Crotobaltislavonia
Establishing Nation
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2007
- Messages
- 509
A Ministry of Information graphic appears on screen with brass fanfare. The graphic fades to reveal a young Slavonian man sitting at a desk in front of file footage of fighter jets overflying the Presidential Palace. The man is looking smart in a dark grey suit, a red tie, and brown brogues. He is all business as he arranges his papers and then looks up at the camera when the theme concludes.
"Good evening, Comrades. And now the news.
"Today the Air Force put on an impromptu display over Banja Luka when three fighter jets overflew the city before producing sonic booms directly above Red Square and quickly accelerating away. A few cracked windows and frayed nerves were reported to Banja Luka Police. The Air Force later apologized for the stunt.
"In other military news, the Army is headed home after several days of continuous exercises along the border with Lars. The War Ministry is saying that all objectives were met and the General Staff is satisfied with the Army's state of readiness.
"Back in Banja Luka, the Information Ministry announced that Mrs. Hedwig Allinger's three scheduled performances next month have sold out. Ticketbuster and Stubhut are reporting brisk sales on the second-hand market and say they expect prices to rise substantially as the concert dates approach.
"Turning to sports, last night's heavyweight bout dubbed the Countdown to Doom lived up to its name."
Cut to a brief highlight reel of last night's boxing match. The Slavonian man in voiceover: "challenger Kubrat Szántó and number one contender Slobodan Kopitar fought it out for fifteen rounds. The fight was being called a draw by ringside commentators until the final round when Mr. Kopitar was forced to his knees by a flurry of punches from Mr. Szántó. Before the referee could step in, Mr. Szántó delivered a controversial final punch to the back of Mr. Kopitar's head. Despite losing a point, Mr. Szántó won the match when Mr. Kopitar was unable to continue. Mr. Szántó's victory makes him the number one contender in the heavyweight division."
Back on the Slavonian man: "up next, it's getting warm outside and the Slava is flowing high between its banks, a word from the Weather Service about flooding across Crotobaltislavnia and how you can protect yourself this spring."
"Good evening, Comrades. And now the news.
"Today the Air Force put on an impromptu display over Banja Luka when three fighter jets overflew the city before producing sonic booms directly above Red Square and quickly accelerating away. A few cracked windows and frayed nerves were reported to Banja Luka Police. The Air Force later apologized for the stunt.
"In other military news, the Army is headed home after several days of continuous exercises along the border with Lars. The War Ministry is saying that all objectives were met and the General Staff is satisfied with the Army's state of readiness.
"Back in Banja Luka, the Information Ministry announced that Mrs. Hedwig Allinger's three scheduled performances next month have sold out. Ticketbuster and Stubhut are reporting brisk sales on the second-hand market and say they expect prices to rise substantially as the concert dates approach.
"Turning to sports, last night's heavyweight bout dubbed the Countdown to Doom lived up to its name."
Cut to a brief highlight reel of last night's boxing match. The Slavonian man in voiceover: "challenger Kubrat Szántó and number one contender Slobodan Kopitar fought it out for fifteen rounds. The fight was being called a draw by ringside commentators until the final round when Mr. Kopitar was forced to his knees by a flurry of punches from Mr. Szántó. Before the referee could step in, Mr. Szántó delivered a controversial final punch to the back of Mr. Kopitar's head. Despite losing a point, Mr. Szántó won the match when Mr. Kopitar was unable to continue. Mr. Szántó's victory makes him the number one contender in the heavyweight division."
Back on the Slavonian man: "up next, it's getting warm outside and the Slava is flowing high between its banks, a word from the Weather Service about flooding across Crotobaltislavnia and how you can protect yourself this spring."