News from Crotobaltislavonia

[Crotobaltislavonia]

Nightline Edition
Mass Funeral To Be Held In Banja Luka
Authorities have announced a mass funeral will held for the victims of the Flight 40 grenade attack on Friday. At a press conference earlier today, a spokesperson for the State Political Administration said the SPA is simply unable to identify specific remains and that the Dear Leader himself decided a mass grave would be appropriate. In a meeting with the Dear Leader after the press conference, the victims' families voiced their opposition to their murdered loved ones being buried with the terrorists responsible for the attack.

Round-up Continues
In related news, a source within the State Political Administration has revealed ten more arrests in connection to the Flight 40 attack. The source said authorities believe they have neutralized the entire cell that perpetrated the attack but are continuing to search for connected cells. The source refused to identify the terrorists under arrest, saying only that the cell included both Slavonians and Yiddish men and women.

Other Headlines
Christmas Coup Trials Conclude; Judges Enter Deliberations
Experts: Blud Glut Starting To Soften, Street Price Rising
Toilet Paper Shortage Hits Petrovo

 

[Kadikistani Union]

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Office of the People's Commissariat for External Affairs
People's Federal Socialist Republics of

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​

Our hearts and minds go out to our brothers and sisters in the Free Cantons of Crotobaltislavonia, the innocent victims of reactionary terrorism. There is little doubt of a link between these vile and ruthless attacks and remnants of the Radek putch and subsequent insurgency. That is why a firm and strong continuation of the anti-reactionary action is not only needed, but essential for the people's revolution in Crotobaltislavonia to succeed. As always we offer our full material and logistic support for these endeavours whenever our Slavonian friends ask for it.

On another note we are glad to inform that the Zarkazeni State Tissue Paper Manufacuring has made 600 tons of recycled toilet paper available for distribution in Petrovo. Let it be known that we will not stand by idly as our comrades are in need of basic necessities. First shipment is expected to arrive within the next two days through the Banja Luka International Airport.

Signed,
Petar Kujundzic
People's Commissar for External Affairs
People's Federal Socialist Republics of

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[Crotobaltislavonia]

Nightline Edition
Kadikistani Base Nears Completion
The Defense Ministry announced today that the military base codenamed "H-3" has been stood up and is fully-operational. The base hosts all necessary materials to equip an entire Kadikistani mechanized infantry division and provide for the unit for twenty-eight days. It is manned by unarmed Kadikistani maintenance men and women. The base's airfield is not yet complete. In a war scenario with Trivodnia, Kadikistani personnel will have to fly into Banja Luka and then travel overland to mate up with their weapons. The Defense Ministry spokeswoman said, "President Farrago ordered laborers be conscripted to work day and night until the airfield is ready for our allies."

Deliberations Drag On
After almost three weeks, the Supreme Court has still not rendered a verdict on the guilt of the Christmas Coup plotters. Outside the high court, Banja Luka police and plainclothed SPA agents were forced to break up a clash between civil rights protesters and supporters of President Farrago as the agonizing wait continued. No arrests were made. But several molotov cocktails, hand grenades, and pistols were left behind by unknown parties.

Other Headlines
Economic Indicators Tick Up; Dear Leader Declares M-L Reforms Successful
Border Guards Reforms To Begin Soon
Blud Usage Declines As Addicts Rounded Up For Compulsory Treatment

 

[Polesia]

Office of the President of the Free State of Trivodnia

The Free State seeks urgent clarification on the nature and purpose of the military base announced by Crotobaltislavonia, not least because Crotobaltislavonian media have referenced it in a scenario of war with Trivodnia.

It was our understanding that Kadikistani military forces would be leaving Crotobaltislavonia once counter insurgency operations are completed. If Kadikistan is to have a permanent armed presence in the country so blatantly aimed at threatening Trivodnia then that is a serious cause for concern and risks plunging the region into crisis once more.

 

[Rheinbund]

Aussenministerium
Trier, Eiffelland

Even if this base is not manned, also we consider it quite a challenge towards the fragile peace in Gallogermania. We urge the governments of Crotobaltislavonia and Kadikistan to reconsider this base.

Rudolph Kögler, Minister for Foreign Affairs and Vice-Chancellor

 

[Kadikistani Union]

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Office of the People's Commissariat for External Affairs
People's Federal Socialist Republics of

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​

Once again the hypocrisy of Trier and its puppets is astounding. May we remind our colleagues in Trier and Amstov that Bourgogne has similar facilities in Trivodnia aimed against the Kadikistani Union. Furthermore we wish to remind that it was Amstov that played a major role in the unsuccessful military coup by Radek's gang, destabilizing Crotobaltislavonia in an attempt to overthrow the legitimate government under the popular Farrago Administration. The Kadikistani Union has restored the Status Quo in Germania by preventing Crotobalitslavonia from falling into the claws of the Trier Concordat and thus tipping the balance in favour of the capitalist axis. Unlike what western media and several anti-socialist regimes claimed the Kadikistani Union has begun gradually withdrawing the 78th Mechanized Infantry Division from Crotobaltislavonia. This in itself should be greeted with applause as we are all aware that our presence in Crotobaltislavonia could have just as easily been maintained. Rather than keeping 20,000 troops in Banja Luka the Kadikistani Union has shown its goodwill and commitment to the Gallo-Germanian Status Quo by withdrawing them after we have helped our Slavonian friends stand back on their feet with minimal domestic threats. Trivodnian accusations against our unmanned base, safe for maintenance, logistics personnel and a modest security detachment, are not received well. From Trier we expected more courtesy considering our handlings and we urge the Eiffellandian government not to let the hawks on their side cloud their judgement.

Signed,
Petar Kujundzic
People's Commissar for External Affairs
People's Federal Socialist Republics of

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[Polesia]

Office of the President of the Free State of Trivodnia

The aggressive overreaction from Kadikistan in response to our simple request for more information on the base has only given us further reason to be suspicious of its genuine intent.

Contrary to Ivar's claims, there are no Burgundian military bases in Trivodnia, only a few advisors and training staff.

 

[Crotobaltislavonia]

Afternoon Headlines
H-3 Airfield Ready; Will The Dear Leader Invite Kadikistani Bombers
SPA Commandos Storm Banja Luka Jail; Guards Stand Aside As Christmas Plotters Executed In Bloodbath
Border Guard Reforms Continue; Illegal Crossings Down Again Last Month
Spring Has Arrived, But For How Long; Temps To Bottom Out This Weekend

 

[Polesia]

Ministry of External Affairs

Having been initially informed that Kadikistani military presence in Crotobaltislavonia would be limited to non-combat personnel, news that the so-called Dear Leader Raoul Farrago may in fact request Kadikistani bomber aircraft - undeniably offensive assets - be stationed in the country comes as deeply worrying information. With central Gallo-Germania only just starting to normalise after the Christmas Crisis - an incident manufactured by Banja Luka and Ivar - such a deployment threatens to rekindle old tensions. If both Crotobaltislavonia and Kadikistan are genuinely interested in regional peace and stability they will respect the balance of power as it stands.

 

[Rheinbund]

Aussenministerium
Trier, Eiffelland

We echo the words of the Trivodnian Minister of Foreign Affairs. Bomber aircraft are definitely offensive military equipment. This will do the balance in Gallo-Germania more harm than good.

Rudolph Kögler, Minister for Foreign Affairs and Vice-Chancellor

 

[Holy Frankish Empire]

Grand Duchy of Bourgogne

The Grand Duchy of Bourgogne is unaware of such facilities it has in Trivodnia. If Kadikistan's government could kindly let us know where they are, it would be greatly appreciated. Our current military presence is relegated to exchange personnel, training, and observers. However, this is now likely to change in the face of blatant imperialism on the part of Kadikistan. We wish to reiterate that any attack on Trivodnia will be considered not only to be an attack on Bourgogne, but also an attack on the free world. So, please do direct us to these facilities which your government notes.

 

[Crotobaltislavonia]

An attractive germanic woman with shoulder-length blonde hair and wearing a blue blazer and short skirt stands in high heels with her legs crossed at the ankles. Behind her is a live feed of Nazario waiting patiently among a dispersing crowd. In the distance is the main balcony of the Presidential Palace.

"Good afternoon. I'm Iva Stefanovic and this is CBS News. Our top story this hour comes from Red Square in Banja Luka where The Dear Leader Raoul Farrago just wrapped up a speech to supporters and members of the public. Let's head to Red Square where Nazario Capitani, our Chief National Security Correspondent, has more on this story. Nazario..."

The screen changes to show Nazario standing in Red Square as lines of people file one direction or the other. Further back, an APC rumbles by. In the distance, barely seeable, a couple of men on the main balcony pull in a Crotobaltislavonian flag.

"Iva, we're in Red Square today. Moments ago, The Dear Leader wrapped up a lengthy speech that covered quite a few policy points. As you can see, turnout for the speech was heavy. Citizens began arriving to hear The Dear Leader's words as early as four AM this morning."

Iva in VO: "Nazario, what did The Dear Leader have to say that was so important?"

"Iva, The Dear Leader covered many issues, including wanting to see a Crotobaltislavonian Catholic clergyman have a greater role in the Church. But most of the speech covered the The Dear Leader's desire for Crotobaltislavonia to have peaceful and prosperous relations with its neighbors, including it's quote eastern neighbor unquote. Iva?"

Back on Iva in the studio: "thank you, Nazario. That was Nazario Capitani live from Red Square in Banja Luka. The Dear Leader's speech will be rebroadcast tomorrow night at seven PM on the Information Ministry's radio channel, KKEZ 94.5, the Guiding Light. This is CBS News and we'll be right back."

 

[Polesia]

Ministry of External Affairs

If the cryptic speech of Raoul Farrago calling for better relations with Crotobaltislavonia's eastern neighbour does indeed refer to Trivodnia, we would be willing to enter into bilateral discussions with Banja Luka providing certain conditions are met.

The anti-Semitism and baseless accusations of Trivodnian involvement in the so-called 'Christmas Coup' will not be easily forgotten, and we would need firm evidence of a real desire for improved ties plus a genuine apology for the gross defamation and slander we suffered before entertaining direct talks.

 

[Crotobaltislavonia]

An elegant middle-aged woman appears sitting at a glass desk with her legs neatly crossed. She has close cropped dark hair and wears a partially unbuttoned burgundy blouse and matching skirt cut just above the knee. The woman reads the papers in front of her before looking up at the camera. Her face has a grave expression.

"I'm Maria Garva and this is CBS Noon Roundup. Our top story this midday, two bodies were discovered just after dawn at the municipal reservior outside of Banja Luka. CBS News has learned a man walking his dog came across the bodies that were resting just inches away from the city's water supply. The man immediately reported his discovery to park rangers. Banja Luka police were called and the man was taken away to headquarters for questioning. Sources within the police have revealed the nude bodies are those of a man and woman who were brutally mutilated, possibly while still alive. The sources also tell CBS News that internal organs are missing from both bodies. The investigation continues. No word yet on whether or not the SPA will be called in to assist."

The shot changes to a different camera as Maria swivels her chair and smiles. "Ladies and gentlemen, it is good to be back. I would like to apologize for my unscripted outburst on air last December. It was a stressful time for me and I allowed my personal issues to compromise my professionalism. Fortunately, I have great bosses and co-workers here at CBS News who have supported me and loved me during my recovery. And I have you, my loyal viewers. Thank you all for your heartfelt messages of concern and your well wishes."

Maria swivels as the shot changes back. Behind her is file footage of Raoul Farrago in the heat of oratorical genius. "In a broadcast this morning on the Information Ministry's radio channel, KKEZ 94.5, the Guiding Light, President-for-Life Farrago announced new initiatives to bring the Free Canton into more harmonious co-existence with it's neighbors. The initiatives include inviting representatives from Bergenheim, Elben, and the Free State to visit the H-3 airbase and other Crotobaltislavonian military installations in the east to verify that there are no Kadikistani combat troops present. President-for-Life Farrago also proposed that representatives of states surrounding the Polesian and Northern seas meet to begin resolving all conflicts and disagreements regarding those bodies of water in preparation for a treaty summit this summer.

"And now, CBS Noon Roundup's first look forecast. This afternoon will be sunny with a high of 83. Tonight, mostly clear with a low of 47. Looking ahead, temperatures will turn slightly cooler. Monday and Tuesday will be sunny before showers move in mid-week.

"The fallout from the Christmas plotters massacre continues: what did President-for-Life Farrago know and when did he know it!? More news on the way!"

 

[Polesia]

Ministry of External Affairs

While we welcome the positive overtures coming from Banja Luka, there is still a long way to go before relations are fully normalised. The Free State will reach out to concerned regional partners to discuss a potential inspection of Crotobaltislavonian military facilities to ensure there are no permanent Kadikistani combat personnel stationed in the country.

 

[Crotobaltislavonia]

Afternoon Edition
Serial Killer Terrorizes Banja Luka
Last night on KJCM 98.3's popular call-in show, an unidentified male took credit for the Banja Luka reservior killings and claimed there are now two more bodies waiting to be found. During the call-in, Banja Luka Police was summoned by KJCM staff members and recordings of the broadcast were taken way to police headquarters for analysis. After the call-in, KJCM was inundated with complaints from terrified citizens. This morning, Banja Luka Police stated it is taking the matter very seriously and has increased patrols in and around the city with officers on the lookout for more slain citizens. The Police reminds all citizens to remain vigilant and aware of their surroundings. If you see any suspicious activity, immediately contact the Banja Luka Police or call the State Political Administration's toll-free hotline at 1-800-CBS-INFO. Remember, you can remain anonymous.

Blud Legalized
In a snap decision announced today, President Farrago has legalized the purchase, possession, and usage of Blud. The sale of the dangerous drug is restricted to authorized wholesalers and dealers. The Drug Control Unit of the State Political Administration will now supervise the importation, distribution, and sales taxation of Blud. President Farrago also declared that all crimes committed while under the influence of Blud will be punishable with the death sentence. This afternoon, Blud futures are trading lower at the Banja Luka Board of Trade after an initial spike that topped out at six figures.

Other Headlines
Foreign Ministry Optimistic On Normalization With Trivodnia
President Farrago Nominates Father Josef Szabo For Cardinalship; Catholics In Uproar
Opinion: Nekmet Behind Reservior Killings

 

[Polesia]

Joint statement
Ministry of External Affairs and Ministry of the Interior

The Crotobaltislavonian government threatens to undo weeks of progress in bilateral relations with its move to legitimise the sale of deadly street drug 'Blud' that has devastated communities across the Three Seas region, including many in the Free State of Trivodnia.

Trivodnia has been on the frontline on the war of drugs, with hundreds of heroic law enforcement officers injured or killed battling the smugglers, dealers and addicts who plague our streets.

Rather than encourage the trade of dangerous psychoactive substances, Crotobaltislavonia should be working with others to reduce demand and supply.

 

[Crotobaltislavonia]

Overnight News Dump
Cops Protest In Banja Luka
Off-duty police officers from Banja Luka and other cities marched through the capital this evening in protest of the legalization of 'Blud'. The march's destination was Red Square where the officers gave speeches demanding 'Blud' be taken off the streets and denouncing President Farrago administration of the country. Banja Luka Police were on-hand to monitor their colleagues who numbered over 1,000. No arrests were reported.

Serial Killer Taunts Police
Banja Luka Police held a press conference regarding the serial killer who is terrorizing the city. Police announced they have found two more bodies killed and mutilated in the same manner of the reservior victims. A source within the department revealed the killer left behind a gruesome graffiti scorecard: "KILLER: 4 BLP: 0". Still no word on whether or not the Police will request State assistance.

Other Headlines
Gangland Violence Up As 'Blud' Supply Dwindles
Government Report Says M-L Economy Is Strong
Archbishop Says Church Makes Its Own Decisions
#1 Show 'Kobra Kombat' Renewed For Second Season

 

[Crotobaltislavonia]

A Breaking News graphic news appears and dissolves, replaced with the image of a young and attractive Germanic woman with shoulder-length blonde hair and wearing a black, low-cut t-shirt and matching slacks. She stands in high heels with her legs crossed at the ankles. Behind her is a live feed of Nazario waiting nervously as he's jostled by a tightly packed crowd.

"Good day. I'm Iva Stefanovic and this is CBS News Special Report's continuing coverage of the Banja Luka protest. We immediately go back to Red Square in Banja Luka, to Nazario Capitani, our Chief National Security Correspondent. Nazario, give us a recap of today's events."

The screen changes to show Nazario standing in Red Square among a press of human bodies, male and female, mostly in their 20s. Some are holding up Crotobaltislavonian flags as a speech is given by an unseen speaker. Nazario is bumped by a girl who has begun jumping up and down as the crowd starts to cheer and chant slogans denouncing 'The Dear Dickhead'. Nazario reaches up to shield his earpiece from the growing noise.

"Iva, we're in Red Square today. What began this morning as another orderly protest by the country's police against 'Blud' has rapidly morphed into a 'Day of Rage' as young people from Banja Luka and surrounding cities and towns have gathered to express their dissatisfaction with the Farrago regime. No one seems to be in charge at the moment, though I'm told a committee will be elected later this afternoon to prepare a manifesto and present it to the regime. I estimate there are around ten thousand protesters in the square now and more are coming. I think another busload just arrived. Iva?"

Iva in VO: "Nazario, what has the police response been? Have security forces been deployed to the square?"

Nazario looks over his shoulder and cranes his neck. Looking back at the camera, he says, "I don't think so Iva, not yet. As we reported earlier, the off-duty police officers that assembled have melted away, giving the square to the kids. And the minimal police presence that was on-hand to oversee things is gone. I have seen no response by security forces, though I would imagine plainclothes agents are among the crowd. So far, the 'Day of Rage' has been more bark than bite. Iva?"

Back on Iva in the studio, standing in front 'Day of Rage in Banja Luka' plastered across the big screen: "thank you again, Nazario. That was Nazario Capitani with an update live from Red Square in Banja Luka where the massive protest against President Farrago continues. This is CBS News Special Report and we'll be right back."

 

[Crotobaltislavonia]

An elegant middle-aged woman appears sitting at a glass desk with her legs neatly crossed. She has close cropped dark hair and wears a black blazer, white blouse, and a black skirt cut just above the knee. The woman gives the camera a stern expression before starting to the read the news.

"I'm Maria Garva and this is CBS Noon Roundup's continuing coverage of the protests in Red Square. There are new developments this hour from the city of Banja Luka and elsewhere in Crotobaltislavonia. The Committee for a Free Crotobaltislavonia has been officially endorsed by the National Fraternal and Loyal Order of Law Enforcement Officers. Off-duty police have been seen rejoining the protest in the square, bringing with them much needed amenities taken from SEMA's disaster stockpiles. . . . Sympathy protests have sprung up in Bijeljina, Foca, Laktasi, Petrovo, and other cities around the country. . . . As numbers in Red Square have swollen to over one hundred thousand citizens, there are reports of SPA security forces massing outside of the city. . . . Finally, there is still no official response from the Farrago regime to the Committee's manifesto that was issued early this morning. Sources within the regime, on the condition of absolute anonymity, report that the situation is tense and a power struggle could be developing."

Maria swivels to her right, stands, and walks out from behind the desk. On the big screen behind her, a picture of a balding older man, clearly an academic type, appears. The man is sitting in front of a wall of books.

"Joining Noon Roundup now is Dr. Elizar Montepelier of the European International School of Thought, an expert on Crotobaltislavonian politics." Maria turns to the image and asks, "Dr. Montepelier, what's going on behind closed doors right now?"

"Miss Garva, thank you for having me. Right now, the Farrago regime is teetering on the brink. I'm surprised this regime has lasted this long. The reapproachment attempt with Trivodnia was a clear sign that things are not well . . ."

CBS News Ticker: . . . QUEEN VICTORIA PRAISES PROTESTERS . . . COMMITTEE PROMISES TO REIMBURSE CAFE SWARMED BY PROTESTERS NEEDING RELIEF . . . POLICE THINK RESERVIOR KILLER IS LURKING IN RED SQUARE . . .