Caucasian-Cakchiquelians with capital, Communists, Women and Gay rights leaders and other activists of suspect "anti-revolutionary" orientation in a post-Justicialist revolutionary Cakchiquel. A former Consul of the Consulative Assembly for the riding of the formerly independent white ruled Gengage Consulative Office, a member of the provisional Liberal Party of Cakchiquel was arrested on terms of "international espionage" under dubiously "secret" evidence by the Consulate of State Security. As the Justicialist regime in Cakchiquel attempts to formulate the dressings of democracy, two seperate powerful rebellions continue to administer territory within the commonwealth territory.

As if emblematic of the distraught nature of democratization in Cakchiquel, the violence against the Europalander embassy ended up with a net loss to vandalism of three million EuroMarks. The cost led to the Socialist Justice Party of Cakchiquel's former lead Consul in the Consultative Assembly from Mayapan, Nama Teatree and current SJP candidate for CA and PM noted that "the revolution needs to now save the people from it's own limits". A substantial amount of capital has been invested this year on law enforcement and community safety, by state agents and by individual actors. Cakchiquel's National Armoury has maintained a record year profit in the face of a continued political instability, which threatens Cakchiquels investment opportunities.

Spearthrowing Owl hopes to maintain his position as the only royal member in the Consulative Assembly as a point to consolidate political authority within the Assembly for his new Conservative 'Justicialist' National Mayan Justice Congress. The party many Mayans worry, is named to be a seemingly apt party of "government". The traditional party of government as per historical record, the Mayan National Congress is in disarray, and the Emperor himself proclaimed that he would not allow a party formerly a social democratic mainstay of patronage corruption to compete in the democratic process. Perhaps the Emperor wants to repaint the picture of a nation run by rigid capital authority. Or perhaps the strain of corruption within the process of a command economy is undoing the image of the monarchy itself.

 

[Cakchiquel]

Two Opposition Prime Ministerial Candidates Contend Imperial Financing of NMJC Party undermines Monarchy

AP, Mayapan

The decision by the military junta which claimed power in the self described "Justicialist" incident to move to return to popularly elected authority throughout the empire has been held by international investors with a sigh of relief. The democratic consolidation of authority under the provisional banner of Imperial stewardship has failed to cement political buy-in among the masses of the empire. The Emperor and his retinue have failed to undertake a substantial anti-corruption campaign within the civil service. All press media for domestic consumption is by law only sanctioned by right of Empire. Substantial policy patterns within Mayan society allow for a command system which complicates the development of power relationships within the Mayan state. Prior to the "Justicialist" incident, the Imperial policy on domestic media saw a wide variety of media policies between individual Consulative ridings within the Consulative Assembly.

"Doctor Nama Teatree, what is the issue with the NMJC?"
"The issue lays within the capital investment of political agency, in that the NMJC is run by the same generals leading us at war."
"Why can't the same people who arm our soldiers lead our nation?"
"Those who can lead conflict can never construct a nation compared to those who cater to the wishes of the people."

"Doctor Mack Foxriver, how is the NMJC a non-Liberal political option?"
"The NMJC is not a pluralistic political party. It does not value political freedoms"
"Why does the Liberal Party of Cakchiquel content that the NMJC cannot provide electoral leadership?"
"The development of the NMJC is not alligned with the values of the throne or the Mayan peoples."

The military centered "Justicialist" movement wants to solidify its control over social political decisions with the symbolic conquest of open competitive elections. Canassatego and the Imperium however will not see their party, the NMJC, run without using the entire capital authority of the Imperium utilized to manage the democratic experience in Cakchiquel to the benefit of the "Mayan" or "Imperial" peoples. The Free People Liberation Army of Cakchiquel and the Free Democratic Army of Cakchiquel have both entered into negotiations with the Imperial system while refusing overtures to a direct non-conditional surrender in light of democratization. The Liberal Party and the Socialist Justice Party both draw on their desire for an immediate political solution with the crisis of internal conflict. These opposition parties both along with the Mayan National Congressional Jurisprudential League pressure the NMCJ to provide a working model of political agency to the masses of Cakchiquel. NMCJ social products, social services now compete with SJP, JPC and MNCJL alternatives to innoculate not only the masses in a time of civil war with health but also with ideology. The sheer weight of iron and steel are now at the electoral disposal for the NMCJ's political ambitions to act as a referendum of acceptance for the Imperial Canassatego's Justicialist radical nationalist revolution.

 

[Cakchiquel]

Bomb Explodes outside Chichen Itza Liberal Party of Cakchiquel headquarters
AP, Chichen Itza

An evening of political calm throughout Cakchiquel, following a full day of political tension and anti-government sentiment being presented in state media portrayals in public media brought heart to opposition parties throughout Cakchiquel. The spirit of the crackdown was indeed true to Imperial edict, gone as the Liberal Party and the Socialist Justice and MNCJL activists engaged in what merited the solitary political gem for the nightly news in Cakchiquel "Degenerate party fiends". Outside the Belmontian embassy in Chichen Itza the sound of music however is clearly evident, as certain well to do urban population members celebrate an attempt by the military to allow a degree of free democratic government.

"We condemn this assassination of a proud Liberal, and his martyrdom only gives unity to the cause of the Liberal Party of Cakchiquel. The Liberal Party categorically condemns violence, the party categorically finds the Legion criminally negligent in this instance."
-Dr. Bernard Sandlion upon hearing of the incident in downtown Chichen Itza this early morning

The violence in Chichen Itza omniously occurred against a clear agent of resistance to military rule. A former CA for the Liberal Party prior to the coup, Jaoral Nightlittlewest was running on a campaign of ending the Chichen Itza Urban Legion and reinstating the pre-coup Chichen Itza Police Department. Jaoral had maintained a party rally in the face of a mere dozen far right counter-protestors of off duty members of the Legion, calling Jaoral a Liberal and thus a Homosexual, according to a large centrally placed placard within the counter-protest. A car bomb was detonated as Jaoral rentered the cities Liberal Party headquarters, his subordinate Dr. Bernard Sandlion has been named the candidate. The Liberal Party of Cakchiquel's spokesman could not be reached for comment. The widow of the late Jaoral Nightlittlewest is now described in underground tabloids as a vehement opponent of a "fascist regime" and calls for the people of Chichen Itza to revenge her martyred husband in the form of "Free Democratic Armed Action". The Consulate of Security and Law Enforcement within Chichen Itza has described the widow as the key terrorist suspect. The entire government denied the claims of the widow. Chichen Itza is far away from the location of rebellion forces in the hinterland of the country.

 

[Cakchiquel]

Foxriver and Sandlion to Campaign for Peace against community backlash over Nightlittlewest Assassination
AP, Chichen Itza

Low level social hooliganism in the cities nightlife district, located next to the sports arenas lead to a lock-down of the city center after less than half a dozen armed youths firebombed and destroyed a Legion recruiting office wearing Democratic Army regalia. The Consulate of Security and Law Enforcement within Chichen Itza organized the investigation as a form of "blatant vagrant vandalism". By 5 am, a few hours prior to sunrise security forces had cleared the entire night district of Cakchquel's second city. The conflict while moderate highlighted the simmering tensions within the Empire struggling with social-military conflict.

The Liberal Party has been active in organizing defense groups in Chichen Itzan communities in the face of such random violence. "Attacking shops for being up-scale is quite counterproductive and anti-Liberal" explained Dr. Mack Foxriver. "Violence is counter-intuitive to the Liberal ideal, but self defense is another paradigm we cannot forgo." finishing "We shall end their injustice with our peace". Dr. Bernard Sandlion the Liberal candidate for mayor and Dr. Foxriver plan to help give last rites to Jaoral Nightlittlewest who Sandlion told AP reporters was a "Pacifist dedicated to Social Republicanism" who attacked Socialist Justice Party supporters who quoted Nama Teatree as quoting Mr. Nightlittlewest as a SJP member as an "Idea without grain to construct a hoax by.".

The Liberal Party will administer the funeral under Imperial theocratic supervision in Chichen Itza under stewardship of Nightlittlewest's eldest son. Nightlittlewest's wife has still been missing in opposition to the Monarchist government and no rebellious media has implicated her by person. The Nightlittlewest family maintains a family system of landlord-holdings and comfort-food restaurants in Chichen Itza proper. The Imperial Government has decreed (secretly only in the Consul of Media) that no more than 1 minute of 1 hour of broadcasting can discuss the assassination.

 

[Europaland]

I deplore the failure of the Cakchiquel authorities to protect our embassy from attack and have decided, in consultation with the cabinet, to withdraw our ambassador and all of our embassy staff at once. This incident, along with the violent attacks on opposition parties, leads us to believe that the situation is deteriorating fast and that it is no longer safe to maintain a presence in the country. We hold the government solely responsible for the direction in which their country is moving and believe that only true and genuine democracy can bring the peace, freedom and prosperity which most people so clearly desire.

Saida Nasri,
Foreign Minister of Europaland

 

[Cidonia]

Cidonian Military Operation "Tense Sunrise" starts bloody - 2 Kyvian Journalists killed
AP New Cidia

Due to tribal warfare in Cidonia, the Cidonian government has begun cracking down on the violent tribes that have begun fighting in the north of Cidonia. An estimated 1500 tribes, mostly nomadic, dwell in the northern regions of the country of Cidonia and have begun or are continuing bloody feuds over trivial quarrels, such as a stolen goat.

The Cidonian government has decided to simply fight fire with fire and has deployed 50,000 troops to the north and have begun systematically eradicating any resistance. The first conflict of the operation left 2 Kyvian journalists dead, Milana Syuzanna, Talemantran born but studied in Kyiv and began working as a journalist there for 4 years, she was 27. The camera man Reyes Darko, from Kyiv was shot in the chest from a tribal sniper and died in the arms of a Cidonian medic. He leaves a wife and 2 children, he was 39.

In the first operation 23 tribal men were killed, 42 injured and 15 captured. 12 Cidonian soldiers were wounded and 1 was MIA but showed up earlier today. The operation "Tense Sunrise" is still underway and is continually moving north.

Trudy Ila, associated Press.

 

[Europaland]

The reports of genocide in Cidonia have been met with great alarm in Europaland. If true we condemn this in the strongest terms possible and demand an immediate end to the government's reign of terror. In the meantime we shall, in the lack of any coordinated international response, offer asylum to all those suffering persecution and request that the Cidonian state allows their free passage to Europaland. We request likewise that other countries situated closer to Cidonia shall do the same.

Saida Nasri,
Foreign Minister of Europaland

 

[Havenshire]

Domestic Unrest curtailed by General Mobilisations

AP Westhaven

Rumours of Unrest about unacknowledged high unemployment rates in the Council-Communist State of Havenshire have generally faded everywhere but the Internet, as ongoing mobilisations in the People's Republic see more of the youth being called up to participate in what are being called "precautionary drills." Although the General Mobilisation has been acknowledged by Havenshire, the blatant pretext for this move- to distract from continuing systemic economic problems- has failed to attract much notice.

"Havenshire was rocky enough as an emerging consumer-led economy in 2001." stated prominent critics. "The years since, the Council-Communist Regime has sought time and time again to retrench into a centralised, heavy industry-led economy which relies solely on RDTO-signatory states for all external economic activity. This has greatly weakened its emergent retail sector, to the extent that most recently they officially dissolved Union support for retail sector employment. It is no coincidence, therefore, that these workers should be the first to be mobilised into Citizen's Defence Reserve batallions. However, this mobilisation cannot do more than temporarily distract from ongoing economic weakness, and urgent reforms are needed if the regime is to avoid sliding into an even deeper recession."

With Naval patrols stepping up in the Long Sea, many wonder if the isolationist regime might be contemplating active millitary intervention in the ongoing Solaren conflict, possibly to aid its Carentanian allies, and possibly to remove a potentially troubleseome element from its society, by placing them in harm's way in foreign lands.

Whatever the truth may be, this island nation cannot weather its storms alone for much longer.

 

[Cakchiquel]

Under Consul of Foreign Affairs and Diplomacy Havenshire, Yhlaaji Simmonplanet in Westhaven

We categorically urge the people of Havenshire, to maintain a spirit of skepticism towards press-gang collectivism. Barracks bunker socialism is a failed model to govern the social lives of the people of Havenshire. We urge the people of Havenshire to continue to reject collectivist tendencies enforced by the jackbooted absolutists of Havenshire. Considering the massive political pollution, a completely deranged absolutist tyranny pushes the island of Havenshire into a state of events leading to near economic extinction on the global marketplace. To further the cause of Westhaven and Havenshire, a political change in regime is necessary for the well-being of the island itself.

 

[Cakchiquel]

International Blue Cross banned for operating within Cakchiquel
AP, Mayapan

In the face of political crisis, the Imperial regime has continued the old obstructionist Justicialist line in accordance with foreign affairs. Categorical lack of interest marks the meager attempts the law enforcement has put into investigating the violent attack by football hooligans upon the Europalander embassy. As opposed to fielding a conflict against Xenophobia, the Imperium ended diplomatic ties with the nation quietly and in open conflict. The still provisional Justicialist governing council operated another directive upon the Imperium showing the concern of the status-quo to maintain a control over political-economy.

An emergency law has been passed by the Consulate of Security which prohibits all international investment in Cakchiquelian NGO's and prohibits such NGOs from operating within Cakchiquel. Thaac Mahool, the former head of the Blue Circle in Cakchiquel is now in jail, his property seized by the consulate on account of being a bed of anti-state activism. Dr. Mack Foxriver, on National Revolutionary Radio, a formal government installation, argued that the seizure of Blue Cross property in Cakchiquel was "Criminal Socialism". Dr. Foxriver was warned by the Consulate of Media that such hyperbolic political tactics were unbecoming of a state undergoing democratization.

Nama Teatree told National Labor News that the new emergency law "Is a form of electoral class warfare" as it "undermines international unity". The Liberal Party and the Socialist Justice Party and the Mayan National Congresses all refused to protest the bill, finding it an unfortunate after the fact enshrinement of standing Imperial policy within the kingdom. Opposition parties continue to focus on logistical institutionalization throughout the civil society of Cakchiquel. "Only when we operate as a state institution in all districts, can the Liberal Party bring a negotiated peace settlement to the inter-regional violence". Nama Teatree and Dr. Foxriver are scheduled to appear on a government offered public media venue spot on National Revolutionary Radio tomorrow to again describe the failings of the monarchy. Monarchists continue to propagate an image of a crown battling entrenched corruption and capital tyranny throughout the planet in the continued presence of Democratic Anti-Monarchist sentiment in Cakchiquel.

 

[Cidonia]

Kyivan Journalist Autopsies released and prepared for repatriation
AP New Cidia

Cidonian Supreme Leader General Viktor Nazar declared the first fallen soldier, Nabil Rahim, a war hero as he became the first soldier in Cidonia to fall to the opposing tribal warriors in the north of Cidonia. He was officially posthumously awarded the Hero Star. The Supreme Leader said that "All those who oppose the Cidonian nation in it's efforts to rebuild our nation to glory will be punished accordingly. We will not be idle." afterwards a military parade was held in the honour of Private Nabil Rahim.

Meanwhile, as one Cidonian soldier dies, the autopsies of the deceased Kyvan citizen, Talemantrine born journalist Milana H. Syuzanna and Kyvan camera man Reyes I. Darko were released upon request of the Home Security minister.

Milana H. Syuzanna was hit by a bullet in the trachea that went directly through and exited on the other side on it's trajectory path it hit her spine and split the cervical division of her spine in half killing her instantly.

Camera man Reyes I. Darko was hit in his right calf hitting the iliac artery leading to heavy blood loss and subsequent death on arrival at the provisional military hospital behind the frontline.*

The Cidonian military gave their condolences to the families of the victims and each family has received 500.000 Cids. The bodies of the deceased meanwhile wait in the New Cidian University Hospital for transport to their respective countries Talemantros and Kyiv.

Tribal bloodshed continues

During all this, despite Cidonian claims of lower body count numbers, a total of approximately 3,000 tribal men, women and even children have been found dead in the remains of tribal villages scattered around the north.

The heavy resistance in the north east frontlines of Operation "Tense Sunrise" are due to collective efforts of non-warring tribes to thwart the Cidonian advance, but to no avail.

Survivors of the current operation who have been questioned by AP in the north on their route towards Hajr and Matanzas have stated that, contrary to CNN reports, no prisoners are taken.

Trudy Ila, associated Press.

*AP would like to note that this autopsy conflicts with the previous report that Mr. Darko had been "shot in the chest and died in the arms of a Cidonian medic". After the release of this autopsy, of which AP has a copy, we can confirm this source to be valid. Thank you for your patience.

 

[Polesia]

Vangalan Youth Leader defends Europalandian Foreign Minister and Embassy Raid
AP International

Subrato Praminik, Chairman of both the Romesh Nabi Young Communist Organisation and Jadugopal Basu Revolutionary Students Association, the two youth wings of the Vangalan Communist Party, has publicly defended the controversial comments of Europalandian Foreign Minister Saida Nasri and the raid on the Danziger Embassy in Europa City by far-left activists in an interview with People's Power, the official newspaper of the Communist youth groups. Foreign Minister Nasri's description of a capitalist "hypocritical, bloodsucking elite" was widely criticised, with some suggesting it had anti-semitic undertones. The occupation of Danzig's Embassy after a Danziger newspaper revealed the Embassy was a centre of illegal trade in alcohol, pornography and tobacco by radical protesters was also condemned by the international community.

In the interview, Praminik suggests Nasri was demonised because of her race, claiming her Urodoah background was the sole reason for the allegations of anti-Semitism and accused white people of having an instinctive fear of non-whites. He dismissed calls for her to resign and described her as a potential role model for young women. He also congratulated those who participated in the Embassy raid, describing them as "true revolutionaries".

Both the Romesh Nabi Young Communist Organisation and Jadugopal Basu Revolutionary Students Association have frequently been involved in attacks on foreign embassies during Communist Party rallies, which some say have the tacit approval of the Communist Party's senior leaders. Subrato Praminik is also infamous for his inflammatory comments, which have often brought him into conflict with the more moderate leadership.

However, Europaland's divisive Freedom Fund, which was decried by Touzen as a 'terror fund', was ignored in the interview. Vangalan politics experts suspect the issue of providing money and supplies to armed groups is too sensitive for a senior Communist Party member to discuss, with the People's Republic of Vangala having been repeatedly accused of aiding left-wing insurgents groups operating in the Toyou-Oceania region.

 

[Europaland]

I thank Mr Praminik for his support. While I will reserve judgement on the motivations of those who attacked and condemned my comments I do feel some of the reactions were disproportionate relative to what I had said. Thankfully I have received a great deal of support from people inside Europaland and am proud to live in a country where we do not rush to demonise individuals for the most trivial of reasons.

Saida Nasri,
Foreign Minister of Europaland

 

[Cidonia]

Cidonian-Hajr and Cidonian-Matanza border flooded with refugees
AP New Cidia

As the Operation Tense Sunrise continued in Cidonia, hundreds of thousands of tribal people are flocking to the north to escape reprimands from the Cidonian government. The border is swamped at official border crossing areas and has been closed off for the time being to not swamp Hajr or Matanza with the large amount of refugees.

Cidonian border control is non-existant for the time being as the fear of anti-Cidonian sentiments would boil over should there be Cidonian personell controlling the border, as such only Hajr or Matanza controls are functioning.

"There is only dirty water, almost no food and every day thousands more come to the official areas. Many are just trying to escape to Hajr." said one man outside of his makeshift tent near the border, meanwhile in the background a group of men are being sent back to camp by Hajr military personell.

The situatio becomes worse and worse by the hour as approximately 80,000 refugees have already found their way to the Hajr border, whereas in Matanza it is approximately 50,000 and both are rising, quickly.

Trudy Ila, associated Press.

 

[Gouveia]

Gouveian drug-runners sneaking more narcotics across international waters.
AP Gouveia

Many coastal nations have traced an increase in illegal narcotics coming through their docks and shores. Several of these countries have confirmed them as Gouveian cocaine cartel smugglers. The Gouveian government and El Presidente himself denounces the actions of these people, and promises many convicted trading ships to be given a search warrant.

Still, with the promise of these reforms and searches, many do not believe the Gouveian government will carry through with it's promise. It has had a history of promising to rid of the cocaine cartel and never getting around to organizing it. A problem always happens that hinders the government to do this. The military/police funding will not allow an operation to carry out, the military will deem a large sweep for cartel to be dangerous to civilians and the environment, and many other excuses that have been used.

There are many rumors as to why the Gouveian government has yet to track these criminals, none of them confirmed however. It is to be noted that the military and police forces aren't up-to-date strategically and that the Gouveian islands are comprised of dense jungle that can easily hide a large complex.

The cocaine smugglers continue to be a problem for the rest of the world, but not for the Gouveians, it seems.

 

[Danmark]

Ocean liners, boats commissioned to evacuate Montelimar refugees
AP Danmark

The Danish government has given the go ahead for two huge ocean liners to be used to rescue refugees from war-stricken Montelimar to safe-havens in Danmark and Eiffelland as desperate efforts gather pace to speed up the evacuation as Engellex forces plod on south and crush Montelimar.

The two liners KSS Dronning Bertha and KSS Nord Stjerne, normally packaged with happy holiday makers en voyage to sunny climes, will dock in Fontaine-Harcourt, southern Montelimar, and take on-board 8,500 each per voyage and take them to the ports of Samsø in Damark, and Bremen and Emden in Eiffelland. The public have also offered to help out too following a national campaign organised by the press and charities with an impressive flotilla of of little ships, boats, speed boats, coal barges, hovercraft and catarmaran, all expected to descend on Fontaine and "do their bit" in the national effort to move citizens from the conflict zone. A public charity appeal has raised $23 million so far.

Edvard Lansing, a project organiser, praised the generosity of the public and the resolve of the governments.

"The people have shown that they have their hearts in the right place and even those with barely money to spare have willingly donated to help the plight of our stricken neighbours. The kindness of the Danish people has been astounding and it just goes to show how compassion for those less fortunate runs through us like a golden thread. As the lights are smashed out in Montelimar, we have stood as a shining beacon for humanity for all of Europe to see".

There has been an increasingly heated debate in the political classes in the newly renamed Danish capital of Christiansborg as the two main parties battle for attention and public approval. The government engages in careful, pragmatic diplomacy over Montelimar with all the hallmarks of grand statecraft; whereas the opposition has not beat about the bush in wanting direct and immediate military intervention to curb the tide of refugees.

As one opposition politician said "We're having half the Montelimarian population dumped on us though we didn't ask for it. But what else were we supposed to do? Watch whilst our neighbours got crushed by a serpent? What they're doing is tantamount to ethnic cleansing. Engellex is a negligent power that is wholly callous - they haven't even offered to pay us or to ease our burden -that's how much they think of their neighbours. They don't give a damn".

 

[Europaland]

We commend Danmark for its efforts to provide refuge to those Montelimari refugees fleeing the murderous, imperialist forces of Engellex. Europaland is prepared to ease the strain placed on Danmark by ourselves accepting many thousands of refugees wishing to live in our nation. We expect most will want to settle in the French-speaking parts of the country and will consequently organise transport to Saint-Denis on the eastern coast of French-speaking Europaland from where their settlement (temporary or permanent) in our nation can be coordinated.

Saida Nasri,
Foreign Minister of Europaland

 

[Danmark]

Udenrigsministeriet af Kongeriket Danmark

We are pleased at the overture from Europaland and look forward to setting in place practical arrangements between us to facilitate the safe passage of Montelimarian refugees to new homes in Europaland.